Why has everything got to be so hard?

[FaerieGothMommy]

Okay, my boyfriend has been in hospital for the third time, he has had to have a 3rd operation on his back, he had like a cyst their that had to be removed and it keeps returning. Thing is, he only just recently found a new job, like a few months ago. But because of his op his had to have like 4 weeks off, as it keeps bleeding and until it is healed, he can't do ANY work!! He is not getting payed for being off sick, so we are living on family tax credits. Thing is, my mom came back home yesterday (she works at the same place) and said, they might get rid of you! If they sack him, that means we will not get tax credits either, he will not be getting any wages and so, no income at all.

We are also desperate to move out, and i mean desperate! I don't know how much longer i can live here, it's driving me crazy!! Theres been a few days lately where i just sit and cry because i need to get out of here, but how are we going to do that with such little money, possibly andy losing his job & expecting our 2nd baby anyday!
Plus price of properties keeps going up & up and so does all other payments, it's like the goverment think it's fun to make you're life as hard as possible, will it ever be possible to live comfortably?

Then i've got my moms snobby bf, whos family are all rich and he loves it! I'm forever hearing "daves family are all well-to-do" and "daves family have this & that" .... Just rub it in my face why don't you!!

Sorry for the rant, just kinda getting to me, and it's really bringing Andy (my bf) down, as he feels it's all upto him to provide for the family, but i know he had to have the operation done and it wasn't his fault the cyst came back.

Life just seems to hard a lot of the time! :(

[mucgwyrt]

But he will surely then be eligable for disabiity benefit?
Are you on the list for a council house?

[Muireannach]

*hugs* Cheer up! worrying is bad for the baby.

Legally, here at least, you cannot fire someone because of disability. If they pull that crap be sure to stand firm and have a "chat" with them. I'm sure they wouldn't like to be known as the place that fired a father of one, and expecting another child, for being on disability.

I wish I could think of a solution, I'll think about this all a bit before I throw in some advice...stay strong!

[FeatherGoblinglimmer]

Has your b/f got a sicknote? Surely if he needs to erest it then your gp will be happy to provide him with a note. Also if your b/f does lose his job you might be entitled to income support. Also, are you receiving child tax credits? If not go to your inland revenue office and ask for the application form. That is around another 40 pounds a week that Ellie should be eligible for.

I agree with Macha. Make sure your name is on the council housing waiting list. Small tip though, make sure they know you can't stay at your mums much longer otherwise they will take longer because you have a permanent roof on your heads. If you want i can help you fill the form in to best use to get as many points as possible without outright lying. ( My daughters great grandmother was on the housing commitee before she retired a couple of years back and when i filled mine in she helped me fill it out and pointed out things that would help:))

[Xentor]

I'd get some legal counseling. I'm sure for people living of social benefits there's free counseling.

Here in the Netherlands letting off an employee who's been sick / ill is only possible after a serious extent of time (years, not weeks). Here, if you are let off, you get social security, which amounts to (afaik) 75% of your last wage. However, if you quit yourself, you get little to nothing.

And to that overly rich family of your boyfriend, I'd say, "If you are so rich, either help me get through this difficult time, or shut up."

:huddle: Your prior concern right now should be the baby. As long as you can stay with your parents, do so.

[mucgwyrt]

And to that overly rich family of your boyfriend, I'd say, "If you are so rich, either help me get through this difficult time, or shut up."

:rotfl:

[RubyRose]

Aww. :hugz: sorry, can't really advise you in this situation, but hugs are always good :hugz:
Blessings,
RubyRose

[HorseCrow]

Sweetie, there must be some help to get from the social services? Get in contact with them and explain your situation. With you being such a young mother I'm sure there will be some financial support available for you. :hugz:

[morrigen]

:hugz:

Feathergoblinglimmer seems to have some really good advice there. i hope something good comes from all of this.

Try not to worry too much right now, look after yourself and those you love, at's what's important.

You have the greatest thing of all - love. Worth more than any rich family connections.

[Erebus]

Why has everything got to be so hard?

Where would the fun be, otherwise?

[soilsigh aingeal]

I understand about wanting to get out with little to no money :hugz: I hope things start to pick up for you guys soon

[Phi]

:hugz: Be strong, sweet FGM. I know it must be hard, but it sounds as if three need your strength right now, the bf, the daughter and the son. You have to build it up for them, and you will be surprised how building up strength for others does not drain you, but feeds your own internal strength!
Tell your Mom you need her help right now to be strong for the family and the new baby. Is she in any position to "run interference" for Andy at the job? She could be letting them know, if they don't, the pain he is in, the baby coming, ect. If I heard something like this at my job, I'd be all for helping out, and the opinion of the workers can sometimes sway the opinion of the bosses.
Also, if I were Andy's boss at work, and knew the circumstances, I'd be supporting him and doing all I could to see that the job stayed waiting until he was well. If not Mama, is there someone else there at his work that you could talk to or that Andy could talk to? The bosses need to know in order to try to help.
Blessings to you, and much strength. Peace too, for you can believe that this will pass and that things will be brighter soon.

[Nighthawk]

Man, this is not a good one... sorry to hear this. I don;t know what to do... *hugs* to you guys is the best I have to offer....please take care of you

[Semele]

Energy and healing to Andy and calm, warm thoughts to you and the babe! I hope things get better for you soon. Try not to worry so...things have a way of working out. Good luck to you.

[FaerieGothMommy]

Has your b/f got a sicknote? Surely if he needs to erest it then your gp will be happy to provide him with a note. Also if your b/f does lose his job you might be entitled to income support. Also, are you receiving child tax credits? If not go to your inland revenue office and ask for the application form. That is around another 40 pounds a week that Ellie should be eligible for.

I agree with Macha. Make sure your name is on the council housing waiting list. Small tip though, make sure they know you can't stay at your mums much longer otherwise they will take longer because you have a permanent roof on your heads. If you want i can help you fill the form in to best use to get as many points as possible without outright lying. ( My daughters great grandmother was on the housing commitee before she retired a couple of years back and when i filled mine in she helped me fill it out and pointed out things that would help:))

Yes, my bf has had 2 sicknotes, both of which have been given to the work place, but it still looks a bit dodgy at the minute, and if they get rid of anyone it'll be andy because hes been off for having an operation.

We do get child tax credits, so at least we would get that, but i don't want to go through all the claiming of income support etc... apparently, i'm not entitled to that when i have a partner, only single parents are.

We don't want to go on the council housing list, firstly because we might aswel rent seen as we'd have to pay rent on a council property anyway, and also, we don't want to stay in birmingham, the quicker we get away from here the better.'

Thanks for the advice hun :) i appreciate you trying to help. Hopefully we'll work something out.

[FaerieGothMommy]

Where would the fun be, otherwise?

Yeh!!! The goverment wouldn't get a kick out of it if we were all able to live comfortably!

[13thChylde]

Energy and healing to Andy and calm, warm thoughts to you and the babe! I hope things get better for you soon. Try not to worry so...things have a way of working out. Good luck to you.
What she said!! :hugz:

[WinterTree]

Major hugs and love to you FGM. :hugz: :hugz: Keep your chin up, good fortune may shine on you yet. I hope things straighten out. :hugz:

[LadyAutumnCat]

I think that your boyfriend should be eligible for disability.

Hang in there and try to get some help from the "rich" family. Why rub it in your face when you so desperately need it.

Sending strength your way. Things will get better.

[Pol]

Doesn't the UK have a pretty good disability?
My cousin has been living off of it for quite a while, and they're not hurting. They're older though, so perhaps they had some saved up.