Homeschooling or not?

[Lilu]

I saw in the Discipline thread that MidsummerEve mentioned homeschooling and being a stay-at-home-mom. So I thought I'd start a new thread to ask a few questions of my own :)

I'm going to be fortunate enough to be a stay at home mum when I get around to having children, and the topic of homeschooling has come up in our conversations.

I like the idea of homeschooling because you have control over what they are learning to a certain degree, and with one-on-one attention you can address any learning difficulties also. But my concern is for the social abilities of children who are homeschooled.

I'd be interested in hearing from parents who homeschool, or people who were/are homeschooled themselves as to their thoughts on the matter, particularly in socialising with other kids their age. Also, I'd be interested in hearing pros and cons about homeschooling from people who prefer to send their kids to school vs. homeschooling. And all the rest. :)

Dazzle me! haha
Lilu

[Arduinna]

Hey,

Interesting questions. I know most people are concerned about social issues and home schooling. For me one the main reasons I homeschool is for social reasons. Now this is all JMO, just wanted to say that right off the bat.

I feel that homeschooling has been a great thing for my daughter. She has plenty of time to play with her friends after they get home from school. So she is not missing out on friends or socialization. I also think she sees the real world more, rather than being in a school all day. There are many places she can go to learn, and they don't have to be restricted to a few field trips a year. I feel she gets a more hands on education. She also sees how what she's learning applys to her life. How many times do we say "when am I ever going to use that" in school? Why are they teaching me this?

She also has more self directed learning, she isn't limited to 1 hour a day of mythology, for example. Sometimes she really gets into a certain topic, she can spend as much time as she wants learning it. I've found it all balances out in the end. If she spends alot of time on reading, then she gets bored after awhile and spends more time on math. Just her learning style, but it all gets cevered .

I also like the ability to leave certain negative aspects of school there. We don't have to worry about school shootings, bullying ect. I know her friends very well, and their families. Most other parents of 11 year olds I know (not our friends) have problems I've never encountered. I don't think all of it has to do with homeschooling. Alot of it is my hands on approach to parenting. My number one goal is for her to know who she is and feel comfortable with herself. She has alot of choices.

Homeschooling isn't just about education, it's a parenting lifestyle. At least to me.

I think I go on enough. Great topic.

[Lilu]

Originally posted by MidsummerEve
I also like the ability to leave certain negative aspects of school there. We don't have to worry about school shootings, bullying ect. I know her friends very well, and their families. Most other parents of 11 year olds I know (not our friends) have problems I've never encountered. I don't think all of it has to do with homeschooling. Alot of it is my hands on approach to parenting. My number one goal is for her to know who she is and feel comfortable with herself. She has alot of choices.


I have to admit, the first thing that made me consider homeschooling (remember I don't have kids yet, but I like to plan in advance LOL) was the safety factor. If we ended up moving back to Australia I would feel better about sending my kids to school (depending on the area - there's still plenty of bullying), but my confidence in American schools to keep kids safe is slowly going down the drain due to the shooting aspects.

Another one of the reasons I was considering homeschooling was for the very fact that I AM Australian. I want my kids to know about MY country too because it's way cool :) hehe (I'm already starting my library of books on Australia :) ) so if I were homeschooling I could slip Australian history and such into the curriculum as well.

I have a question regarding your daughter. Did she ever go to school? I ask because I'm curious how you introduced her to other kids her age. School was where I picked up the majority of my friends who have been life-long pals. I would hate to deny that to any of my kids. On the other hand there must be after-school things that you could get kids into, and homeschooling groups of people etc. How did your daughter make her friends? (I love having someone to ask about this stuff!)

Lilu

[Arduinna]

Hey,

My daughter has always been homeschooled. I haven't really introduced her, as such, to anyone. Not in a planned way. Her friends come from our neighborhood, our family and friends. The way I see it is this. I gravitate to people who I have things in common with, share beliefs with. So it is natural that my daughter would be friends with their kids.

We have had minor problems with certain neighborhood kids, behavior wise. I just feel those things are life lessons. She knows what is and isn't acceptable, and that their are consequesces.

Also as far as friends are concerned. My daughters best friend goes to a private Catholic school. She rarely socializes with the kids from school. They live all over town. Another of my daughters friends goes to our local elementary. He used to live next door to us, but they moved. He still goes to our local school, because his mom wanted him to stay there. She can do this because grandparents live near the school. So he sees different friends after school. He doesn't have the same relationship with his school friends.

My daughter has friends of varied ages. Just like we all do when we grow up. IMO, school sets up artificial feelings of not being to able relate to people of different ages. She is not concerned with someones age. It works real well. Since they all are different ages they all help each other in unique ways. If they were all the same age, and going through the same issues, who would bring insight into a situation?

Childhood today is not the same as it was when I was a kid, in the 60's and 70's. We are a busier society as a whole. School is different.

I think it's great that your starting a library of OZ books for your kids. And the freedom to include special topics in homeschool is a great advantage.

[Lilu]

Originally posted by MidsummerEve
My daughter has friends of varied ages. Just like we all do when we grow up. IMO, school sets up artificial feelings of not being to able relate to people of different ages. She is not concerned with someones age. It works real well. Since they all are different ages they all help each other in unique ways. If they were all the same age, and going through the same issues, who would bring insight into a situation?

I grew up in a VERY rural area. Maybe 120 in the area. And most of them were out on farms and such. While I would NEVER go back, I kind of think my kids will miss out on the kind of community spirit (everyone knows everyone) that I grew up with.

There were TWO other kids my age. Literally. LOL One of them (the girl) became my best friend (we were born 4 days apart in the same hospital) and we are still the greatest friends even though we don't see each other anymore because we live in different countries. The other guy our age was also very close to us. There was just three of us in our grade all through grade school up to high school (where four local grade schools combine to make one high school - errr... high school is grades 7-12 in Oz). Then we were 13 in the class!!! haha

As such we ended up socialising with kids in the grades above us and below. And I have always gotten along better with people older than me - most of my friends now days are at least 10 years older than me (people my age tend to frustrate me, lol)

You know, I never really considered kids meeting in the same neighbourhood. LOL Which I'm sure you can understand when I say my NEAREST NEIGHBOUR was 1km away, growing up. And they didn't even have kids! Lucky I had siblings, haha

Lilu

[Arduinna]

Hey,

Living in a rural area is very different than town. We have only been in town for about 4 years. When my daughter was a baby we lived in the sticks. Not as rural as your childhood. We lived about 10 miles from a no stoplight town of 1200. There were no kids her age on our dirt road then. But we did have family, but they weren't real close by.

I can see why you wouldn't have thought of neighborhood kids as a source of friends. There are also community sources for friends. I know some pagans go to the Unitarian Universalist church. But all us solitaries, or noncoveners don't have the same source of like minded parents. In fact, I don't have any pagan friends. And I'm very in the broom closet, except with my sister. But that's another topic altogether.

Wow, 13 in your highschool class, seems you already know what it's like to have a small closeknit community, lol. An asset for sure. It is so different in todays American schools. With each grade so large, and middle schools and High school seperate, there is less interaction between different age kids. Yeah, in the old days siblings were a kids best friend. You always had someone to back you up, talk to about your problems and share the work load, lol.

So you wouldn't go back? I miss the country so much, but with my husbands job it is unlikely we will get to go back. At least before he retires. I miss decent produce, the community feeling, agh don't let me get started. I'll be so depressed.


If your looking for more info on homeschooling I highly recommend Mothering magazine, and any book by John Holt.

[Lilu]

Thanks for the suggestions.

I wouldn't go back to where I grew up. If there were a chance of finding decent jobs where my Mum lives current (10,000ppl) I would consider going there, but it's a town going nowhere sadly. :( It's hard to know where to go anymore. But that's life?

Lilu

[bluecat]

Here is something I thought you would fine interesting:

http://www.homestead.com/barbooch/PaganHomeschool.html

Blue :cool:

[Myst]

I once meant a woman who said to my best friend (who at the time had a baby and was *not* going to homeschool) "if you care about your kids at all you'll homeschool". I remember my friend getting very, very angry, very, very quickly.

Yes I recognize that homeschooling can be good for some of course! But I don't plan on doing it either, just because I already can't stand being home all the time myself.

The benefits of knowing what is being taught and not having to worry about school shootings are still there. There's a big misconception that homeschooled children don't get socialized but obviously that's not necessarily true. I think if you have the time and patience it is a brilliant idea. Good luck with it!

[Hope]

We homeschool...my daughter is an 8th grader this fall and my son a 5th grader this fall. He never has been to public school and she was taken out at Christmas her 1st grade year. We have NEVER had a socializing problem...we do have a house full of kids, friends, neighbors, cousins, my friends kids, 4-H kids, and more. Part of my agreeing to HS was that we would make sure they were involved with friends! It really has been pretty easy and I am surprised that often the public school kids don't really have that many friends at school. They sit in a class of 30 but not all 30 come over, sleep over (are friends) you see where I'm going...
Also clubs are great and in many states HS kids can take band, sports,and other electives with other kids at the public school. Of course there are also YMCA classes, scouting programs, campfire kids, 4-h, soccer, base ball etc. etc. It is a big job! but we think it is worth it. Also my daughter has even been allowed to attend public school dances with her friends, a very big deal when you are 13. I am just glad she wanted to go with her girlfriend so the didn't have to GO with boys. Just go stare and giggle at them....but that...that is a whole different topic.

Blessed Be!

Hope