In need of guidance.

[Danustouch]

I'm reallllllllly in need of a reading right now. I read well for others, and would return the favor...but...I often have trouble reading myself. Too emotionally involved, to see things clearly, I think.

I'm at a pivotal time in life, and SOMETHING has GOT to change soon. So if anyone could give me a reading, I'd REALLY appreciate it.

[loopy]

I will! Give me one second, please. :)

[Myst]

If what I pull doesn't make sense I'll do another (more complicated) reading to elaborate.

Past Influences, Present Conditions, Future (Changes to be made, things to consider, or possible outcome).

7 of Pents, 10 of Cups, Ace of Pents.

Money matters figure in as well as emotions. The first card speaks of delays and setbacks, and can refer to a long period of those things. Perseverance may be necessary.

The 10 speaks of emotions and shows many upright cups, several butterflies, and a full moon. Do you have someone to rely on and lean on - a friend, family member, or SO? Take comfort in your friends or those who love you. Look to them for support and even suggestions if you like.

The Ace shows great happiness, you only need to know your desire and work towards it to realize it. I see a very good outcome here, don't despair!

Hope this helps a bit.

[loopy]

I've dealt you the Wheel Spread, a spread of destiny and fate.

Card 1 -- You -- The Empress. Depicts a pregnant woman riding a tiger underneath an upturned crescent. The important thing about this, I feel, is that she's holding a young piece of grain, as if waiting for it to grow. That would symbolize your waiting for something to happen, to grow, to change.

Card 2 -- Something that is dying or is dead -- Hope. Got a pretty basic explanation for this one, that you're maybe feeling a little hopeless or desperate or frustrated with your situation?

Card 3 -- What is coming to Be -- Desert. Shows two figures, one upright, blindfolded, walking into the unknown. The other is masked, upside down, walking the other way. I definitely think you're the first figure-- walking into something new and exciting. What's also interesting is that this figure carries with it a tall ripe green leaf-- remember the Empress, who was You, carried a brown grain, so it's as if they're telling me that you'll be growing, ripening, returning to a healthy green palour. :)

Card 4 -- an idea whose time is right -- Radiance. This is a card I always have trouble with, but I got the impression here that it's telling me that it's your time to shine. To really embrace the things you excel at, and to be proud of your accomplishments instead of hiding from them or disregarding them as not important.

Card 5 -- things no longer needed or dying -- Lightening. This card means different things to me each time, and here I think it's symbolizing a rigid structure, a daily routine or rut or hectic business life. It's saying to open up and be a little more free with yourself.

Card 6 -- Overall Theme of Fate -- Cyclone. Shows a figure caught up in a wheel while a serene head watches from below. I definitely get the feeling that something will change for you. Maybe you WILL become freer as the Lightening card advised. I also think you'll be happy with this change, even if it might be a bit more chaotic than you expected.

Hope this helps a bit. :)

[Danustouch]

Thanks Guys....

I'll explain my situation a bit.

I moved here, to be with my fiance (now hubby)..more than a year and a half ago. I kinda...blindly walked into the situation. I didn't really check out the area very much before moving here. The town I live in, is kinda...out in the boonies. It's a small town, with no employment opportunity. To get to a larger town, with more jobs, I'd have to drive about an hour, each way. Problem?? I don't drive. I'm phobic. So..there's the bus ...right? The bus turns an hour commute, into an almost TWO hour commute, each way.

My husband, goddess though I love him, is not very helpful. I did take one job while i was here, at a convenience store in town...and though I was working 57 hours a week...or sometimes, nine days in a row...he never helped out with the cooking or cleaning. So..i'd have to do that, too. So..I'm a little reluctant to take a Job in the Larger towns, with the commute, and the situation at home.

Being the small town that it is...I ALSO don't have much of an opportunity to meet people, and make friends. There are VERY few likeminded individuals, here. In this small, mostly catholic town, there are FIVE bars, within a fourty feet of eachother. So..the main concentration in this town, is on drinking, and smoking pot (no lie). So....I can't seem to find people to speak about Art, Philosophy, music, spirituality, history, etc, etc, etc, with.

Meanwhile, My hubby is a "Stay at home" kinda guy. He does autobody. When he gets home at night, he doesn't want to go ANYWHERE. On the weekends, it's much the same. To him, that's his time to do "projects" or to relax. So...again..i'm like...very isolated.

I came from a town, surrounded in cultures. There was SO much to do there...so many new people, and beliefs to absorb. I was surrounded by all the things which interested me. And I had MANY friends.

But...none of us can govern who we fall in love with. And I fell in love with my hubby.

And despite how much I love him, I'm VERY lonely here, and very isolated, and bored.

On top of that..our apartment is SOO tiny...we want to move, but with only one income, we're having trouble saving to buy a bigger place. Thought about moving to a bigger town, where jobs would be more plentiful. But ...the money issue comes into play here again. Not to mention, we're limited as to where we can move, because of our four kitties. SOOOOO few landlords accept pets.

Hubby qualifies for a V.A loan...but...he has to get all of his tax info and all his financial info together, before we can even CONSIDER buying a house...and beyond that..I don't want to live in this town the rest of my life..so if we bought a house..it COULDN'T be in this town.

Add to that..the fact that I'm just REALLY homesick. I hardly Ever see my family and friends..twice or three times a year, maybe. It's all just making me so frustrated and depressed. Sometimes I could scream.

I'm encouraged by what appears to be a hopeful future from your readings...but..it just seems so long in coming. Could you perhaps draw some clarification cards as to HOW these changes might occur..or what I need to do to HELP things along???

I'd appreciate it..thanks :)

[loopy]

Now that I know more about your situation, I'm going to draw a Devil Spread for you... it's for people in a rut, wanting to get out. One sec..

Ok here goes.

Card 1 is the rut. I drew the Aeon for it. Normally this represents self-analysis. However, here I felt that the image of the ouroboros swallowing itself just shows how stifled and suffocated you feel.

Card 2 is the subconscious thing that keeps you in this rut. It shows Gaia, and basically means that your great love for your husband keeps you here despite your wants.

Card 3 are the manifestations of this rut-- what effect it is having on you. I drew the Father of Air card, which again shows a very controlled atmosphere, suffocation, hearing the same ideas over and over again with no new stimulations.

Card 4 are the outside, unbiased views. It is the Daughter of Air, and shows the need for communication. I drew a clarifier for this, and it shows that the person you need to speak to is an extremely intelligent one, but I couldn't read any more details into it, just the smartness.

Card 5 shows how to free yourself from this. It depicts a scene of two lovers below, and a winged figure riding off into the sky on a horse above. This could mean that this is not really going to solve itself-- maybe that you can't be truly happy in this town right now, or perhaps that you need to focus more on your needs as an individual, not as half of a couple.

That sounds really presumptuous as I read it over, and I apologize if it is offensive in any way.

[Danustouch]

nope..it didnt' sound presumptuous at all. It does concern me though....

I made a commitment to my hubby, and I love him...very much. It's not that I'm worried about making him happy..i'm worried about me. I love him so much..i'd never want to leave him. But you are right...I can't be happy in this town. So the problem is...how to get out of it. The town, that is.

[loopy]

Sorry to bring more worries to your life. :(

How bout this person I drew of? Any really intelligent people you know? (If you don't mind sharing, of course) I got the feeling communication of some sort was really important.

[Danustouch]

well..many of my friends from my home town are very intelligent people. As are my parents. But..the problems are more technichal than emotional.

These are the only solutions I can think of at the moment.

Hubby finding a new job in a new town..with better pay, and more job opportunities for me.

Me somehow getting over my phobia of driving (maybe finding a hypnotist?)..and driving to work.

Or finding work at home....somehow....

Could any of that be indicated by your reading?

[Myst]

Ok, I'm also going to try the Devil spread for you.

First thing I noticed here is I drew almost all Major arcana cards - meaning this is a very important matter! Perhaps you've been downplaying it for awhile and now you finally realize how much it hurts you!

Card 1, the rut, is the Hanged Man. Well this is very self explanatory isn't it? You can't move, you aren't happy, what can you do?

Card 2, the thing that keeps you in a rut, is the Page of Cups. A young man who you feel deep emotion for - your husband of course.

Card 3, the manifestation, is Death. The current situation must end and find a new beginning - you're convinced changes must be made now!

Card 4 is the Devil. This is a warning, there are choices, a change must be made and you're afraid to make it but it needs to be made! I suggest you get a paper for a city nearby and look at the listings - a lot of places do in fact accept pets now, and even another small apartment in a bigger city might be better for you. You also need to talk to your husband about helping out! You want change but you're afraid to make changes, even though you know what changes need to be made!

Card 5, freeing yourself, is Strength. You are not happy as you know. You need to examine what can be done and find the change yourself, then have the strength to reach for it. Does this mean having an argument with your husband so he'll help out or even looking for an apartment in another city - maybe both? In essence if you want things to change you need to have the strength and courage to make them change.

[Myst]

The Gods don't give any answers other then to find your own answer and have the courage to reach it. Life isn't that easy you know, you have to find your own path and be strong :)

[Danustouch]

Thank you....the last readings made a lot of sense.

[loopy]

In the first reading I did for you, I drew the Radiance card-- is there some business venture or job that you would really like to do? Or something you're really good at that you could apply to help you financially?

Other than that, I think your best bet is to find something you like to do, something that you can look forward to, something that will give you hope. I just drew the Well card for you, and it emphasizes the need to look into yourself, focus on your needs...

But I'm not getting anything about how to get out of the situation, sorry. :(:( You may be stuck for a while, and it could be saying that you need to make yourself happy where you are, for the time being.

Of course, the thing to remember, I guess, would be that the cards don't rule you, you rule your own life. Chances are if you really want to get out, it's going to happen sooner or later.

I really wish I didn't have to be so vague, muchly sorry, I think this is all I'm gonna get out of my cards today. :(

[Danustouch]

Thank you Loopy and Willow. I don't think your reading, loopy, was vague at all. Thank you so much.

[loopy]

np, anytime!! Good luck! :D:D

[Myst]

It was my pleasure.

Brightest blessings to you both.