Why is it so hard to be motivated?

[SamuraiInBlack]

I mean...I sit here and I have a great life ahead of me. I'm a college man now doing college homework and college things. And in a few years afterwards I'll be out on my own making my own life for myself and anyone that is still dear to me.

Yet I can't be motivated. To do anything! I try to do some graphics work, I just sit there in frustration because I can't even think of what i want to do with it.

I sit in my Electronics Engineering Tech course and I take the notes and I study the boards and the circuits but none of it makes sense because I don't even want to do it. I want to but I don't feel up to doing it. It's like being paralyzed and wanting to run and jump and play but I can't because I'm stuck in a wheelchair. Or wanting to read all those great storybooks and novels and history books and other literary pieces but I can't because I was never taught to read, to put it in an analogical form.

So that leaves me wondering what on earth had happened to me that could've crippled my motivation to such levels where I can only have the WANT to do so many things yet I don't have the inspiration nor the drive to actually DO IT!

I look over my life and I can't possibly think of any single or a number of circumstances or situations in my life or even events that could've possibly triggered this!

Nowadays I can't even do a damn webpage without closing out the HTML editor of my choice and just shaking my head in frustration! WHAT is going on with me!? This has been going on for awhile now and it's driving me crazy!

I can barely even motivate myself enough to get up in the morning!

Life is supposed to be wonderful and joyous and learning is supposed to be fun and exciting. Technology is something I cream my pants over at any given second I get to go read entire volumes upon. Yet to actually go and do half the stuff I want to do...I JUST CAN'T!!!

I find some sort of reason why I can't do it. And if I don't and I push myself to look beyond those reasons and actually do it...it's like I'm at the edge of a cliff.

I have to jump for some oddball reason. But I just don't have it in me to do it. But I know that I HAVE TO. But everytime I push myself closer to the ledge I find myself stepping backward, fighting my own footsteps!

What is going on with me!?

[mol]

Are you getting your EE ? If so...I would say you are extremely motivated...you might just be tired. :)

[Sequoia]

hey samurai. . .

ever think you might be depressed? You don't nessicairly have to be sad-feeling to be depressed, sometimes what your saying can be a symptom. It might not be so but it's worth looking into.

[gunner]

both mol and puma have good suggestions, i used to have a problem with "the winter blues" seasonal affective disorder that affected me much the same way, now that i understand it it's much easier to deal with. it does sound as if you're carrying quite a work load and fatigue will bring on depression.