Rant!

[Danustouch]

Sorry all..I need some place to unload this...lol.

Okay...this girl I met in town, who is a "wiccan" (at least, that's what she labels herself).....and I began hanging out about a year ago..on and off. Mainly..because I haven't met ANYONE in this town, whatsoever, except for her, who knows ANYTHING about Wicca. LOL. So...we kinda became friends. Not close ones..but..friends none the less. I started seeing certain things in her personality which turned me off, fairly early. As time progressed, I started to see more and more things which really irked me. Several times, I tried to just let the friendship fizzle out, and go away. But then my hubby (who hates to see me bored) calls her up and invites her over (without notifying me ahead of time that she'll be coming to visit me.). So..it starts up again. I have never met a more selfish, selfcentered, spoiled person as she. And she REALLLLLLLY grates on my nerves. But..I have this little.."pushover" tendency. I hate to be rude, I can't learn to say "No"..and most of the time, cannot tell people point blank, what I think of them. One time, about seven months ago..she told me she was pregnant. It was not by accident, she claimed. She'd been doing fertility magick for a year and a half. Not only was she doing magick, to have this baby..but..for ALL the wrong reasons. She was in love with a man, who wanted a child (though not by her). She thought that if she could get pregnant by someone else, this guy might "marry" her, because they were such good friends, adopt the child..and they would all be a happy family. GRRRRRRR. Meanwhile..the BIOLOGICAL father..has no clue that this was her real intention. And she's trying to get child support from him. Around this time, she lost her job. She also soon after, lost her brother. I had cut ties with her when she found out she was pregnant, slowly but surely, once she explained her reasons to me. But..then when i heard she was jobless, and had lost her brother..i took pity, and befriended her again. I have tried to help her get on track with her life. Helping her find numbers for social services, helping her find an apartment, helping her find stuff for the upcoming baby...etc, etc, etc. Hubby and I even gave her a wholeeeeeeeeee bunch of food ..three bags, at one time, out of our own pantry (before we too hit rough times.). But..she is one of these who just wants everyone to jump up and help her, but refuses to do anything for herself. She hasn't sighned up with ANY of the social services, has taken really poor care of the child within her, is living in her mothers basement, because none of the "apartments" were "big" enough for her...etc. She refuses to even wear maternity clothes that were given to her..because.."maternity clothes are ugly". So..she spends what little money she has in "Plus Size" clothing, because it's "More attractive". She's constantly getting makeovers, buying presents for herself..etc. GRRRRRR. Now...just about two weeks ago..her step father, whom she hasn't spoken to in 2 years, came back into her life. He's invited her to live in another state MILES away...with him. He has a huge house, which she'll have total rights to...he's going to buy her a car, get her a good job, give her a cell phone..he's taking her on vacations already...she's going to have a hot tub of her own..etc, etc. etc.

I asked her if she was going to do it..and she said.."hell yeah, i am.". Okay...let me get this straight. She PURPOSELY gets' pregnant...to win a mans love. She abuses the baby in her womb by smoking and drinking while pregnant. She lives off of her mother, and indeed, her mother has bough everything she could want for the upcoming baby. the crib, the changing table, the play pen, the bottles, the diaper genie, the rattles, the pacifiers, the stroller,...etc.). But as SOON as the baby is born..she's going to be living the life of a queen...MILES and MILES away from the mother who's given her so much. Now of course..her mother is upset, and feels betrayed..and this girl, tells me her mom is just being a "B**ch".

Ok..First of all..doesn't that seem a LITTLE bit selfish of her? Doesn't that seem like she doesn't appreciate ANYTHING her mother does for her? Doesn't she seem like a totally self absorbed child? Hasn't she learned ANYTHING about personal responsibility from this? She's going to take her step fathers gifts to her, and live like a queen. Never ONCE thinking about how wrong she was, for being so manipulative, and hurting so many people, including her unborn child. She's actually REWARDING herself for it. I don't get it.

Am I just being jealous??? Or..do i have a bonafide reason to be angry at this girl? Perhaps angry at a society which has spawned such a selfish being. Perhaps angry at the fact that some people NEVER learn a lesson in responsibility for their actions, and some sort of self-respect. They always try to find the easy way out of every situation in their lives, and try to manipulate EVERYONE around them, to make their lives as easy as humanly possible. GRRRRR...and what really ticks me off the most, I suppose, is her belief that she is "Wiccan". Each time I speak to her, she seems further and further from the principles of Wicca. Further and further from the true lessons of the faith. And I just want to shake her. Rip off her pentacle...and tell her to GROW UP!!!! I hope, honestly, in time, that she will either come face to face with the lessons she needs to learn, or that she will stop calling herself a Wiccan. I keep thinking she's one of the "Phase" wiccans, who was wiccan when it was cool to be. Because she doesn't seem to have learned ANY of it's true lessons. GRRRRRR
Sorry all...I just needed to rant about that!

[Earth Walker]

Like this...#%@&$?

Her behavior is very inappropriate, especially using people.


Only my Cat understands me.
************************
There are only two times I feel stress.
Day :D and Night :D

[Raynewitch]

Try to look on the bright side....at least when shes gone you wont have to deal with her anymore :)

I feel for the child though...s/he will have it rough without a good mother :(

Rayne

[Red Stag]

Oh ya I feel your pain . I know that we must harm none and in the end it will all come back to her but I don't know how you could keep from just kicking her in her self centered @#$. Truly you are as is the mother full of love .

[Faery-Wings]

grrr, I can see why you are upset. :mad:

I feel the worst for the mom and baby. Mosty the baby, because s/he will not be getting a fair shot in lfe being raised by this woman. However, I feel that at some the woman will end up dumping the baby off with Grandma. Ya know what I mean?

It must be especially hard knowing how much you want a baby for all of the *right* reasons.

((hugs))

Chris

[Incendia]

I hope that things get better for you really soon Rant!
Lotz' of hugs....Amicus

[Danustouch]

Thanks guys..for the support. I try to rant about this to my hubby..but he seems to think it's just womans' jealousy. I happen to think it's simply indignation..and righteously so!

GRRRR...thanks for listening to the rant.

[slvr_phoenix]

**L** I happen to agree with your rant. It bothers me a lot to see examples of that over and over and over. (Both with young single mothers acting like spoiled brats and with people claiming to be Wiccans but not really 'getting' any of it.)

All I can say is such are the joys of people's immaturity. I've got a few family members like that. It sucks.

I can't decide which annoys me more, that people can be so immature and endanger their own children without a care like that, or that these people are generally the ones that get all of the lucky breaks and end up better off than us mature folks who have to work hard for everything we have. Both make me pretty sick.

[MammaStar]

I know what you mean about people acting immature. It burns me know matter if the person claims to be Wiccan or Christian for that matter. A friend of mine has a wife who is this way. She upped & left him & their home in Ark. to come & live w/her Mommy in NY, when they moved away from NY to get away from her Mom in the first place. Now he's lost his wife & both his kids. Some people never grow up.

I feel for her unborn child, stupidity tends to repeat itself. Ya know, nut doesn't fall far from the tree yada yada yada.

At least you don't have to deal with her anymore. And one day, you too will be able to conceive the child you want so very much.

:heartthro :heartthro

[Illuminatus]

Originally posted by Danustouch

And she REALLLLLLLY grates on my nerves. But..I have this little.."pushover" tendency. I hate to be rude, I can't learn to say "No"..and most of the time, cannot tell people point blank, what I think of them.

Yeah, I have that problem too. 2 weeks ago I was hanging out with some friends, and they brought along this girl who was totally into me.. but the feeling wasn't mutual... so rather than tell her straight to her face that she was annoying as hell and to leave me alone, I just sort of acted like a jerk (yes more than usual!!) hoping she gets the message.

What I forgot was that girls are ATTRACTED to jerks, so the plan totally backfired, now she AND my female friends alike are e-mailing me offering me support b/c they think i'm depressed and want to "change" me... when I only wanted a moment's peace!!! augh, women!

So, point is, sometimes even straight out TELLING people you don't like them encourages them. Heh.

One time, about seven months ago..she told me she was pregnant. It was not by accident, she claimed. She'd been doing fertility magick for a year and a half. Not only was she doing magick, to have this baby..but..for ALL the wrong reasons.

This I've also seen.. I had to put out a brush fire at my last party when my guests got in a huge fight over the condition of an unborn attendee. It took an hour for Julio to sober up (PETTING ME the whole time, he is a weird touchy-feely kind of guy), while I explained to him that you CAN'T solve everyone else's problems for them... even if you are able, and want to, it's not your right. Even if they don't realize they have a problem. I don't think he got it, he ended up getting into a fight with the ocean later that night (he lost but he won't admit it)... bottom line is, he cares too much for his own good, which may be your problem Danu. Bad people do bad things, and there's not a lot you can do about it, sadly. Unless they try to do bad things to YOU. Then you can go all out!

- Ill

[Lilu]

:mad: :mad: COMPLETELY AGREES! :mad: :mad:

Don't get me started.... grrrrrrr.... I completely agree with you 100% Danustouch. People like that make me :bad:

Chat with you later!
Lilu

[Lilu]

Originally posted by Illuminatus
Bad people do bad things, and there's not a lot you can do about it, sadly. Unless they try to do bad things to YOU. Then you can go all out!- Ill [/B]

You're right there Ill. I think with me I have been seeing so much of it lately that I just spend my time being disappointed in the world. I'm trying to get over that too. hehehe. You can only change one person - yourself. I just have to drill this through my thick skull at times. hehe

Lilu

[Danustouch]

Yah know...times like this...i almost wish that Human Cloning WERE ethical. There could be a good clone, for every selfish human being out there!!!!! then we could cryogenically freeze the "BAD" clone, and use it for body parts!

Sorry...lets not get OT..lol.

[Swanspirit]

If we could know who the selfish manipulative people are in this world ,so we could identify them ahead of time .... would make it a LOT easier on those of us that get taken in.. we give and give, and then are amazed that anyone could be that low and selfish.....I pity her child..
My suggestion to you would be to think perhaps the goddess is taking care of the child, because the mother doesnt seem to be mature enough to do so .
Sometimes looking at things from a different perspective helps YOU a great deal.
Love and HUGS
Swannie

[SpikesPet5150]

Reminds me alot of a friend I had a while ago... in 8th grade (we were both 14), she decided she wanted to have a baby, with her boyfriend, who was 13. I kept trying to persuade her not to.. bringing her to raging parties and saying, "You wanna miss out on all this??" Nothing was getting through to this girl. So she gets pregnant. She never stopped smoking or drinking. A few months later, we were getting our swim suits on to go swimming and she starts screaming from the bathroom.. she'd had a miscarriage. Fast forward about a year (now in 9th grade.) and she gets pregnant AGAIN, although this time, she doesn't know who the father is.. it's a toss up between 2 guys. Whaddaya know.. she has another miscarriage. In 10th grade the same thing happened again! In 11th grade, she finally got the hint that her little body wasn't ready to have a baby. We're not friends anymore, because she decided she'd rather go to her little brothers soccer game than come to my wedding, but last I heard she got married, which means she's probably pregnant again. I'm not happy that she had to go through the pain and suffering of all those miscarriages.. but I am happy that she couldn't have a child. Her entire family is about as dysfunctional as you can get.. and I couldn't stand by and watch another life be ruined. The best thing you can do is leave it up to the higher powers. There's nothing you can do to change her.
~Bree

[Incendia]

LOL!....Danustouch...I accidently called you Rant in my post :bigredgri .... Silly me...lotz of hugs anyway!

[Danustouch]

LOL...no prob amicus...and thank you for the hugs :)

[ladyrowan]

I can well understand your feelings about this person, i think we all come across people like that in our lives. I've been just as angry as you when i've come across people like that, hard to get it out of your head sometimes.

But in recent years I've started to look at it from a different viewpoint.
I think that first we have to accept that we can't help everyone, no matter how much we want to.
They're here to learn lessons, and maybe the reason we can't help them is that we're not supposed to help them. Maybe they have to work thing out for themselves.

I think you're right to cut yourself off from her, it's doing you no good at all. Ask your husband not to invite her round any more, and just put her out of your mind when she moves. I know you'll worry about the baby, but hopefully her Step-Dad will keep his eye on things; he seems to want to help, which could be what she really needs.

Sounds like she has lots of issues to deal with, and believe me, she will come up against them when the time is right. She has a long life ahead of her, who knows what will happen to her, and how she'll change?

Now, calm down, have a lemonade, and know that you've done your best for her. That's all any of us can do.

BB

[Wyrdsister]

Danustouch, you soon will be rid of her and praise the Goddess for that!

I've met people like that too, and the only thing you can do for them is ignore them - because you really can't do anything for them and all they do is take, take, take...

You could do a spell for the unborn baby and then do one to rid this person from your life. Then forget about her - she'll continue to take your energy as long as she is in your mind. (I realize this is easier said than done, but practice, practice practice!! ;))

Wyrdsister

[Wiccan Maeve]

I completely understand how you feel about this woman Danustouch. My heart goes out to her unborn child. I'll never understand how people can be so selfish and uncaring, ugh!

Love & light,
Maeve