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Tzhebee
February 17th, 2004, 08:41 PM
01. You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they're all equal.
02. You have time to shave only one leg at a time.
03. You hide in the bathroom to be alone.
04. Your kid throws up and you catch it.
05. Someone else's kid throws up at a party. You keep eating.
06. You consider finger paints to be a controlled substance.
07. You've mastered the art of placing large quantities of pancakes and eggs on a plate without anything touching.
08. Your child insists that you read "Once Upon A Potty" out loud in the lobby of Grand Central Station and you do it.
09. You cling to the high moral ground on toy weapons; your child chews his toast into the shape of a gun.
10. You hope ketchup is a vegetable, since it's the only one your child eats.
11. You can't bear the thought of your son's first girlfriend.
12. You hate the thought of his wife even more.
13. You find yourself cutting your husband's sandwiches into cute shapes.
14. You can't bear to give away baby clothes -- it's so final.
15. You hear your mother's voice coming out of your mouth when you say, "NOT in your good clothes!"
16. You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.
17. You donate to charities in the hope that your child won't get that disease.
18. You hire a sitter because you haven't been out with your husband in ages, then spend half the night checking on the kids.
19. You use your own saliva to clean your child's face.
20. You say at least once a day, "I'm not cut out for this job," but you know you wouldn't trade it for anything.

Valkie
February 17th, 2004, 09:40 PM
you know that you're a mother if

1. you don't have a problem with cleaning up a runny nose with you're own hand
2. you see someone else's kid screaming in the mall and you say to yourself, 'thank god mine behave'... and know full well that someone else is thinking of the same thing about your kids.
3. you're idea of a day off is being able to do the grocery shopping, laundry, and clean the house without being interupted.
4. you go to work part time for a vacation.
5. if there is silence... you know that something is broken, going to be broken, or it will be broken my some little voice screaming bloody murder.

VelvetBlade
February 17th, 2004, 09:51 PM
these are great guys...thanks!!

~AW

morrigen
February 17th, 2004, 10:15 PM
:lol: And I thought I was the only one who hid in the bathroom....the bathroom is my Sanctuary!!

I also hoard his baby clothes...he's only 10 months old, but already I look at his new-born clothes wistfully...he was so little...

And I donate to every children's charity I come across...so now he should be pretty healthy his whole life.. :hehehehe:

But I'll never, never, clean him with my spit...my mother used to always do that...it's gross...you end up with someone else's stinky spit on your face instead of dirt.... :sick:

VelvetBlade
February 17th, 2004, 10:19 PM
But I'll never, never, clean him with my spit...my mother used to always do that...it's gross...you end up with someone else's stinky spit on your face instead of dirt.... :sick:

I swore I would never...and I did...laughed my butt off once I realized what I'd done....:lol:

LightDancer
February 17th, 2004, 10:27 PM
1. you don't think twice about taking a bite of your childs half eaten food when it is offered
2. you know all the words to every kids show
3. you make strange noises/faces in public just because your 2 year old laughs at them
4. find yourself passing a group of unruly teens and muttering 'where are their parents?' or 'shouldn't they be in school?'
5. pay far to much attention to bowel movements...consistitency, colour, frequency
6. you know how sick your child is by the colour of her snot

B*B
Jamie

morrigen
February 17th, 2004, 10:51 PM
I swore I would never...and I did...laughed my butt off once I realized what I'd done....:lol:

Oh no! :lol:

zehava
February 17th, 2004, 11:45 PM
I swore I would never...and I did...laughed my butt off once I realized what I'd done....:lol:

ditto!! i think i even said, outloud, to the victim... errrmm... child i wiped up... 'holy s*&^, i just wiped you with spit and didn't realize it until the deed was done! i'm turning into my mother!!!'

and then had to apologize for swearing.

-z

zehava
February 17th, 2004, 11:47 PM
5. if there is silence... you know that something is broken, going to be broken, or it will be broken my some little voice screaming bloody murder.

ROFL!!! that is SO TRUE!! :hehehehe:

-z

LadyOak
February 18th, 2004, 07:43 AM
You are in a store and you hear "MOM!" and you answer even if your child is not with you.... :rolleyes:

Faery-Wings
February 18th, 2004, 08:34 AM
I swore I would never...and I did...laughed my butt off once I realized what I'd done....:lol:
Me too!

Faery-Wings
February 18th, 2004, 08:34 AM
These are all waaaaaayyy to funny! Thanks so much for the laughs this morning!

FaerieLuma
February 18th, 2004, 08:39 AM
:hehehehe: :thumbsup: I have to say: all of the above!!!:hehehehe:

zehava
February 18th, 2004, 12:01 PM
You are in a store and you hear "MOM!" and you answer even if your child is not with you.... :rolleyes:

:hehehehe:

i have done that many more times than i care to count!!

-z

LadyOak
February 18th, 2004, 12:45 PM
That is good to know!!! :lol:

*GrumpButt*
February 18th, 2004, 01:51 PM
**5. pay far to much attention to bowel movements...consistitency, colour, frequency**


I find my self staring sometimes just to amke sure....

And the one about the quiet...

When I step out side for a quick smoke, if the girls arnt laughing or trying to come out, or it is just to quiet, i know it's time to come in.lol

Autumn
February 18th, 2004, 04:57 PM
ROTFLMAO

Too too true!!!

Calyx
February 18th, 2004, 11:19 PM
You are in a store and you hear "MOM!" and you answer even if your child is not with you.... :rolleyes:

That is SOOOO true!!! :lol:

Calyx
February 18th, 2004, 11:27 PM
Oh yeah, and the rest of them are totally true too!
Not to mention, I find myself saying things like "potty" and ending other words with -ie while at work. Oh well, at least I can give humor to other people too! :lol:

Gods, my spelling sucks tonite! This was the third edit to fix typos...

Biinasu
February 23rd, 2004, 06:26 AM
You are in a store and you hear "MOM!" and you answer even if your child is not with you.... :rolleyes:I remember that from Family Circus. XDD!


As for the wiping with spit thing, I do that all the time now, and I'm not a mother at all, but I'm so used to my mother doing it to me all the time (even now, at 16!). My friends sure hate it though. >>;;

docdoo
February 23rd, 2004, 12:03 PM
Heres a couple more...

1. Every time you drink something you check for 'floaties'

2.You find yourself truly believing that if you hear "Mom he's looking at me funny again" you may very well run out of the house screaming.

3. On the off day that you dont have your children you wind up feeling like you're 'forgetting something' all day long..*hmm not the car keys...Oh yeah now I remember its the kids*

4. You cringe when your son walks up to you, hands cupped, and says "Look at what I found Mom!"

5. You have finally discovered how to give 'the look'.. you know the one...where you just look at the kids and they begin trembling in fear LOL (its the one that says...do it again...I DARE you!)

6. You know all too well how to get those nasty mushed up french fries out of the upholstry in the car

theres a few more for ya! Fun thread guys...
til next time

Esmeralda
February 29th, 2004, 08:39 PM
I have one to add:

You know you're a mother (and not just your own person anymore!) when you arrive to pick up your child from preschool and one of his classmates says, "You must be Stevie's mom!"
*sigh*
Not, "Mrs. Smith" not "Jane Smith" but "Stevie's Mom."
(I'm not complaining, btw!)

BrenaSidhe
March 1st, 2004, 04:21 AM
---You know your a mom "when"---

you catch yourself singing the sesame street version of [let it be] "Letter-B"... And when hearing the real song again realise that you like the sesame street verion much better...

Suddenly have no issues with cracking open a box of gold fish crackers while grocery shopping, and letting the kid eat while you shop... And think people who pass by scowling, are either downright evil and or stupid because of it...

Find yourself rightiously defending a certain brand of peanut butter, and knowing where they sell big jars for the least amount of money...

Know that small children should only be alowed suckers/ice cream bars and other such things, while bathing...

know that if the vcr dosn't work, theres almost always bound to be some bizar object shoved in it...

Dread walking the house in the dark, for fear of stepping on legos or match box cars...

Semele
March 2nd, 2004, 03:46 PM
I swore I would never...and I did...laughed my butt off once I realized what I'd done....:lol:
I was just about to tell her not to say that. It will happen. Picture it..in the car all decked out and ready for pictures or to go see grandma..whatever and the little stinker finds something and gets it on his cheek. It can be a smudge from an old sucker he found or from leaning on the window...you will try and try to get it to come off without the spit shine..then you will resort to the tried and true method of Mom's everywhere. Heck..now I lick Trey rather than try to find a washcloth! Works for the cat!;)