The Altar of Fox

[Kitfox]

Thank you, my Lady, for being with me. For lending your imense humor to my life. No matter how serious I may get, you always manage to make me see that I'm being silly and waaaay to formal.

Thank you for understanding me, for being someone I feel I can turn to. I can feel you hold me in your arms at night and whisper me moonshine and dewy grass. Thank you for giving me eyes of wonder, that I may see beauty and art where ever I look.

You've blessed me sooo much that I can not speak it or write it. Your patience and love have given me strength even when I feel like I am too busy, too stressed, too scared, too weak, too small to be in your presence.

Thank you, my Lord, for your wisdom and gentle hand. I've always felt your fire in my passion for things and my pride in others. I'm grateful that you are in my life. I know you are already understanding and have forgiven me for this already, but I'm going to apologize any ways. I neglect you, I know, but please understand that I spent fourteen years with a cold image of you and am gradually realizing you aren't going to send me to hell or anything silly like that that they used to teach me.

Give me time, please.


I feel you both in my life and am so glad I can. Please bless me with your love and light always and never stop laughing with me and at me, you cure all my silly notions about formality and "the right way".

May I always dance in your footsteps, may I always sing with your voice, may I love with your passion, may I speak with your wisdom, may I live with your love.

So mote it be.

- Kitfox

[lednevir]

blessed be

[Kitfox]

I need a bit of help, Lord and Lady. I'm trying to make this commitment to myself, this attempt to lose some weight. I think obtaining a healthy weight is a reasonable goal. I should lose about thirty pounds but I know that the only way I will succeed is with your help.

I need strength and guidance to help me stick my plan. I need motivation to get me to the gym. I need wisdom to find beauty in myself, no matter what my size.

And of course, if she's avaible, I need the good ole' shopping fairy to help me not get discouraged as I try to find fun clothes that fit me well.

Thank you for always being there and for giving me a wonderful day today. May I always bless you.

So mote it be.

- Kitfox

[Kitfox]

Thank you for giving me certain people. My family, first of all, are fantastic. I've truely been blessed with my siblings and parents. My brother is the coolest person ever and Koda is just...amazing...we are blessed to have her in our family. I'm so glad my brother found her.

Also, I want to thank you for everything you've given me.

My morning has been wonderful, I've got a feeling this week is gonna be good!

May I always speak your wisdom with my words.

So mote it be.

-Kitfox

[Kitfox]

Thank you for my un-natural hair color. As much as I dislike the dying part, I love the red color and how it makes me feel sooo special! It suits me so well! Thanks for the coloring to pull off my favorite hair color and the green eyes to go with it. You really do think of everything!

I can't tell you how fantastic my life seems right now. Thank you for sparking your grace inside me. Thanks for smacking me upside the head karmically as well.

I've come to be your night child, Lady. I love staying up late after everyone else is asleep. Let this always be our time together, just you and me.

Thank you for Annie, too. I'm so glad that you gifted me with her. She truely is my soulmate. She listens and understands me and I don't have to think about what I'm saying with her! I just say it and it's cool. She's a wonderful friend, thank you for allowing her to come into my life!

May I always bless you in my words and thoughts.

Oh, yeah, thanks for boy candy like Matt Ward and Garett Allen. They make life so much more enjoyable!

All this Beltane energy is making me want a man!

-Kitfox

[Kitfox]

Was this a big thunk of the bandwagon you heard in the distance?

Yes, that would be me.

I haven't quite figured it out yet, the whole fitting everything into 24 hours thing. Bear with me, please, I'm trying as hard as I can. I try to remember but my lightblub upstairs is on strobe.

I need some job assistance. If you've been following, you know I'm trying to get a job at Target. I really need the money for college next year and I also need help with rationing my money. Basically, I need business sense.

Thank you for showing up in my life in mysterious ways.

May I always speak your praise.

- Kitfox

[Kitfox]

Thank you for giving me the oppurtunity to do something that I really care about while getting alot of excersize doing it! Exactly what I need! Money and exercize! Thanks for the help you've given me with losing weight, also with the whole walking thing.

I need some help. Please give me the communication skills I need and desire and also the heart to connect with people and get them involved!

I love you and your presence in my life, thank you.

-Kitfox

[Kitfox]

All my trappings of you have been packed away. My incense and candles are buried in a box somewhere, my tarot cards stuffed in my chest of altar tools. And yet, even though these things no longer line my bookshelf, your presence lingers.

Right now, at this very second, I can feel your hand upon my shoulder and my eyes not filled with my computer screen or keyboard, but some calm lake underneath the moon. I am almost to tears.

I can't stop loving him. I am so guilty. He is yours now, no longer here where I can touch him or hold him. Please, make me hate him. Make me never think of him again. I can't stand this.

I love him even now, in the arms of another man. I like Brent, enough so that I think I will come to love him. Already, I wait for his call like some simpering school girl, and yet, at night, my thoughts turn to Athens. How unfair it is to Brent, for me to constantly feel I am betraying a man who died.

I feel so guilty. Make me let go of him. I can not stand loving him any more.

Please, it will kill me if I must think of him forever.

[Kitfox]

He's amazing.

I haven't been able to feel like this for a long time. Thank you for Brent. He's so wonderful. Last night was....well, incredibly fun, and although, yes, I feel guilty and regretfull, it's less of because of the act (which was terribly fun and felt, well, just wonderful) and because I feel like I've finally left my childhood behind. No longer to I claim the title "virgin"! Which is a little exciting and a little frightening!

I felt (and feel) like I was safe with him, like he wouldn't let anything happen to me. He's such a teddy bear. I just feel the need to thank you so much. He's wonderful!

I do have to get up the courage to say "I love you" to him first, though.

I'm going to miss him over the weekend, but hopefully, when he comes back, we can have fun!

My guilt over the other one has diminished quite a bit. It helped that I talked to Brent about Athens. It brought a real sense of closure, especially since I think Brent understood how much it affects me.

Thank you, Lady and Lord, for finally letting me throw my inhibitions out the window and do something that I wanted to do without having to pick it apart. I feel like I understand you more now. Thank you.

May I speak you with my words, show you in my actions, and praise you in my song.

- Kitfox

[Kitfox]

You know, I really have no idea what's going on in my life right now. I'm so confused about everything.

But thank you, I realize what you meant that night. Just because it feels good and feels right doesn't make it so. Got it.

Thanks, and may my actions always reflect your nature.

- Kitfox

[Kitfox]

Hey guys, have talked to you through here for a while. I'm finally branching out, getting out there and finding you in others of this path.

I need your help tonight.

- Kitfox