Mairwen
July 18th, 2001, 08:13 PM
I can't believe it's been a year. :( It went so fast. I had the silly notion that you'd be in my life forever! I keep meaning to write stuff down before I forget, and those memories are lost forever. I went through a bag of your material scraps the other day, finally. They still smell like your closet. :-/ I don't know if you'd like what I'm making them into, but I think you'd be happy that they're being used instead of being thrown out. I still have my "I feel like an orphan!" moments, and there are times I still reach for the phone and start to punch in your number. The first time I heard the "This number has been disconnected" recording, I couldn't breathe ... Or I'll hear something and think, "Mommy would love it!" But now, I have no one to tell. Someone else already has your telephone number ... I go through my house and see ... your things ... and it still brings a lump to my throat. We've still not gone through everything; it's too hard. I have a cat that you would adore ~ she reminds me of Maxxe; I wonder if they're related? This weekend is going to be so hard, and I feel so lost ... again. I don't know what to do to make it any better. I don't know that there's anything I can do. I can't believe it's been a year without you. It's just gone by so very fast.