View Full Version : Which Parent?

April 28th, 2004, 03:37 PM
Well... This weekend I have a kinda hard choice. A lot knows that it's Beltane on saturday and if I go after the weeks and all that Im going to be at my dad's - with NO chance on celebrating. If Im at my mom's I would have a chance to celebrate atleased.

And I dont really feel to go at my dad's because he kinda makes me following things:
discusted, confused, angry and all that.
And after everytime he has come to visit or anything I can rant on anything for like a day or two, and that is just for a visit on an hour.
He's driving me over and treats me as if Im three (honestly he does, have teachings on how to close a door without a sound or how to use a vacuum cleaner and so silly things)

And now there's another wierd thing (fresh from yesterday when he helped mom):

He's concerned about us because we laugh!!!!!

And we cant talk in normal tone, we need to whisper because he and his new wife arent use to have kids around.

But because of that he has abused me and my sisters both mentally and physically before Im scared for him. (he has done stuff like putting me in a soccer goal thing when Im afraid of the balls and he puts all force and tries to shoot the things at me, making me *less* afraid. Or he could yell at us and hold us by our throats and stuff) and I have been at mom's once before and he played 'sad dad' then and gave me guit.

I have talked to my friends and they think I should go to my mother if I feel so bad about being at my dads, but I just dont have really the strenght to it.

And we are probably going to church on saturday, which I hate, and IF Im going to my mom I will use that as an excuse to be there.

And when he plays nice and all that he still makes me sick but it becomes harder to say no to him then.

Who do you think Im going to go to and do you have any suggestions what I can use as an "excuse" to be at moms if Im there?

Amethyst Rose
April 28th, 2004, 06:47 PM
Sorry but your post wasn't very clear... I don't understand why you wouldn't want to go to your mom's. Going from your post it kinda seems like a no brainer to me... If it was me I'd spend as little time as possible with my dad, considering the situation is as you say it is.

April 28th, 2004, 07:28 PM
I don't think it's that easy though ~ it sounds easy, looks easy, by reading her post. But it's never easy, no matter how abusive a parent is, to choose between the two. Especially when your young ~

Having said that, I do feel that the right choice would be your mothers house. I'm so SO sorry to hear how your father is and it sounds to me like his new wife is more important than you are, that must sting something feirce :( Having grown up in a very abusive home, I can relate to a lot of what your going through and I understand how hard it is. It sounds like your father is unkind and then tries to win you back by making you feel bad ~ as hard as it may be, don't let him do that to you! Ignore him when he behaves like this and when you can, muster up the courage to tell him that the way he treats you makes you feel bad and you don't like it. I would also express this to your mother, she may know what's going on, but it might make things more clear for her if you were to sit her down and talk with her.

I'm sorry your having to deal with this and pray that you are watched over and taken care of during this time in your life. Believe it or not, trials like this, experiences, will benefit you later on in life, if you allow them to. They will make you an amazing woman! A strong woman!