I feel..wrong in some way.

[ArKane]

I don't know. It's good friday and my parents insist on eating fish. I said I didn't want fish because I don't like fish at the best of times [it makes me sick] and could I have chicken. They said no. I asked why? And they said that it was good friday and the only meat you were allowed to eat was fish because you aren't allowed to eat red meat. I said could I some chicken instead because chicken isn't red, it's white. They said no. Can I have some spam then? That is definitly *not* meat. They said no. Now they know my beliefs and they know that I do not celebrate the holiday and they were getting quite shitty over the fact I wouldn't eat the fish. I asked it I could just have vegetables then? They said no, your having fish. So to save a big fight, I ate the bloody fish and now I have a terribly sore stomach [fish makes my stomach sore] and feel .... wrong some how. I 'particapated' in a holiday thing that I don't even believe in. It doesn't fel right.

Every other year it's been fine because I have never been around on the holiday but this year it was different.

[RubyRose]

Hhmmm. Tricky situation. My mother aint cooking this weekend so I don't have to worry. Although they don't not eat red meat on Good Friday ... they're not overly Religious.
I not sure what to suggest really <shrugs> ...

[Morr]

dont feel wrong..
i dont feel wrong when my family has big jewish holiday family gathering dinners.. i just shut up and smile.
if its to save the heartache & arguments within a family - theres nothing wrong about it. You just ate fish.. big woop.. more over - you did it as your parents requested you to do so, i think thats a very honorable thing. You were consideret of their feelings, and if anything - thats the right thing to do.

(even though some parents can be assholes - talking from a personal experience - but still!).

[becky1104]

Twisted Arcane, don't feel bad, I to am going to have to eat fish today( mainly for my in-laws sake, they don't know I am a wiccan) so I know were you are coming from. Think of it as you were honoring the death of a great man, because jesus was a great man, he taught great things just like gandhi and matin luther king. Next year though, tell your parents that not eating meat, also means you CAN eat vegetables, remind them that fish upsets your stomach! Hope this helps sweetie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :floating:

[ArKane]

Ah Ta all. Next year wont be so bad because I'll be 18 by then and can eat whatever I want.

[jodarius]

i am sorry that they dont support you, its too bad you had to eat that fish, i never can stand fish either. i was always the child who would be told that i would sit at the table until i ate my food, and well i would just sit there, until they would give up. now no one even tries to get me to eat something if i dont want to. but you really shouldnt fell so wrong, just think of it as doing something for your parents, not a religious practice.

[Faery-Wings]

Why would they make you eat fish if they know it hurts your stomach?
I agree with everyone else, don't think of it as particiapting in the holy day, just as eating what your mom cooked. yum.
And just so you know, I am 35, family of my own, but I don't think I would eat meat in front of my Catholic Italian parents today, simply out of respect. But I also remember many Fridays when I was a kid and had an icky tuna fish sandwich ( I HATE tuna!) and all my friends had something yummy. :wah:

[FaerieGothMommy]

I'm sorry you had to go against your beliefs, but like Morr said, at least you thought of their feelings and just done it to save the hassle - which is what i'd have probably done.
Luckily i don't have that problem, as my mom is not religious in anyway, if for some reason i don't want to go by the traditions, she'll just say, thats ok eat something else....

I know it must be hard for you too, but i must say, as your parents know your beliefs, they should also take yours into consideration instead of just thinking of themselves (sorry if that sounds too harsh)

[Golden Princess]

Hey how hard can it be to not eat red meat one day a year!!!!

My biggest problem was when.......... my children asked why they couln't eat meat today.
I couldn't answer them, but we still didn't eat meat on Good Friday

Can somebody Please Explain!!

Cheers

[jodarius]

but it tastes so good in my mouth, mmmmm .. red meat. plus its not the giving up o red meat, it was the forcing of fish eating.

[FaerieGothMommy]

And the fact shes being forced to go by beliefs that she does not follow, were always the ones who have to keep peace for the catholics/christians and just bide by what they believe.... uuuggghhh, so unfair!

[David]

i am sorry that they dont support you, its too bad you had to eat that fish, i never can stand fish either.

I bet her parents are just thinking her beliefs are a "Phase", and she's just being "Rebellious" and she'll "Grow" out of it. And truth to tell probably Twisted, some of your interaction with your parents probably is you just being a rebel for the sake of being one. That's normal your nearly a legal adult and you've about had it with people running your life. But...

You don't need to hear that from me. Hell I'm 40 and I have a 20 year old and an 18-year son. They both still live at home I go through the same kinda struggles with them everyday. So take it from someone your age, someone is also feeling that pinch that comes from being ready to fly, but not old enough for the license yet! Morr, has got it nailed...


dont feel wrong..
i dont feel wrong when my family has big jewish holiday family gathering dinners.. i just shut up and smile.
if its to save the heartache & arguments within a family - theres nothing wrong about it. You just ate fish.. big woop.. more over - you did it as your parents requested you to do so, i think thats a very honorable thing. You were consideret of their feelings, and if anything - thats the right thing to do.

(even though some parents can be assholes - talking from a personal experience - but still!).

Yes I just quoted her whole post, because it's one worth looking at again. Now maybe your parents really shouldn't have made you eat fish if it makes you sick like that, but I'll bet money that if you continue to give them some slack, they will start to listen to you a little better. My 20-year-old son and I get along pretty good. The 18 year old and I still go at it. I think the biggest difference is the 20-year was on his own for a couple years, and got into some trouble. He's back home and I'm helping him get back his feet. He's gone from being 17 and telling me to F-off to my face to actually ASKING me for advice. For my part I've learned that he is going to make his own decisions, and he may or may not heed my words. But at least now I know we are listening to each other. Now I'm not saying all ‘parents’ or I are always right. But we're not ALWAYS wrong either. And believe it or not MOST parents 99% of em just want their kids to be friggin happy. It's NOT that we don't remember being 17 - 21 or 22 - 25 etc.. In fact you'd be surprised how little OUR personal wants and needs have changed from that age. I still want to have fun; I still don't want to be ruled by a clock. I still don’t' want to do something just because it's "socially acceptable". It goes on... the biggest difference is that our outlook is different. 20 some years will do that. 20 some years of being responsible for another person’s life will do that. Ask the younger parents on here, the ones with wee folk how much THEIR outlook has changed since their children were born. Raising a kid is tough. THE toughest part I've found so far is letting go when you’re done. You dedicate 18 years of your life to someone else. No not everything you do is for your kids, but keeping that job you hate is. Not spontaneously running off for weekend or week or even just an evening is. Not chasing your dream to be an actor/actress, artist or whatever is. Basically you find yourself going ok... now what?

Ok, I hope you stuck with me through all that. Basically I'm NOT trying to say your needs and wants and beliefs and thoughts are bulls#!T. I'm NOT trying to say your parents are right. I'm just trying say they most likely mean well even though they really F-up sometimes. And the reason they F-Up is because they aren’t REALLY any different then you, or me or anyone else. I'm just in your parents peer group <age wise and parenting wise> so I'm trying to give some perspective.

[soilsigh aingeal]

I bet her parents are just thinking her beliefs are a "Phase", and she's just being "Rebellious" and she'll "Grow" out of it. And truth to tell probably Twisted, some of your interaction with your parents probably is you just being a rebel for the sake of being one. That's normal your nearly a legal adult and you've about had it with people running your life. But...
But if something makes someone sick, it's obviously not being rebelious, even if she asked if she could just eat veggies. It's the same as not eating red meat.

What's the big deal with fish, anyway? My mom reminded me the same thing this morning when I left my daughter and went to work. SHe said "remember you have to eat fish" Well I simply just don't eat fish, I don't like it and I refuse to eat it. On occassion I will have a tuna sandwhich but I have to be in the mood for it.

So... Why not just not eat any meat at all? What's wrong with that, why is it so bad just to eat veggies and no meat at all, Specially if it makes you sick. I had the same chicken argument w/my mom too ;)

Oh, and I agree, you shouldn't feel bad (except for your belly at this point) because you participated with a tradition your family has because of their religion. I still celibrate Christmas and Easter w/my family, do you know why, because our family is SOOOOO religious that when I was young, it was only about Santa and the Easter Bunny. Not anything religion related. My mom didn't start cracking down on religion with me until I was in middle school but I think that's because I asked too many questions about Jesus.

[MetalliKat05]

...They forced you to eat the fish even though you didn't want it, and they knew you'd get a stomache...all because THEY want YOU to participate in something that they are aware you have NO INTEREST IN whatsoever? :fpatricks:

What's that about?
I would've just NOT ate.

[LittlePerson]

I have a very catholic grandfather who gets fish every friday and every friday we were there we ate fish. That is also a good friday tradition and an x-mas eve tradition. They have changed the laws in the church and you don't have to do it on fridays anymore. I don't know about good friday though. But even though I'm not Christian anymore, doesn't mean that I wouldn't participate in the meal. I would still participate because of family tradition.
Just think of it as a family holiday instead of a religious holiday and maybe you can cope. Best of luck to you.

[Shanti]

They are your parents and to prevent a war, you ate the fish. You are a strong person. One thing I believe is its always us giving in and christians run everything but it goes to show who is stronger and who is wiser. Be proud of the strong, smart person you are. A fight under those conditions would of added up to you being the 'bad' one and nothing would of been solved. I am sorry the fish made you sick. When I was a child my parents made me eat carrots (there good for me) but they made me sick, then they'd get angry because I would get sick!!! Go figure.

Your OK. You did good.

[WrathofCirce]

Hey how hard can it be to not eat red meat one day a year!!!!

My biggest problem was when.......... my children asked why they couln't eat meat today.
I couldn't answer them, but we still didn't eat meat on Good Friday

Can somebody Please Explain!!

Cheers
Here's the kicker!!!! Not eating meat on the fridays of Lent is a tradition begun by the Catholics. You were supposed to take the money you saved (fish was cheaper, then) and donate it to the church. There is no deeper meaning.

[soilsigh aingeal]

Ugh and my family is not even catholic! You mean I had to eat tuna all those years for no reason at all????

[WrathofCirce]

Ugh and my family is not even catholic! You mean I had to eat tuna all those years for no reason at all????

Well, you're supposed to be making a sacrifice, at least that is what they are telling you now, but when it started it was all about money. Now they are trying to tie it into abortion too and make it an every friday thing. Saying the reasons are 1.To embrace the Catholic symbolism of not eating meat on Friday and 2. repentance for the sin of abortion.

If someone wanted me to make a sacrifice it wouldn't be giving up eating a cow. I already steer clear of red meat. Take away my chocolate and I'll feel like I've made a sacrifice.

[soilsigh aingeal]

Well, you're supposed to be making a sacrifice, at least that is what they are telling you now, but when it started it was all about money. Now they are trying to tie it into abortion too and make it an every friday thing. Saying the reasons are 1.To embrace the Catholic symbolism of not eating meat on Friday and 2. repentance for the sin of abortion.


So.... it used to be an every Friday thing or they are shooting for it to be that way for the heck of it, OR they are trying to put it back?? I'm confused about this now... And what does abortion have to do with eating fish on Fridays?? Thought I was confused before....well look at me now :lol:

[David]

er no offense guys, and this isn't my thread it's Twisted's but! :fofftopic

I mean IF it where my thread I'd be annoyed it's turned into a discusion about eating fish.

[soilsigh aingeal]

Sorry

[Dextra]

Twisted, I'm sorry you had to put up with that from your parents, I know how hard it is to deal with a family that accepts that you have a different religion, but still expects you to follow the traditions of theirs. It's maddening. But look at it this way: you may have suffered a stomachache, but you probably saved yourself from a ton of headaches by making a big deal out of it. And you'll be 18 before you know it, and these petty arguements will become a thing of the past. :hugz:

[Faeawyn]

I thought the idea was to simply not eat read meat....so I'm not sure why they INSISTED you eat the blasted fish. I don't see why vege's wouldn't have been fine. But anyway, you shouldn't feel guilty that you ate fish. I'm sorry your tummy hurts....but I can't think of a single reason what you have to feel guilty about. I still put up a christmas tree and cook a ham dinner on easter and I have no guilt :)