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View Full Version : What kind of upbringing did we all have?



MoonDust
April 23rd, 2004, 09:08 PM
so as some of you may or may not know I'm studding to be a teacher & to run a day care. So I'm sitting in class and they start talking about Baumrind's 3 parenting styles. And me being the nosey person that I am, I decided to ask the question. How were you raised?
I'm not asking age though that would be a cool way. I'm keeping it simple.

So there are three:
1) Authoritarian: This is a parent that sets the rules and the rules are NEVER to be broken. There is no bending. My home my rules. Curfew's at 11pm no ifs, ands, or buts

2. Permisive: There are practically no boundries. Curfew? wha'?

3. Authoritative: the paren has rules and while they're not to be broken they are not etched in stone. This parent is willing to talk to the child and bend the rules if the circumstances call for it. Curfew's at 11pm but if the child's with people the parent knows and she/he was asked permission to stay an extra 30 min, then curfew might be moved for this one case.

so? what'd you grow up with?

Flutterby_whispers
April 23rd, 2004, 11:10 PM
Interesting question :)

I grew up w/ a mixture of both. My father was very abusive so depending on what is mood was, would depend on how he would parent. I found it to be a very confusing and frustrating way to be brought up as you never quite knew where you stood.

Needless to say, due to this I was lead to study the different ways of parenting, reading all the various books from "experts" and what have you, as I absolutley did not want to raise my children this way. I sometimes slip, although for the most part I feel I am able to stay on track.

blueiris
April 23rd, 2004, 11:26 PM
My parents are Authoritative. For example, yesterday night i went out with my friends and my parents said I should be back by 10:15 (earlllyyy) but the friend who was driving me home could only bring me home around 11:30ish. So I called them and they said yes. It depends on the situation, naturally.

GryphonGirl
April 23rd, 2004, 11:54 PM
Dad was the Boss ......my Mom left when I was very small. Then my Grandmother was the caretaker for a few years, she catered to my dad. Later my dad married again, a woman from a different culture, and was the Boss there too....until my stepmother "grew up"

morrigen
April 24th, 2004, 02:27 AM
Both my folks were authoritarian...what they said went. period.

There was no room for argument, compromise or negotiation.

One of the resounding phrases froom my childhood was "Children should be seen and not heard'

I have *alot* of unresolved childhood issues.

morrigen
April 24th, 2004, 02:29 AM
Just thought....a good book on the subject is "They F*** You Up" by Oliver James.

Well worth the read :)

boerbabe
April 24th, 2004, 02:32 AM
I chose authoritive for both parents, simply because I was spoiled rotten and got away witha lot, but when they did put their foot down, I had to listen.

Mom never so much as slapped me, Dad did all the spanking. But Mom was always the real boss in the house.

MoonDust
April 24th, 2004, 02:40 AM
This is getting to be interesting. Don't know what I was expecting, but these numbers weren't it.


One of the resounding phrases froom my childhood was "Children should be seen and not heard' Yeah that line needs to be buried and stomped on for a while what a load!

I'll look into that book.

ArKane
April 24th, 2004, 03:42 AM
I had a very over protective strict up bringing. I was allowed my freedom in what clothes/tv shows etc that I was allowed to wear/watch within reason. That was ok I was never really one for trend anyway.

I was always ini bad by 7.30pm up until I was 12. I was allowed out until 10 - 11.30 on friday and saturday night never any later. If I got in trouble I got the strap for it because it didnt work sending me to my room because I would sneak out anyway.

I was never ever sheltered in life. Overprotectiveness and being sheltered are to different things. Both of my parents were authoritive and permisive. If I did something right I was allowed certain things, if I did something wrong I got stuff taken away. I parents raised me equaly. Both my parents were also the authoritarian because what they said went on certian matters.

I think the phase Children should be see not hear has some good points. Children these days have no manners. If I spoke out of line or in a adult conversation or butted in I got the strap. Not only is it rude but if you have no clue to what you are talking about hten dont say anything.

morrigen
April 24th, 2004, 06:26 AM
I think the phase Children should be see not hear has some good points. Children these days have no manners. If I spoke out of line or in a adult conversation or butted in I got the strap. Not only is it rude but if you have no clue to what you are talking about hten dont say anything.

I agree that alot of kids get away with more than they should....but you wouldn't have liked that comment the way my dad used it....If we laughed when he was in a bad mood we were in trouble...we never dared have an actual opinion on anything....it took me years to learn that I acttually had a right to voice my thoughts....dad had a very "Victorian Father" thing going on...we used to have to eat our meals with coins held between our elbows and our ribs so that we had our arms in the right places...

We were absolutely terrrified of dad...and I just regret that my main emotional memories of him during my childhood are fear and avoidance...when it should have been love and comfort...

Flutterby_whispers
April 24th, 2004, 11:03 AM
I think there is a difference between disrespectufl children and the opinion that "Children should be seen and not heard". your deff. right that many kids these days are spoiled rotten and lack responsibility or care.

I'm all for teaching children appropriatness, and respect. However I feel that the phrase up above is rude and degrading to a child & not the answer to helping our children to grow up respectful and aware..

Bainidhe Dub
April 24th, 2004, 11:10 AM
so as some of you may or may not know I'm studding to be a teacher & to run a day care. So I'm sitting in class and they start talking about Baumrind's 3 parenting styles. And me being the nosey person that I am, I decided to ask the question. How were you raised?
I'm not asking age though that would be a cool way. I'm keeping it simple.

So there are three:
1) Authoritarian: This is a parent that sets the rules and the rules are NEVER to be broken. There is no bending. My home my rules. Curfew's at 11pm no ifs, ands, or buts

2. Permisive: There are practically no boundries. Curfew? wha'?

3. Authoritative: the paren has rules and while they're not to be broken they are not etched in stone. This parent is willing to talk to the child and bend the rules if the circumstances call for it. Curfew's at 11pm but if the child's with people the parent knows and she/he was asked permission to stay an extra 30 min, then curfew might be moved for this one case.

so? what'd you grow up with?


#3 - My parents had rules, and we didn't cross them, but when I got in HS hell I had no curfew really - though I was either in or out by eleven. If I wasn't in by then, well, I'd better be staying with a friend was pretty much their policy - I was a fairly good kid and they knew all my friends, so no worries about me.

MoonDust
April 24th, 2004, 12:01 PM
I think the phase Children should be see not hear has some good points. Children these days have no manners. If I spoke out of line or in a adult conversation or butted in I got the strap. Not only is it rude but if you have no clue to what you are talking about then donít say anything.
There is a limit I believe. We should neither go to one extreme or the other. My mother raised/is raising us authoritative. She let us know how we were to comport ourselves when it came to talking and dealing with our elders. She taught us respect, but she never said "children should be seen not heard" It's damaging and degrading to the child to hear such things. You as the adult are basically letting the kid know that there is nothing he/she has to say that is worth listening to.
People criticized my mother for not spanking us and for thinking that we'd "tow the line" with just talks, but you know what? two of her girls are in college, the twelve year old has known since she was 5 that she wanted to be a pediatrician (she's already looking into volunteer work because she knows colleges look favorably towards that. She's already started to research what colleges she's going to apply to). Not one of us has ever been in trouble with the law or any other authority. And aunt just recently commented to us how the 12 year old was one of the most respectful polite children she knew.

Mindflayer
April 24th, 2004, 12:22 PM
My parents were...I dunno

My mom always tried to set rules, but I could manipulate her so well, they didn't even matter :p

My dad, had some rules, but I never really knew what they were, and I hardly got in trouble except for school stuff.

Then, at the same time, right about when I enter high-school, I realized something... they COULDN"T punish me.

They could ground me, yeah like I care, I spent most of my time in my room, so when I DID go out, they didn't WANT to stop me.

They wouldn't hit me, I was bigger than my mom, and the last time my dad hit me I backed him into a wall :p

The only thing they COULD do was take my stuff away (computer, TV, stereo), but me and my dad had a unspoken rule, he won't mess with my stuff if I don't mess with his (this came from the first time he tried to take away my computer...)

Mostly they just yelled at me, but I have this thing...I dont listen to yelling, so they found that ineffective too.



Now, I never did anything -BAD- (read: never got arrested or suspended from school). They trusted me, I just had a few problems (mainly with school), and once they realized it was better to listen to me and help me, rather than scream and try to punish me, all was good...

hastings1066ad
April 25th, 2004, 02:55 PM
We had some issues when I was small as they both tried to figure it out and overcome their own abusive upbringings, but they moved on and became authoritative. There were rules, but there were exemptions for good reasons. My Mom has the occasional consistancy issue where you're never quite sure what's okay, but on the whole they were/are great people and pretty decent parents.
-Hastings

Dextra
April 25th, 2004, 05:08 PM
My mother was very permissive. She just honestly didn't care what I did. :hrmm:

soilsigh aingeal
April 27th, 2004, 11:28 AM
I only had my mom. My dad lived in another state, I had rules, but my mom was pretty leniant with them.

MoonDust
April 27th, 2004, 04:01 PM
My mother was very permissive. She just honestly didn't care what I did. :hrmm:
how did that go with you?

Avalon
April 27th, 2004, 04:16 PM
My mom raised me by herself (Dad left when I was 10), so she had to be both parents. I listed her as "authoritative" because, although she had rules, she was willing to work with me on certain things.

Morr
April 27th, 2004, 04:23 PM
I didnt really have any specific rules.. it was just an understanding of do's & donts..
as for curfews - it really depended on who i was going out with and to where.. I could nagitiate with my parents, but if i broke the agreed time/rule/whatever - then id be in trouble..

my parents dont really know about my crazy experiences - drinking, sex, and all the other stuff teens like to do.. I usually did that when I was away from them - either when i was in the US visiting, and they were back here, or now that i live 2 hours away from them and they dont know when or where i go out or with whom.

Since I was about 17 - they dont really know who my friends are, what we like to do or where we go out.. Sometimes if they ask me about where im going out i give them a general idea - name of the place/club/person's house and people im going with.

They dont really ask for details and i dont give it to them... no because they are premissive, but just beause we dont really talk.. they dont know about my private life too much.. if they did know - they'd be pissed :lol:

Keith Dragon
April 27th, 2004, 04:25 PM
My Dad was military, and we're still trying to figure out his personality. But my Mother was real cool, and could talk to her about anything, especially paranormal stuff. My sister almost wen't into parapsycology.

They let me grow up free to make my own choices on faith. Today, my Mom's always curious what new things I've learned, and want's me to teach her. Currently, I'm learning the Tarot, be teaching her about it.

Dragon

MoonDust
April 27th, 2004, 05:13 PM
that's so cool.
I'm really finding the relationships between children that have both sets of parents really interesting. I only had my mom so I understand how dificult it is to raise a child by yourself. But when there are two people not only is there a 2nd pair of hands to help out but a whole nother set of opinions to work with.


Interesting

spooky
April 27th, 2004, 08:48 PM
my parent s were both very controling. they never hit me, just insulted me and ridiculed me until i creid and tried to kill myself. a lot of dangerous chaos, not spanking but true fist fighting. mostly i am angry because they drugged me throughout my childhood, and i think they are the cause of my semi-addictive nature. imagine growing up being told that you are inherently bad and flawed and that no one will love you unless you take these pills, without a perscription from a friend of a friend and never tell anyone about it. wouldn't you drink? but they pay for everything so i'm still living with them.
i'm sorry. i needed to vent.

MoonDust
April 27th, 2004, 08:54 PM
:hugz:
oh hun vent away. Some healing energy sent your way

SylverStar
May 1st, 2004, 10:58 PM
I was raised by my father and I did what ever I wanted, no rules whatsoever. According to him he raised me to be independant. Actuallity is I was a little brat.

FaerieGothMommy
May 2nd, 2004, 02:53 AM
My dad was deffinatly Authoritarian, he'd have his rules, but most the time they were stupid! Like, don't sniff if your watching t.v...... seriously!! We used to get so yelled at if we did things like that. Most the time we had to be in bed by 8pm - hell, the other kids were still playing outside at that time!

My mom on the other hand, i would say was Authoritative. She did have certain rules (obviously) but she would bend them alot & try and stick up for us when my dad was involved. If my dad was being real strict, my mom would change it on the sly for us. She also did like us in at a certain time, but if we were inside a friends house - then she didn't mind, usually if my friends parent gave her a quick call to say i was there.
She's still like this now though, so we are all grown up now, so i sometimes tell her off for being too soft & giving in to my sisters, as they have a tendency to take advantage of her.

charmedkisses1
May 2nd, 2004, 03:23 AM
Depends what day it was! :lol:

Muireannach
May 8th, 2004, 04:23 AM
I was lucky to have good parents who just strict enough :)

The trick to parenting is to let them have a bit more reign once in awhile but to let them know that you can pull the reins back when necessary :)

Kiya
May 8th, 2004, 07:09 AM
My parents were fantastic when I was a child, letting me be creative but instilling the virtue of manners etc, without being authoritarian. We had our troubles when I was in my teens (who doesn't!!?) but now I'm in my thirties, they are both great parents and wonderful friends. My mother did the disciplining, and my father backed her up. I remember being little and being a total pain one day, and my mother saying to my father "Mick! Speak to your daughter!" My Dad turned and looked at me and said "Hello, daughter", to which I replied "hello Dad" and we ended up in gales of laughter. I don't think my mother was best pleased at the time though!

rain_fallen_tears
May 8th, 2004, 07:14 AM
both my parents were permissive...in very good ways...I could watch R flick, pretty much from day one, and such things, I think it made me the person I am today, I've never done anything my parents would dissapprove of....and I assume its because I never felt the need to push the limits, because I was so free as it was...;)

Shadowolff
May 8th, 2004, 10:51 AM
My parents were both authoritative. When I was young my father was at sea and gone alot; don't to this day know how she did it, but my mother wasalways in charge and we knew it... but I have no memories of her yelling at us (or my dad either, at least until I was one of those awful teenage creatures...) and I was never, ever struck in anger by either of them.

Got my share of spankings, but they were well-earned and I always knew that, no sense of unfairness.

To this day, Mom can give me The Look :eyebrow: and I fall instantly into line...

They were always very loving, and devotedly spiritual people ~~ through their love I came to know and experience the love of my Lady Mother, with me always.

I'm very blessed. I've said more than once that if I could go back and choose the parents to be born to, of anyone I have ever known or known about, I would choose the ones I was given...

There were rules, and manners were very important, but they were always fair.

MoonChild78
May 9th, 2004, 01:12 AM
my mom was barly home and my stepdad got me at 13... it was hell from day one.

Gwyndara
May 9th, 2004, 08:09 AM
okay while my "dad" was a complete athoritarian with me now 28 and my sister now 23 he is now a permisive parent with his only son my brother now 14.

I don't know what changed, but when he became my dad at age 11 it was children are to be seen and not heard and you do not speak unless spoken to.

now with my brother it seems like what ever he wants he gets and he can say things I never would even consider saying to my parents.

Deranged Hermit
May 9th, 2004, 08:55 AM
I agree that alot of kids get away with more than they should....but you wouldn't have liked that comment the way my dad used it....If we laughed when he was in a bad mood we were in trouble...we never dared have an actual opinion on anything....it took me years to learn that I acttually had a right to voice my thoughts....dad had a very "Victorian Father" thing going on...we used to have to eat our meals with coins held between our elbows and our ribs so that we had our arms in the right places...

We were absolutely terrrified of dad...and I just regret that my main emotional memories of him during my childhood are fear and avoidance...when it should have been love and comfort...

Sounds pretty much like my father. I don't think it works well in the long run. I have social anxiety, my brother has been diagnosed with agoraphobia (sp), my other brother is an alcoholic, and my sisters are all on anti-depressants.

Earthy
May 9th, 2004, 10:28 AM
My parents didn't really give a stuff what i did,they were more interested in my brother and sister.I'm just grateful i had my grandparents to turn to.Unfortunately they have now passed away so it's back to square one really...

skatha_mare
May 9th, 2004, 08:13 PM
My mother was the "disciplinarian" (as she called herself), my Dad let her handle things until it got too far yet he had rules to be followed. I guess the main difference was approach. My mother was discipline now (in retrospect I think that she was a stone's throw away from abusive) and don't ask question, my Father asked questions and then disciplined. He earned the respect that he got, she demanded it "because I'm your mother".

Oops.. I'm showing my resentment again. The times I hate myself the most are when I'm like her.

sincerebliss
May 9th, 2004, 08:58 PM
Well..my parents don't really have to have strict rules..Such as curfew, they don't care as long as it isn't a school night because they know they can trust me. I trust myself and i don't put myself in situations that i know i cannot handle. I don't do drugs and i don't have sex... so really there isn't a need to have strict rules. Yes, there are rules, but they don't need to be forced on me because i give them no reason to. If i am running late, they don't really care...as long as it isn't a burden to them. My mom acts like i am a horrible child because i don't do the dishes and smart off occasionally(ha), but really they don't know how good they have it compared to many other kids my age! (lol)

Brynn
May 15th, 2004, 04:54 PM
Curfew? What curfew? Never had a curfew. Thank you mom and dad!

skatha_mare
May 15th, 2004, 05:23 PM
Curfew? What curfew? Never had a curfew. Thank you mom and dad!
My parents made up for yours. At the age of 20 my curfew was 11:00. I had already lived abroad for a year (alone), and I had a curfew. Luckily, when I met my husband (I was 21) they kinda (kinda="we'd like you in by 12") lightened up, but then I had just spent 6 more monthes in Europe.

Flaire-FireStar
May 29th, 2004, 11:38 PM
My mom was authoritative. If I wanted anything, it had to go by her. Most of the time, the rules were there, and I was to obey by them, although I can remember on several occasions when my friends and I were out late watching a movie and what not, therefore my curfew was extended.

My dad was permissive. I can remember several times, when my mom was away, that I just never bothered to come home at all. And my dad didn't mind. I assumed that he assumed that I was at my best friends' house. (Her parents never really cared if I was over there all the time. They were busy working, and so forth)

Cappy
May 31st, 2004, 10:02 AM
I kind of had weird parents. When my father wasn't being a compulsive lier or abusive, he was understanding and a bit permissive. It was real weird growing up because you were never sure if you got "good" daddy or "bad" daddy. My mother was strict when it came to going over to other people's houses for sleep overs. But asside from that, she was ok. Not to menssion the fact that she was pretty manipulable :D. Bedtimes were negotiated, and we had no curfews, as long as we told them where we would be, and when we'd be home.

Eowyn
June 1st, 2004, 11:16 AM
Dad is authoritarian... He's such a control freak... but my mom... she's an third choice of the types on the list (the kind that can bend on the rules, in case the sercomstances are right)

Antoninus
June 1st, 2004, 11:16 AM
Well, Im still completeing the up-bringing process, but my parents are usually very strict about some things, very loose about others. My dad is usually drunk but hes apathetic about most things and says yes to almost everything. My mom is a real tight-a**, she demands things be done when she wants and how she wants and I have never heard her say please.

Damien
June 1st, 2004, 11:27 AM
Both were pretty lax. But good parents. Never felt like there was anything I could not talk about with them.

Lilith79
June 5th, 2004, 01:04 PM
I can't answer the poll. My father was absent-divorce-and my mom was wishy washy. Sometimes you didn't dare cross her...other times she'd forget the punishment and let it go. How screwed up is that?

Pesha
June 5th, 2004, 01:12 PM
My up bringing was British......very proper and very prim. I am glad I turned out like I did. My folks were wonderful but way too strict.

BB
DS.

Tanya
June 7th, 2004, 07:44 AM
Authoritative here. Both are educators and scientists at heart, they loved us asking questions and they never tried to feed us any crap. They wanted us to be respectful of authority but not afraid to ask why.
once my mom slapped me when i was in the car and she told me to duck and i asked why... she pulled over a minute later to appologize.. someone was in her blind spiot and she was about to pass... she was very sorry, but told me.. "I always want you to ask why.. but how about not while we are passing a tractor trailor.. ok??"

My father was the same.. but he has a bit of an anger problem.. so asking why might get you a warm and rewarding discussion or a slap upside the head... i think he made me a mind reader...hehehe.. or maybe just a sniffer of moods....

now as a parent myself i see that they weren't perfect.. but they were sure trying hard.. and here i am.. i like me pretty much so i guess they did ok. Even though my daughter doesn't really understand explainations yet.. i tell her always why i'm saying 'no" and though she's only 1 even if she doesn't get the meaning i think she is getting "Mommy said 'no' and i don't like it.. but at least she's willing to hang out and talk to me about it."

Tanya

Linx
September 6th, 2004, 10:38 AM
I had very few *rules* from both parents. However, if I did not do what was asked of me, when it was asked of me by my step father (they weren't rules, more like... get me a drink, clean that up, go get your brothers), there was hell to pay.

Bec_W
September 6th, 2004, 10:47 AM
My parents weren't around for most of my childhood, so I voted "permissive" because it was the closest to absentee...

savannahrose44
September 16th, 2004, 12:41 PM
Both of my parents were authoritarian. I grew up in a strictly Mormon household. :G

HorseCrow
September 16th, 2004, 02:50 PM
Both my parents were authoritative. I had a wonderful childhood :)

Bansheekisses
September 17th, 2004, 11:48 AM
Strict! my parents didnt allow me to do much while i was growing up. Dated behind thier backs, snuck around. Went to the church they saw fit.. Till i realised that i was my own person, not thier slave. Moved out on my own when i was 17.. Completed highschool while working full time. Took a fulltime University schedule while working 2 jobs. Took uni courses and cooking and held down two jobs.
I never thought life should be simple. Because as soon as it got calm then things went drastically wrong, according to me.

The High Queen of Faerie
September 19th, 2004, 04:26 PM
well, i'm not so sure, but whatever it is it was a shit upbringing... fo sho.

Holly Ariadna
September 21st, 2004, 05:01 PM
Both are authoritative.

Terestai
September 21st, 2004, 06:01 PM
I had two amazingly different worlds:

At my mom's house (she was single for most of my early childhood), everything was very laid back. At my dad's house, my stepmom was incredibly strict and dealt punishment harshly for the most minor of things.

At mom's house, I could watch TV. At dad's house, my two sisters (stepmom's daughters from her first marriage) and I had to eat in the kitchen, away from everyone else, so we couldn't see the TV.

At mom's house, I could get snacks. At dad's house, we didn't even brush against the refrigerator unless we wanted to get hit with the belt.

At mom's house, I could go to bed whenever. At dad's house, it was a strict 9 PM bedtime.

At mom's house, I could chew gum. At dad's house, we'd get beat for that (which is why my mom would sometimes send me to my dad's house with gum so I could flaunt the rules).

At mom's house, I could turn on the lights if it got dark. At dad's house, we weren't allowed to turn on the lights without asking, and we usually weren't told yes until it was pitch black outside.

At mom's house, I could play wherever I wanted. At dad's house, we weren't allowed to come out of our rooms without asking.


So what would you call that...? Screwed up. :fpatricks I know it has to do with a chemical imbalance, but it's no wonder I became bipolar.

Ceres
September 22nd, 2004, 09:08 AM
i was the youngest of a large family and so while my mother, by the time she had me at 45 was very tired and my father as an alcoholic had too much of his own stuff going on to bother with me, i had lots of older siblings that kept me in line, encouraged me, and were there if i needed to talk. its something u dont see very often in this age of one or two child families, and its really too bad. course that doesnt mean i am having more than three lol
Theresa

Elistariel
September 30th, 2004, 12:17 AM
I chose authoritatie-mother, although it was my grandmother.

When my mom married my dad, he wasn't being himself, if you will. He turned out to be an abusive jackass. Sorry, but there is no other term for it. He used the F word in front of her "parents", and did things that shall not be mentioned in this forum. Dad was authoritarian, end of discussion. My mother left him when I was 7. So all this happened with me 1-7. If I didn't follow his exact rules for table manners, I ate standing up, or I didn't eat at all. If I did something wrong, I got the belt. I had to come to him, while he counted, however high he counted was how many times I was struck. I had bruises on top of bruises. If he wanted to, um, be with my mom they'd lock me in my room. They locked me in there a lot. I had a bedwetting issue until I was about 11 or 12. I believe my mother was too scared to do anything. Let's just say there was a straw that broke the camel's back when she left.
Mom and I moved to NC, I lived with her 7-9/13ish. She was very lenient. Too much so infact. I was always late when she took me to school. When I was 13 she gave up custody of me to my "Gran and Pop". Gran was the authoritative figure. Pop was the lenient one. If I wanted to do something or go somewhere, I went to Pop, and prayed he didn't tell me to go ask Gran. Gran did have her times when she'd yell and scream at me for something. She had a way of bringing up a moot point that was over year old into the lecture. I learned not to say a word, even if she told me to say something, or there would be hell to pay. She did slap me a few times, but none were undeserved. As a child, I was placed on ritalin. I don't have ADD... (slightly misunderstod child) I remember some of the hallucinations I saw at nite. She though I just had an overactive imagination. If she thought I was getting out of line, she'd tell me of a woman named Frances who lived in a trailer full of children who had to work hard, and didn't get to have any fun at all. That put me in line. :lol: All in all it was a rather good childhood, well 9 and up. I get along with that side of my family wonderfully. :woot:

Know Your Rights
October 7th, 2004, 07:19 PM
My former step-father was very authoritarian... my mom is authoritative... she likes to have things done in such a manner, and rules to be followed, but you want automatically get grounded if things don't happen as she says.

Tarbh Nathroch
October 7th, 2004, 07:25 PM
My Mom was strict but not unreasonably so, havenít seen my dad since I was three.

Threase
October 14th, 2004, 04:55 PM
My mom bends the rules sometimes, and so does my dad, but since I'm daddy's little girl, he bends the rules for me a LOT more.

Lilith Morgaine
October 19th, 2004, 04:11 PM
I was an only child to an alcoholic, bipolar mother.... what do YOU think my upbringing was like...

Black RiverWolf
October 20th, 2004, 01:03 PM
Mom was great strict but great. At her house the rules were inforced but not without understanding. at dads from when i was 7 to 15 (im going to be 23) my step mom took to the role of well drill sargent is the nicest thing to replace what i would prefer to call her. I hated to dress ups like a girl i prefered jeans and tee shirts. so what ever my brothers wore thats what i wore. My brother Nate and I were refered to as HIS kids or the F**king Kids and what ever we did wrong deserved a belt, board, metal spoon (the slotted kind) horse whip, fists. you get the picture. at moms we could play. with dad we could play with step mom we had to work cleaning her house which included picking up her sewing stuff and around her chair. we couldn't play in the house or our rooms so guess whos mess we were picking up while she sat in her chair and sewed. (she owned her own buisness and hardly went to work (so to say that she worked hard is not even a possibility) helping with the horses (which i didn't mind) no friends could come over unless you were her son or her daughter. my real brother got labled Daddys angel boy cause he helped dad out with the cars and in the garage. Her son complained and got out of it. she made him a shirt and made him wear for a week proclaiming so. yeah i wish mom had gotten us in the divorce. not dad

Azure_Dreams
October 27th, 2004, 07:17 AM
I grew up without a dad, so my mum was in charge but I was always free to do what I want