lilbit4you2
July 2nd, 2004, 12:24 AM
I am new to this site and I must say I enjoy it very much.
I must admit tho that the way I found this site was prob different than most, you see I have been lost for a good many years, I left home maybe 15 or more years ago.I always meant to keep in touch but as the years went by it was more and more difficult to find my family.I have my mom and baby brother ,my uncle and my 2 sons ,my sons I am still trying to find.I have to be honest and say that as time went by I was more relectant to really find my family for stupid reasons I guess, like the thoughts that I have now, They wont like me ,, I am going to be a dissapointment to them ,, I have been gone all this time and what have I accomplished, what do I have to show that it was worth it? The answer is nothing ,not a damn think, zilch. All I really have is my shame, I dont know if you can understand that or not because I dont even understand it. But its there, my life has never been really good or complete for a long time, a lifetime it seems,I have been searching forever for just a little bit of happiness that I can never find.I am never happy or satisfied with anything or anyone it seems,well maybe for a moment but it quickly fades away.I have been so terribly lonely and alone for so long that I feel like I will always be now,my family has found me but I still strange, I have missed so much of there lives that I wonder if I will ever truely get to return home,will they really accept me,I am not the person they knew before ,we are all strangers now and even tho I long with all my soul to belong I am just looking in on a warm place that I feel I will never be able to enter.
I still am searching for my sons but someday I hope to find them,and maybe they will forgive me,I hope my family can forgive me also ,even tho I know I am undeserving of it.
twig............my uncle I have missed you and you have always been in my thoughts and in my heart,I am hoping that now maybe I can start to heal and become a whole person again because without all of you I have been a hollow shell,desperatly longing for warmth and love and wishing my light would shine brite and strong instead of dim and struggling to stay lit,I have wasted years that I can never get back and I am hoping with all my heart that I am still loved and wanted,if not I can truely understand and would not blame any of you at all.
Longing to belong
Respectfully
Shari Lynn
As she follows
Her heart
Grows hollow
Sight grows dim
Blood runs thin
Unconciousness sets in
As her mind
Starts to spin
As she says
To him
Forgive Me Father
For I have sinned
SLS 03
I must admit tho that the way I found this site was prob different than most, you see I have been lost for a good many years, I left home maybe 15 or more years ago.I always meant to keep in touch but as the years went by it was more and more difficult to find my family.I have my mom and baby brother ,my uncle and my 2 sons ,my sons I am still trying to find.I have to be honest and say that as time went by I was more relectant to really find my family for stupid reasons I guess, like the thoughts that I have now, They wont like me ,, I am going to be a dissapointment to them ,, I have been gone all this time and what have I accomplished, what do I have to show that it was worth it? The answer is nothing ,not a damn think, zilch. All I really have is my shame, I dont know if you can understand that or not because I dont even understand it. But its there, my life has never been really good or complete for a long time, a lifetime it seems,I have been searching forever for just a little bit of happiness that I can never find.I am never happy or satisfied with anything or anyone it seems,well maybe for a moment but it quickly fades away.I have been so terribly lonely and alone for so long that I feel like I will always be now,my family has found me but I still strange, I have missed so much of there lives that I wonder if I will ever truely get to return home,will they really accept me,I am not the person they knew before ,we are all strangers now and even tho I long with all my soul to belong I am just looking in on a warm place that I feel I will never be able to enter.
I still am searching for my sons but someday I hope to find them,and maybe they will forgive me,I hope my family can forgive me also ,even tho I know I am undeserving of it.
twig............my uncle I have missed you and you have always been in my thoughts and in my heart,I am hoping that now maybe I can start to heal and become a whole person again because without all of you I have been a hollow shell,desperatly longing for warmth and love and wishing my light would shine brite and strong instead of dim and struggling to stay lit,I have wasted years that I can never get back and I am hoping with all my heart that I am still loved and wanted,if not I can truely understand and would not blame any of you at all.
Longing to belong
Respectfully
Shari Lynn
As she follows
Her heart
Grows hollow
Sight grows dim
Blood runs thin
Unconciousness sets in
As her mind
Starts to spin
As she says
To him
Forgive Me Father
For I have sinned
SLS 03