My altar to the Universe

[savannahrose44]

I call upon the forces of the universe manifest in my life. Please help me to be strong. Help me to get through this....help me be steadfast and supportive. Help me to know what to do....I cannot take his pain away, but please help me to ease his suffering. His heart is broken and he is slipping into the depths of depression. Help him to find his way back to the light. Lift this weight from his heart that he may once more find peace within. This is all I ask of you.........

[savannahrose44]

I'm holding on to my sanity. Baby steps......

[savannahrose44]

Things are a little more settled now, but I still need your guidance. Help me to know what to do...Where do I go from here....how can I help? What do I need to do? Please ease his pain....I cannot stand to see him suffer so. Help him to be able to let go....

[Boogins]

:hugz:

[savannahrose44]

The challenges continue....I feel so lost. I don't know what to do. There are times when I feel like giving up, but I know that is not the way to go. I can't give up....I'm all he has right now. Gods I wish we had met at a better time it would make things so much easier. I know, I know.....what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger. I'm trying to be patient, I'm trying to be there for him.....I just don't know what I can do to help him other than just being there. He is in so much pain....I can't imagine what he must be going through....So I ask that you continue to ease his pain....help him come out of this with out incident. Help him work through his feelings and understand them. Help him come to terms with what cannot be changed. Most of all help him to know that she is no longer suffering.....I ask nothing for myself....This is all I ask today.

[savannahrose44]

Watch over him....where ever he is....keep him safe and sane. Help him to accopmlish whatever it is he needs to accomplish and bring him safely home....I'm worried.

[savannahrose44]

Thank you........things are slowly improving......one step at a time. Thank you for your continued guidance and support.

[Earthy]

Sending you strength,peace and love.:hugz:

[savannahrose44]

I cannot stand the silence. I haven't heard from him in two days....please keep him safe I'm worried. He warned me he might do this...and now that it's happening I don't like being in the dark. I just hope that it helps him figure things out.

[savannahrose44]

Once again I'm in need of help....I'm scared. My job is on a knifes edge right now and if I loose it I'm screwed. We lost a huge account, and the owner of the company is thinking of calling it quits. I can't loose this job....

Michael still needs you help too...things are slowly getting better, but times are still so difficult. Watch over him....

Help me keep my sanity...

[Nighthawk]

:hugz: you are being watched over..

[savannahrose44]

Another day...Here's hoping this one goes better. Michael needs healing...Please help him. I ask nothing for myself. He is in so much pain, so much torment...Just help him...this is all I ask.

[Earthy]

lighting a candle for Michael's healing.

[savannahrose44]

Oh how the tables turn so quickly....it is I who need your guidance today....I'm the one in pain....please help me to get past this...Help me to let it go and let Karma run it's course. I hate my father so much...I just want to let it go and move on, but I don't know how...Please help me to let it go...Make the nightmares stop....please I can't take much more of this...I'm already broken.

Continue to watch over Michael as he is still in need of your love and support....

[savannahrose44]

The nightmares grow more intense and more bothersome. I slept for all of an hour last night and that hour was plauged by nightmares....I feel so trapped....I cannot escape it. If this keeps up I'm going to hurt myself or someone else. I can't function like this...I need restful sleep...

What to do about the job situation too...this is heavy on my mind. Please lend me your guidance...

Watch over us....

[savannahrose44]

Last night I got the first good nights sleep I've had all week. Most likely thanks to the Vodka, but hey I'll take what I can get. I have decieded to try for this new job...hey it can't hurt to apply can it? I just need a little help with the whole self confidence thing and I should be just fine. I feel like I'm slowly slipping away...like I'm loosing myself a little at a time...with each nightmare I become more and more lost. Almost like I leave a piece of me behind in the realms that lie between dreaming and wakefulness...Every day that comes and goes...I loose some more ground. I'm not progressing but rather regressing when it comes to mental healing...I don't know how to turn things around...I'm caught in a downward spiral...there is no foreseeable way out. Darkness has become my reality. Chaos rules my life...there is no order to things. It seems like all I feel anymore are feelings of pain, anger, frustration and guilt. Happiness has become a stranger in my world. I don't know if I'll ever regain that feeling. Dispair...there is another feeling that has become common place in my life. Feeling like no matter what I do or what happens no good will ever come of it...I need to feel alive again...I need to feel love. Please help me to bring the light back into my life and restore the balance....

Continue to watch over Michael as you watch over me....

This is all that I ask of you...

[savannahrose44]

Somethings got to give...at some point things have go to improve right??? Damn my father anyway...why did he have to call. I was doing just fine until he had to call. I don't know why I let it affect me so much. I shouldn't....It shouldn't, but I can't help it. Everytime I hear from him it dredges up memories best left undisturbed. How do I cope? What can I do to help make things better? I don't want to feel like this anymore....I don't want to fear anymore. I don't want to hate him anymore....I'm tierd of hatred...hatred and anger have ruled over my life too much as it is.....

[savannahrose44]

I know you must grow sick of my whines....but I still need your help and guidance. Your knowlege and wisdom far surpasses my own as you are the source of all things. Until I return to you there will always be a need. Please....I need help getting this new job. I am desperate. All my petty fears are nothing next to the reality of loosing everything I have worked so hard to achieve. This is all I ask today.

[savannahrose44]

I need help here....I have to find a job pronto! I'm going nuts sitting here with nothing to do all day but look for work....I prefer to be working...I want to work....I need to work....I need to get a grip on my life again. Things have been so crazy I don't know what way is up anymore. Let alone what direction I'm headed in. This is not comfortable...I don't like it. I need to know where the road is leading me and where my life is going. My sister got married yesterday...She was beautiful. Watching her as she stood next to the one she loved made me think about my life and where I'm going. I don't know what the future holds, but I do know that I can only hope one day I will be as happy as she appeard to be. It all happens one thing at a time one day at a time. I need to get my life back in order and I need help to do that. I'm lost and confused at the moment....I need help to get my bearings.

[savannahrose44]

Be there any justice in this universe make it stop. I keep seeing their faces...I can't make them go away. I can't even look at my lover without seeing someone else staring back at me. I can't handle this right now. Not on my own....I need help. Gods help me!

[savannahrose44]

Feeling a bit better now that the aniversary has passed. I don't ever want to go through that again. That was severely screwed up.

[savannahrose44]

Things have fallen apart with Michael finally and I'm feeling rather alone now. All I ask is for healing for both of us so that we can move on with our lives and hopefully save our friendship out of all this. I tried my best......