Incredibly Hurt & Decieved

[Blondie]

Tonight I went through my most difficult relationship experience ever. I broke up with my boyfriend of eight months. He returned my things, I returned his.

The relationship had many ups and many downs, it was definitely a rollarcoaster. The ride has ended, but I'm feeling more hurt and cheated than ever. Throughout the relationship he was very, very selfish but it this was the crown jewel.

In the past, my boyfriend had communcation issues and a couple of times stopped calling me, because he had "nothing to say." The second time he did it, it lasted up to a month - few calls, and we didn't do a single thing. We decided to stay together though.

Friday of last week, he started to ignore me again. I called, called and called and no answer. I was just out of surgury and needed some support and affection, but got nothing. I decided after Sunday it was over, if I ever got a hold of him.

Last night, through a serious of sneaky and random events I found out that he's been cheating on me with a fellow named Zack and that he considers Zack his boyfriend. This was the icing on the cake. I called him immediately and yelled on his answering machine that I wanted my stuff back tonight. He got the message and decided to MSN me a reply.

According to him, he could never explain and I would never understand. When I accused him of cheating (which I'm 99% sure of) he said his dad was dying of cancer. I did some checking up on that, and it wasn't true.

Tonight, he refused to be honest and stuck to his stories. I told him that I never wanted to see him, know him or talk to him again. He seemed totally beyond my feelings, saying: "I have nothing to say. You've already made up your mind."

And now I'm totally cheated and heartbroken. I know I'll eventually heal, but I would really like the truth for closure purposes.

Will he ever contact me again? Is he feeling guilty? Should I completly sever contact with him and his friends?

I'm not sure where to go from here...

[Hope]

((hugs)) i hope you find peace soon

love
hope

[Klucky]

People like that should have been aborted before they were even conceived.

I know it's a cliche, but time does heal all wounds. Try and forget all about that little butthead (I want to use other words, but, you know). He sounds like an extremely careless and immature person, especially with how he handled your breaking up with him. An MSN message? Please. What's he in? The sixth grade? And then trying to make you out to be the badguy because "his dad has cancer". Even if that had been true, it was still a terrible time to say it. He just can't take any responsibility.

Bottomline: I've been through very similar experiences and I promise it will get better. :hugz: My PM box is always open.

Edit: Sorry, I never answered the questions you asked (my main intention for replying :) ). I'm sorry to say he probably doesn't feel guilty. He sounds like the type who really just doesn't care, despite how he may have acted towards you in the beginning of your relationship. I don't know exactly why he did such a thing to you, but I do know he's a worthless piece of crap. Do NOT make any attempts to contact him or his friends. I don't think you'll ever get answers out of him, so there wouldn't be anything good about talking to him.

-Klucky

[Blondie]

Thank you both, very much.

I've been through quite a few craptacular breakups too, I know in a week or so, I'll be buzzing like a bee again.

[Klucky]

I hope it all gets better for you. :hugz:

-Klucky

[Autumn]

If he cheated on you I suggest an STD workup. Chronic lying does not bespeak somneone who pactices safe sex!

[Klucky]

If he cheated on you I suggest an STD workup. Chronic lying does not bespeak somneone who pactices safe sex!

Ah, I didn't even think of that. *nods*

-Klucky

[Flar's Freyja]

I read an interesting quote today taken from Dante's Inferno, saying that there is a special circle in hell reserved for those who commit the greatest wrong of all - betrayal.

Give yourself some time to heal, and you'll know what to do. In the meantime, hugs and healing coming your way.

[Blondie]

If he cheated on you I suggest an STD workup. Chronic lying does not bespeak somneone who pactices safe sex!
I'm setting something up next time I work, as I work right next door to a sexual health clinic.

This is still so unbelievable to me. Like 8 months were nothing. It feels like my best friend is gone and has been a fraud.

[Isil Darkmoon]

I'm so sorry. I don't have any wise words or sage advice, but I can offer a "gods, that REALLY sucks, I'm sorry he was an ass", my sympathy, support, and a listening ear if needs be.

[morrigen]

People like that should have been aborted before they were even conceived.

I know it's a cliche, but time does heal all wounds. Try and forget all about that little butthead (I want to use other words, but, you know). He sounds like an extremely careless and immature person, especially with how he handled your breaking up with him. An MSN message? Please. What's he in? The sixth grade? And then trying to make you out to be the badguy because "his dad has cancer". Even if that had been true, it was still a terrible time to say it. He just can't take any responsibility.

Bottomline: I've been through very similar experiences and I promise it will get better. :hugz: My PM box is always open.

Edit: Sorry, I never answered the questions you asked (my main intention for replying :) ). I'm sorry to say he probably doesn't feel guilty. He sounds like the type who really just doesn't care, despite how he may have acted towards you in the beginning of your relationship. I don't know exactly why he did such a thing to you, but I do know he's a worthless piece of crap. Do NOT make any attempts to contact him or his friends. I don't think you'll ever get answers out of him, so there wouldn't be anything good about talking to him.

-Klucky

*nods*
I agree with the chicken...Klucky has it summed up pretty well.

I'm sorry you had to go through this...

[Golden Princess]

Sorry hon, it must hurt like hell, deceipt is worse than betrayal in my book.

Here are some affirmations for you (I must be the queen of affirmations)

I am not alone, I am one with God and the Universe
I forgive myself for having let others hurt me

[MoonWeed]

I know this may not comfort you much, only time will do that..But maybe its for the best.And you calling to end it is even better.Obviously this person was not going to tell you that they didnt want the relationship anymore.I can see that you care deeply for this person,wouldnt it be better that they truely cared for you also.This person does not care for you on the same level..People dont not call because they have nothing to say,that is a lame excuse.And the MIA after surgery is jsut insensitive.
I know this hurts like hell right now,but trust in everyones words when they tell you this too shall pass dearest...
Now you will open to receiving the love from a person that truely deserves it.
Many big hugs to you...

[IvyWitch]

I'm so sorry you had to go through that hun. :hugz: Like Kluck said it will get better with time, and it's pretty obvious he doesn't really careabout anything but himself. I say don't bother trying to contact him or any of his friends.
But whatever you do don't pick up a rebound man. :p

[HorseCrow]

Sorry to hear that... saying goodbye is so painful and there is nothing that can make it painless. But remember, you hurt because you have a heart, because you have feelings. And however horrible it is right now, it will get better, you will smile again and you will find love again. *Big hugs*

[Blondie]

Again, thanks all for your advice and love.

I know I'll be better in a week. This is just first time I've ever been decieved on this level, so yeah, it sucks. But I keep telling myself every dog has his day.

[Boogins]

Hey, my friend, I'm so sorry. All the prior advice is true and I'm glad you're getting checked out.

And while I know it doesn't make up for the comfort and affection you didn't get after your surgery... :hugz: Here's hoping for better things and better relationships in the future. If you need to talk, PM me or email me. I'll be here. :loveydove

[Madmartigan]

Me too. I'd be glad to help however I can. I'm sorry that he hurt you so badly. :hugz:

[LadyTrinity]

Move on hon. Dont waste your life with a looser. Find a guy who will appreciate you! :hugz:

[samiaminsane]

:boquet: *sends positive energy*
I wouldn't attempt to contact him... It would just drag out the break-up and hurt more. I've been with my fair share of jerks also... in fact, ran into one yesterday... sigh.... It's best for you to leave things as they are, for you probably will never get an honest answer or any sort of closure from him. We are all here for you! PM me if you're feeling down.

[soilsigh aingeal]

:hugz:

[Rowan MoonDragon]

Oh, Sweetie! I'm so sorry. He's definitely a butt head. Completely sever the ties. Chances are if yu got back together at a later date things wouldn't change and as far as friendship goes....he'd still do the same thing. You're better off without him. (((((Blondie)))))

[Avalon]

I don't know what to say...:hugz: :( :dis:

[WrathofCirce]

Oh Blondie, I'm so sorry. I went through a very similar relationship that ended for a second (and last time) last August, but it took me until March of this year before I could manage to sever all ties. All I can say is RUN. Even if you may not feel ready to give him up completely, run. The longer you remain in eachother's lives the longer it will take for you to get over him and move on. I was not ready to end the relationship with Satan. I still felt I loved him deeply when it ended, but in the end it was all for the best. He's pulling his crap with another girl (he was claiming to be in love and yet trying to get me back into bed until I kicked him out of my life in March). People like that, who are not honest with themselves, can't be honest with anyone else. Take care of yourself and make this time count. There were valuable lessons that you needed to learn here. At least, that is the way it was for me.

[Cappy]

All I can say is RUN. Even if you may not feel ready to give him up completely, run.

I second that! :yikess:

You know that saying "love is blind"? Well it's true. You were in a relationship with this guy for 8 months, and I'm sure there were some good times. But, from what I read in your post and speaking as a third party observer, for the love of Gods DON'T go back to him!!! Don't keep seeing someone who dosen't want to see or talk to you for months at a time. That's not love! It's anything but! It's cruel and disrespectful and frankly, your better off. So before you even THINK of going back to him, tell yourself that he never realy loved you in the first place, and you have the right to a partner who respects you, who wants to be with you and most important of all, one who loves you. Not a cheating, lying, retard!!! :bastard:

[bellamandu]

id just sort of go with the flow and let things sort themselves out on their own. if you worry about it to death then you'll just end up making yourself feel worse and eventualyy blame yourself.

but then again, i do have a tendency to hold things in a bit too much, so do be sure to get things off your chest. just dont overwork yourself about it.


er..... is this making any sense?

hope things get better.

[Blondie]

Everything makes sense, thank you all for your support.

The relationship is definitely over. He's been deleted off of my MSN, his friends blocked as well, so out of sight and out of mind. Time to heal for me, and time to wallow in the filth he created for him. What goes around, comes around.

Once again - you guys rock.

[aluokaloo]

Oh blondie! That really sucks honey, its gonna be tough for quite a while. :rubhead: :huddle: