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Lilu
February 22nd, 2001, 04:49 PM
LETTER TO DR LAURA From Jack Ballinger

Dear Dr. Laura,

Thank you so much for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I
have learned a great deal from your show and I try to share that knowledge
with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual
lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that
Leviticus 18: 22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do
need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and
how to best follow them.

A) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a
pleasing odor for the Lord (Leviticus 1: 9). The problem is my neighbors.
They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

B) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus
21: 7. In this day & age, what would be a fair market price for her?

C) I know I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of
menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15: 19-24). The problem is how do I tell? I
have tried asking, but most women take offense.

D) Leviticus 25: 44 states that I may own slaves, both male & female,
provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine
claims this applies to Mexicans but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why
can't I own Canadians?

E) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2
clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him
myself?

F) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I
don't agree, can you settle this?

G) Leviticus 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have
a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my
vision have to be 20/20 or is there some wiggle room here?

H) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around
their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Leviticus 19:27.
How should they die?

I) I know from Leviticus 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes
me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

J) My uncle has a farm. He violates Leviticus 19:19 by planting two crops in
the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different
kinds of thread (cotton & polyester blend). He tends to curse and blaspheme
a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the
whole town together to stone them? (Lev. 24:10-16). Couldn't we just burn
them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep
with their in-laws (Lev. 20:14)?

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can
help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and
unchanging."

[Jack Ballinger is webmaster of the Public Housing Spotlight]

Semele
February 22nd, 2001, 05:10 PM
I just spewed mountain Dew all over my monitor!!! That is too funny!!! Thanks for that..although my monitor doesn't thank you.

Semele

Shatav
February 22nd, 2001, 05:19 PM
OMG! That's too funny.

mol
February 22nd, 2001, 06:43 PM
Originally posted by Semele
I just spewed mountain Dew all over my monitor!!! That is too funny!!! Thanks for that..although my monitor doesn't thank you.

Semele

YUCK! I have to clean that!

LMAO! That was excellent...

Niamh
February 22nd, 2001, 08:09 PM
That was wonderful! I really needed a good laugh today, and I have to say that that really hit the spot!
Oh, and, good luck cleaning that monitor :)

richardcranium
February 23rd, 2001, 05:49 AM
Could you imagine what this world would be like if they really followed the bible word for word? Does any one know if dr laura ever answered this letter?

Lady Tana
February 23rd, 2001, 09:20 AM
what a great thing to wake up to first thing in the morning...

im lovin it!!!

Amethyst Rose
February 23rd, 2001, 02:08 PM
Originally posted by richardcranium
Could you imagine what this world would be like if they really followed the bible word for word? Does any one know if dr laura ever answered this letter?
Actually, I believe that her reply was something like, "Yes, the bible is right in all things, but you should really discuss your questions with your priest." In other words, she tried to save face :)

Lilu
February 23rd, 2001, 05:19 PM
LMAOROTF

That's hysterical, trying to save face. hehehe
I'd have been like "Speechless eh? You seem to have all the anwers any other time!" LMAO

Lilu
(who is aiming for zelator!) hehe

Red Dragon
February 23rd, 2001, 05:45 PM
I love it! :D Does make one wonder about those fundamentalists doesn't it? Hee, hee. You ever notice the bible is very convenient to prove an argument as long as you ignore all the other passages that contradict your own opinion??? Hmmm..;)

Yvonne Belisle
February 23rd, 2001, 06:55 PM
ROTFLMAO I have to show this to my husband when he gets home and I have a few people I'm emailing it to! There are tears in my eyes THANK-YOU!!! I'm going to hurt from laughing but it is so worth it!

lynx
February 23rd, 2001, 07:29 PM
Yes, it's true. The Bible should have maybe of contained todays laws and such. You can't spit in someone's eye as the saying goes. That's considered a physical threat and torture.

Maybe the Bible should have been composed like the laws of today, but that would mean total life work just to read the first page. More less understand the facts behind it.

Maybe common sense is the true law. Hehehe, for those who sometimes use it.

(Example: You have a flat tire.
Man asks, what's wrong, gotta flat?
You say- No, it's only flat on one side. As long as I keep going, maybe it will work its way out. :P

Thanks for the laugh!!!!

Lynx })i({

Mariposa De La Luna
February 23rd, 2001, 10:11 PM
Thanks for the laugh! I needed it tonight too.

eaglewolf
February 24th, 2001, 12:50 AM
Or my personal fav:

"I pulled into a gas station with a flat tire. The attendant looks at it and says, 'Tire go flat?' I couldn't resist. I said, "Nope. I was drivin' along and all of a sudden them other three just swelled right up on me!" And without missing a beat, he says, 'Well the heat'll do that!"

courtesy of Bill Engvall~ 'Here's your sign'

~ew

Wyrdsister
February 25th, 2001, 01:48 PM
heeheeheheehehe!!! Thanks for posting that Lilu! Very intelligent commentary on "Dr." Laura. Did all of you know she's not actually a doctor?

Not a fan of homophobia and other closed-minded pursuits,

Wyrdsister

Amethyst Rose
February 25th, 2001, 01:56 PM
She is a doctor.... just not of psychology. Her biography says: "Dr. Laura received her Ph.D. in physiology from columbia University Medical School in New York, and has postdoctoral certification and licensing in marriage and family therapy..... "

So.... technically, she's a PhysEd doctor, and a wannabe therapist :)

eaglewolf
February 25th, 2001, 02:45 PM
begin Moderator

I know there is animosity towards Dr. L, but please try to refrain from attacking her persona...

...nothing really bad yet, but I see the direction which this thread may be going.

Let's have fun, but not too much fun at the expense of others.

~ew

end Moderator

This has been a public service announcement of the Mystic Wicks Online Pagan Community ;)

BlackDragon
February 25th, 2001, 06:16 PM
Very very funny!

Summer Solstice
February 26th, 2001, 12:09 AM
LOL ....I laughed so hard I cried !!!

pattyann
February 26th, 2001, 12:11 AM
This was the best I have seen in a long time but someone saiud Dr Laura wasn't a real Dr. What is she then..besides @#%&* I mean?

Amethyst Rose
February 26th, 2001, 02:14 AM
Originally posted by eaglewolf

I know there is animosity towards Dr. L, but please try to refrain from attacking her persona...


Sorry, I wasn't trying to be mean.... I guess what I should have said is:

she's a doctor of physiology (defn': study of the functions of living organisms and their parts).... and she's is currently working (has her predoctorate), on being a doctor in family therapy.

eaglewolf
February 26th, 2001, 02:24 AM
begin Moderator

No, no... you were doing fine. I just want to keep on the topic of discussion. Once we get away from that and start talking about DrL as a person, people tend to start getting carried away.

Just trying to keep with the thread of discussion (humorous).

end Moderator

I have as many views about Dr L as any body ;).

~ew

Wyrdsister
February 26th, 2001, 05:40 PM
Originally posted by Amethyst Rose
She is a doctor.... just not of psychology. Her biography says: "Dr. Laura received her Ph.D. in physiology from columbia University Medical School in New York, and has postdoctoral certification and licensing in marriage and family therapy..... "

So.... technically, she's a PhysEd doctor, and a wannabe therapist :)


I hate to be nit picky, but I will be anyway (sorry Ametyst!)

She actually has a Ph.D. in Physiology. So you're right, she has a Ph.D. in PhysEd. But that actually doesn't allow her to use the title "Dr." even though that's normally associated with a Ph.D. To be honest, I don't know why she has been allowed to use that title for so long.

I guess I'm just sick of folks like her passing themselves off as authorities on something their not. Religious zealotry may be accurate for her, but perhaps not "Dr."

</end of petty nit picking>

(I promise!)

Wyrdsister

gunner
March 1st, 2001, 05:25 AM
red dragon, you've neatly described why i quietly walked away from the baptist church to find my own way and here i am. blessed be.
"gunner"

Tigerwallah
March 4th, 2001, 12:57 AM
That was TOO funny. Hey, Dr. Laura makes herself fair game. She certainly has no problem attacking those who do not follow her path.
Wanna confuse a fundamentalist? Ask them why Genesis has two stories of creation, and which one is the right one?

gunner
March 4th, 2001, 02:17 AM
you get one from column "a" and one from column "b"?