Yvonne Belisle
August 6th, 2001, 12:27 AM
Here are some words that should be added to the English language.
· Smealth: The ability to secretly leave behind body odor in an elevator to
be blamed on the next person who enters.
· Spillisecond: The fraction of a second in which one may recover a toppling
drink container before any liquid spills out.
· Afterblow: The compulsive need to review the contents of one's
handkerchief following a good nose blow.
· Blahrony: Sense of humor exemplified by inscrutable New Yorker cartoons.
· Frappuchinos: Coffee-colored dungarees perfect for hiding embarrassing
spills.
· Pestcard: Those annoying mail-in postage paid cards in the middle of
magazines.
· Realitosis: Public opinion that really stinks.
· Chadowboxing: Debating back- and-forth as to how to count a close
election.
· Proctocellular rage: Burning desire to snatch the cell phone from the guy
driving the SUV in front of you and jam it up his rear end.
· Spazzle: To perform an act of clumsiness so extreme as to cause onlookers
to burst into spontaneous applause.
· Jennamnesia: To be so drunk as to forget you're the president's daughter.
· Doglet: A dog so small it can be terrorized by an average-sized cat.
· Squee-squee: The curved line on a windshield caused by a little nick on an
old wiper blade [my personal favorite].
· Smealth: The ability to secretly leave behind body odor in an elevator to
be blamed on the next person who enters.
· Spillisecond: The fraction of a second in which one may recover a toppling
drink container before any liquid spills out.
· Afterblow: The compulsive need to review the contents of one's
handkerchief following a good nose blow.
· Blahrony: Sense of humor exemplified by inscrutable New Yorker cartoons.
· Frappuchinos: Coffee-colored dungarees perfect for hiding embarrassing
spills.
· Pestcard: Those annoying mail-in postage paid cards in the middle of
magazines.
· Realitosis: Public opinion that really stinks.
· Chadowboxing: Debating back- and-forth as to how to count a close
election.
· Proctocellular rage: Burning desire to snatch the cell phone from the guy
driving the SUV in front of you and jam it up his rear end.
· Spazzle: To perform an act of clumsiness so extreme as to cause onlookers
to burst into spontaneous applause.
· Jennamnesia: To be so drunk as to forget you're the president's daughter.
· Doglet: A dog so small it can be terrorized by an average-sized cat.
· Squee-squee: The curved line on a windshield caused by a little nick on an
old wiper blade [my personal favorite].