A Plea to the Divine

[Gala]

Divine one.

So much confusion so mych anxiety and depression.
I am filled with weariness, filled with indecision.
I just don't want to go back to Corsicana this year. Even if I have to give up my beloved ceramic class. I don't want to be there.
There is nothing else. I have searched the job listings for this area, I can't find anything appropriate for me. Nothing. So much education and no way to even pay for it.
I just can't stand this anymore. I just can't cope with the stress. The work around this house just keeps getting farther and farther behind and I can't do what I used to. I can't move furniture around like I used to. I can't work really fast and long. I get overwhelmed by the sheer vastness of work to do.
Take on thing at a time. I can't do that one thing until all the other stuff gets our of the way and I can't do the other thing for the same reason.
I've sunken into this computer and into the television just so I don't have to think.

I don't know what to do.
I don't want to be this way
I don't want to be me.

[Gala]

I lit a candle for change, for focus, for impetus...

It went out.. what does that mean?

[Boogins]

It means all these things are coming. :hugz:

[Gala]

From your fingers to the god's eyes...

[Gala]

still no word from Navarro. That man has no respect for adjuncts. I hate to write him because he is so cryptic. Registration is getting closer and closer... all my classes have to make. I can't afford for them not to all make.
I feel like crap. Like someone has been beating me around the legs, stomach and arms.
Can't hardly lift one leg in front of the other.

blah blah blah.

I am happy about gettin my house to look like a house and having my funiture in places.
Happy about my kids.
Happy about my hubby. I love him so much.
Thankful for him. And thankful for my mom and dad.. but worried about Daddy.

Thankful Sox is all better.

[Gala]

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg

[Gala]

I need to choose a name for you, Divine one. What name (s) do I call you?

Thank you for everything.

[Gala]

Well it's Sterling once again. I wrote her three times and she still hasn't responded. I don't know what I did this time.
I'm starting to feel that downward spiral again.
Why can't she understand how much I need to be a part of her life. I'm her mother.She is a mother. You'd think she would understand that. ?
I just don't know what to do.

[Calyx]

:hugz:

[Gala]

Thank you Goddess, for things being ok with my son..Sorry about Florida, but happy about my baby.
Thank you also for Carrie being ok with me. I was just being paranoid.
She has a new job and is happy.
May the walls that hold us all in be taken down and our fortunes be lifted.
Blessed Be

[Boogins]

:hugz:

[Gala]

After reading my friends entry. I can truthfully say that I know where she is coming from.
My knee is miserable. Today is better than yesterday but I should have gone to the doc. It is probably going to be screwed up for ever.
Our house is falling apart too. The porch off my parents' bedroom is rotten.I felt it give the other day and I live in fear the my mom or dad is going to fall through.
The faucets all leak, inside and out. The airconditioner in this room is ancient.
Our car is worth less than what we owe on it.
I sit down and start to work on school stuff, become overwhelmed and forget what I'm supposed to do. I know I have tons of work to do but I don't know what it is.
I have sewing to do. I need to finish the pond. I need to paint.
I need to enter my students into my gradebook.
And the end of the month can't come soon enough. I have got to pay some bills.

So any help is welcome to my friend and for me.

[Boogins]

Everything happens at once, the good, the bad, the promises, the disappointments... I'm certain we'll emerge from this better off, but sometimes the getting there can make you insane, can't it?

:hugz: Love you, George.

[Gala]

Is there any word stronger than insane???

[Gala]

Please...Please...Please...

[Calyx]

:hugz:

[Gala]

Teach me Divine One, to focus and accompolish something.
Take away my disorganization and despair.
Teach me Divine One to Soar and Sing.
To be strong and calm and centered
As I Will it, So Mote it Be

[Boogins]

:hugz:

[Gala]

Divine Mother.

Please make this come to pass.
We are all counting on it. We all need it.
We have planned and dreamed.
Mother most of us have been through so many trials we need this.
Blessed Be.