help

[azuric]

my mother wont let me "become a pagan" because she thinks their all bad people and that their all freeks and that noone actualy belives in paganism they just do it to be freeks and to be set aside from the rest of us !?!?!?!? help what can i say to her !?!?!?

[simskathouse]

Hun, how old are you? I get the impression that you are fairly young (younger than myself). I tell you, that is such a difficult situation. My mother and grandmother were DEVOUT Christians and I was pretty much forced into being a Christian. My sister is 11 years older than I am and once she moved away she went on her own and became a witch, I on the other hand got away from the Christianty but was in limbo up until just recently. It is so difficult for a young person as yourself to prove to someone that we are not devil worshippers which is what most think of us. I think as a young adult your mother looks at you like you are her baby and she knows best. Just take it slowly, don't ruin your relationship with her and when you become an adult and you longer have to answer to her, then take that path. As of now, keep your beliefs, she can not take that away from you, but peace is so important when you still live at home. I hope you can get this worked out, but I truly believe that when people are so blinded by their own ideas of what we believe, they can not and will not see anything different so it would be a waste of your time and energy to force her into beleiving and trusting you on this. Does any of this make sense? I hope so. Let me know if I can ever be of any help to you!

Blessed be!
Kat

[DraconisArcanus]

At 14 you still have some growing to do lil one. For now it is best you follow your mother's wishes. However, it doesn't mean you can't do study on your own. Read, read and then read some more. Knowledge is power and the more you gain, the more you will be prepared to tell your mother the truth about pagans.

Peace!

[azuric]

thanks ill take your advice and wait for a while :)

[Celtique]

After you've spent some time reading and learning, and if you do indeed decide to become Wiccan...perhaps offer your mother some of the reading you've aquired? She may not completely understand the ways and practices. You can help her see it's not what most people percieve it to be. However; I agree with the others...you should be patient and read, learn, make sure it is the right choice for you at such a young age.

Best wishes!

[azuric]

thnx :) ill take your alls advice and wait till i move out and maybe as celtique said show my mom some good books that explains it all :)

[azuric]

this is why i love this site :)

[Shadowolff]

my mother wont let me "become a pagan" because she thinks their all bad people and that their all freeks and that noone actualy belives in paganism they just do it to be freeks and to be set aside from the rest of us !?!?!?!? help what can i say to her !?!?!?
Try, "You know, that's probably true for a lot of kids." The doing it to be freaks and to be set aside from the rest, I mean, not the bad people part. (Moms love it when you agree with them. I know, I'm a mom. :lol:) Kids have always found ways to set themselves apart from their parents and their parents' generation. I certainly did. That's part of becoming an adult.

If it's true for you, she has a point. If, on the other hand, you're seriously pursuing a spiritual path, recognize that what's inside is even more important than what's outside. While you're under your mother's care and her responsibility, use this time to study, to learn, and to grow, and respect her wishes about things like jewelry, artwork, etc. Let it become a part of who you truly are before you talk about it... It may seem like forever to you now, but before you know it, you'll be on your own, supporting yourself, and then -- an it harm none, do what you will.

If this is indeed the path for you, I promise it will always be there for you to walk.

Hugs from an older sister --

[Jenett]

I agree with the other stuff people have said - it'll get easier as you get older, too.

The people in my coven have a wide range of jobs. I work in a high school library, someone else works doing quality assurance for a medical company (as in 'making sure that the things that get implanted in people's bodies to keep them alive work right'). My HPS works for the state, other people have a variety of office jobs in various fields. We all dress professionally (for our relevant jobs) at work, and I think for most of us, you wouldn't peg us as Wiccan if you didn't know, or at least didn't know some of the more subtle clues to look for. That's also true for a lot of adult Pagans I know.

But if you look at teen or college age folks, there's something of a wider variation - you haven't had the chance for people who are serious about their religion to shake out from the people who aren't, and are doing it out of rebellion or to freak out their parents. (That usually shows up in other ways, like whether they're in a stable job, stable relationship, things like that: obviously, people have Life Stuff happen to them sometimes that messes up that stability, even if they're serious about their religion. But you get the idea.)

But yeah, take your time. The best way you can convince your mom you're serious and this is good for you is to demonstrate that it helps you be a better person. If you work hard at school, get good grades (and extra help if you need it), do household chores without *too* much complaining, and other things like that, it's a lot harder for your parents to say "You're doing it to rebel" or "It's just bad" - because that goes against what they're seeing directly in front of them. But it also takes time to demonstrate that - over years, probably.

That's ok, though - you've got time, there's a lot to learn, and there's lots of stuff you can learn before really focusing on Wicca or another specific form of Paganism. Learning *how* to learn, learning general stuff like history and science and logical thinking and mythology and such will help you out in the long run, no matter what else happens.

[azuric]

thanks all :) could anyone give me lots n lots of stuff to study about paganism???


:)

[Kaylara]

Just look around the site. There is so much information here, it's crazy! :D