is it bad?

[bellamandu]

ive been thinking.......

is it really that bad to be cynical? i mean, if you bring yourself down to the extent where your expectations are so extremely low that you couldn't possibly be dissapointed, what would be the harm?

i've been getting to the point where, every time i get the smallest glimmer of hope, for pretty much anything, i have to smack myself in the face, and keep on smacking myself until i wake up and realize it isnt going to happen. i have to realize that nothing good will ever come of my life, i'm just going to sit here all my life on this damned computer and write meaningless rants on a message board in which i know absolutely no one in real life. i have to accept the fact that i'm probably not going to get married and use the wedding dress that my grandmother finished not even two weeks before she died. the dress that she put her entire life into, and never knowing that i more than likely am never going to wear it. i have to wake up sometimes and realize that all my dreams, my ambitions, the few things in life that make me happy, are just that, dreams. that nothing will probably ever come of them because they are so painfully unrealistic. I have to realize that everything that makes me happy, well, really the one thing i have left next to my computer that really makes me happy, that can brighten my day even if i am having one like today, i have to realize that things like that aren't made to last. and that they wont.

i guess this is what happens when a dreamer at heart gets all of her dreams crushed in a period of about 2 months. this is what happens when a dreamer becomes cynical.

[Sabrina]

Well, I don't know if it's "that bad" to be cynical.
I guess I'd look at it more as sad, really. For if you've had enough encounters that went awry that over time you came to expect the worst then you've been disappointed or let down in some way far too many times.
Bracing yourself against possible let downs, however, is no way to live.
There's balance in there, my friend. You can learn to see the signs of those who would hurt or disappoint you. And then there's always the surprise.
But, I would rather be surprised by someone I thought was going to live up to what they said - than never again feel the element of trust and a joy in that trust in my life.
And I think that's what being 100% cynical means...
never having trust, faith or feeling the joy of trust in your life.

I recently had an experience of extreem let down. I'm supposed to take some samples to the BIG international trade show (INATS) in Denver, Co the end of this month. A friend of mine that I also work with promised me that come hell or high water - he would DO my samples.
Um...yeah, I leave for Denver on June 25th. Um...he called TUESDAY to tell me the samples were not done.
So that's what? A huge portion of my INCOME for the next year?
(stop ranting SAbrina lol)

talk about someone letting you down.

BUT
even though it hurt and I was gravely disappointed. I rallied. Trying to get these samples done here locally and I don't want to harbour bad feelings for this guy. Perhaps he did the best he could?
Point is this.
Life is harsh sometimes. People disappoint us. We have to learn to take it on the cuff and get over it.
And the next time someone Promises me something - I'll get it in writing and not have a verbal.

My lesson was to become a more asute biz person. I dont have to spend the rest of my life expecting OTHER people to let me down. That would just hurt everyday and not allow for Joy.

I pick Joy and the occassional let down will just have to run its course......
I say be joyful. Expect the best from people. When they disappoint you...roll with it. Pick yourself up and plunder on.....
life's about challanges and HOW you choose to face them.

I'm goin down a'fightin!
cheers
Sabrina

[Æon Flux]

I'd say it's bad to be cynical in one way, you lose out on so much.
I have had my dreams crashed, smashed and stampeled upon most of my life.
I've been let down by people time and time again, but now I actually have people who has built up my dreams again, are supporting them wholeheartedly and people who I could trust no matter what.

Sometimes we have periods in our life when cynisism is all we have, I was there, and believe me, there is nothing worse then a cynical 16 year old girl, at leasts that's what the people around me thought.
But now I'm not cynical anymore.

I guess that I'm saying is after rain comes sunshine, and no matter if you want to hear it or not, I'll say it.
:hugz:

[bellamandu]

its pretty funny.

there is one half of me that beleives what i said earlier.

and there is one half of me that wants to believe what you just said. i say want because most of the time that first half of me has more control than the other. and the funny part, is the fact that i dont choose to let this first part of me tae over. it only happens when i have, (i guess you would call it) a reason to let this happen to ome. when something happens that triggers this.

i used to be the type of person where i believed this, and i can say that i still am that person.

but there is this other part, that half. well, its not even a part of me i dont think. i am a dreamer at heart, but then there is this......thing.... that comes up behind me and says, "you know what, bella? everything you believe in, you ever have believed in, everything that makes you happy, everything you have ever lived for.... its all bs!"

and its sort of a smack in the face.

[Sabrina]

But it's NOT BS, Bella - that's the point.

think on it for a moment...and let it allll sink in, my friend.....

If the Great dreamers of all ages did not dare to Dream....to hope and to live to fight crushing battles of those who would put them down.....

well, we'd not be sitting in America typing right now.
(oops that me in America for sure...not sure where You are *wink*)
No one would fly in Airplanes....there'd be no amazing movies to watch...no plastic surgery for kids who've had their faces hurt in wrecks...they'd be no poetry...no love songs....
we'd be a world without hope.

you gotta live with hope. You gotta live for your dreams....
what you WANT or need out of life...is NEVER and I mean NEVER BS..................never.

Stay true to yourself and your hopes and dreams. Dont let a bunch of bastards that have hurt you in the past ROB you of love and hope and JOY in your life...
hold fast.

The best is yet to be!

<hugs>
Sabrina

[Shanti]

I just believe that goals should be within reasonable levels and dreams within reach. I would like to move and live in a house instead of a trailer and have more than almost acre of land. I dont dream of a big house on a hill over looking a spawl of land 100 acres big. I hope and dream of a shack on maby 2 or more acres. Perhaps a barn thrown in. If someday I get more than an old shack! Great! If not, I didnt expect to anyhow.
I might never get that but I have to be happy with what I have meanwhile.
It took me 38 yrs just to find a mate that wouldnt treat me bad and let me be my own person.
I try to be happy with the little things in life and hope for better but if not, at least I have a roof and a family. (My kids and mate).
I also look at it from the point of veiw that I am lucky I dont live in a country where the people are always getting bombs dropping on their heads.
To me I aint got the best of what I would like but I sure aint got the worse that life could dish out. :)

[Tsuchimaru]

Bracing yourself against possible let downs, however, is no way to live.


That's how I've been living. I don't like buying things for myself, because they can be easily taken away. I don't drive, because I fear of getting into and accident. I don't want a girlfriend, because eventually she'll die. So you see, because of my worrying, and my pessimistic and cynical view on everything, I'll NEVER be truly happy.....

[samiaminsane]

I understand, because I have felt like that many times before. There comes a point when hope flies out the window. If we never had dark points in our lives, we wouldn't realize the beauty of the wonderful times that occasionally grace our presence. I won't chastise you for being cynical now, just accept what life gives you and know that it will soon pass over you. One of my favorite things to do is writing lists (yes, I am a list freak). Write down the things you hope to accomplish in the next month, year, lifetime, etc..... You will be amazed when you look back on that list later in life as to how much you have changed. I will send you positive energies to help you in your sad times. Oh, and lots of :hugz:

[PeleRising]

I used to be a sunshine and rainbows type of person. I used to believe in miracles, that fairy tales do come true and that the truth prevails in the end. I used to believe if you treated others the way you wanted to be treated that nothing bad would happen. People used to call me a pollyanna ... and it wasnt always flattering.

I have learned that even if you tell the truth... even if you give it your all... that bad things happen. I have learned that people you trust, can and will turn on you in a heart beat. I have learned not to trust my feelings... and to not trust in forever.

I have learned that its not best to see good in everyone.. cause there is dark as well. I have learned that just because you love a person doesnt mean they care for you. I have learned that if you see the worst possible scenario... you will never ever be surprised by how bad it gets... and sometimes you are surprised by how good it actually was.

Do I think being cynical is bad? No... I think sometimes its the only way to stay sane!

[SummerGemMoon]

The post makes me very sad, I must say. How can you possibly go through life without hope of what's to come? How can you possibly know what this life has yet to offer?

Just because you're on your computer now and for the foreseeable future, doesn't mean that something won't happen to change that. You also cannot depend on a 'miracle' to change your life. Everyone is responsible for their own happiness. That means if you think you're life is terrible, then it will be. If you're hopeful that today is going to be better than the last, then in might be.

There are lessons to be learned even in the worst of circumstances. It is possible to see the good in people and still understand that you could be hurt by this person. You have to decide if you're going to let others dictate how you conduct your life or your emotions.

To be cynical all the time robbs you of positive energy, not to mention the people that have to be around you. I work with people who have to drag everybody down and I have been one of those people that has to drag everybody down into a pit of hopelessness. I'll never be that way again when all the effort it takes to be happy is just believeing that you will be, then you are. That's extremely simplified but you get the idea.

I don't want to offend anybody on this but I can't stand to see someone so unhappy when they don't have to be.