A freind that is on the edge

[Varda]

Ok im new hear but i need some help. I have a freind one of very few, he is also a part of this forum..i am not going to say his name because he would be very mad. But he has been on the edge of suicide for a while. He hates councilors and stuff. Wont see them...I am just worried...and would like some advice. PLEASE I am very affraid of what he might do!!

[Sylvan]

Ooh, it sucks to be close to a self-destructive friend. If he won't see a counselor, I don't really think there is anything you can do besides be there for him, let him know that he is loved, that he matters to someone. :hugz: for you both...

[Varda]

I just cant sit here though. There has to be somthing i can do!!

[Ahautenites]

What Kurgarra said. Be there for him, and tell him that you need him in your life and that there are very few good reasons to commit suicide, and his reason is not one of them. Ask him to think back to when he was just five years younger. And then ask him if he ever thought the time would go as fast as it did to get to this point in time. Then tell him that that's how fast the next few years will pass, too. Whatever dark place he's in right now is NOT going to be how the rest of his life will be. Adolescence is a brief, confusing time made worse by the world climate and his own living and social conditions. But it is NOT going to last forever. There is so much left to LIVE for. That first kiss. The first time he makes love. The first time he holds his daughter in his arms. The first time he gets promoted at work. The first mountain he climbs, the first really GOOD car he drives. The first time he really *gets* it that life is wild but beautiful and that while there may be low points, there are many more high points to look forward to.

[Phoenix Blue]

Ok im new hear but i need some help. I have a freind one of very few, he is also a part of this forum..i am not going to say his name because he would be very mad. But he has been on the edge of suicide for a while. He hates councilors and stuff. Wont see them...I am just worried...and would like some advice. PLEASE I am very affraid of what he might do!!
Is he younger than 18? If so, talk to his parents and to someone at his school--let them know what's going on. If he's over 18, then what Kurgarra and Ses said is about the best you can do.

[LadyTrinity]

I agree with everyone else.If your friend is not an adult yet, talk to their parents. I know your friend wont be too happy with them knowing but they might thank you if it helps! Good Luck :clapping:

[Rowan MoonDragon]

*hugs* there's really nothing you can do except keep talking to him. It's only a temporary solution that will nurt alot of people. No one will benifit from it. Keep telling him that things will get better. I speak from experience. I've been there many times and it DOES get better. *hugs* for you both.

[Dorchadas Síofra]

I agree with everyone else.If your friend is not an adult yet, talk to their parents. I know your friend wont be too happy with them knowing but they might thank you if it helps! Good Luck :clapping:

i dont know what you're going through, but i know how the opposite side feels. I can only imagine what i did, but what others have said is true..jsut be there and listen and tell them how much you care..unless he wants the help, there isn't much you can do. (unless he's the age of living at home, in which case theree are those you could tell)

**hugs** and **gentle thoughts** for you both. if you want anyone to talk to, I'm here.

[Blondie]

Of course, be there for him. Without a doubt.

But if he is under the age of 18, or still lives with his family (and you know his suicidal urges are serious) -- please, please, please tell them. Although he won't go seek help, perhaps an effort on everybody's part will make him wake up and smell the coffee.

All the best!

[Varda]

I havent seen his parents in a long time. I will try though...but any other advice is wanted.
:(

[xilfa]

it goes without saying that being suicidal is a rough thing. I go through bouts with it myself pretty frequently and the thing is... your friend is NOT himself. the person you love is burried under depression and self loathing. the tough love approach sucks for everyone involved. I know I hated it. they hated doing it and honestly it only made me hide my mental situation. so they thought it worked but it did nothing. too often thats the case. you can only do what you are doing now, love him, tell him so and be there for him. most of the time suicidal persons are so deep in it that thay don't even realize how devistated everyone else will be with them gone. you might tell him that. but don't make it about you, because it isn't. suicide that is about other people is called murder. I don't know if this has been helpful at all, but know I'm thinking of you AND him and I'm sending all I have in energy.

[Nighthawk]

I agree with Xilfa.....

[xilfa]

I agree with Xilfa.....

word to your mother, G.

;-)

[charmedkisses1]

I know stuff about this unfortunately, and I agree with everyone. All you can do is give him your attention, love and support. Show him he's worth fighting for!

[Varda]

Ok here is the deal. His parents hate me. :(

[charmedkisses1]

What'd they do??? What'd you do? Or why???? :foh:

[Ahautenites]

As I said in private, their hatred of you isn't important. You can work around their hate and still do what needs to be done. :)

[Varda]

First off his family is hardcore lutheran....I have told him not to hide what i am...I caused him to get home really late one night...my car broke down and i ended up almost in a crash due to the timeing of its breakdown. He came and gave me a ride even though he didnt have his licence only a permit..but he is actualy a better driver than me...my parents wouldnt come and get me. He took the car that was givin to him by his older sis and took me home...he stayed with me untill he thought i would be Alright....i think he got home very early in the morning. His parents think we were well doing other things....but they have expressed extream dislike towards me. :(

[Pesha]

Ok im new hear but i need some help. I have a freind one of very few, he is also a part of this forum..i am not going to say his name because he would be very mad. But he has been on the edge of suicide for a while. He hates councilors and stuff. Wont see them...I am just worried...and would like some advice. PLEASE I am very affraid of what he might do!!
This is very frightening for you. I can understand that dear. Be there for him and try and let him know daily that he is loved and cared for. But counseling is needed here. Shame his family has such hard held beleifs. How old is he? Energies are flowing to you and very much to this young man in so much pain.

BB
DS.

[emmunite]

Life is never an easy playground and when you're young it seems that it's the hardest. I attempted suicide twice. The most vivid time I will never forget was sitting in an apartment looking out at lake Michigan and a knife on the table and I couldn't decide between the two. I thought then that it was weak to keep living and it took stregnth to commit suicide. I then realized that I had it backwards. Weakness is giving in and stregnth is living. And there's no better way to raise my ire than to call me weak. Trite words of don't worry it'll get better never make it any better, it just makes it worse. Try to have him take things an hour at a time. Get through this hour, or if need be down to minutes if that's what's needed. Breaking things down can help from feeling overwhelmed with no options. Blessings to you and your friend.

Emm

[Varda]

Im just hoping he doesnt even try :(

[Romani Vixen]

I've been on both sides. You still havn't said weither he's over or under 18. You can tell him that if it's that bad and nothing can cange it that it wouldn't hurt to go see a councelor...

Keep the suicide hotline number handy.

And even if his parents hate you, if you go to them with something like that, would they really pay no attention.

And whoever you are... friend of Varda... (((((((((((((huggs))))))))))))

PM me if you need someone to talk to.

[Varda]

Thanks :D ...he is 17

[Varda]

I think he will be ok for now, but i worry so :(

[Romani Vixen]

I understand. In the end though, he needs to realise that being stubborn and not giving in will go way further. Besides, if he belives in reincarnation, who's to say that the next time won't be worse!!!!

[Varda]

I think he is may be a bit more stable now. but not to sure thank you everyone...still all help for me or him is apriciated

[Dorchadas Síofra]

still sending energy and **hugs** for both of you.