Will take all the calming energy you gots to give right now...

[Jenne]

Lemme start by saying that, like a lot of women here on MW have professed, I have a very large difficulty obtaining, retaining and maintaining relationships with women. Asexual sisterhood. It just alludes me. There are 3 women I consider soul-buds, and we can always pick up wherever we left off, whatever time of year/day/whatever, however long it's been since phone calls, e-mails and letters.

Then I have a group that I "hang out with" here in San Diego. We formed as an off-shoot from ivillage (I don't know how many know of ivillage.com, but it's an ok place to be and gather--used to be better before they went totally commericalized). Anyway, we decided to all meet IRL after being more/less a good-sized online community of moms who were young and needing friendship and someone to hang out with. I joined this particular group with my sister-in-law, who lived down the street from me at one time.

So, we all hung out, and as happens, some people were closer to others b/c they hung out alot together. Whatever...some people click more. I clicked with this very independent, beautiful woman. Except for one thing--she's someone who can never be vulnerable and completely open with ANYone, so I lost ground with her as soon as things got "too real."

Anyway, this whole group is in an uproar, partly because my relationship with this woman went awry and she spread it throughout the group. Partly because my sis-in-law was a quasi-leader and they all decided that when she was tired and needed a break from always leading, that she should be taken down, stripped and set afire. I disagreed (having thought this might happen from the beginning),and now the dynamic has shifted so that *I* am now the target. Tho, truth be known, I allied myself to her almost outright, b/c I just couldn't see them tearing her apart like that...no one deserves that.

So, this totally reminds me of sorority life or high school drama. LOL All of these women are 25 and over...some are in their 30's like me. WHY do women do this? Compete, compete, compete, tear each other down, get petty and selfish, and just out and out nutso with each other?

I'm all atwitter and don't know what to do with myself right now. I need calming energies. And energy that keeps me from chucking the whole lot of them into the Pacific Ocean. Again, I knew something like this would happen--and it did. So what to do? I can't sit back and take it, and I don't want to throw away 3 years of friendship (quote/unquote). So I'm stuck.

This group is all I know in SD. I have no other gfs. Sigh.

Thanks for listening. I know it's a small somewhat petty problem to have, but it looks rather large at the moment!

[angelbaby]

I know how you feel. I have a very hard time being friends with other women. Online, I do have more girl friends. IRL however, even in highschool, I have always had more guy friends. I always thought that once i got out of highschool, people were more mature and such...what a shock to find that it was WORSE than when I was in highschool. And I for one think that military wives are the worst. The ones I have been in contact with are the most gossiping, back stabbing group of women. I refuse to have anything do to do with any of them. I prefer to hang out with my husbands guy friends. They are the greatest friends I have. I love them all like brothers. I have never understood why women are so petty and vindictive. But oh well, I'd rather have guy friends anyways...more trustworthy for the most part I think.

[~*Ginger*~]

:hugz:

[Jenne]

Thanks, Guys. Seems I'm still taking heat from a couple of these gals who think it's ok to pick on people in groups of three...

And they're witches who believe in the 3 Fold Law, no less...

Anyway, I'm gonna take a breather from them for a while and see what shakes out...Glad I have MW...b/c that forum I was on with them was my other "home"--and when you've been made unwelcome in your own home, times can get rough...:hugz:

[Faery-Wings]

Hi Jenne, I know what you mean.When I was younger, I always had more guys friends as best freinds. In many ways, guys are easier to be "real" with.
Since I got married and became a stay at home mom, it is harder to keep male relationships.
And as I got older, I drifted away from many of my girl friends. I have very few friends now, but the ones I do have are ones that I willhopefully keep for life. I have a new philosophy- I'd rather put the energy into only a few very close friends, than have many more superficial relationships.

Just last week, I had a "friend" completely blow me off, for no reason. *shrugs* Whatever. I have enough drama in my life just with my immedite family, I don't need it from anyone else, ya know?

I hope that things calm down for you and your group. And if not, then realize that there is one or two people in your life that you can always count on, and that is really what counts.

[LadyOak]

Energy sent to you...

[AutumnRose_43725]

Grounding, calming energies on their way..........

[Calyx]

Oh hon, I can SO identify with you. I think there's a lot of females here at MW who've expressed the same problems and frustrations that you are going through right now.
My line of reasoning is this---women who act this way are jealous, shallow and insecure about themselves and they envy you (or your SIL in this case).
*sigh* It still doesn't make it feel any better, though, does it?

I'm sorry you are having to go through this. But you know you have your "sisters" here at MW to hang out with. And if I knew you IRL, I'd hang out with you anytime! :hugz:

I hope things calm down soon. Sending you lots of hugs and some energy for calm and inner peace. :huddle:

[Nighthawk]

I am sorry to hear... time does help smooth things... I do not have patience, yet I say...have patience.. sorry, but the best I can do.. I am sending calming energy to you...

[Shadowolff]

The steady strength of ocean tides be yours, the peace of a babe sleeping in its mother's arms be yours, the love of the Great Mother and all your true sisters, known and yet unknown, be yours.

[Pesha]

{{{{JENNE}}}} I truely understand what it is you are going through. It is alot like being in college or high school. I really have never figered out why women cannot be total friends without all the petty crap getting in the way. I suppose after having gone through the same experience a few too many times I have come to the conclusion that I am better off being alone. I am hard to get along with being my outspokeness is sometimes taken the wrong way. Anywah enough of me. For you sweethear maybe taking a short break is a good thing. But stay in contact with them. A weekly fly by to say hello and all that. Calming energies is coming from me to thee and balnce and an aura of peace be around you. We are all here for you.

BB
DS.