Is that just me or is it the same with everyone?

[Raydreamer]

There is always that person you know, who you just don't click with. They either irritate you, are annoying in their behaviour or something. But whatever it is...the two of you are just not compatible and you get infuriated with them.

Is that just me or is it the same with everyone?

There's a woman I know exactly like this. She makes me feel uncomfortable, and I find it really hard to communicate with her. I find her hypocritical and boorish. She always tells you how you're wrong and seems to argue for arguings sake. She talks about ethics and morals and seems to discard these in favor of her own amusement.
For example, she talks about caring for everyone...and yet she comes over telling us how she's being taken to the Theatre by this man she's seeing. She admitted that he was really into her. And then she says she can't wait to dump him afterwards. I couldn't help but think she was just using this man.

My problem is...and the reason for this thread (which I'm determined to finish even though i really need a pee!!) is that she gets to me. She makes me feel indignant and brings out my negative qualites....my argumentative side. And although I know that how she is will never change through my efforts...I don't know how to become at peace with her and indifferent to the way she affects me. But I can't help that she makes my hackles rise. :shaker: :woah:

I just have no idea how to help myself get past being concerned by her effect on me. Does anyone have any advice??

[morrigen]

Advice: avoid them, avoid them, avoid them.

That sort of persoon exists in everyone's life, I think. Mine included. And they bug me to tears.

So, I dodge them wherever possible :)

Whenever this is not possible, I try to remember that their supercilious opinions are not important to me and usually have no impact on me, other than the annoyance factor.

When that doesn't work, or they are particularly annoying, I have no problem telling them what I think :D Sometimes it makes me feel so much better.

[FaerieGothMommy]

It is not just you at all.. I know EXACTLY what you mean... You may have seen me go on about my moms bf a few times, well with me, thats the person i just can't get on with.

He is irritating in everything he does, wether he means to be or not. Ive tryed liking him but the closest i can get to liking him, is when hes not here at all!

I just try to avoid him as best i can, or else i'll go crazy!

[Faeawyn]

I think we all have 1 or 2 of those. Think of them as spiritual bumps in the road :hehehehe:...put in you path to challenge you and help you learn to be a better person. That's what I tell myself everytime I'm around my "bump" and I feel the tension in my shoulders. It doesn't work for me...but hey...maybe it will for you :lol:

[Phi]

:hairred:
Your hackles rising are for a reason. :G Your intuition says you should not be around her if you can avoid it.

[MaryE]

I know a few people like that too.... ugh.

I agree, avoid having anything to do with that person. And if you have no choice, and know in advance that that person is going to be where you are? I suggest a simple grounding and centering ritual to help you better cope with her presence. I find that this helps me deal, stay focused on the positive, and not allow them to drain my energies.

[Kalika]

I think there are just people that "rub you the wrong way" so to speak.

What drives me nuts is when I can't quite put my finger on what it is that annoys me about someone... but they get on my nerves every time they are around. That's the worst! (Well, for me)

:p

[Black RiverWolf]

those kind of people are everywhere. i have a few that my whole body starts to shake cause i really want to just go off on them but i don't i just ignore them for the most part then go on my happy way

[Strega Del Vento]

It's definitely not just you.

I find plenty of people that I don't click with every single day.

There's no written law that you have to like everyone. You also can't please everyone, no matter how hard you try.

People either like me, or they don't. It's not my problem really. I am who I am, and I definitely don't feel the need to change that, ever.

Don't worry about it hon. Just avoid the ones that give you that feeling. It's been working well for me for years. haha

:uhhuhuh:

[Katya]

thsi situation happens to everyone, and the only way i deal with it is keep reminding myself, "i am higher than them. not high and mightier, just higher." laugh about what bugs you about them. invision in your mind that whatever they do badly for their effort, karma will come swinging back and hit them in the butt. usually works for me.

[Razz]

Keep yourself grounded around her & detach yourself from your feelings towards her. This relationship my be about her and not you. Try to look from outside of the situation, in at yourself and her, and what would you tell you about this relationship. Try to look at the big picture.
I have a couple "use to be friends" like this. Now I tolerate them when I have to, and as how do I deal with this personality and not the person.
Hope I explained this so you understand.

[aluokaloo]

avoid her! Everybody feels like that around certain people. The best thing to do is avoid them and if they seem to gravitate towards you anyways, just tell this lady when she gets too close that she's in your space or boundaries or whatever you want to call it. Depending on the situation and her ability to take subtle hints, you can do it tactfully and tastefully or my personal favorite is to just tell them bluntly, for pg 13's sake, somewhere around the lines of get lost.

[OriginalWacky]

Has anybody ever read "Power Vs Force" by David R. Hawkins?

[Abren]

Everyone knows people like that!
I can't stand being around a girl at school who really wants to be my friend
I can't stand being around my mother
I can't stand being around most of my teachers
or that boy on the bus with the annyoing voice that is totally flat who fancies me
or the other guy thats fancies me
or the guy that used to bully me
or the lady on my bus with the funny tounge
or the lady on my bus with the double chin who talks about horses 24/7
or the boy with the really high voice who is 17
or the boy with the really high voice who is 17's little brother
or etc. :rant:

There are a lot of people i can't stand
avoid them if you can
if you can't, invest in a great imagination so you can switch of and just occcansionally say 'uh-uh' when the conversation deems it nessesary

OriginalWacky, whats the book about and should we read it?

[Linx]

The person that does that to me is my SIL, the one married to my brother. She drives me insane. Her children drive me insane. I hate to admit it but it is true. :eyez:

She wants to be close with me. But at the same time will get offended by most of the things I say. I try to tell her in the best way I know when something bugs me, or is flat out wrong. At the same time I tell her when something is great. She is 24, but has the mentality of a 13 year old. She really does. There are so many things she just don't grasp. I feel bad for her, because I know that it isn't all her fault, that something is definitely wrong upstairs. But at the same time, she drives me insane. I can't stand to be in a room with her for more than about an hour, and most of the time that is too long. For some reason, my nerves and patience just can't handle it. I get so stressed. :foh:

Her children are the same way. All of them are way behind developmentally. And for the most part they are just really loud, get into everything, and really don't seem to understand the word no. I really am sorry that I feel this way, but again, it must be something with my compacity for the noise, and tolerance for c onstantly staying after them. When ever I am asked to watch them, I just kind of freeze up. I want to say yeah sure, but I know I HAVE to say no. My sanity depends on it. :(

The two of us argue most of the time, and we just don't click. Needless to say, this is not helping my relationship with my brother. :bastard:

Sorry for the rant ...

[soilsigh aingeal]

I agree, your best bet is to avoid this person or anyone else like this. She probably acts like that to get a rise out of people on purpose. :hugz:

[WandererInGray]

I have found that when I take an active dislike to someone, it is usually because I see something in them that I don't like about me.

There was a man named Atisha and Pema Chodron tells a story about him involving Tonglen which is the Buddhist practice of mindfulness and loving-kindness. The story goes that Atisha was invited to teach in Tibet, but he heard about how the Tibetans were very open and friendly, and he asssumed that he wouldn't have anyone to challenge him in his compassion practice. So he took along his sulky, bad-mannered Bengali tea boy in order to have someone to practice on. :D

Now obviously he met a great many disagreeable people in Tibet. You can't really get away from them, they're all over, no matter what country you're in.

So perhaps you can learn something from this woman? Why is she always so disagreeable? Was her trust violated badly when she was young that causes her to be so closed-off? People often act one way because they are hiding something that scares them or hurts them. *shrugs*

Perhaps a little kindness and caring will go a long way. Even should it not help her, for in the end, that is her choice to open up or not. You can benefit by knowing that you tried all you could.

[Dieithryn]

Nah, it's not just you.

I had exactly the same problem with girl I used to work with. Thankfully she quit a couple of months back but she still pops in occasionally to see films and ask if she can pinch other peoples comps (free tickets for cinema staff) I'm not entirely sure what it was about her but whenever I was on shift with her, I found myself doing all the really sh***y jobs (ie. removing chewing gum from seats) just to avoid being near her.

Hubby used to have the same problem with my best mates ex fella. Even ten years down the line, hubby cannot explain why he had such antipathy (he wants me to note, no animosity) towards the guy.

I think that these feelings happen with everybody at some point. All I can suggest is what everyone else has already done, try and stay away from the person who is making you fell this way as much as possible. It's harder when you work with the person but I managed to stay away from the person who bugged me (I have to admit I was extremely relieved when she quit, *side note* she's training to be a nurse, personally I feel sorry for the patients lol) which at the time was about the only thing I could do.

Tangnefedd
Dieithryn

[DixieWitch]

I know what you mean. For me, it was my sister's ex-husband. Now that they are divorced and she might be getting remarried in November, I no longer have to see his sorry butt, so it's all good now!!

[djmixon]

Unfortunately, sometimes it is your SO or spouse. . .not all the time, but there are occassions (days, weeks, etc) that you just cannot get along, no matter how hard you try. Best to just let them be when it happens. . .I just wish the kids would learn too.

D