I feel so broken.....

[Asthmorte]

ok..my mom and I dont get along. she has serious mental issues. my dad just doesnt care about me, I havent talked to him in years. I keep getting these uncontrollable urges to hurt myself in every way possible, whether its thinking about my ex, self mutilation, or just letting a cat bite the sh*t out of me. I got suspended from school in february because I got caught with drugs. Im suspended for two semesters. Im deeply, deeply in love with my ex. Im just plain crazy about him. I cant stop thinking about him. I dont have any friends,none. I rarely sleep, I dont eat, and all I do all day is go on the internet, cry, and hurt myself. I cant talk to my mom about anything because she'll just put me in a mental hospital again. my step brother also sexually abuses me. I cant tell anyone about that either. Im at the point where I have no will to go on. I just want to crawl up and die. I feel so damn hollow inside. The only reason I ever had to live was for love, and my ex, but now thats gone. please, can anyone tell me what I should do? Im so lonely.

[Faeawyn]

Wow....if only I could give you a crystal ball and let you see 10 years ahead of where you are right now. This is such a terrible time your going thru. I don't know why it has to be so hard for teenagers....but so many seem to suffer thru it. First of all....your life has value, and altho you may not see it now, You are a special important part of this universe and the energies in it.
You need to try to stop hurting yourself before you're unable to stop period. It doesn't solve anything and only makes other people think you're crazy. If you're having trouble coping....see if your mom will take you to a doctor ....tell her you have stomach trouble or anything....but tell the doctor what you're feeling and get help.
I know your ex seems like your entire universe right now....but I swear to you....there will come a day when you'll look back on this and think ....WOW..... I can't believe I let myself go thru all of that.

[*GrumpButt*]

Why cant you tell anyone about your step brother?

[Faeawyn]

Why cant you tell anyone about your step brother?
good question...I find that EXTREMELY disturbing.

[*GrumpButt*]

yes I know...
Nothing will happen to her if she tells someone, if anything they will take him away. and that would be a GOOD thing.

[Asthmorte]

my mom would most likely say that its my fault and kick me out of the house again if I told her.

[Khuinaset]

For your stepbrother- if telling isn't an option(could you try telling a counselor at school, or something? or someone outside of the situation?), I'd say try and find martial arts classes(at the Y, or at a community center) around where you're at, and then the next time he tries something beat the crap out of him. Of course, that would probably only help a little bit if he's twice your size or something, but if he's only marginally larger...I'd do that.

Everything else: I can't really say much, except say hang in there, as hollow as it sounds. A friend of mine broke up with her longtime(2-3 years I think) boyfriend in September, tried to kill herself, and now she's with someone who is so much better for her, that she's so much happier with. Heck, six months ago I was so depressed about so many things that are looking up now. And if you need friends- I'll always be happy to talk, and if I recall you said in another thread you were around Tulsa or OKC- I'd check the Witchvox listings, I think there were quite a few teens in that area. I hope things get better for you :hugz:

[OriginalWacky]

ok..my mom and I dont get along. she has serious mental issues. my dad just doesnt care about me, I havent talked to him in years. I keep getting these uncontrollable urges to hurt myself in every way possible, whether its thinking about my ex, self mutilation, or just letting a cat bite the sh*t out of me. I got suspended from school in february because I got caught with drugs. Im suspended for two semesters. Im deeply, deeply in love with my ex. Im just plain crazy about him. I cant stop thinking about him. I dont have any friends,none. I rarely sleep, I dont eat, and all I do all day is go on the internet, cry, and hurt myself. I cant talk to my mom about anything because she'll just put me in a mental hospital again. my step brother also sexually abuses me. I cant tell anyone about that either. Im at the point where I have no will to go on. I just want to crawl up and die. I feel so damn hollow inside. The only reason I ever had to live was for love, and my ex, but now thats gone. please, can anyone tell me what I should do? Im so lonely.
Well, you might not like my opinion, but here it comes anyway.

Tell. Tell anybody. Especially child protection services. You have too much to cope with on your own, and you need help. You don't deserve this.

I know it's hard, believe me, I *Know*. But you have to find a way to get through this, and the best way (at least that I can see) is to get out of there. If you want to vent any more, I have NO problem being a sounding board, and I can arrange to sign on at certain times if I'm here.

I know you feel like nobody cares at all... but I do. And I'm willing to bet that I'm not the only one here. I can't say I love you, I don't know you, but I get such good vibes from you that I can't imagine that I wouldn't love you if I had time to know you.