No patience left

[Moon Momma]

I need the strength to get through these next few days, weeks, months, however long it takes. And I'm not finding any strength from within so I'm asking for some from the outside.
I'm a single mom to 3 kids, 2 of which live with me...the oldest, who is 13, and the youngest, who is 18 months. I go to school full-time and the rest of the time I am home with the little one. I love this little girl, all of my children are the light of my life. But I'm running out of patience. The 13 year old is mouthy and argumentative. After a stunt she pulled a few months ago, we're now in counseling. However, because of scheduling conflicts, the counselors have only met with her once, for about 15 minutes. Needless to say, she hasn't made any progress and isn't acting any differently.
The 18 month old is beginning to feel like a parasite. I can't sit down without her climbing on me, I can't walk into any room in my house without her following me. She doesn't sleep through the night and her naps are inconsistent so I can't even plan doing anything after she's gone to sleep because she ends up waking up. Last night, for example, I tried to relax in the tub and read a book. I had been in there for 10 minutes when she started crying so I had to get out of the tub and go put her back to sleep. I can't clean my house. She's afraid of the vacuum. If I try to do dishes, she squeezes between me and the kitchen counter. I try to clean my bathroom, she comes in and starts pulling off toilet paper and getting into cabinets.
I have no help. I have no friends or family in the area. My on-again/off-again boyfriend lives in the next town and works 60 hours a week so he's no help.
I'm tired, I'm tense, I'm physically and emotionally drained. I have no energy or patience left.

[Nighthawk]

Oh my... well... I am distressed to hear this... I do have ONE thing thatmight help..I have two children. When theywere young, boy was afraid of Vakkie... UNTIL he strated getting rides on it... Daughter was afraid of my air compressor... UNTIL it blew bubbles in her swimming pool.... The rest sounds no so great.... I am not sure except getting a night out for you....Please take care....

[Bainidhe Dub]

((((Moon)))) Is there maybe a child care program in your area to help with the 18 month old? Even to get you a day or so a week away for yourself - also check with the local high school - sometimes they have child care/home economics/FHA classes with students looking for a good reference for in the future.

[Old Witch]

OK. Pagan or not, is there a church in your town that has a Moms Day Out program?
Can you keep her in a playpen? You can't reason with an 18 month old, so maybe invest in a baby gate......I know I'm stating the obvious, but you need a break!

As for pulling things out of cabinets, baby locks. And put the toilet paper where she can't reach it. And start teaching the meaning of the word NO!......and mean it! A tap on the hand with one finger and a stern no is a start!....I call it the "Finger of doom".......Worked with my kids, and is still working with my dogs.........

And seriously, when she cries at night, see to her and if shes all right, let her cry....it won't kill her.

She'll just have to get used to the vaccuum cleaner...........

Time to get tough!

[Pesha]

I was a single mother long ago trying to go to school and take care of two kids. I had to go on welfare to do this but it was worth it. I also prevailed on a local church that had programmes for single mums. They do not have to know you are pagan. Energies are sent to guide you into a more peacful feeling. Strength is sent to you to make the choices you need to. Your kids will come around and stick it out with the counseling for the oldest. I have a story to tell but will tell only in a PM> so feel free to PM me ok. Alot of women have walked your path and come out strong. Hang inthere sweetheart. And feel free to vent here when you need to. We will all listen.

BB
DS.

[nomadicdragon]

((hugs)) & energy

[Dextra]

Oh honey, I know where you're coming from. When my twins were small I couldn't get anything done. I couldn't even imagine trying to go to school when they were little. I wouldn't have been able to handle it. I didn't have many people around, but I did have my mom, and one good friend I could rely on to take the kids for an afternoon so I could get out. Yes, a playpen is a necessity. I don't think I could have survived without one. The vacuum she'll just have to get used to. I know there were times when my kids would start crying, at the same time :ack:, and the only thing I could do to keep from pulling my hair out would be to put them in the playpen or the crib. I'd go outside, or in my bedroom and just let out a good scream, or go pound on the mattress for a few minutes. You've got to vent your stress somehow. Even if it's just by coming here and letting it out. :hugz:

[Kaera]

i can't offer you much advice, having never been in your shoes. but i imagine it must be very difficult. i'll be thinking of you and your family, and try my best to send on some positive energy (new at this). be strong.

with love,
Kaera

[Moon Momma]

Thanks so much, all of you. Between the support here and at another board, a prayer to Gaia, a nap, and some "Awwwww" moments from my kids, I'm feeling much more positive. :colorful: