Here is today's news

[ladyrowan]

Hi-Tech Toilets.
In July, the Cheshire, England, company Twyford told a BBC reporter that it had racheted up the technology a bit with a model that automatically performs urine and fecal analysis for users and could then transmit the results to the family doctor via the Internet in the event the readings are out of line. A Twyford spokesman said the toilet could also call the local grocer to, say, send over some beans if the results indicated a lack of roughage in the diet. (Availability of the toilet is still several years away.) [BBC News, 7-11-01]


A 45-year-old man drinking with fishing buddies choked to death after trying to swallow a live, 5-inch-long perch (Viburnum, Mo., May); according to one of the buddies, the man's last words were, "Hey, watch this!"


Two Seattle police officers, each believing the other was a civilian driving a stolen cruiser, fired a total of 20 shots at each other in a standoff; fortunately, every shot missed.


A customer was apparently the victim of a prank in a Kmart men's room and had to be taken to a hospital for removal of a toilet seat to which someone had applied adhesive (Waterloo, Iowa).


According to the annual report on estimated accidents in the home, from Britain's Department of Trade and Industry and detailed in a June issue of New Scientist, three dozen people were sent to the hospital for injuries associated with teapot covers; about 165 for injuries from placemats, about 330 from toilet-paper holders, and about 13,000 from vegetables. However, sponge-related accidents fell from 996 the previous year to 787, and only 329 injuries from meat cleavers were reported. [New Scientist, 6-9-01]


Harvard medical school professor Dirk Greineder was convicted in June of murdering his wife, despite his unwavering explanation that the reason the couple's blood was all over him was because they both coincidentally came down with nosebleeds on the morning of the wife's death.



BB 8O

[Myst]

The one about the adhesive on the toilet makes me think thrice about public washrooms.

For awhile whenever we went to the mall my SO would take the extra packets of ketchup after we'd eaten into the bathroom to leave under the seat. Then we'd sit somewhere where we could see the washrooms and watch for the unsuspecting victim... 8O

[Rævyn Cigány]

Originally posted by ladyrowan


A 45-year-old man drinking with fishing buddies choked to death after trying to swallow a live, 5-inch-long perch (Viburnum, Mo., May); according to one of the buddies, the man's last words were, "Hey, watch this!"


Oh fer....LOLOLOLOLOL.....some people's children!!!

BB

Rae )0(

[Danustouch]

EEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP...this is very disturbing!!!! LOL

I'm going to go bury my head in the sand now..OK?

************mumbles about all of the insane or just STUPID people of the world**************

[ladyrowan]

Enough to put you off driving!
IBM said its "artificial passenger" dashboard device might be on the market in three years, thus helping to make highways safe from dozing drivers by, among other things, shooting a stream of cold water into the driver's face. According to a July issue of New Scientist, when the device detects drowsiness, it launches into jokes and other conversation and automatically rolls down windows, sounds an alarm and changes radio stations, among other things. [New Scientist, 7-21-01]


According to the account of police in Shaker Heights, Ohio, in June, Darryl Owens, 33, may be the least intellectually equipped bank robber of 2001 so far. He walked in to a Huntington bank as it was opening at 9 a.m. and approached a teller, demanding money in a threatening manner; the teller told him to go back and get in line with other early-arrivers. Owens threatened a second teller, who then pulled out a large wad of money and laid it on the counter for him, and Owens took about half and fled. Before police arrived, Owens walked back into the bank, laid the money on the counter, and asked for a $45 money order. The teller, thoroughly confused, told Owens to get out of the bank, which he did, leaving on the counter his entire stash. Police chased down Owens' car a few blocks from the bank and arrested him. [Sun Press (Beachwood, Ohio), 6-28-01]


More Penile Clashes With Nature: In June, two fishermen bled to death in Papua New Guinea's Sepik River after pirhana-like fish, attracted by the men's urine streams, attacked the source with their razor-sharp teeth. And two weeks later, a 63-year-old peasant squatting to answer nature's call in a field near Lorica, Colombia, was bitten on his penis by a poisonous Mapana-tigre snake and was rushed to a hospital (where he arrived with the snake still attached because he feared trying to dislodge it); he is recovering satisfactorily. [The Age (Melbourne)-AAP, 7-6-01] [Agence France-Presse, 7-5-01]


St. Louis Alderman Irene Smith, reluctant to yield the floor during a filibuster against a redistricting plan, took a restroom break at the podium, shielded by aides holding up a quilt.

A 39-year-old man was arrested at a store in Plainville, Conn., after surveillance cameras caught him three times urinating, apparently deliberately and inexplicably, on the back of a man's trousers. [St. Louis Post-Dispatch, 7-18-01] [Newsday-AP, 7-11-01] [Associated Press, 7-20-01] [[Hartford Courant, 7-19-01]

[Dria El]

Oh good gods!

:rolleyes:

[ladyrowan]

First, Do No Harm
A 30-year-old patient was awarded $2.1 million by a jury in Spokane, Wash., in January after evidence that neuropsychiatrist Donald Dudley (who died before trial) tried to chemically erase part of the man's brain and turn him into a trained killer.

And in June, a medical board in Ontario found psychiatrist Raymond Danny Leibl guilty of "disgraceful" conduct in treating a 53-year-old woman by disciplining her like a baby, giving her sodium amytal with vodka to improve her memory, and having her call him "Mommydaddy Ray."

And in May, a medical board in Oklahoma removed plastic surgeon Scott Gilbert's license after evidence of several lapses of care, including the use of wood screws and Superglue on patients.
[Spokane Spokesman-Review, 1-14-01] [National Post, 6-28-01] [Daily Oklahoman, 5-4-01]


Can't Possibly Be True
According to a June report in Britain's The Guardian, at least two schools in Belgium's Limburg province will begin serving a kind of very-low-alcohol beer in public school cafeterias beginning in September, in an effort to wean kids aged 3 to 15 from sugary sodas and fruit juice. [The Guardian (London), 6-21-01]

Singapore's Straits Times reported in July that the health office in Muar, Malaysia, had shut down a food stall and arrested its proprietor because he was boiling dirty underwear in pots with food, which he said, according to legend, improved the taste of the food. Said a health official, "This is an untrue belief and must be stopped." [Straits Times, 7-4-01]


Recurring Themes
In 1997 News of the Weird reported on two mid-career professionals (a nurse and a lawyer) who had made new beginnings as "pet psychics," who charged $40 a half-hour to help on relationship problems between owners and pets by conversing directly with the animals about their problems (even though some pet-clients are handled only by phone).
In a June 2001 story, the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel profiled pet "intuitive" Carol Schultz, 35, who does paw-readings and counsels pets that suffer trauma, such as the three-legged cat feeling guilty because he was inadequate at litter-box-burying, and the dog that felt trapped inside a cat's body (who "had some issues," Schultz said, because his name was Duke).
[Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, 5-27-01


Max & Mina's kosher ice cream parlor in Kew Gardens Hills, N.Y., was featured in a July Jewish Week piece, bringing readers up to date on the many offbeat flavors the store makes (all rich in butterfat but meeting various Jewish dietary standards): "lox," "corn on the cob," "horseradish," "peanut butter and jelly," "beer and nuts" and "campfire delight" (principal taste: baked beans). The store also once made (but has discontinued) a "broccoli" ice cream.
[The Jewish Week (New York), 7-27-01]




Least Competent Criminals

Richard S. Markey, 44, convicted in Hartford, Conn., of defrauding investors of $4.8 million, wrote U.S. marshals in April that he thought he had presented a strong case for his innocence and that therefore he wouldn't be reporting to prison as scheduled on May 2, but rather was going to a relative's place near Syracuse, N.Y., and that if he didn't hear anything more from the marshals, he would consider the case closed. He did hear from them; they looked him up and re-arrested him. During his trial, Markey had described himself not as a "person" subject to the laws of the U.S., but as a "sovereign," and besides, he claimed the charges had to be dismissed because the prosecutor had spelled his name in all-capitals on the indictment.
[Hartford Courant, 5-16-01]


Also, in the Last Month ...

Three men and a woman hoisted a homeowner's entire metal, two-car garage onto their pickup truck and attempted to drive off with it before abandoning it in the street when the structure broke (Detroit).

An Oklahoma State University research team said its sliced peanut butter (wrapped in plastic sleeves like single-slice cheese) would be on grocery shelves in U.S. test markets soon.

Political correctness hit India when authorities in Jammu and Kashmir banned the word "widow" for fear it would further upset women whose husbands have died in recent separatist battles (approved: "wife of late (name)").

A barroom gunfight was averted when an inebriated man, waving a pellet gun in his prosthetic arm, watched as the arm came off and fell to the floor

(El Paso, Texas) [ABC News, 7-23-01] [National Post, 7-17-01] [Reuters, 7-23-01] [Reuters, 7-27-01] [El Paso Times, 7-24-01]

[Earth Walker]

8O 8O 8O 8O 8O 8O 8O

Keep them coming, please. :D

[gunner]

"A 45-year-old man drinking with fishing buddies choked to death after trying to swallow a live, 5-inch-long perch (Viburnum, Mo., May); according to one of the buddies, the man's last words were, "Hey, watch this!"


that qualifies for a darwin award without doubt. perhaps the leading contender for this year

"A barroom gunfight was averted when an inebriated man, waving a pellet gun in his prosthetic arm, watched as the arm came off and fell to the floor "

and this one is a contender, better luck next time.