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View Full Version : Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust?



asamananara
April 2nd, 2004, 04:52 AM
You are going to die.
Yes, YOU. Maybe tomorrow, maybe in a hundred years... but at
some point, maybe when you least expect it, the holy temple of
the body will no longer be a viable vessel of the spirit. It will
be a junkyard of meat and wires.
Meat spoils.
Forever fraught with social and religious prescriptions and taboos,
disposal of our bodies after death is considered by most too
morbid for polite conversation. Too many grieving families find
themselves left with the grizzly task of making arrangements
for their dearly-departed, ignorant of the deceased party's final
wishes.
What are YOUR final wishes? If you were to die tomorrow, what
would you like done with your body? It's easy to shrug it off, saying
you don't really care one way or another... but if you don't
decide, and make your wishes known... someone else will have
to decide for you.

Dextra
April 2nd, 2004, 05:08 AM
I'm 26 and I've had plans to be cremated for a few years now. I've named one person and an alternate (in case the original person is unable) to spread my ashes over my favorite forest from a natural bridge nearby. I've also made arrangements for the care of my children, and I have a general will for my material things, along with a living will, and an organ donor card.

I did all this when my kids were born, and I review and update it once a year. Call me paranoid, but I don't like leaving things up to chance.

asamananara
April 2nd, 2004, 05:09 AM
Ideally, I would like to be left where I fall, my bones whitened
by the elements. However, unless I disapear alone in the wilderness,
I'm not likely to get my wish. Alternately, I would prefer
burial in the paleolithic style- my naked body covered in ochre,
intered in the fetal position with my ritual tools, a bowl of
grain, and a flask of water. I refuse to be embalmed, or undergo
any reconstructive cosmetics. The details are stipulated in my living
will, and my family have agreed to abide by them to the best of their
ability.

menolly
April 2nd, 2004, 05:12 AM
I've always wanted to see the world, so I've decided that when I die, I want to be cremated and my ashes given to my surviving family. I'd want them to go travelling on whatever money I leave behind, and leave a little of my ashes in all the coutries they visit, at the most spectacular place they can find.
I figure that way that if I don't get to see the world before I die, I get to travel all over in spirit.

asamananara
April 2nd, 2004, 05:13 AM
I certainly don't think you're paranoid, Dextra.. responsible
and considerate, yes. It's important for people to be aware
of the realities of their mortality, and to prepare the way for
their survivors.

Dextra
April 2nd, 2004, 05:17 AM
I have no desire to be embalmed either. My grandfather was an undertaker, and I know a bit about what goes on with that. Also, I don't want to be buried. I'm extremely claustrophobic. I explained that to someone, and they said "Why would it matter? You're going to be dead. How is being incinerated any better?"

One of my spirit animals is a phoenix *points at banner*. In this life I've gone through many transformations and rebirths, and being cremated would be the final one for this life. Plus I feel like cemetaries are overcrowded enough as it is. Here in Kentucky, some of the more crowded ones have gotten in trouble for "grave shifting", as in moving graves, or removing headstones and re-selling the plots. I take up enough space being alive. Once I'm out of this life, I have no need for my body anymore, so there's no sense in preserving it.

mucgwyrt
April 2nd, 2004, 06:38 AM
I want to be buried, and a tree planted over me so that I may nourish it and return to the Earth from whence came.
However... lets face it, if you're dead you're not about to see what happens, so why worry about it? Better I think to let your family do what would give them most comfort.

morrigen
April 2nd, 2004, 06:49 AM
No embalming, cremated as quickly as possible, and my ashes scattered at Stonehenge, or in York...maybe half at each...

Faery-Wings
April 2nd, 2004, 07:38 AM
This is a topic I feel very strongly about, much to the dismay of my mother, who hates to hear me talk of it.
I want every last peice of me used for whatever good purpose there is. Any organs are to be donated. The rest of me can go to science. Whatever is leftover is to be cremated and scattered over a body of water. The Earth is having a hard enough time supporting the living, I don't need to be taking up space when I am dead.
Dextra, you are so smart- I don't have a will nor life insurance. They have been on my "to- do" list for quite a while, but sadly, it is real easy to over look them.

Somewhat off topic: Does anyone know of an online "will maker" or computer program that would be considered legal?

Witchzee1
April 2nd, 2004, 07:50 AM
You are going to die.
Yes, YOU. Maybe tomorrow, maybe in a hundred years... but at
some point, maybe when you least expect it, the holy temple of
the body will no longer be a viable vessel of the spirit. It will
be a junkyard of meat and wires.
Meat spoils.
Forever fraught with social and religious prescriptions and taboos,
disposal of our bodies after death is considered by most too
morbid for polite conversation. Too many grieving families find
themselves left with the grizzly task of making arrangements
for their dearly-departed, ignorant of the deceased party's final
wishes.
What are YOUR final wishes? If you were to die tomorrow, what
would you like done with your body? It's easy to shrug it off, saying
you don't really care one way or another... but if you don't
decide, and make your wishes known... someone else will have
to decide for you.
I'm all set in that department. Thanks! :hugz:

Are you ok? I don't remember reading many of your posts before so I'm not quite sure if you're just throwing out a topic for discussion or if there is something troubling you.

I certainly don't mean to intrude if it's the latter but if you need or want to talk feel free to PM me.

:hugz:
Z

Kadynas
April 2nd, 2004, 09:32 AM
This is a topic I feel very strongly about, much to the dismay of my mother, who hates to hear me talk of it.
I want every last peice of me used for whatever good purpose there is. Any organs are to be donated. The rest of me can go to science. Whatever is leftover is to be cremated and scattered over a body of water. The Earth is having a hard enough time supporting the living, I don't need to be taking up space when I am dead.
Dextra, you are so smart- I don't have a will nor life insurance. They have been on my "to- do" list for quite a while, but sadly, it is real easy to over look them.

Somewhat off topic: Does anyone know of an online "will maker" or computer program that would be considered legal?
I agree... I'm an organ donor myself. After they take whatever they can use, I want to be cremated. Only thing I haven't decided is just where I want them to spread my ashes... :)

Boogins
April 2nd, 2004, 09:37 AM
While I'd love to be an organ donor, my meds corrupt most of my blood and organs sufficiently to make that a non-viable choice. I've always figured cremation, and my ashes scattered in Kananaskis country. My adoptive sister Jess knows--she wants the same thing. We'll be joining my adoptive father, so that's cool. :)

amberwolf
April 2nd, 2004, 10:22 AM
I made a will when i got divorced and also made arrangements of whom would look after my children so i would be comfortable knowing that someone I trust and they trusted to look after their welfare.Material things are just that they cant be taken with you when they go so My kids get to have what they want..Id like to be buried in a quiet peaceful field somewhere and a tree planted over the top so id at least be giving something back to the earth..i have a morbid fear of fire so wouldnt want cremation (even tho id know nothing about it )
I have picked the songs that i would like played too..and I would want a pagan funeral...

mucgwyrt
April 2nd, 2004, 10:22 AM
As much as I'd LOVE to donate organs, I won't out of conern for my family - it would tear my mother apart if I did, she would find it so upsetting on top of everything else (ie my death!)

Autumn Clair
April 2nd, 2004, 10:29 AM
I have all I plans filed away in an envelope for my family. I plan to go back to ashes and each my children husband and mother get part of them to spread in a noted place for that person. I left a letter to my husband and children and asked that they have a happy gathering with dancing, I picked songs and even asked my brother in law to sing one or two of my favorite country songs that are mine and my husbands songs we had a special meaning for.

I ask that I not be kept alive on machines and I update it every two years. It's very important to me that they know how much I love them now and exspecially on that unhappy day for them. It's my goodbye to them so they don't have to deal with everything.

Faeawyn
April 2nd, 2004, 10:30 AM
I don't want to be buried because I too am claustrophobic....I know I know...I'm dead. I also have a fear of being cremated because of the idea of burning....again, I know I'm dead. I think it's all those movies where you see people buried or cremated alive. Here's the funny part tho, I'm an organ donor, so theoretically, they'll remove my important organs before disposing of me....so I'm pretty sure without them, I'm really dead. But it still freaks me out. Oh and, I didn't donate my eyes because the idea of them cutting them out of my head freaks me out :bug: :yikes: ...don't say it...

docdoo
April 2nd, 2004, 11:05 AM
Cremated all the way. I have no desire to take up anymore space than I already do...though, honestly, Im not sure where I want my ashes to go. I dont really have any ties to anyplace I've ever really been to...*shrugs*.

mucgwyrt
April 2nd, 2004, 11:08 AM
I don't want to be buried because I too am claustrophobic....I know I know...I'm dead. I also have a fear of being cremated because of the idea of burning....again, I know I'm dead. I think it's all those movies where you see people buried or cremated alive. Here's the funny part tho, I'm an organ donor, so theoretically, they'll remove my important organs before disposing of me....so I'm pretty sure without them, I'm really dead. But it still freaks me out. Oh and, I didn't donate my eyes because the idea of them cutting them out of my head freaks me out :bug: :yikes: ...don't say it...

Bless, you do make me giggle :)

SacredWithin
April 2nd, 2004, 11:11 AM
I'm 26 and I've had plans to be cremated for a few years now. I've named one person and an alternate (in case the original person is unable) to spread my ashes over my favorite forest from a natural bridge nearby. I've also made arrangements for the care of my children, and I have a general will for my material things, along with a living will, and an organ donor card.

I did all this when my kids were born, and I review and update it once a year. Call me paranoid, but I don't like leaving things up to chance.

You're not weird. I'm only 17 and have decided that I want cremation. For one, I'm not a big fan of cemetaries, and two, I don't want my spirit to be daring trying to go in an out of a body I no longer want to associate with. That's a fear of mine. And if I get stuck, that would be a whole issue in itself.

asamananara
April 2nd, 2004, 02:16 PM
I'm all set in that department. Thanks! :hugz:

Are you ok? I don't remember reading many of your posts before so I'm not quite sure if you're just throwing out a topic for discussion or if there is something troubling you.

I certainly don't mean to intrude if it's the latter but if you need or want to talk feel free to PM me.

:hugz:
Z

Oh, just a random topic. I'm healthy, happy, hale, and hearty... but thanks for your concern. :)

Ahautenites
April 2nd, 2004, 02:25 PM
Everyone who would ever have any say it what would happen to my body knows I want to be buried in Pine Grove Cemetery in Lynn, MA. Or barring that, they know that I want to be buried in Massachusetts and *not* in Puritan Lawn Cemetery because that place gives me the worst vibes. (Puts me in a really bad mood whenever I have to go there. No other cemetery has ever done that.)

Nissala
April 2nd, 2004, 02:30 PM
I have already expressed my wishes to my children that when I die, I am to be cremated and my daughter to have my ashes made into a diamond that she is to have a ring made for. She will pass the ring down through the generations to follow...

zehava
April 2nd, 2004, 02:37 PM
I have already expressed my wishes to my children that when I die, I am to be cremated and my daughter to have my ashes made into a diamond that she is to have a ring made for. She will pass the ring down through the generations to follow...

now that's the most interesting answer i've heard :)

-z

Nissala
April 2nd, 2004, 05:18 PM
I heard about it a few years ago, and people are also doing this with their pets. Being to as many funerals as I have and watching what goes on, I don't want my children to go through that.. or have to spend that kind of money to put me in the ground... so this was the best alternative I could think of and this way a little bit of me will always be with them ;)

Dextra
April 2nd, 2004, 06:28 PM
That is a great idea. Reminds me of something my grandmother had done. My grandfather had a platinum ring with three 1-carat diamonds lined with 12 tiny sapphires. About 10 years after he died, my grandmother took it to a jeweler, had it melted down, and exchanged some of the platinum to have each of the diamonds made into three solitaire rings. The remainder of the platinum and the sapphires were used to make a pendant. My grandmother, aunt, and my mother each have one of the rings. The one my mother has goes to me, the one my aunt has goes to her daughter, and the one my grandmother has goes to my sister. I thought that was a nice way to pass a little of him on to each of us.

Pesha
April 2nd, 2004, 06:34 PM
Bury me near water and trees and I will look down from above and smile.

BB
DS.

Calzaer
April 2nd, 2004, 07:13 PM
Hah.

When I die, my cats are going to eat me into an unrecognizable state before anyone even notices I'm gone. There won't be much left for the state to cremate.

LittleRhiannon
April 2nd, 2004, 07:27 PM
If at all possible, I'd like to have my body be put on a viking long boat and the whole thing set on fire.

I can't really see that happening though. I wouldn't mind being put in some sort of crypt or masoleum (sp), so that generations of people like me could go to it and get scared pantless!

Flaire-FireStar
April 2nd, 2004, 07:28 PM
I'd like to rot where I fall. But I doubt that'll happen, so I'd like to be toasted, and possibly sprinkled on either Mike's grave, or my hometown.

Witchzee1
April 2nd, 2004, 07:41 PM
Oh, just a random topic. I'm healthy, happy, hale, and hearty... but thanks for your concern. :)
Cool! :thumbsup:

Then it's a good random topic to give some thought to! :smile:

Blessed Be!
Z

SpikesPet5150
April 2nd, 2004, 08:00 PM
I've had my entire death planned since I was 14. I was a morbid little person.

Without getting into weird detail, I'll just say I'm going to be cremated. Of course, thats after my organ donation. They can take anything they want, even my eyes. ;)

~Bree

Kadynas
April 2nd, 2004, 09:30 PM
I have already expressed my wishes to my children that when I die, I am to be cremated and my daughter to have my ashes made into a diamond that she is to have a ring made for. She will pass the ring down through the generations to follow...
That's the most awesome thing I've ever heard of! I didn't even know you could /do/ that! :)

aftershocked
April 2nd, 2004, 10:52 PM
I also want to have my remains made into a stone, to be placed in a ring.. while it does cost a pretty penny, from what I've seen, it's near or under the cost of a normal Christian funeral. Although hopefully I have a long time before this has to happen... :)