Never say Never

[MerrisHawk]

Ever do something you swore you'd never do? How did it affect you? Did you feel like you let yourself down?

I did it. I submitted all the required paperwork for child support. It's been nearly 15 years and I did something I swore I would never do.
When I first escaped my ex, he told me he'd take the kids from me to get a welfare check. I blocked him. Then he quit his job and told me he'd work under the table for the rest of his life so I'd never get anything from him. (Little does he understand I already have the 3 best parts of him) I never said he was smart, just really angry that I didn't cave in and come back.
Long story short, I told him I'd take care of myself and the children and didn't need his abusive influence. He vanished, I got to work. I swore I'd never apply for support, I didn't want anything from him. I'd had enough.
I've discovered that he's been bragging about his credit to his friends is AR. I worked to pay off those bills and he's using my work to buy some hot rod car on credit.
I keep tabs on him for my peice of mind. He's got a job down there. I can't stand the thought of him using me again.
I gave up on never and turned in the papers. By next month his credit rating is below dirt and his checks will be garnished. He'll probably quit.
I feel good that he'll be giving up that hot rod to help pay for his children's school fees.
I feel bad because I went back on my word to neverask that F***Tard for anything.

[bellamandu]

look at it thisway, you're not asking him for anything.

you're just making sure he pays his asshole tax. :T

[LadyTrinity]

Your children deserve that money. Its not play cash its take care of living expenses cash. It will help you out soo much you would have wished u got it sooner! Don't look at it as u asking ur ex... look at it as he owes it! All fathers owe it.. or mothers.. depending on the situation. Children didnt ask to be born and they didnt come with wads of hundreds.. he made them with you he needs to be contributing too! Even if it is in $ only! Good Luck!

[Cappy]

This is very, very, VERY close to home for me (not as the ex-wife of a jack-@$$ but as the daughter of one). Having pride and dignity is one thing, but letting him off the hook is an other. If you need the money from him, take it and don't feel guilty about it. No matter how bad of a father he is or a husband he was, he had a part in making those kids. If he doesn't want to be a part of their lives, fine. But he still has to pay.

[MerrisHawk]

look at it thisway, you're not asking him for anything.

you're just making sure he pays his a$$hole tax. :T
:rotfl:

I like that. Wonder what his "get even" will be.

[docdoo]

I have to agree with the common concensus on this one...You're not asking him for any favors, this is the money he owes your children! It is not a favor to expect someone to help share the responsibility on children that HE helped to created. Shoot, it's technically not even YOUR money, it's theirs...you are simply entrusted to spend that money in the best way you see fit.

No hon, do not feel an ounce of guilt or lose a minute of sleep by thinking that you've asked him for a favor. You've finally asked him to pay your kids, which is what he should have been doing all along.

Best wishes to you Merris and congratulations on giving your kids everything they deserve!

[bellamandu]

hehe.

[Lunacie]

I have to agree with the common concensus on this one...You're not asking him for any favors, this is the money he owes your children! It is not a favor to expect someone to help share the responsibility on children that HE helped to created. Shoot, it's technically not even YOUR money, it's theirs...you are simply entrusted to spend that money in the best way you see fit.

No hon, do not feel an ounce of guilt or lose a minute of sleep by thinking that you've asked him for a favor. You've finally asked him to pay your kids, which is what he should have been doing all along.

Best wishes to you Merris and congratulations on giving your kids everything they deserve!
That's the truth. Well said.

[~*Ginger*~]

Good for you & your children!

Another perspective...
My Aunt raised 4 children of a 'dead-beat dad', unfortunately, her sons think it's ok to do their own children the same way.
Wonderful example of a fatherly figure...

[SummerGemMoon]

Hoooray for you!!! My husband pays his child support every week and believe me, his son and his ex need that money just to stay afloat.
Even though your ex probably won't see that you need it to help with the kids, he'll still pay and you'll know you did the best you could for your kids. You'll also always have the satisfaction of knowing he didn't get that car. HEHEE

[MerrisHawk]

I'd like to rub his nose in everything our little family has accomplished but I don't think he deserves to know.

[HorseCrow]

I have to agree with the common concensus on this one...You're not asking him for any favors, this is the money he owes your children! It is not a favor to expect someone to help share the responsibility on children that HE helped to created. Shoot, it's technically not even YOUR money, it's theirs...you are simply entrusted to spend that money in the best way you see fit.

No hon, do not feel an ounce of guilt or lose a minute of sleep by thinking that you've asked him for a favor. You've finally asked him to pay your kids, which is what he should have been doing all along.

Best wishes to you Merris and congratulations on giving your kids everything they deserve!

Hear, hear!!

[Dallin]

Two parts to this post:

Firstly, I agree with what the others have said here: you did the right thing. It's certainly not fair for him to use you like that, and I personally wouldn't have any problems with doing that.

Secondly, I understand what you mean about going back on your word. I did so a few months ago on something that was important to me, and it took a long time for me to get over having done so. I still don't think I did the right thing, but I've come to accept that even though it wasn't, I DID have reasons for doing so, and those reasons in themselves were good.

Dallin

[Pesha]

You did the right thing sweety. No looking back, no what if and no saying never. You are within your rights to have child support. Take it from one who got stiffed on it no matter how hard I tried to get my ex to pay up. You did the right and the best thing.

BB
DS.

[the_red_dragon]

I HATE DEADBEAT DADS!!!!! poeple like that should be taken out in the wilderness in the fall so we can all go out hunting. A good experience for the whole family!! Hey look mom, I bagged me a real big *ss *ole!!! Sorry about that but an abusive man or woman whether it be phisical, mental or sexual cause me to go insane. We are all human and should be treated with respect and dignity!
Sick pieces of garbage like that should not exsist. even with all of mankind's advancements MATURITY CANNOT BE CREATED!

Once again I apologize for the rant.