What do you do......

[Mariposa De La Luna]

.....when life's been so tough you can't see what can possibly become of this?

......when little things like bills, illness and cars suddenly not working seem like they are never going to stop building up and you have bigger things to worry about.

....when these things happen right when you admitted one of your deepest pains and all you want to do is heal but you're just emotionally drained.

.....when you feel uncertain and like there's nothing more you can give.

....when you feel powerless.

.....when you wonder why the Goddess has done this to you, or if she's even there.


I'm just at this odd point and not as strong as I normally am. Being like this is not familiar to me. Its almost like I'm being tested, the funny thing is I know this isn't going to last. But when its over where will I be? Who will I be? better off than I am now, I hope.

[Lavender]

Sahm, I so understand where you're coming from. *sigh* I'm going through similar things right now. Car, money, health...

All the little things add up & feel like you have a mountain sitting on top of you. Right now, we just take it one day at a time & hug our son a lot. Whenever I feel really bad, I just go & watch my son play. It really helps me put things in perspective.

[Faery-Wings]

It is such a hard time. But you do get through it, you always do... you have no choice! :)

Sending you lots of hugs and strength~~~~~~~~

Do you have someone who could watch the kids and maybe you (and hubby?) could go for a walk, get some ice cream, have a picnic? I know when things get crazy like that here, my kids sense it and that is when they act the most needy. Just taking a few minutes mental break from them, sometimes gives my brain a slight break and I can deal with things better in the long run.

:) :heartthro :)

Hang in there,

Chris

[ladyrowan]

Originally posted by SAHM
.....when life's been so tough you can't see what can possibly become of this?.................
I'm just at this odd point and not as strong as I normally am. Being like this is not familiar to me. Its almost like I'm being tested, the funny thing is I know this isn't going to last. But when its over where will I be? Who will I be? better off than I am now, I hope.

I've been there several times, and although I've not got all the answers I have learnt a few practical coping strategies.
I find it's slightly easier to cope with now, because I can look back and see that however bad things have been in the past, they ALWAYS improve eventually. Thats not so easy to do if you've not been through it all before.
I think any personal situation is made worse if you also have debts to worry about.
If bills are piling up and you can't pay them all, take an hour or so to write to them offering a small interim payment. List all your incomings and outgoings, send creditors the list with the offer to pay a SMALL equal amount to them all, monthly for a period of, say, 3 or 6 months, depending on your situation. This will show them that you are not ignoring the problem, that you are trying to find a solution. Look up 'debt' in a search engine, you should find a template somewhere that you can use.
Over here, we have a Citizens Advice Bureau which will do it for you, at NO COST TO YOU (that's where i used to work as a debt counsellor), you might have a similar organisation there. Takes the burdon off yourself, and sometimes creditors will take more notice of an official organisation than they do of an individual.

Here's a few other things i try:

1. Only do the bare minimum about the house, save your energies for nicer things, such as a walk in the woods/ the sea/ the countryside/ the park, depending on where you live. It always lifts my spirits, if only for a short time - you deserve the break.

2. Think of something bad i've got through before, and know that if i could get through that, i can get through anything. Make sure the previous thing is something you're well and truly over, draw on the strength of knowledge that you CAN do it again.

3. This one's quite hard, but it can help - Realise that it is a 'test' or lesson you just have to get through. Know that you WILL be a stronger person for it. It's hard to see what these lessons are when you're going through them, but when you can look back on it, it's often quite easy.

4. Talk to someone not personally involved, but who you can trust implicitly. You might think they won't want to get involved in your problems, but a true friend will be happy to talk.
Or talk to people here. I've only been here a short time, but have noticed that there are lots of lovely people happy to help, and all with different views on the subject. Some of them are sure to help.

5. Take time to 'shut off' from your worries, do something you really enjoy, or something that always relaxes you. Force yourself to do it, worrying 24/7 doesn't help.

6. If you feel you need to sleep a lot, an escape, DON'T feel guilty about it. Your body knows best.

7. Guard against it turning into depression. Medication can often help short-term, and i know there's people here who can suggest alternative remedies.

I hope some of this will help, sorry I can't do more.
Good Luck :heartthro

[Twig]

You take life one day at a time. Live simply that you may simply live. And always know that you are loved. :heartthro :heartthro

Peace,
Twig

[Mariposa De La Luna]

Thanks y'all! You've all helped.

[MammaStar]

Hey there SAHM. I think a lot of us have been where you are right now. I know I have, and I'm just getting out of that cycle. It took a long time and a lot of work and support from my friends and family.

It seemed just a lot of tiny things helped me pull out of that "dark" time. I had broken up with my live in b/f at that time and had to give up the REALLY nice apartment we had and move back into my Mom's apartment w/my son. I lived in her LR while my son took my old bedroom. At the same time I lost my job and took a job at the local supermarket just to keep up. I felt like I was drowning in debt, and no matter how hard i tried couldn't get my head above water. I was arguing w/my Mom constantly, and to top it off, my son's father was harassing me about custody of our son. I just wanted to scream. Which I did. But then my Dad called and told me he was buying a house w/three bedrooms and basically said I was moving in with him. So I did. THEN, I found a job (my current one now), that I do enjoy and pays pretty good (at least better than what I was making @ the supermarket). It took me 3 years to pull out of that deep debt and eventually I bought a new car. Also during that time, I started to do little things for myself. I love sports, so I joined the local softball league and made some really great friends. When I needed a break, I was lucky, because my Mom would take my son for a day or even a weekend. Then about a year and a half ago, i met a very sweet kind, loving man, and my life hasn't been the same since.

Yes, it took a long time, and though I still have to share a house w/my father right now (rents are unbelieveable where I live!), Tim and I are working on finding a place of our own. Not everything takes years to work out, some take only months. But I think that if you just keep on pressing on, not giving up, little by little you make progress and the sun starts to shine again.

JMHO

[Mariposa De La Luna]

I don't know how many of you are praying for me but its getting better already.

I'm going to have to get pretty low (IMHO) and swallow my pride to do it though but its possible.

Thank y'all so much!

I love each and every one of you! :heartthro :heartthro :heartthro

[Rævyn Cigány]

I could talk ad nauseum about how much the two of us are similar, SAHM, but I think I can sum it up in one sentence:

"Been there, done that, burned the t-shirt" :(

My thoughts and prayers are with you sweetie...

BB
Rae )0(