Are all men this clueless?

[savannahrose44]

I sure hope not. I'm having a little trouble you see...My ex-boyfriend is living with me right now, as his house was sold out from under him by his greedy landlords. I didn't want to see him on the street, so I told him he could live with me until I move into my own apartment(I have been temporarilly living in my mothers boarding house). He keeps saying he wants to try to work things out, but the complications that broke us up the first time will not just go away. He is one of those people who only believes that wich the normal senses can detect. So you can imagine the problems we were having. Not only that, but we are just not suited to one another in a romantic relationship. We are fine as friends. Anyways I told him that as soon as I come up with the money for the deposit on my new place I'm outta here. I expect that to happen sometime next month. And what comes out of his mouth, but well I can help with the deposit so WE can move. He just doesn't get it...I told him I don't feel like we are meant to be together in that aspect, and he wont listen to me. What do I do? :rant:

[Ben Trismegistus]

Are all men this clueless?
Yes.

[mol]

Yes.
No.

[Nighthawk]

Oh boy... okay guys.....Look, Savannah... this guy might be an idiot.. but he is a hopeful idiot... I think he is lovable just because he is so clueless... but, you may not want to be with him. Oh well... Not sure what advice to give him.... unless it is a sign saying that..."CLUELESS" then walk away

[Tzhebee]

See....even the men are arguing amonst themselves....they apparently have no idea.

Here's a suggestion. Kick him out. Maybe that will open his eyes. :shrug:

[Shanti]

I suggest that it is best to approach him with a 2 year old perspective and volcabulary!

Thats bad but hey ya never know.

[Faeawyn]

I think you're going to have to sit him down and tell him "look, I want to be on my own for a while. You're a nice guy, but not my boyfriend any more. I'm moving out on my own....alone" And see how he takes it. Some times...you just have to hit the nail on the head.....

[David]

See....even the men are arguing amonst themselves....they apparently have no idea.

Here's a suggestion. Kick him out. Maybe that will open his eyes. :shrug:

Kick him out looks who's talking... the proprietor of Hotel TZ... :lol:

[Nighthawk]

Hey guys.... We done been slammed hard... Someone get Ben and mol and...oh, me...never mind

But there are lots of ways to tell someone, I think

[CloakofStars9]

Yes.

muahahahahahahahahahahaha:hehehehe:

[savannahrose44]

Okay here is a little bit more to complicate the issue...He has a 6 year old daughter.

[mol]

See....even the men are arguing amonst themselves....they apparently have no idea.
No...one man has said no. We dont even know what Ben is.

The proper question would have been...can some people really be this clueless...the answer is yes. On both sides of the sexes.

[Dextra]

Yes.


No.

I agree.

[mol]

Okay here is a little bit more to complicate the issue...He has a 6 year old daughter.
Wah! All the more reason he needs to get on his feet and start making a life for himself and his daughter.

[savannahrose44]

Wah! All the more reason he needs to get on his feet and start making a life for himself and his daughter.

It's not that simple for me, I have been the only stable female figure in this little girls life for the past 2 1/2 years. Her mother is a drug addict.

[Tzhebee]

It's not that simple for me, I have been the only stable female figure in this little girls life for the past 2 1/2 years. Her mother is a drug addict.
You can be a stable female figure in her life with them living in a different house. Don't let guilt for what her mother is, make you miserable.

[Keith Dragon]

What are we talking about? I forgot.

:-)

[Nighthawk]

He he he.. I thought Ben was a man

[Ben Trismegistus]

No...one man has said no. We dont even know what Ben is.
Bitch. ;)

[Haruka2077]

Wait 'til you're ready to move out, then be as mean as you have to be to make him go away. I know it's harsh, but I've dealt with a LOT of cute, clueless, clingy guys in my life and you really have to be hard-hearted sometimes. Some of them just do NOT get it until you've brained them with a frying pan.

Edit- OK, I read a little further- but I'm afraid I have to stick with what I said. It'll be a shame for her to lose a female figure in her life, but this situation isn't gonna be a healthy one for her to observe either.

[mol]

Bitch. ;)
That's Mr. Bitch to you!

[mol]

Edit- OK, I read a little further- but I'm afraid I have to stick with what I said. It'll be a shame for her to lose a female figure in her life, but this situation isn't gonna be a healthy one for her to observe either.
She doesnt have to lose her as a female figure...only as a roommate.

[Nighthawk]

*Runs in*..Oh Boyssss, Boysss.... Stop it! he he

[Haruka2077]

She doesnt have to lose her as a female figure...only as a roommate.

Maaaybe... But if he really continues to be clueless it might not be possible to stay "friends".
..Damn, I'm projecting. :lol: I'm probably being extra-harsh cuz of all the guys I wanna beat right now.
The nice people are probably right. :)
*points to status message*

[Isil Darkmoon]

That's Mr. Bitch to you!

Yes Sir, Mr. Bitch, Sir!

[Heathen Dawn]

Are all men this clueless?

Now, now, savannahrose, you must remember all men are different. (I’m an exception to this)

[FaerieLuma]

Are all men this clueless? I've come to the conclusion that they are... I think you should talk to him very seriously about how you want to move on and expect him to do the same. Good luck hun!:)

[Romani Vixen]

I'm dealing with that myself... close at least. Mabye it's just portland....

[Kadynas]

It's hard but I think she has to keep in mind that this is not her child and not her responsibility... It can hurt to get attached to a little one like that, but I don't see daddy getting the message unless she makes a clean break...

[MerrisHawk]

I can see him trying to use the child as a type of leverage to hold on to what he wants.
Tell him plain and simple, there is no "us". Don't waffle or guess or say maybe. You already told him no. Offer to be around for the child, it's not her fault it didn't work. Ask him if he understands that there will never again be a romantic relationship. Make sure the words come out of his mouth.

[Shadowolff]

The proper question would have been...can some people really be this clueless...the answer is yes. On both sides of the sexes.

Hear, hear. *nod of agreement*

Question: are you sleeping with him? Not a problem (for me, anyway) :lol: but if you aren't it will be easier to get through to him that you want to live on your own for now and this is non-negotiable.

On a practical level, even though this isn't exactly your responsibility, do all you can to help him find somewhere of his own, even if this means involving Social Services. Having no where to go, especially with a child (is she with him?) is pretty intimidating and I can understand how he might prefer being clueless.

I don't know your relationship with his daughter, but sometimes our lives intersect with others in ways that unfold profoundly meaningfully... Your heart will tell you what you are meant to be for her, and to what degree, but all children are precious and deserve to be loved... With her own mother at least temporarily lost in the abyss, you are a manifestation of the Great Mother to her now...

My heart is with you ~~ this is't an easy situation.

[Tzaolunyin]

Yes. No.

Maybe! :D

[DraconisArcanus]

I think you're going to have to sit him down and tell him "look, I want to be on my own for a while. You're a nice guy, but not my boyfriend any more. I'm moving out on my own....alone" And see how he takes it. Some times...you just have to hit the nail on the head.....
Well said Faeawyn! And no, not all guys are this clueless. But I will say I loathe my own species some days. Just for the record, the rest of us who DO have a clue would like to take a baseball bat to the one's that don't because they make our lives miserable just like yours.

That beings said....where did I put that bat anyway????

Peace!

[Romani Vixen]

I missed that he has a child.... I know of resources in the area if that's the case. Just PM me!

[savannahrose44]

[QUOTE=Shadowolff]Hear, hear. *nod of agreement*

Question: are you sleeping with him? Not a problem (for me, anyway)

No, I'm not "sleeping with him," and he sleeps on the floor.

[savannahrose44]

I don't know your relationship with his daughter, but sometimes our lives intersect with others in ways that unfold profoundly meaningfully... Your heart will tell you what you are meant to be for her, and to what degree, but all children are precious and deserve to be loved... With her own mother at least temporarily lost in the abyss, you are a manifestation of the Great Mother to her now...

My heart is with you ~~ this is't an easy situation.

Thank you that really helped. This little girl is very precious. My hope is that even when things end, I can still be a part of her life. She has a very bright and promising future ahead of her.

[Pesha]

Sorry but men as lovely and necessary as they are in the world are generally totally clueless...........runs and ducks under ther table.

BB
DS.

[savannahrose44]

Well said Faeawyn! And no, not all guys are this clueless. But I will say I loathe my own species some days. Just for the record, the rest of us who DO have a clue would like to take a baseball bat to the one's that don't because they make our lives miserable just like yours.

That beings said....where did I put that bat anyway????

Peace!

Thanks for the reassurance. I was begining to think that all men were cluless, maybe its just my luck to get the clueless ones. This one was not the first. Well at least he didn't do what the last one did. After we broke up because he cheated on me, he came back and said his new gf had broken up with him, so since he couldn't have her he might as well have me. I was his SECOND CHOICE! How stupid can he be? :lol:

[Shadowolff]

[QUOTE=Shadowolff]Hear, hear. *nod of agreement*

Question: are you sleeping with him? Not a problem (for me, anyway)

No, I'm not "sleeping with him," and he sleeps on the floor.

Good, that does help. All the best, Savannahrose -- we're here for you.

[LadyTrinity]

No matter if the guy is sweet or rude, if you want to be alone.. being with him will only stress you out be bothersom. There is no nice way to tell someone that you need to part. Just say whats on your mind and be direct. Things will seem more clear and the weight on your shoulders will be lifted. Good luck hun

[savannahrose44]

Thanks to everyone for all the good advice. I'm sure I'll think of something. :huddle: