Sibling Rivalry...adult style.

[Danustouch]

OK...I need a moment to whine like a little girl..."DADDY LOVES MY BROTHER MORE THAN ME....WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"..ok..I feel a little better tonight.

The last time I went to visit my parents, was sometime in the winter or early spring. Maybe around Easter. Anyway...i'm feeling pretty homesick these days...and it doesn't seem I'll get to see them for at least another month. My BROTHER on the otherhand, lives RIGHT up the road from them. He and his girlfriend just bought a house, which you can actually view from my parents doorstep. They get together ALL the time, or talk on the phone.even if it's only just to say.."hello". Well..Tonight was my fathers birthday. I had gone out to buy a phonecard just to call my Dad...and when I call...i can tell he's trying to rush off the phone, because my brother was there. My brother had just taken him out to dinner..and everything. I was pretty hurt. After about 2 minutes..my dad said.."well..I'll let ya go now..you're brother's here."...and I said.."Do you want me to call back later?" he said.."ummm..if you want to..but they might stay a little late, or we might go out to the bar later.". I could have screamed. I love my father, and I love my brother..but sometimes, I feel that no matter how old we all get, the favoritism doesn't end. My brother has never been able to do wrong in my fathers eyes (no matter that my brother is QUITE the rebel)..and my dad seems SOOO proud of him all the time! Even when my brother gets into a fight at a bar or something..my dad laughs with him about it ..and pats him on the back. Drives me NUTS!!!!!! My father, BTW..is NOT an alchoholic...don't want any of you to get the wrong impression. I don't know...must be that whole male bonding macho thing. But it ticks me off. So I guess that in SOME circumstances that whole sibling rivalry thing NEVER wears off.
:(

[Myst]

Wow, you only visit your parents that often? I visit mine at least once every 2 weeks and even then they are always complaining I never come home enough. They live about an hour away, and my SO's live about an hour and a half, so usually we just go on Sunday and visit both for a few hours.

Maybe your dad's hurt you moved so far away and don't visit much. I know if I hadn't visited my parents since Easter they'd be VERY upset....

[Yvonne Belisle]

I have the proof my father loved my brothers best. I have yet to see the younger one I've never met him and I have only seen the older one 3 times for a grand total of about 1 hour. Count your blessings and enjoy both of them for as long as you have them. You never know when they could be gone or an oportunity to tell them you love them could be missed. I live 1 hour 30 minutes from my stepmom and brothers and have yet to see them and I have not been invited. When I called to ask if I could borrow a tool that had been my fathers I was told that it was his legacy to my brothers I have nothing from him. I missed his wedding I missed his funeral and I was not there when he was dieing live each day as if it is the last and have no regrets. I am going to see my brothers as soon as I have a car and the only thing that will stop me from showing them that I love them is a court order.

[Danustouch]

Well..see. It is not my OWN choice that I don't see them. I live a while away..about a three hour trip. I do not drive, due to a phobia. My husband, works MOST weekends. He also experiences anxiety whenever we're not in "his" territory. (I know it's nuts.but its true.). So he tries to find excuses NOT to go see my family. It's a long and convoluted story of excuses that he makes, and reasons I can't go. But rest assured..I'm VERY homesick. I miss my family, my friends, my town, and who I used to be a GREAT deal. But..on the other hand, I love my husband. I made this choice, to be with him, and I can't just run away...ya know? It sucks, and it's painful. But I DO tell my parents how I feel about them. I keep in touch with them almost every day through email..and I call them at least once a week, sometimes more. I tell my dad how I feel about him...though it embarrasses him a little..(he's not the type to get all sappy-like.)..and my mother knows as well. We're all in all..a close family. I just wish we could be PHYSICALLY closer..as in me living closer to them :( .

[Myst]

I feel for you Danustouch. With all my father's health problems in the past years it isn't easy to live as far away as I do now. I could never move further, even though it would be so much easier for me to find a job in a big city like TO, which is twice as far away from my family.... *hugs* :(

[Yvonne Belisle]

Save up for a video camera or a web cam. If you can afford to save for 2 web cams get them and then you can be together while being apart.

[MammaStar]

I know what you mean. My younger brother is in trouble ALL the time. not just little things either. BIG things, like "jail time" big things, but the minute he shows up to say hi to my dad, which is really an excuse to borow $$$ or a tool or a car, my bro is the greatest person in the whole world and i'm the spoiled daddy's girl. Totally peeves me most times. Plus he lives w/my mom due to financial problems and the dope goes and gets a new tatoo on his leg but can't pay me back the $$$ he OWES ME!!! grr... Little bro's sometimes.

But, all that aside, he is my baby bro (27 yr old baby now) and we've been through a lot together. He just gets on my nerves sometimes! But I love him very much and I don't think the kid realizes just how much I do adore him. He's not a "touchy-feely" kinda guy. But deep down I think he knows.

[Lilu]

Originally posted by WillowRaven
Maybe your dad's hurt you moved so far away and don't visit much. I know if I hadn't visited my parents since Easter they'd be VERY upset....

Well some of us don't have that luxury :) When I chose to move to America to be with my husband my family weren't happy about it, but they certainly didn't make me feel guilty about it because that would be disrespectful to me and the choices I have made. I love my family, I'd love to be closer to them, but sometimes life intervenes.

As for favourites, it happens. My Mum never played favourites, which only made the three of us (my sibs and I) closer because we weren't singled out as better or less than the other. But my husband on the other hand has a terrible case of favouritism. Even though he is the "good child" his sister has ALWAYS been the favourite (and probably will be until his mother dies). It's sad, but whatcha gonna do? Hang in there, it's rough but you'll find a way through. Next time, maybe try calling him the day before his birthday when your brother is less likely to be around?

Bright Blessings
Lilu