How do you get self-confidence?

[Pingmao]

That's my current issue of the hour: How the duece does someone with little to no self-confidence produce self-confidence? I'm a theatre major right now, and recently my professor commented that my low self-esteem and lack of confidence in myself is ruining my performance... I realize that he's right, but I don't know how to halt the downward spiral. Please help me!!

[Sylvan]

Have you tried reprogramming yourself? Positive meditations, affirmations... Not dwelling on the negative, just allowing it to flow away and be replaced by the positive... Surrounding yourself with people who are supportive of you as a person...

[Faeawyn]

I know it may sound hokie...but positive affirmations can really help. You can do them while sitting in meditation...chanting something like "I am beautiful, I am smart, I am talented" whatever you feel needs boosting. Talk to your inner self like you're convincing a dear friend. Also, during the day....just repeat to yourself in your head the same affirmation. But here's the tough part....you have to "convince" yourself. If you see a group of people, and you want to go talk to them, but you're shy....you would tell yourself "I am confident, I am beautiful, no matter what happens, they can not change that. If they don't see how wonderful I am, then it's their loss"...and go talk to them. You have to change the way you've programmed your brain to talk to yourself. Right now, your brain is telling you negative garbage. You have to reprogram it to make you feel positive and confident. Does that make sense?

*edit* crap :lol: I typed so much Kurgarra jumped in and said the same thing :lol:

[WolfMoon]

I have an esteem problem myself. (Also a major shyness issue...ack!) I get over it all by forcing myself to do things that the shy side of my personality is too terrified to do.

Works pretty well.

And when the esteem issue rears its ugly head now, I always think that no matter what, someone somewhere else has probably done far worse than the embaressing thing I just did, so it's okay.

[bellamandu]

come join our fight club.

ah crap i already broke the first rule! :lol:

[Sylvan]

Actually, joining karate or some other martial art might help...

[Faeawyn]

Actually, joining karate or some other martial art might help...
Very good point Kurgarra...I put my son in Karate when he was 11. He was being bullied at school. He took it for 3 years and it did wonders for his self esteem....

[mucgwyrt]

Wear bright colours - it forces you to be confident in yourself and hold your head up high, because you get so much attention. (Works for me anyway, I regularly wear a bright orange coat with a sunshine yellow skirt :lol: :lol: :lol: )

[Nighthawk]

Martial arts are good for the mind AND body. I agree.. have you done any workouts on self worth? What types of input do you get?

[SnowStar]

All I recall is this sudden paradigm shift in my life. I just woke up one day and didn't care anymore. Kinda like Office Space, lol. Seriously, though, as soon as stopped caring about what anyone thought about me, the self confidence just skyrocketed. Would you believe that people have actually described me as *arrogant*? I'm not; that's a misconception, but it's definitely a flip.

I suppose it takes a little bit of will power, but if you can just force yourself to not care and do some flat out crazy things, it can be downright empowering. Also, it's always good to have friends who'll back you up during your transition. Good friends are the best confidence boosters around since they'll love you no matter what. I'm lucky to have a few on hand, myself.

[Pingmao]

Cool. Thanks for the responses. I really appreciate all the imput I've been receiving! :)

[boerbabe]

I would recomend dressing yourself up for no reason, and doing nothing. Go watch people at the mall. Sit and preen. Smile at people when they walk by. Pretend you're someone else. Giggle at the trendy people that all look alike. Talk to soem old ladies. Have fun!

That failing, check the vending machine for a package of dehydrated self-esteem. Worth a shot, right?

[Ravensnest]

All I recall is this sudden paradigm shift in my life. I just woke up one day and didn't care anymore. Kinda like Office Space, lol. Seriously, though, as soon as stopped caring about what anyone thought about me, the self confidence just skyrocketed.

That is the key. Quit worrying so much about what other people think of you. When you do it will be liberating. And the drama class is a good start too. I was painfully shy as a kid, got into radio at 14 and the shyness went away. I was able to start out by simply realizing that as the dj "character" no one judged me the same as when I was just me. It gave me a safe place to just be. I didn't worry about looking ridiculous or saying the wrong thing because people expected it so it was okay and normal. Once I got feeling safe about it in "character" it just naturally fell into me. And as I got older I quit worrying about what others thought. Life is just too short for me to live it for other people. You have to live your life the way you're comfortable and then the people that matter will fall right in place beside you. The people who don't will go away and it will be okay that they do.

Just remind yourself everyday that you are a special individual with a lot to offer the world. And by that I mean YOU. YOU are the "lot you have to offer" You just being you will touch someone else and make the world a better place. So stand tall and remember you are the only you in the world and that in itself makes you special. :colorful:

[hastings1066ad]

After years of therapy (and tons of money) my best advice is to just decide that you're worth way more than anyone else will ever realize and act on that thought. Learn to play-- I love the suggestion of dressing up and going people watching and Macha's idea of wearing bright colors and drawing attention to yourself in a positive way. I know for myself, I had to stop apologizing (I think I used to say "I'm sorry" several hundred times a day for stuff that couldn't possibly be my fault) Find the things, and the people, that make you happy and feel good and keep them in your life, and some positive affirmations-- though possibly corny- are useful. And hey, it's always nice to know you're not alone. You're definately not.
-Hastings

[Dusk]

Along with the advice offered here, I'll add this. If you have time, join a public speaking group.

I joined the "speech team" in the 8th grade (age 13) and it was one of the best things I ever did for myself at that age. By the time I graduated from High School, speaking in publc was no longer a big issue for me.

[DarkDancer]

I would do the things that everyone suggested and...

This may sound trite, but since you are an actor, act self confident, watch people who are self confident and learn the way that they are and act that way. As often as you can. It should reinforce the other things you are doing. At least that's what I would think (hey, it workds with magick.).