To the Father

[Nighthawk]

I cannot understand what I am to learn here. I thought I had paid my dues, but not enough, I guess.
I am at the end of what I can handle. This much is true. I never wanted a divorce. I could not be told hoe worthless I was every day any longer. No child should have to go into a room and see their dad crying in the corner in the dark. I did it for over ten years. Was that not enough? Then, she wants more than I am making. Well, she is kicking the oldest out, so why the $$??? and the girl wants me, she does not want to be with a mom who tells her she is a slut and a bitch, at 12...come on..
It would have been ok, but my OWN family turned on me, and my own mother said I was a selfish ba%$#ard and I never helped anyone. really now? you think? Who invites you over each Sunday and cooks for you? and buys things like laptop computers for you... I mean, really. And my stepfather saying I just have too much hatred and anger in my heart sickens me. For I have never really been good enough. no, I have not. I see how I do not measure up. But, come on.... Oh well.. tomorrowis another day, damn it.

[Nighthawk]

And another day came.. less upset, but not much... People should watch how they treat you, and your family should back you, instead of a stranger, but it has not been that way with THIS family, ever. Oh well..

[Boogins]

Gordon... you know my experience of family, and you know where I find true family now. You reach out to people to help them again and again; now let me reach to you in the same sentiment. I know many will reach with me.

You are more than a friend, and you do far more than help. Please don't let them convince of anything else. They deserve nothing from you but your turned back. Turn away from them. Turn towards your true family and many friends.

If you need me, I am here.

[savannahrose44]

:hugz:

[Nissala]

:hugz: you do more for others than you may realize, please do not listen to what they say. I can say this as it is similar with some of my family members:hugz:

[Gala]

:loveydove

[Nighthawk]

Well, she wants a divorce... like I never saw that coming. I knew it years ago. I am glad I have been gone these three years. But, her conditions are too much.. I will not give 2100 a month or more... no, in fact.. Your own daughter cannot stand you because she does not respect you. And yo are kicking our almost 18 year old out...how can you count that as cjild support? Hmm, I say now in my heart, as I will say to you later.... You never, NEVER wish to try to get agressive with me again.. Those days are over, you b&^%h.. and you will not harm us any more.. Trust me, do not cross the line.. I see who you are and WHAT you are now... Sorry, not interested.. Here we go, hang on... It will be a wild ride...

[Boogins]

Riding behind you, my friend. :hugz:

[Earthy]

Riding behind you, my friend. :hugz:

My thoughts exactly nighthawk.:hugz:

[Rowan MoonDragon]

Riding behind you, my friend. :hugz:

Me too, Nighthawk. We're here if you need us. Much love, my friend. :hugz:

[Mab]

count me in, too, NH. Spirit will give you the strength you need. Never stop the fight for what is right. And we will fight with you. ((((((((NH))))))))))

[Gala]

She doesn't deserve any child support if the kids are out of the house. Is she nuts..

We're behind you. Take care and don't screw up your karma.... in other words, don't do anything rash....:)

[Nighthawk]

I thank you all.. there is so much to this story... odd, you people do not know me, yet know me better than she did in like 20 years... I sure wonder why...

[Boogins]

Because her heart was cold, and she didn't want to know.

We do. I know I do. :hugz:

[Nighthawk]

I am here again, asking once again for clarity.... for strength... and for a favor for a friend... She needs a change. She needs a second chance at life. She needs to feel like she matters. YOU need to show her these things are true. I have done and will continue to do what I can in this... every day. It is not a problem for me, but it could be easier for her... You know what she needs.... um, like today....?? I am humbled by your grace... and bow to the one who spins the Earth.... and.. thank you

[Hope]

blessings ((hugs))

love
hope

[MystAngel]

good luck, friend...If I knew how to do the "hug" smilie, I would....pretend it's here anyway.

[Valkie]

:hugz:

[Earthy]

:hugz:energy and strength to you NH :hugz:

[Nighthawk]

Thank you people... You are helping another MW member here on this one.... and she will appreciate it..

[Nighthawk]

I come here again, yes I hear the river...yes I smell the grasses and the trees, thank you... but, when I asked you, why did you not help? It was not for me, so.... If you were to ask a favor of me, I would grant it.... This person needs out of her hell.. is there a door I missed? Please answer... send wolf to show me, please?

[Earthy]

:hugz:

[Nighthawk]

Ahhh, and you indulged me once again.. It was not a selfish desire. I also see that she is posting again and helping others. THIS is the reason I asked for this. I knew the cycle could and would be carried on. I realize I should not trust my judjement. But I trust wolf and bear..the most. Wolf said it would be... I thank you. Perhaps she will have a profound meaning on someone here.... I thank you... and the river and trees are beautiful....

[~Jaida~]

:hugz:

[Gala]

:hugz:

[djmixon]

Blessings to you NightHawk. . .keep strong and know you are not alone.

Donna

[Nighthawk]

So, I come this far...for???? I mean, I understand setbacks, but total changes in a personality?? Am I missing something? Am I just too dumb to see..whatever is missing? I don't get it. Ok, the ball is not in my court now. Let her decide. Let her be happy. I will take what remains. Hmpf! Do not know what to say. Is there a silver lining?? I sure hope so. This is getting really old, really fast. I just hope and pray I do not lose my temper.

[Boogins]

:hugz: You know Kaye--she cannot play the good mother forever.

[Nighthawk]

I see it all now, so clearly. People still use guilt for power. It is fine, I will play along, for I can watch. So, she does not wish to be with me after all, does not think it will work. I guess this will have to be fine. I understand her worry about her mother. Oh well. You win some, you lose some. But, to lose the boy in the same week is really difficult. I do love them so, but I will not stand in their way. They have lives to live. I am not more important than they are. Now, I ask you heal my heart, that is all I ask.

[Boogins]

:hugz:

[Caffiend]

Energies sent to you dear Nighthawk! You are a very special person!! I don't know if there is anything I can to do help, but please PM me for anything!

[Earthy]

:hugz: you know where i am hun.