I need help for my stupidity

[dragenfly]

Ten years ago I was just getting into the craft and I was still learning A LOT. I was so stupid and me and my friend did a spell, on my now husband. We didnt cast a circle or anything for protection. I didnt even know I had to. Anyhow it was a stupid love spell. Karma has come back to bite me in the you know what. I have dwindeling feelings for him. He is the love of my life and we are married with two beautiful kids but now for some reason my love for him fades while his gets stronger. I think I really muffed up. How can I fix this? Is there a way?

[luckydenise88]

First let me say that i'm glad you believe in karma (now, there's nothing wrong with not believing in it, however i am a firm believer in karmatic reactions) Also, You were not "stupid" just ignorant, uneducated. it may be a good idea to cast a circle and ask forgiveness from the Higher Powers (i.e. the Lord and Lady or who(what)ever you pray to. ask forgiveness for performing a spell w/o protection when you were ''ignorant" and performing one on another without their permission. Love is a very powerful emotion and a very real thing however the doubt of loving one or not loving one can be absolutely frightening. Yes people fall out of love, but i would first advise you to analyze what is making you feel these feelings (guilt about the spell? etc.) Remember he is the love of your life and not many people meet theirs as you have. He must be your love for a reason. And if i may say so without offending you, I doubt that a "beginner's" spell performed in an unprotected environment would have worked anyway. So remember that love is a beautiful thing and you have it with your husband (who loves you very, very much) I hope this helps.

[Shanti]

In my observations in my lifetime, people often do just get bored in their relationships. One thing that I found to be true sometimes, is the following:

You dont know what you have till its gone.

My 2 cents.

[Taliesyn]

YOu know, ten years of marriage has it's own magic, and I don't think that there is a spell that could last that long. try to think about the time you have together. I am sure that if he still loves you, you can work it out. It sounds like you want to.

[samiaminsane]

Maybe you're just becoming bored with the relationship (that'll happen from time to time). I'd work on different ways to spice things up, re-connect or maybe even try spending a little time apart. (you know that old adage, absence makes the heart grow fonder.) As for the spellcasting, just ask for some forgiveness for your stupidity at the time, that you were younger and unaware of how things worked.

[dragenfly]

In my observations in my lifetime, people often do just get bored in their relationships. One thing that I found to be true sometimes, is the following:

You dont know what you have till its gone.

My 2 cents.
I surely know what I have and I wont lose it or at least I will do everything not to. Thanks so much.

[dragenfly]

Maybe you're just becoming bored with the relationship (that'll happen from time to time). I'd work on different ways to spice things up, re-connect or maybe even try spending a little time apart. (you know that old adage, absence makes the heart grow fonder.) As for the spellcasting, just ask for some forgiveness for your stupidity at the time, that you were younger and unaware of how things worked.
Definately some boredom, I will work on that too. Thanks.

[dragenfly]

First let me say that i'm glad you believe in karma (now, there's nothing wrong with not believing in it, however i am a firm believer in karmatic reactions) Also, You were not "stupid" just ignorant, uneducated. it may be a good idea to cast a circle and ask forgiveness from the Higher Powers (i.e. the Lord and Lady or who(what)ever you pray to. ask forgiveness for performing a spell w/o protection when you were ''ignorant" and performing one on another without their permission. Love is a very powerful emotion and a very real thing however the doubt of loving one or not loving one can be absolutely frightening. Yes people fall out of love, but i would first advise you to analyze what is making you feel these feelings (guilt about the spell? etc.) Remember he is the love of your life and not many people meet theirs as you have. He must be your love for a reason. And if i may say so without offending you, I doubt that a "beginner's" spell performed in an unprotected environment would have worked anyway. So remember that love is a beautiful thing and you have it with your husband (who loves you very, very much) I hope this helps.
The time you took to read my problem and offer me some sound advise really helped me. I have big guilt issues about the whole thing. I did tell him some 9 years ago as a first step of evening out the karmic scale but I feel more is needed. Thank you for your help.

[dragenfly]

YOu know, ten years of marriage has it's own magic, and I don't think that there is a spell that could last that long. try to think about the time you have together. I am sure that if he still loves you, you can work it out. It sounds like you want to.
We do, we have our own magic. From the first time I saw him I knew it and then we spoke and I was certain. This is THE ONE. You always wonder where you will meet your great love and it was so awesome when I met mine. Thank you for your insights and help.

[Ladyvi]

as far as fixing it .. no not really.. the spell seems to be still in effect and has to play itself out. as far as dealing with your situation my suggestion is this.

start dating again. find each other again. renew the spark . it could be there just buried beneath the drudgery of day to day life. go dancing in the rain.. go and spend the night on the beach . something to bring life back.

but if he has been with you this long . more than likely the love is true. love has a way of lasting. love is the truth. maybe the spell worked or maybe it is love anyway and it was meant to be.

[{Tigress}]

Could it be that your love isn't fading but simply changing?

I don't get chills down my spine when my soulmate and husband of four years calls me at work anymore, and I don't find myself lost in a giddy daydream about him 100 times a day. But, that doesn't mean I don't love him anymore -- it just means I love him differently.

Just another possibility for you to consider. :)

[dreamingmystic]

I agree with the others. It sounds like you have your soulmate. After 10 years of marriage and kids, the responsibility of it all and the routine can get to you at times. Second guessing yourself, especially in light of the guilt you felt regarding the spell happens at various times in a marriage. It sounds like this was meant to be even if there was use of magic, it doesn't mean that you are or were working under false pretenses.

[Superwizardsearch]

. How can I fix this? Is there a way?

Jim:::We are all stupid compared with higher beings. But we all have the same ground of consciousness as higher beings, so we all have the potential to become truely wise ourselves. With a lot of work, of course. Magically, if we focus on being stupid, that will set up energies that will make it harder to learn. When we see ourselves as stupid, we should convert that in our minds to something like being learners. One can convert by focusing attention on the feeling of being stupid, and then with an internal kind of push, try to reshape that to a feeling of being a student, or however we want to put this for ourselves.

Notice that the attempts to learn magic are already attempts to move towards knowledge or wisdom. We will make lots of mistakes along the way, but the very mistakes will teach us something. So trying to learn but making natural mistakes along the way is just the opposite of being stupid. When a mistake is part of a learning process, that is the wisdom of trying and learning, not stupidity. Real stupidity is not trying to learn anything and letting oneself just deteriorate.

On the boredom mentioned, one can search in one's mind from time to time for feelings of interest. At first, this might not work with serious boredom, but one can start with times when one is neutral or slightly bored. One can look around in one's consciousness for a flicker or hint of interest, and when one finds it, one can focus ones attention on that flicker of interest until it comes forward and becomes stronger. Then, once one can do that, one can add interest to anything one wants. For example, you could think about your husband and add feelings of interest, using the method you had learned, above. Eventually, if one wishes, this can become a habit, so one just naturally becomes more interested in things.

On the love, one can deliberately increase one's love for a husband, for the Lady and Lord, etc. This is the same as raising interest, above. First, one searches in one's mind for flickers or hints of love. When one has found one of those, one focuses on it, and focusing on it increases the strength of that feeling of love. Once one has learned how to do that, one can do it while thinking about one's husband, wife, partner, etc. and in his/her presence. This will also become a habit so one will begin to naturally love him or her more without actually having to go through the practice.

Jim

[dragenfly]

Could it be that your love isn't fading but simply changing?

I don't get chills down my spine when my soulmate and husband of four years calls me at work anymore, and I don't find myself lost in a giddy daydream about him 100 times a day. But, that doesn't mean I don't love him anymore -- it just means I love him differently.

Just another possibility for you to consider. :)
A good poss. indeed, I miss that tickle when he called. I just feel everything being so ordinary now, with the kids and his everything is so mundane nothing is enthusiastic anymore well to me anyway. Him well he get the tickles just watching me comb my hair. I feel bad I dont feel the same enthusiasm ya know.