I ran out of time

[Yvonne Belisle]

I have run out of time I thought there was plenty of time before I had to explain puberty to any of my children. I was wrong it is now 12:13 in the morning and he is up with many questions. This will not be one of my happy memories because I am ill prepared and nervous. He's 12 and I am not quite ready but he is and it's his body so off we will go to explain how it works. I have posted this to warn others and remind them that these things happen when the kid is ready not us so we need to be prepared well in advance or we are going to be adlibing some of the most important information we give our children.

[reanna]

Oh! You poor thing! I am sending strength your way. It could be a long night for ya.
I'm sure you will do an excellent job though! Grace under pressure, right?

You are a great mom! My mom would have sent me back to bed and told me it could wait until the morning! I think you have a wonderful attitude about it!

[tigger759]

OHhh i know how you feel my 8 year old keeps looking at me and wondering i can tell. I've tried to explain some but i think i'm too chicken to do the rest. Due my lifestyle i'm sure i will get alot of questions someday!I try to hide from my kids as i feel they will know in time. But i'm preparing myself for that ill shreek in the bathroom one day when puberty hits her!! I just hope i'm prepared.
My mom handed me a book on jesus and told me to read it? Yeah that helped let me tell you. I don't want to do that to her. I want to be able to answer her questions and what not for her.
Good Luck hope it went well!!

[Myst]

My mom first began teaching me about women and men's bodies when I was two and walked into the bathroom on her and freaked out because mommy was bleeding.

When my parents were younger it just wasn't spoken of, which is how I got here ;) It's just great your son feels comfortable talking to you and that you take the time to talk to him!!!

[Yvonne Belisle]

Well it took over two hours and my face glowed several times like when he made noises he had heard me make but we survived it. I think I may have even done well he had more questions this morning. We put together a bag called his "boy bag" it has all the things a growing boy may need vitamins that are just his, deoderent, foot powder, baby powder with some goldbond added for sweaty lower parts, new toothbrush and his own toothpaste, soap that is just his, mouthwash, we are going to add cologne to it as well when we can. It is kind of a afermation of a major turning point.

[Margie]

Good Job Yvonne

[Lavender]

Good Job, Yvonne. It's not an easy thing to do...this "talk". I remember that a friend had told me that you should start talking about things like that when they're young. My son had started asking questions when he was about 4. It wasn't easy then either. The good thing is that this is something they do in Personal planning in school. We talk about it at home with him too & he feels quite comfortable with us. On the other hand, we were brought up in a different generation & things like sex & body changes just was not spoken out loud. It's hard.

At my son's school, they had a session for the parents. To go over the materials that will be presented to the kids. That way, the kids can ask the parents questions. I thought that was a great idea. One thing the nurse had said is that, the more the kids know about sex & their bodies, the less likely they will become teen parents. Good point.

[random]

that's great...

just too bad i had to be the one to explain the differences between homosexuality, heterosexuality, bisexuality, and transexuality to my brother 'cause he was too scared to ask my dad when my mom told him to ask me.......

but, that's great..

[loopy]

Hee... I still remember my mother telling me. I didn't know what the big deal was, just wanted to find out what my Sweet Valley Twins book meant when it used the phrase "blossoming into womanhood." Poor Mom. :) It was all over pretty quickly, though, and since I didn't realize it was supposed to be this big embarrassing deal, I wasn't really embarrassed.

[Yvonne Belisle]

The most embarassing thing for me last night was learning that a) I make that much noise and b) that my children knew what we were doing and sit outside the door trying to eavsdrop. I thougth I had heard one of them tell the other to leave us alone we were having sex but my mind was elsewhere. Silly me to divide my attention like that.

[reanna]

Yvonne:

Great job!:D:D:D:D
The "boy bag" is a fantastic idea. Would you mind if I borrowed it?

[Rævyn Cigány]

*sigh* ... I, too, am on the verge of giving the perfunctory "birds and bees" speech to my eight year old son...the thing is, I distictly remember me being five years old (and my younger brother not much older than that) and my mother telling me about reproduction and 'how babies are made' and all of that. I honestly don't think he's even hinted at questioning me, and although I am a very open person, I'm not quite sure how to go about explaining things to him. I cannot remember that far back to use the same words my mother did, although I do remember that she was very matter-of-fact and was more into the physical aspects of things than the emotional (typical Catholic ;))

Any pointers, people???

BB

Rae )0(

[Emerald Sky]

Hmmm... well, my oldest is only 2 1/2, but I'm very straight-forward and open with her already. My mom was another who never really explained things to me... I just kind of learned 'em on my own.

I don't want my daughters to think that their bodies and how they work are something to be embarrassed about. So I'm starting now to show them by example.

Even two year olds have lots of questions. Emily's favorite one is "where's the milk, mommy?" I'm nursing my six month old so I've explained to Em exactly what happens with lactation and why... in terms she can understand, of course. The only drawback is every so often she wants to see the milk coming out b/c the first time we had the discussion I showed her how that worked. :rolleyes: Another thing she always says to me is, "I like your boobs, mommy" :D LOL. I usually snicker and say, "Yeah, so does daddy." :D

Eve - I think it's wonderful that you've made your son feel special by creating his "boy bag". I applaud your attention to his 'coming of age' so to speak. I think it was on this board that I read about a ritual to celebrate a teens' coming of age... maybe it was in a book. Anyway, it was a really beautiful thing that I hope to do for my own daughters some day.

I also applaud you b/c I would think it would be more difficult to explain things to a male - being female yourself. I'm glad I only have daughters so far.

[rantnraven]

Originally posted by Yvonne Thomas
The most embarassing thing for me last night was learning that a) I make that much noise and b) that my children knew what we were doing and sit outside the door trying to eavsdrop. I thougth I had heard one of them tell the other to leave us alone we were having sex but my mind was elsewhere. Silly me to divide my attention like that.

'splain that? Did ya? :eek:

Not an easy thing to do. I remember when I first desided to not kiss my Dad before going to bed. Tough call but, it had to be done.

I do not envy you at all but, good job.

Blessings friend,
RnR

[Linx]

Originally posted by tigger759
OHhh i know how you feel my 8 year old keeps looking at me and wondering i can tell. I've tried to explain some but i think i'm too chicken to do the rest. Due my lifestyle i'm sure i will get alot of questions someday!I try to hide from my kids as i feel they will know in time.



Just our of curiosity, what have you told your son? Mine is 8 (soon to be 9) and I try to be as honest and open as possible. Yes it has backfired in my face a couple of times but I feel that is the only way that the both of us are going to learn together.

My son, as well as my daughter (4) both know that correct terminoligy for their private areas, I only felt it right they should. They both know where babies come from. Of course I didn't decide when the time was right, they did. They came to me and asked, instead of mollycoddling around the issue, I just gave them the truth.

Maybe if my mother would have had such an open relationship with me, that I felt I could have went to her with anything, I wouldn't have been preggers, and married at 16. Not that I look back on that now as a mistake. It has been ten years, and I am still married, still in one piece, and completely happy.

I am often very open with my children about my faith, in fact they are being raised as Pagan. And why not? I feel as though they need some sort of direction in life, and who better to get it from then their parents. Of course the end decision is completely up to them. They are allowed to go to church with other family members on occassion, and that is because I want them to know what else may be available to them. When they are grown, they may not feel that Paganism is the right Path for them. Just as I did not see Christianity as the correct path for me. Just because something wasn't right, or is right for me, doesn't mean that it will be right for them. I just feel that they need some sort of direction, Paganism happens to be what I offer them.

As I said previously this has backfired on me a couple of times. Such as my son informing unexpecting people that he does not believe in the Christian god. Or telling his teacher that he will send her energy when I am sick. Things like that have had me answering questions. But I am prepared to handle any and all obstacles. If I were not then this would not be the path for me.



[COLOR=darkred]At first I was not going to involve them or impress my beilefs upon them in anyway, then something happend. Then I realized that if I was not going to influence them someone else was going to, and it may not be something I liked. My in laws had my son baptized without my knowledge, thus creating a war between family members for a time. Finally we sat down and talked and laid the cards out on the table. he will be raised how I see fit, and under my faith. At the time he is old enough to decide for himself, the choice is his. Of course I secretly hope that he chooses Paganism. And from the looks of things now he will. But he will always be knowledgeable of what else is available for him. The same goes for my daughter

My this has been long, I am sorry. But hey, I guess you all just got a little bit more of a peek into my life:o)

[Mariposa De La Luna]

I'm very open with my daughter about sex and where babies come from. There's this book we borrowed from the library that explained it in a funny way but it was OK. It had cartoon drawings of people and sperm and stuff. I know there's a video to go with it but I can't remember the title. I guess you could look it up. She was OK whatever about it all.

I haven't gotten deep into the "blossoming into womanhood" part though. It'll have to be this year too. She starts 3rd grade this year and I got my first period in 4th! Then just think about having to discuss masterbation! :eek: Is a parent's job ever done?

[Yvonne Belisle]

My son already knew about it!:eek: so I put a big thing of lotion in the bathroom.:rolleyes:

[Myst]

Originally posted by Emerald Sky
Another thing she always says to me is, "I like your boobs, mommy"

I babysit and have babysat quite a bit since I was 12 and there are a few times where they, well, caused a stir .. Most recently when I was babysitting my 2 year old niece and she tried to bite me there lol. I also remember once being asked by one of the little girls I babysit if she could see them and when hers would grow.

Oy vey :rolleyes:

[Mariposa De La Luna]

Originally posted by Yvonne Thomas
My son already knew about it!:eek: so I put a big thing of lotion in the bathroom.:rolleyes:

Boys do start earlier than girls in that respect. My husband told me, I don't have much experience with them. I have four sisters and all our first borns were girls. :eek: I told him our son was his to potty train and whatnot. :D