Man this all crazy need advice

[UlricDagon]

Hello all,

Here is my story......

I was what you would call an agnostic for many of years. I knew there was a greater being then us. When you see how perfectly we are created there has to be someone out there. This worked for me until I was 18.

At 18 I met what is know my wife. She was a preachers daugher and also a DEVOUT full Gospel church goer. I went there and I found the teachings to be "interesting" and beleive it or not I got baptized and thought this was the religion for me. I was 26

Well then......... I am now 28

About 2 or 3 years or so ago I have been having alot of "dreams" and visions of past events that I feel I was there. I found them very very weird and I found a continued distaste for the church that the wife and I are attending. I have been doing a lot of reading on my own and TONS of meditation and I think I have tapped into what would be one of my past lifes? Well I have now perclaimed "to myself" that I am a Pagan. I have even come in contact with someone that when I ran into them that I had seen them before and we did some past life searching and the similarities in our memorys are SCARY! I know that when this life pases im not going to a "Heaven" I am just moving on to another life. We are not humans having a spirital experiance we are spirital beings have a human experance!

Ok now the PROBLEM.......

1. VERY DEVOUT WIFE, I mean christian to the bone..... She even thinks that D&D is of the Devil

2. She has NO CLUE that I feel the way I do and the way she calls everthing that is not "godlike" Witchcraft I know that this news will CRUSH HER!

3. Her dad, grandfather and Great Grandfather where all preachers and she seems to think that one day I will become this great man of GOD! She says "well God will keep working on you"

4. If I admit this which I will have to sooner or later I just think my family will be destroyed?

Is there any one that has a relationship where one is christian and the other pagan that can offer advice.

On a seperate note if there is anyone that has any information on Groups in Michigan please leave the information here!

Thank you all for hearing my cry!

[Mooncrow]

First of all, I would not take this from an antagonistic stance. It's not a case of Wiccans vs. Christians or any other belief system. What your wife said is true, God(dess) will continue to work on you.....as long as you listen.

There is no need for this to destroy your family, but it can if you take the giant "I'm a Pagan" flag and plant it in the middle of your bed, the dining room, you father in law's church or even the garage.

I'd break into it slowly, noone cares for a fanatic, ( case in point to a smoker the only thing more frightening than a non smoker is a fanatical EX smoker) so don't proseltyze. Simply state that you are still seeking that which is Divine in yourself and are looking into other avenues and paths to fill the "God(dess) shaped void in your life.


BB

Mooncrow

[Earth Walker]

Merry Meet & Welcome to the MW Family. :sunny:

There are members here who could give you advice/answers
to your questions.
Come on up to the porch, Bluecat will be around shortly to offer
you some of his great lemonade. Have a seat on the comfy thingy,
and partake of the goodies too.


She who is NOT to be interrupted!

[Kaylara]

Merry Meet. She loves you... She should be able to understand this. As hard as it may be... I think that you should be honest with her... If not, things will only get worse...

Kaylara

[slvr_phoenix]

I don't think there is a good answer.

In an ideal world, if you told her, she would grow to accept it because she loves you.

In a real world, she may be in "love" with you, as she sees you, not the real you. In which case she won't accept it.

That's what happened when I told my mom many years ago. To this day the only way she can accept me is if I simply don't ever talk to her about my beliefs. That's okay for me because my mom and I never had the best of relationships anyway, so it's no skin off of my back for it to go one step worse.

For a marriage though, it'd probably be a mountain of a problem that would make things go badly. Especially if she's such a fundamentalist that she views AD&D as evil. **shakes head**

I think your best choice is to slowly start introducing pagany stuff into your life to gradually get her used to the idea. Maybe in five years of doing this she'd be able to accept it well enough.

If you flat out tell her now, she MIGHT take it okay, but it is a pretty slim chance and she probably won't. Sadly, love doesn't really conquer all.

I suppose at the very least, if she's so strong in her beliefs, you shouldn't have to worry about divorce...

[Andromeda]

I once had a boyfriend who was just Christian to the bone...like your wife. We were together a very long time. I considered myself a Christian when we met, even though I didn't go to church and I did really put any faith in it. Then I started looking into Witchcraft and Wicca. I knew he'd flip if he found out. So I asked a mutual friend for advice. Needless to say she told him. And he did flip. We had a long arguement "your going to hell" or "its a cult" and no matter how I explained it he wouldn't listen. And after hours of religious conflict we broke up and went our seprate ways.

A month went by, and I got a phone call from him. He loved me and this wouldn't change anything. He was sorry for everything he said and he begged me to take him back. We were together for another few months, and everything was great . But soon after on mutual terms....broke up. We were trying to maintain a long distance relationship at this point and it just wasn't working.

When she finds out, she'll probably be very shocked. And may try to convert you back. But If she loves you she'll except for for who you are. And it will all work out :)

Good luck

Blessings
Andromeda

[rheirene]

welcome,
I also have a christian spouse,
with him I took a step by step method,
In his terms I was weird when we met,so this wan't a great shock to him but he was a little scared of me jumping into it.
with your lady,I feel if she truely loves you she'll come around but be carefull,if shes truley as devout as that .Most christians I know will give up everything but there faith including their spouses.
The way I convinced my husband was to show him everything I found out {I was a big skeptic at first] I showed him the similarities and differences with the Bible,the thing I said more than the rest was the main moral rule 'do what ye will,let it harm none.I was trying to prove that it wasn't bad.If this all makes since I was scared but I also belive in being completely honest with your spouse,the relationship can't work with hidden facts or lies they always come out anyway,and then they feel betrayed.
But this is all my own opinion.good luck go with you in your desion.
nice to meet you
Blessed Be
Rheirene

[Dria El]

I don't have a spouse but I believe honesty is the best policy. And I have to agree with the slow route in this case. But know this... whatever you decide to do, we're here for you. There's lots of 'ears' here and we don't mind using them! ;)

Oh, and welcome to Mystic Wicks UlricDagon!!! Glad you decided to join us!

:)

[reanna]

:):):):) Welcome :):):):)

[Tigerwallah]

Merry Meet, UrlicDagon. I agree with almost everyone here on this matter. Take it slow, but be true to yourself as you do it.

Glad you found us :)

[bloodstone20]

maybe slowly introduce the concept of the Virgin Mary to her, then the maybe you can build up to the Goddess.

Welcome and Merry Meet! Here, have some Oatmeal and banana cookies.

[Myst]

I was once with someone who thought my beliefs were "wierd" or that I was "going to hell". He couldn't ever really accept my beliefs, wouldn't even let me talk about them, so we didn't last long.

I would suggest you be honest, she will be shocked but if she loves you you will work it out together. If not, maybe you weren't meant to be together - a harsh truth, I know. I tried denying my beliefs for my ex for months and in the end I realized if he truly respected and loved me he'd grow to accept them. Brightest blessings and good luck!