der_hanseat
July 3rd, 2004, 07:26 PM
Hello all!
First of all, I must say that this forum is a very impressive place! Learning about a pagan spiritual path is oftentimes confusing for the solitary student, so it is a relief to find myself among so many other followers. In order to communicate my questions clearly, I must explain a bit about myself.
I am 20 years old, and am currently pursuing my BBA. I was brought up in a Christian (Methodist - moderate Protestant) household, and was for much of my early life compelled to attend church weekly. Despite this fact, I never really developed any faith in God, even as a child. I saw that other people did believe, and I wished that I could share in their supposed happiness by sharing in their faith. Nagging doubts about the theology, however, and a strong aversion to the patriarchal and guilt-ridden conservative dogma of Christianity continued to drive me away from the religious life of the church. My agnosticism was further ossified when I left for boarding school (where I didn't have to attend church or become confirmed) and when I learned that neither my Dad nor my Granddad held religious beliefs.
I have thus lived for several years in the complete absence of religious faith of any kind. I have not felt it necessary to subscribe to a theological system for moral or ethical guidance, or for the necessity of prayer or other such intercession.
Recenty, though, I have felt a certain emptiness in my life which I ascribe to the absence of a religious philosophy. This has led me to search for a spiritual path in line with my personal ideals and ideas about the nature of the universe/existence.
I have always felt a sort of pantheistic attachment to nature and to the world around me, and if I have learned one thing in my 20 years it is that all things are interconnected and all life is intertwined. Any observance of the world in which we live should testify to this point.
I knew that monotheism as it exists is neither satisfying nor logical. Its focus on the afterlife is in my opinion misguided... we live in this world, and what happens after we die should not be the entire focus of our lives now! Instead of such a linear view of life and time, I feel that our existence moves in cycles - the seasons, births and deaths, planting and harvesting, bloom and decay, etc.
Eventually I realized that I felt much more at home in a Pagan path. Thus have I begun to study the faith and practice more closely, and it becomes clearer every day that this is the right decision.
The only problems I have had is in dealing with the metaphysics of Magic(k), for very much the same reasons as I discounted Christian theology. I have read some very interesting things about the nature of Magic (physically & scientifically) and am becoming increasingly convinced of its utility. I still have my doubts, however, and I am afraid that this might hamper my ability to successfully perform it. What resources can I consult to calm some of the doubts of an overly critical logician?
My last question is this: how can I, who thinks too much and a mile a minute, focus on either meditating or performing magic when my mind is constantly fluttering this way and that? Any particular excercises I could use to focus?
Thanks a bunch!
Kendal
First of all, I must say that this forum is a very impressive place! Learning about a pagan spiritual path is oftentimes confusing for the solitary student, so it is a relief to find myself among so many other followers. In order to communicate my questions clearly, I must explain a bit about myself.
I am 20 years old, and am currently pursuing my BBA. I was brought up in a Christian (Methodist - moderate Protestant) household, and was for much of my early life compelled to attend church weekly. Despite this fact, I never really developed any faith in God, even as a child. I saw that other people did believe, and I wished that I could share in their supposed happiness by sharing in their faith. Nagging doubts about the theology, however, and a strong aversion to the patriarchal and guilt-ridden conservative dogma of Christianity continued to drive me away from the religious life of the church. My agnosticism was further ossified when I left for boarding school (where I didn't have to attend church or become confirmed) and when I learned that neither my Dad nor my Granddad held religious beliefs.
I have thus lived for several years in the complete absence of religious faith of any kind. I have not felt it necessary to subscribe to a theological system for moral or ethical guidance, or for the necessity of prayer or other such intercession.
Recenty, though, I have felt a certain emptiness in my life which I ascribe to the absence of a religious philosophy. This has led me to search for a spiritual path in line with my personal ideals and ideas about the nature of the universe/existence.
I have always felt a sort of pantheistic attachment to nature and to the world around me, and if I have learned one thing in my 20 years it is that all things are interconnected and all life is intertwined. Any observance of the world in which we live should testify to this point.
I knew that monotheism as it exists is neither satisfying nor logical. Its focus on the afterlife is in my opinion misguided... we live in this world, and what happens after we die should not be the entire focus of our lives now! Instead of such a linear view of life and time, I feel that our existence moves in cycles - the seasons, births and deaths, planting and harvesting, bloom and decay, etc.
Eventually I realized that I felt much more at home in a Pagan path. Thus have I begun to study the faith and practice more closely, and it becomes clearer every day that this is the right decision.
The only problems I have had is in dealing with the metaphysics of Magic(k), for very much the same reasons as I discounted Christian theology. I have read some very interesting things about the nature of Magic (physically & scientifically) and am becoming increasingly convinced of its utility. I still have my doubts, however, and I am afraid that this might hamper my ability to successfully perform it. What resources can I consult to calm some of the doubts of an overly critical logician?
My last question is this: how can I, who thinks too much and a mile a minute, focus on either meditating or performing magic when my mind is constantly fluttering this way and that? Any particular excercises I could use to focus?
Thanks a bunch!
Kendal