A Significant Other's Parents

[Antoninus]

Ok, theres a girl and were....interested in eachother, we might try a relationship but we dont know yet. The only real problem is the girl's (We'll call her Sarah for the purposes of this post) mother is an EXTREMELY controlling woman, she keeps Sarah on a very tight leash. And me and Sarah are friends right now, Ive met her mother and for all intensive purposes she seems to be a very nice woman, a little direct maybe but still a nice lady. Problem is, she really doesnt like me, she thinks Im an under-achiever (Which, basically, shes right, though not with all things) and that Im lazy. She saw my school report card (Dont ask how, LONG story) and she thinks she knows my whole personality now. So I KNOW that she'll be even less happy when Sarah and I start dating, if we do.

So how do I convince her mom that Im a decent guy? Part of the problem is Sarah's mom is alot like my dad in that whatever she thinks, she thinks is right. No matter what anyone tells her. So even if I were to sit down with Sarah's mom and talk to her, it wouldnt help very much. I try to be charming when her parents are around, I do my best to be nice and likeable.

So...what do you think?

[Shanti]

She loves her daughter and only once the best for her. You cant change her mind. You can only prove yourself over time. Time is what a mom wants to see. She wants to know for a fact you are good for her daughter.
And if her mom has a hard time letting her baby go, it may be a very very long time before she will except you.
If you have lousy grades or do anything wrong, her mom will look down on you because she wants the best for her daughter.

The best advice is not to be all sweet around her mom. That dont work. You have to keep grades up and show that you are 100% reliable and if you make a mistake, you should admit the mistake and fix it. Thats the big order her mom probably wants.

Making a mom happy is very hard to do.

I dont know how old your friend is but the younger she is the more her mom is going to believe that she is not ready for a relationship. And the closer she gets to 18, the more scared of loosy her baby, she will be.

Its sounds to me like she is a tough one, but thats what I see when I read your post.

[mucgwyrt]

My boyfriend's mother is incredibley controlling (in a slightly different way). it doesn't change, you just have to live your life regardless of how she feels. It's your life, not this girl's mother's.