Empowering Others (small rant)

[Sabrina]

I just responded to someone on the "Energy Request" board -
and I feel the subject matter warrents a thread all it's own, for I see this sort of thing from time to time.......

Rule one - people - Witches are NOT Victims!

(Geesh...makes me feel like I am ranting)
Sorry if this is coming across rather harshly - but dammit I just read WAaaaay too much of this these days. And not necessarily here on Mystic Wicks....
but I do see this - weekly - posted somewhere in the world.

I NEED to say this outloud and with great emphasis for I feel the attitude is sorely lacking in adopting this theory.
Now, I don't know if the books we buy and read are Not getting this message across, If we're too into self pity mode to care enough to keep ourselves afloat in our own lives, or if there are some Really lousy teachers out there who forget one of the fundamental rules about witchcraft
(but getting to the root of the problem is simply not my job)

What IS my job (bad choice of words I admit - sorry) But what IS important to me is to say this about as loudly as I possibly can....
Witches are NOT Victims.

Let's look at it this way - ok? When you empower another person enough to truly affect you....You are giving your power away. Doesnt matter if it's your friends, your boss, your neighbor, your mother, your husband, your girlfriend.....
even your children.....

YOU decide (no one is perfect buttttt) YOU decide what you are going to accomplish today and tomorrow and the day after that. Period. Getting into the very bad habit of beggin off that you did not achieve x,y or Z is a very Christian mentality. Christians base their existance very much so on a God that offers up justice, patience, blessings, or punishment and totally runs the show....
witches don't think this way.

WE are responsible for ourselves. .....our choices and our decisions.
Right down the the most brief moment.

Period.

Now, of course things come along sometimes we didn't foresee, for few of us do personal divination all day long, everyday...
so things can take us by surprise. Then we have to deal with certain issues when they arise - granted.
However, I really do see far too often people who profess to practice witchcraft right along beside me, when they are rather far removed from the attitude and lifestyle that befits a witch.

So - allow me the luxury of ranting and beg that maybe I had a need to serve as a reminder to you today...that IF (big if I know) YOU ARE NOT living from within as a witch should...
take this as just the loving reminder - Irish Mom style - and get your witchiness together.

Don't let someone else determine what you Do or do not feel.....what you do or do not get out of life.
Remember you EMPOWER another person when you allow them to determine even something as small as your Mood for the day.

Choose who you will and who you will NOT empower around you. The decisions are Yours and belong to No one else BUT you.

k............rant over.
LOL

Sometimes I have good things to say and am no professed expert in my delivery. So forgive me if I come across harshly.....

I'm just selfish...I want everyone to be witchy and happy so that all of our lives are good and productive...that makes me look smart for being your friend...
:spinner: :spinner: :spinner:


cheers
Sabrina

[Nighthawk]

We have power, personality and freewill.... This alone, make us responsible for at least SOMETHING in our lives. (I am not a witch, but get what you are saying)

[Amethyst Rose]

I'm not exactly sure how to respond to this..... firstly, not everyone here is a witch, second, empowerment has nothing to do with being a witch. Thirdly, about the whole "victim" thing....I felt that that was offensive to the many people on this board who have truly been victims of rape or abuse. But maybe I just didn't get what you were trying to say. I agree that we give away our power when we allow people to take advanage of us, or to effect our moods, like you said, but the whole victim thing....saying that witches can't be victims....that's just going too far.

[Ahautenites]

I think you're way off-base.

Number One, not everyone here is a Witch, so the person in question may never have learned those "fundamental rules about Witchcraft."

Number Two, what gives you the right to rant when someone asks for others to pray for them? The person that spawned this rant of yours admitted that she was rarely to blame for what she was getting yelled at for. She's done all she can to ensure that she's doing her job properly and now wants others to help her in making sure she has some financial stability. Who are you to rant about that?

Number Three, while I do agree that "we are free the moment we wish to be" (that's a paraphrase from Voltaire, to give credit where credit is due), there other factors in someone's life that must be considered, such as who's going to pay for any children to be fed, clothed, and supplied for medically when necessary? Yes, you can choose to work for an ass or you can choose to go it alone. Both are fraught with consequences. But neither choice should be frowned upon or ranted about.

Number Four A, Christianity had NOTHING to do with her decision to stay in a lousy job or not.

Number Four B, it's a Christian majority doing the employing, so if you want to get ahead, you may have to play by their rules on occasion.

Number Five, knock off the proselytizing. As I said in Number One, not everyone here is a Witch.

[Shanti]

I knew you'd anger some people because what is trivial to one can be hard to anouther. We are not all equally tough.

[Ahautenites]

That's right. I'm like Silly Putty. Pliable if slowly cajoled or coerced, but rock-hard when hit with a fist (verbal or otherwise).

[Aelfoak]

Why don't we all just chill out a bit, there's too many threads on this site that are far too political! Do you really think that Pagans of old cared about who empowered who, they worshipped the land spirits hoping that they would bring a good crop at the next harvest and hoping that the hunt would be successful to get them through the winter, that was what Paganism was really about.

Lets just chiiilllll!!! *locks himself in a fridge for a bit*

[Amethyst Rose]

I'm sorry but..... we're not pagans of old. We have other things in our lives beyond hoping that there's a good havest. It's called Neo-Paganism for a reason.

[Ahautenites]

I wasn't actually mad, Peopleworld (at least, I think you're named that... it comes across on my screen as "peopleworld" because of the MW@work setting). I was simply stating facts as I saw them.

As to continuing facts, not all Peoples of old did as you mentioned, either. Ancient Egyptians, for instance, cared quite a bit about who was empowered in their world. Without a Nisut (a king) and a hierarchy of government and priesthood, there would be chaos, and chaos was something the Egyptians feared beyond all else. Not all of their gods were "land spirits," either. And while there were spirits, not all of them were worshipped. Some of them were quite frightful things that needed to be driven away. I'll grant you that the hunt and the harvest were important, but equally important were the works programs in place during the Egyptian "winter."

[LacyRoze]

I'm only going to say this... Above all else we're humans and humans often have things that are beyond their control in their lives and that we need help with. Whether you're Pagan, Neo-Pagan, Christian, etc. really doesn't matter. Not everyone is tough as nails and can just walk away from any given situation. Things affect some more than others. Don't come down on someone just because they ask for help. Afterall, aren't we all supposed to help our fellow man??

I'll shut-up now...

[Aelfoak]

I suppose i'd better shut up too by the look of it. But i have a small holding in the English countryside and i do live off my own land and i'm mostly self sustained, so i'm abit of what i mentioned in my previous post above, this is how i see my Pagan belief as.

I like your poem Lacyroze, nicely written.

[LacyRoze]

Thank you!! Just a rare moment of inspiration..:whatmewor

[Athena-Nadine]

I could be wrong, but I didn't get the impression that she was berating people for needing help. It seems to me that her issue is the victim mentality that is running rampant through our society today. Sure, some of it could be worded better, but I don't think it was meant as an attack on someone seeking help. Maybe she saw something in the post that prompted this that we missed. Who knows? We have all, at one time or another, seen a post that triggered a response that didn't necessarily hhave anything to do with what was in it.

As far as being offensive to rape/abuse survivors, the biggest lesson one must learn is that one cannot begin truly healing until one lets go of being a victim. I have been raped. I have been abused. I am not a victim. I am a survivor. I was only a victim as long as I chose to be, and as long as I chose to be, I could be nothing else.

[charmedkisses1]

YOU decide (no one is perfect buttttt) YOU decide what you are going to accomplish today and tomorrow and the day after that. Period. Getting into the very bad habit of beggin off that you did not achieve x,y or Z is a very Christian mentality. Christians base their existance very much so on a God that offers up justice, patience, blessings, or punishment and totally runs the show....
witches don't think this way.
cheers
Sabrina

What the..... that's a lie. Christians totallly hold themselves responsible for their actions. Why do you think they use the word sin? Just because they may pray more for
blessings", etc. doesn't mean they don't work hard for what they have!

Other than that, I agreee with SOME things :cutie:

[charmedkisses1]

I'm not exactly sure how to respond to this..... firstly, not everyone here is a witch, second, empowerment has nothing to do with being a witch. Thirdly, about the whole "victim" thing....I felt that that was offensive to the many people on this board who have truly been victims of rape or abuse. But maybe I just didn't get what you were trying to say. I agree that we give away our power when we allow people to take advanage of us, or to effect our moods, like you said, but the whole victim thing....saying that witches can't be victims....that's just going too far.

Maybe she meant the whole "o I'm a witch everybody is persecuting me wah wah wah" things? Maybe not..

[aftershocked]

I'm with Nallia on this one.. I don't think she meant this post to be taken like this. When I read it, I automatically thought of the old Elanor Roosevelt quote 'No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.' I think that's what she was trying to get at.

Maybe it's because I'm one of those idealistic people who likes to think she's in control of her own life, but I don't think this was just focused at the Witches among us. I think it's something everyone should consider. One of the reasons I was drawn to this path was the fact that it left ME to be responsible when I screwed up, rather than have it be 'God's Plan' or bad luck. One of the reasons I find Pagans, as a (generalized) whole, to be such great people is that they're open to the idea that not everything is the fault of the Divine. That- while we were created by the Divine- we are only human, and are entitled to make our own mistakes and as such we should take responsibility for them rather than pass the buck to others, throwing pity-parties and victimizing ourselves.

This is not to belittle those who truly have been victims, of abuse or rape or anything. Those are obviously the fault of another human who will have to deal with the consequences accordingly. But, rather, I think it's to point out that for those of us who feel like they can't be open about their religion or sexual preference, or even don't want to speak their mind because they fear being disagreed with or made fun of.. these are our fault. We are allowing others to take a position of power over us because we (consciously or subconsciously) feel that we are in the wrong, or out-numbered, or are the VICTIMS of something (prejudices, hatred). And that's what she's trying to get at. We're allowing the opinions of others to stand in the way of living our lives free of the 'guilt' we carry about our religious choices, or sexual orientation, because we fear we will fulfill the horror stories of the victims before us. And because of that we're allowing ourselves to fall victim to one of the most abundant killers of acceptance of ourselves-silence.

Ok, that turned into a rant of my own.. sorry. :crazy:

[13thChylde]

I was typing a response to this, but then I read aftershocked's and realized she said it much better!!

so....what she said!

[Nighthawk]

Right..right, I agree

[mara]

I don't entirely disagree with the main point of Sabrina's post, my problem with it is that if I had reached out and asked for energy, I would not have been amused by someone starting a new thread about it..I agree that we are responsible for how we react to a situation,but we are not responsible for every situation that happens to us. sometimes things pile up on us and we need to reach out to other people who are on our side for support or help..that doesn't mean that you see yourself as a victim. Maybe I am misunderstanding, but I thought that this was a little insensitive.

[Lunacie]

When we are dealing with the crap that happens to us all at times, there are several stages we usually go through, and no one goes through them in the same order or spends the same amount of time on each stage. These stages are generally expressed as Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. And actually, one may find themselves dealing with more than one of these stages at the same time. Just because you are in a different place in dealing with the crap that comes your way, doesn't mean others are dealing in the same way or that their way of dealing is wrong - for them - at this time - in this situation. I don't always express myself the way I think I'm doing, does this make any sense?

[Sabrina]

I'm with Nallia on this one.. I don't think she meant this post to be taken like this. When I read it, I automatically thought of the old Elanor Roosevelt quote 'No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.' I think that's what she was trying to get at.



Thank you. You understood what I was trying to say.

As for the word: Victim...know a little something about me....
I was raped while in college and once after college.

I clearly wasent talking about rape victims. But abuse victims - yes, I was talking about abuse to a certain extent. Abuse comes in many forms. The most common is the one where we allow others to have control over our daily lives - aka someone at work who's giving you a hard time, for example.

Look...maybe I've just been responding far too often lately to folks who find themselves in one harsh situation after another.....Where due to another Person - they are in some pickle.
maybe I was a little burned out when I typed my little rant.

But even if I didn't say it pretty - and it came across harsly - the message is the same.
When you give someone else power over you, you let them affect you to the point of not having control over your life anymore (Christian reference) or you allow others to run and influence your decisions - you empower them.

I'd like to see more people keep their own power. For in doing so - you make sound decisions that are good for you. It's a matter of choosing what you need to for your life and I think that's important. Too many posts here and there where the person is feeliing vicitmzed by whatever situation is around them occurs very frequently.

I thought it might be a good idea to remind people that the responsibility for your own actions lies with You - no one else.
But the delivery was sketchy and folks took my meaning poorly.I'm really not a very good writer.

Truth of it be told - many people will prefer to live as victims....always having some battle ongoing with someone...always some reason for lack of love or money in their lives. It's just that within our pagan community - I feel pagans should reach for a higher goals and not play victim. Maybe having someone point out that not being secure in your decisions will make folks mad. That's ok...people get mad sometimes. But the message is one of true friendship and of love. Why would I want people to have better lives if I didn't have their best interest at heart?

Hope that cleared it up. ALthough, I can tell from some of the reactions here that some have decided to just take what I'm trying to say as mean....and that's ok too I guess.
kinda like talking to my kids....I cannot always paint everything in a rosey picture.
Life is harsh. Lessons are sometimes harsh...and messages are sometimes harsh.
I still say: We shouldn't be victims. We should take responsibility for our own lives and work hard to not let others run our lives for us. Life brings surprises - sure - but even in dealing with surprises we should remain true to ourselves and not fall victim to another's wants, needs or decisions. :broomride

[Nighthawk]

Sabrina... I was in a very very bad place for me... I was being abused, mentally and emotionally.. and my good friend, Gryphongirl told me.... "In order for you to be happy, or to do anything at all positive.. you have to become an active participant in your own life" She was right.... I believe this is what you were saying... in other words....

[Lunacie]

Helping others to see things from a different perspective is a good idea. Berating them because they aren't living up to some Witchey Ideal is counter-productive, eh? I know you say you didn't mean you message to come across in that way, but I think that's how a lot of us took it.

[Sabrina]

Sabrina... I was in a very very bad place for me... I was being abused, mentally and emotionally.. and my good friend, Gryphongirl told me.... "In order for you to be happy, or to do anything at all positive.. you have to become an active participant in your own life" She was right.... I believe this is what you were saying... in other words....


Yes ::::::: Whew:::::::thank you!

Geesh, I've never been so misunderstood in all my life.
LOL Funny thing is- I was trying to help.....

guess I'll think twice about trying that again. But then a good sign of someone who enjoys playing the victim is that they rarely accept real help. They'd rather complain.
It's textbook really.

I hope people can find a way to gain the control over their own decisions. It's not preaching - that's different - it's a wish said aloud that you will see others be happier in their lives. Anyone who reads something other than that single message is missing my boat. But hey - it happens.

Thanks again...
Cheers
hope you have a great day
Sabrina

[Nighthawk]

No problem... I got it right off, but did not know some would take it wrong... It is fine, for we all know each other better. I think that is the best explanation anyway. You and I have spoken to each other before, and so.. I know your heart better than if I had not... The more we all communicate, the more we all understand.. and that too is a way out of being a victim...

[Shanti]

Some people find it hard to reach for their bootstraps to pick themselves back up again. People who enjoy being the victum obviously have a problem. I believe we all for the most part do want to be happy but for some, they dont know how and so they find other ways to fill the emptiness inside so they are endless victims. They want help thats why they ask.
You cant feel bad toward a person who is struggling with emptiness or loneliness or some other over whelming feeling.
Plus some people need to feel just rotten for awhile before they can brush themselves off and start over.
We all feel self pity at some point in life and for some, they become trapped in it. Thet need understanding from the stronger ones out there. Its sad when some one is stuck in self pity mode. I have known people like that and they are hurting inside. We certainaly dont tell depressed people to just get up and fix it. We cant tell people in self pity that either.
Self pity is another type of depression.
Compassion, understanding and kind honest words and guidence and patients is whats needed.

[Nighthawk]

And that is true too... it is a fine line we walk sometimes

[Lunacie]

Thank you Shanti, clearly written and understood. And I agree with you.

[Sabrina]

Compassion, understanding and kind honest words and guidence and patients is whats needed.

Shanti:
You are right - truer words you could not say. But not 100% of the time(in my opnion). I really do believe that sometimes you gotta shake or rattle the cage as they say. You gotta stir up the dust. You need to shake out the cobwebs. Sometimes You just have to speak the truth and not spend time sugar coating it so as to not step on someone's mood that day.

Part of the reason that many folks continue to find themselves IN victim mode is simply because everyone around them continues to coddle them. Maybe rocking their boat is what's needed. Empowering comes in a variety of forms - coddling someone who really needs to hear the cold harsh truth is just another form.
There's a word for helping someone hurt themselves and that word is "enabler". I also call it empowerment.

Sometimes messages are harsh. Sometimes Not surgar coating the subject and allowing it to BE abrasive is part of the point.

I sometimes wonder if needing everything surgar coated and said with all sweetness and pussy footing around isn't the very definition of dealing with victim. After all, life just isn't about "easy" 24/7, now is it? And clearly my opinion on dealing with certain matters in the harsh light I think they require isn't popular here.
cheers
Sabrina

[Nighthawk]

Well, the problem is... we see it and sell it from our own life view.. Some have different dealings.. It is all good. ANd just because it might not be popular, does not mean it is not important to discuss. Many of my hard lessons have been mucking through a crappy situation...

[Shanti]

Shanti:
You are right - truer words you could not say. But not 100% of the time(in my opnion). I really do believe that sometimes you gotta shake or rattle the cage as they say. You gotta stir up the dust. You need to shake out the cobwebs. Sometimes You just have to speak the truth and not spend time sugar coating it so as to not step on someone's mood that day.

Part of the reason that many folks continue to find themselves IN victim mode is simply because everyone around them continues to coddle them. Maybe rocking their boat is what's needed. Empowering comes in a variety of forms - coddling someone who really needs to hear the cold harsh truth is just another form.
There's a word for helping someone hurt themselves and that word is "enabler". I also call it empowerment.

Sometimes messages are harsh. Sometimes Not surgar coating the subject and allowing it to BE abrasive is part of the point.

I sometimes wonder if needing everything surgar coated and said with all sweetness and pussy footing around isn't the very definition of dealing with victim. After all, life just isn't about "easy" 24/7, now is it? And clearly my opinion on dealing with certain matters in the harsh light I think they require isn't popular here.
cheers
Sabrina
This is true but not for all people. If it was true for all people then psychiatrist and therapist would be out of work and no one would ever need meds. Some people are just not designed like others and need some hand holding through life, some need a kick in the butt and some just need to hear a word or two and some do fine on their own.

I just dont think thats it fair to say to many are allowing themselves to be victums because each one is differant and unless you know each ones status, how can you say anything?

Happy people dont run around empowering others to make victums out of them. So if they are not happy, what do they feel and why? Theres many reasons......many.

[Phoenix Blue]

Getting into the very bad habit of beggin off that you did not achieve x,y or Z is a very Christian mentality. Christians base their existance very much so on a God that offers up justice, patience, blessings, or punishment and totally runs the show....
I don't think this is a fair statement to Christians. Certainly I've known some that are that way, but I've known just as many who try as hard as they can to do whatever they want to do for themselves, accepting that God's will comes before their own if the two should differ.

I'm glad you said something about this, because I agree--there's far too much "victimhood" going on in today's society, both among Pagans and otherwise. But let's not blame it on Christianity. :)

[Erebus]

Geesh, I've never been so misunderstood in all my life.
LOL Funny thing is- I was trying to help.....

If you really sit down and thing about it, though, it probably could have been predicted. You probably know as well as anyone just how violently most victims react to the word "victim". You probably also know that many people with a victim mentality actually like to see pretty much everything as a direct attack on them - so they get to be even MORE the victim. It's a comfortable role to fall into. You get sympathy and support without ever actually having to listen to anyone push you to change things.

You say: "Stop whining, pick yourself up, and get on with life!!!"
Victimy Person says: "You think I'm whining! You don't care! Quit persecuting me! WAAH!"

That's why I don't bother. I just mentally note the name of the people and try not to get wrapped up with them at any point. Kudos and luck to you for trying, tho.

[Phoenix Blue]

Number One, not everyone here is a Witch, so the person in question may never have learned those "fundamental rules about Witchcraft."

Number Two, what gives you the right to rant when someone asks for others to pray for them? ...

Number Three, while I do agree that "we are free the moment we wish to be" (that's a paraphrase from Voltaire, to give credit where credit is due), there other factors in someone's life that must be considered, such as who's going to pay for any children to be fed, clothed, and supplied for medically when necessary? Yes, you can choose to work for an ass or you can choose to go it alone. Both are fraught with consequences. But neither choice should be frowned upon or ranted about.

Number Four A, Christianity had NOTHING to do with her decision to stay in a lousy job or not.

Number Four B, it's a Christian majority doing the employing, so if you want to get ahead, you may have to play by their rules on occasion.

Number Five, knock off the proselytizing. As I said in Number One, not everyone here is a Witch.
In answer to Number One, this philosophy can and should stand independently of how one identifies with oneself. Can you think of a religion or philosophy that teaches people to be victims? I can't. In answer to Number Two, why does she have to be "given" the right to vent? She has it, just as much as you have the right to express your disagreement with it.

In answer to Number Three, I would say that you can choose a course of action such as "working for an ass" and still not allow that ass to control your reactions or your moods. Assume control of your own feelings and reactions. Yes, I know it isn't easy. ;) But then, nothing worth doing ever is.

I totally agree with you on Number Four (see my post above). In answer to Number Five, though, I don't think she was proselytizing at all. **Shrugs** If you felt she was, I hope you reported the post, since proselytizing is not allowed here. :)


As far as being offensive to rape/abuse survivors, the biggest lesson one must learn is that one cannot begin truly healing until one lets go of being a victim. I have been raped. I have been abused. I am not a victim. I am a survivor. I was only a victim as long as I chose to be, and as long as I chose to be, I could be nothing else.
And this is the distinction Sabrina is trying to make, I think. As long as you're busy crying "poor me," you can't fix whatever you need to fix in your life, and you can't develop any further than that. It's like a plant that's stuck in the same pot even after its roots congest themselves--until you recognize that "victimhood" is an unhealthy and unnecessary constraint upon who you are, you can't grow and prosper as you could otherwise.

[Phoenix Blue]

That's why I don't bother. I just mentally note the name of the people and try not to get wrapped up with them at any point.
Damn skippy. Ignore lists are very beneficial to one's mental health. If only they had them in real life. . . :p

[Erebus]

Damn skippy. Ignore lists are very beneficial to one's mental health. If only they had them in real life. . . :p

Ain't that the truth. I'm sure my boss wouldn't appreciate it, tho. :p

[Sabrina]

If you really sit down and thing about it, though, it probably could have been predicted. You probably know as well as anyone just how violently most victims react to the word "victim". You probably also know that many people with a victim mentality actually like to see pretty much everything as a direct attack on them - so they get to be even MORE the victim. It's a comfortable role to fall into. You get sympathy and support without ever actually having to listen to anyone push you to change things.

You say: "Stop whining, pick yourself up, and get on with life!!!"
Victimy Person says: "You think I'm whining! You don't care! Quit persecuting me! WAAH!"

That's why I don't bother. I just mentally note the name of the people and try not to get wrapped up with them at any point. Kudos and luck to you for trying, tho.


<<hugs>> Erebus.....
that made me laugh and I found comfort and friendship in your words.
What a great post to find first thing this morning.
:thewave: For like minds!
Truth is when you make firm statements - you're shooting 50/50 for response anyway. Harsh and cold fact is simply this...the more people who Need the message are the ones that are fighting the delivery and skipping the meaning. No...not surprised just as you say.

Thanks
vigilant as I am to my purpose.......
:bouncingb
Sabrina

[LadyTrinity]

Heaven forbid if you ever got rapped and were the one posting on side of the victem. You wouldnt understand unless the shoe was on the other foot.
Not all life's choices are choosen ones. Sometimes you cannot prevent something from happening. :strike:

[Sabrina]

Heaven forbid if you ever got rapped and were the one posting on side of the victem. You wouldnt understand unless the shoe was on the other foot.
Not all life's choices are choosen ones. Sometimes you cannot prevent something from happening. :strike:


Apparently you have not read the entire thread.
I am a rape victim.
And I have addressed this issue already.

As a point of interest I don't think posting what I felt was important enough a subject matter should be based upon qualification. This is a public board where folks discuss freely their feelings regarding various matters - that is all that has occurred.
Heaven forbid that any of us have to further qualify our rights to have opinions.

What I have witnessed during these past weeks of visiting several message boards had painted a very clear picture for me. I was witnessing many of my fellow pagans accepting the victim role in life and forgetting that it is their decision to empower another to influence them. Not eveything is as tidy as we'd like it to be. Sometimes messages aren't nice for they aren't meant to be nice. This isn't about my not understanding what feeling victim is like - I do. So ...in effort TO qualify myself to speak on such matters -If I have understood first hand what being or assuming a victim role in life is like and have found that that translated to empowering others - should I NOT try and share what helped me change that in my life?
I was commenting on what I've seen too often and offered suggestion that people remember to hold onto their own power. Not a speech. Not a directive but earnest plea that people remember to hold onto their own power. It was an attempt to explain something that I felt would help others.

Sincerely,
Sabrina

[Shanti]

<<hugs>> Erebus.....
that made me laugh and I found comfort and friendship in your words.
What a great post to find first thing this morning.
:thewave: For like minds!
Truth is when you make firm statements - you're shooting 50/50 for response anyway. Harsh and cold fact is simply this...the more people who Need the message are the ones that are fighting the delivery and skipping the meaning. No...not surprised just as you say.

Thanks
vigilant as I am to my purpose.......
:bouncingb
Sabrina
That in my opinion is a funny statement as I defend many people abd I am not even one of them!!!!!!!!!

I love getting grouped in this way!!(sarcasm)

I never have been stuck in victumhood, but defend the week. I have never mean manic, yet I defend them. I have never had a mental illness, and yet I defend them.

I also have never been over weight and yet I defend them. I am not gay, and yet I defend them. I didnt growm up abused, yet defend those that were.

Why, because I belief in fair and kind treatment for all law abiding citizens.
(and in some cases, even ones that break some law)

Its amazing how many people group others and lable them and judge them.

[Lunacie]

Sabrina... the Dr. Phil of the internet. ;) People seem to either love him or hate him. That's okay, life isn't a popularity contest, eh? Dr. Phil doesn't seem to take it personally when people hate him. For me, a little of his abrasive personality goes a long way, but I don't hate him.

[Phoenix Blue]

I never have been stuck in victumhood, but defend the week. I have never mean manic, yet I defend them. I have never had a mental illness, and yet I defend them.
That's your choice. Similarly, some folks choose to be weak because that gains them attention and allows them to take advantage of others' compassion.

[pawnman]

I just responded to someone on the "Energy Request" board -
and I feel the subject matter warrents a thread all it's own, for I see this sort of thing from time to time.......

Rule one - people - Witches are NOT Victims!

(Geesh...makes me feel like I am ranting)
Sorry if this is coming across rather harshly - but dammit I just read WAaaaay too much of this these days. And not necessarily here on Mystic Wicks....
but I do see this - weekly - posted somewhere in the world.

I NEED to say this outloud and with great emphasis for I feel the attitude is sorely lacking in adopting this theory.
Now, I don't know if the books we buy and read are Not getting this message across, If we're too into self pity mode to care enough to keep ourselves afloat in our own lives, or if there are some Really lousy teachers out there who forget one of the fundamental rules about witchcraft
(but getting to the root of the problem is simply not my job)

What IS my job (bad choice of words I admit - sorry) But what IS important to me is to say this about as loudly as I possibly can....
Witches are NOT Victims.

Let's look at it this way - ok? When you empower another person enough to truly affect you....You are giving your power away. Doesnt matter if it's your friends, your boss, your neighbor, your mother, your husband, your girlfriend.....
even your children.....

YOU decide (no one is perfect buttttt) YOU decide what you are going to accomplish today and tomorrow and the day after that. Period. Getting into the very bad habit of beggin off that you did not achieve x,y or Z is a very Christian mentality. Christians base their existance very much so on a God that offers up justice, patience, blessings, or punishment and totally runs the show....
witches don't think this way.

WE are responsible for ourselves. .....our choices and our decisions.
Right down the the most brief moment.

Period.

Now, of course things come along sometimes we didn't foresee, for few of us do personal divination all day long, everyday...
so things can take us by surprise. Then we have to deal with certain issues when they arise - granted.
However, I really do see far too often people who profess to practice witchcraft right along beside me, when they are rather far removed from the attitude and lifestyle that befits a witch.

So - allow me the luxury of ranting and beg that maybe I had a need to serve as a reminder to you today...that IF (big if I know) YOU ARE NOT living from within as a witch should...
take this as just the loving reminder - Irish Mom style - and get your witchiness together.

Don't let someone else determine what you Do or do not feel.....what you do or do not get out of life.
Remember you EMPOWER another person when you allow them to determine even something as small as your Mood for the day.

Choose who you will and who you will NOT empower around you. The decisions are Yours and belong to No one else BUT you.

k............rant over.
LOL

Sometimes I have good things to say and am no professed expert in my delivery. So forgive me if I come across harshly.....

I'm just selfish...I want everyone to be witchy and happy so that all of our lives are good and productive...that makes me look smart for being your friend...
:spinner: :spinner: :spinner:


cheers
Sabrina

Allow me to offer a little support. I agree with you. In fact, my buddy and I hijacked an entire political pagan thread to talk about it. And no one agreed with us there, either. Here's that one, if you want to have a look: http://www.mysticwicks.com/showthread.php?t=57959
(we didn't get into the responsibility argument until post 250 or so).

But, I get what you are trying to say. That it seems that many of the people come to the boards as the first way to solve every little problem. And while I will also agree that many of the postings seem to take on the tone of "I'm the victim" (victim of circumstances, not violent crime, for you lawyer-types), perhaps we should also consider that posting in the "energy requests" thread is merely one component of their attempted solution. If I lost my job, sure, I'd post a thread in there about it. But I'd also be on Hotjobs, Monster, Dice, and any other job boards I could find, I'd be in the classifieds, knocking on doors, etc. So keep that in mind as well.

But for the most part, I'm with you. It does seem that "pagans", as a whole, carry much more of a "victim" mentality than the population at large. I wonder why that is?

[pawnman]

I don't entirely disagree with the main point of Sabrina's post, my problem with it is that if I had reached out and asked for energy, I would not have been amused by someone starting a new thread about it..I agree that we are responsible for how we react to a situation,but we are not responsible for every situation that happens to us. sometimes things pile up on us and we need to reach out to other people who are on our side for support or help..that doesn't mean that you see yourself as a victim. Maybe I am misunderstanding, but I thought that this was a little insensitive.

Which is, perhaps, why she didn't tell us which person inspired her tirade.

[Shanti]

That's your choice. Similarly, some folks choose to be weak because that gains them attention and allows them to take advantage of others' compassion.
Some, not ALL!

[Shanti]

"Dont judge another man till you have walked a mile in his moccasins."

[pawnman]

"Dont judge another man till you have walked a mile in his moccasins."

That way, when you do judge him, you're a mile away, and you have his moccasins.

[Shanti]

That way, when you do judge him, you're a mile away, and you have his moccasins. Thats an old comeback.

I cant believe how judgemental some people have become lately.

[Earthy]

I've got to admit,i liked to wallow in my own self pity for a while.I did see myself as a victim for a long time.I don't exactly know when the change came about but i'm stronger now.There times when i need a little added strength but i usually pm my friends here and chat about it,or ask for support.Don't know what the point i'm trying to make here.I've learnt to take responsibility for my own life but i wouldn't shun those who haven't found that strength yet :)

Pawnman,you crack me up.:)

[pawnman]

Thats an old comeback.

I cant believe how judgemental some people have become lately.

Sometimes the old ways are best.

Sorry, Shanti, I couldn't resist! :bigblue:

[Shanti]

Sometimes the old ways are best.

Sorry, Shanti, I couldn't resist! :bigblue:
Ok, I understand the that you couldnt resist...
So I guess I wont hold it against you this time.....:deviltail

[Erebus]

But for the most part, I'm with you. It does seem that "pagans", as a whole, carry much more of a "victim" mentality than the population at large. I wonder why that is?

Two words:

Burning Times.

Paganism has a whole lot of members who look at this very public (but very vague and highly fictionalized) mass persecution and are drawn to the religion because they get to be in the "Most Persecuted" religion (but with an easier conversion process than becoming Jewish).

The fact that the myth of the Burning Times is still so widespread and hotly defended as fact in much of the pagan community is a testament to the seductive power of the victim mentality.

You don't see ever Christians sporting bumper stickers that say "Never Again the Lion-Chow Times". And they probably have a bigger beef, since, you know, Christians were actually the primary target.

Point being, some folks get off on the perception of their own unfair persecution, and paganism draws in a whole bunch of 'em because they believe it to have the best ratio of "easy to join" to "amount of historical and modern persecution". In spite of the fact that most of the persecution is sketchy at best and downright nonexistant at worst.

[Edit: PS - Hey, Pawnman, can I call a karma-tag time-out? I'm going to be in and out randomly for the next few days....]

[Holly Ariadna]

Getting into the very bad habit of beggin off that you did not achieve x,y or Z is a very Christian mentality. Christians base their existance very much so on a God that offers up justice, patience, blessings, or punishment and totally runs the show....
witches don't think this way.

Hey!! I can tell you that I'm a Catholic Witch, and I don't blame what I do not achieve on God. That's such a generalization.

[Sabrina]

Ok - since my initial message I felt was valid enough to put up a post - I'm going to attempt to re-post the thought again.
For the simple reason, that I feel that many people did NOT get my meaning, nor hear the message I intended. I am sorry that I was not more eloquent in my delivery the first go around so that the intention was clear.

In the past several weeks - on many many message boards I visit - I've seen a re-occuring issue come up. Time and again I have read from folks who are being victimized in their lives in one way or another. Feeling a need to try and remind people that letting go of their power does NOT have to occur so frequently to them.....I tried to post about "not empowering others".

<DISCLAIMER>
Please note: This is(are) my opinion(s) - and I am sharing an observation. Period.
This is Not meant as a personal slander nor personal observation towards any particular person, whatsoever. This IS intended as a GENERAL observation, ONLY. If you DO NOT fit into this catagory of letting others have power over you - then my message is not FOR you - right? IF you read some wisdom and insight from that I write about Empowering others in your life - and I can do you some good - then that HAS to be a good thing - right? Hopefully, as was the initial intention - if You are letting others have too much control over you even in small matters in life and this post can help remind you that only You should decide what's for you...then I hope I help - even a little.

Empowering others (IN MY OPINION) is another way of not making decisions for yourself. It keeps you in victim mode and allows many things to occur during your life. One of the biggest things that occurs is this: You can at any time throw your hands into the air and go "Woe is me...so and so did x,y,z..." taking the opportunity for responsibility out of your hands. Now, while this concept is easier than making ALL your own choices, TO ME this is similar to what I view as a Christian mentality. (I WAS RAISED BAPTIST) I saw all through my childhood people who constantly threw their hands in the air with a "God's will" sort of attitude. When even as a child - I remember thinking "no YOU made that choice."

TO me being pagan means in part that we are responsible for our own actions. That is part of our spirituality. We are divine, we work WITH divine energies...not victim OF divine energies. There's no white haired God sitting on some cloud handing out absolution or forginess or understanding of my Human ways...
not in my witchcraft anyway. So I (being pagan and witch) Don't have the luxury of begging off under the heading of "human behavior, human weakness or human fraility". I think the God and Goddess granted me skills, like reason and responsibility. And I think I should live up to my potential.

If I allow another person to have such control over me that translates into my NOT taking responsibility for myself.
For example: My husband: Jim can take me from a good mood to a poor mood very quickly. He can. I love him and value his reactions to me. But WHEN he does or says something that can change MY MOOD.....
I don't Blame him for it. I "Allowed" Jim to alter my mood. I am not persecuted BY him. And therefore by accepting that it is MY Choice for my Mood to be changed, I accept responsibility for my OWN mood.....and don't go around whining "how Jim is so mean to me" etc.

My kids: Some days they are very easy to live with and sometimes not. But on those days when they "act up" - I don't feel victimized by them. My life isn't bad. I CHOSE to have children and knew what that would bring about in my life. I DONT complain about how my life would have been better had I not had kids. IT was MY Decision to give birth.....not theirs and I dont make them feel bad for having been born.

Point is this: Instead of complaining or whining about the many facets of my life - I know on whatever level I'm dealing with that I made each decision...
like the decision to post again what I hope may help some people here today.
I am making THIS decision to post. The reaction or response to this post is MINE. Period.

Empowering:
IF I were to say instead lay claim that JIM can "make" me have a good day or bad day then I empower JIM To control that decision.
But I dont want to do that.
If I'm in a bad mood due to something he said or did......I remind myself that it is MY decision to let him affect me in a certain way. I own it. I keep my power.

Learning to keep your power time and again is Not an easy task. But in doing so you are (1) taking responsibility for your own life (2) Stopping victim status in your life and (3) Learning more each day to have expectations of yourself and Living UP to your own expectations.

How can that be a bad thing?
Well, it's not...it's a good thing.

If more people would take responsibility for their own actions and their own decisions many things could be helped.
Like now for example:
You have a choice:
You can choose to BE a victim and feel all hurt because my message here isn't easy to read perhaps for you'd rather BE a victim and say "Sabrina said cruel things"...
or
You can remind yourself that it is totally YOUR decision how you recieve this message. And find the hope and purpose - not to mention - Love with which it was posted to support and help you.

I know different people have different opinions about what being victim really means. That's a given. What I am trying to point out is simply a reminder that ALLOWING others to have diminion OVER you...down to your very mood...IS giving away some of your power. You are empowering others when you LET them affect you. Trying to gain control over your life is part of what I believe following the path of witchcraft or paganisim is about. This is just my opinion. And opnions are like ### holes - everybody has them - right? LOL
But if I can help just ONE person by posting to ""KEEP your own power" and one person thinks twice before letting someone ruin their day - for they've read a reminder that it is THEIR decision how they Spend that day -
then I've helped someone.

Which was my misunderstood original intent.
I sincerely hope that re-posting this message will shed some light on my original post. That more people will choose to see the meaning.

If you choose to be hurt by my suggestion - then perhaps that's a strong indication that my reminder of "dont let aother person take your power" Is in fact For you.
Taking my message as as "hey, I could use that idea more in my life" is a healthy reaction and doesn't mean you are weak or needy or a bad person or bad pagan. It simply means - we're all processing and growing and learning together. I spent a great deal many years learning to live up to my own expectations and learning NOT to be the victim - one situation at a time. I'm not saying this is easy.....And I'm not saying that everyone HAS to do this. From the get-go this has been meant as a helpful suggestion for I see many of my brothers and sisters living as victims instead of claiming responsibility in their own lives. And I'm sorry that so many people have been offended by my observation - but what I've seen is sad and true. So I have tried to post something meaningful and helpful and purposeful so that IF there's anyone out there that needed this message - I did something to help them.

If anyone wishes more help in learning more about taking responsibility for their own actions and learning this concept of "NOT Empowering Others" in thier lives -
I've already started communicating with some in private message in order to help them do so.
If you continue to be put off by my post and think I'm trying to hurt people -
then I don't know what to tell you - except for I think You've missed my point entirely.

Hope this helps.
SIncerely,
Sabrina

[pawnman]

Ok - since my initial message I felt was valid enough to put up a post - I'm going to attempt to re-post the thought again.
For the simple reason, that I feel that many people did NOT get my meaning, nor hear the message I intended. I am sorry that I was not more eloquent in my delivery the first go around so that the intention was clear.

In the past several weeks - on many many message boards I visit - I've seen a re-occuring issue come up. Time and again I have read from folks who are being victimized in their lives in one way or another. Feeling a need to try and remind people that letting go of their power does NOT have to occur so frequently to them.....I tried to post about "not empowering others".

<DISCLAIMER>
Please note: This is(are) my opinion(s) - and I am sharing an observation. Period.
This is Not meant as a personal slander nor personal observation towards any particular person, whatsoever. This IS intended as a GENERAL observation, ONLY. If you DO NOT fit into this catagory of letting others have power over you - then my message is not FOR you - right? IF you read some wisdom and insight from that I write about Empowering others in your life - and I can do you some good - then that HAS to be a good thing - right? Hopefully, as was the initial intention - if You are letting others have too much control over you even in small matters in life and this post can help remind you that only You should decide what's for you...then I hope I help - even a little.

Empowering others (IN MY OPINION) is another way of not making decisions for yourself. It keeps you in victim mode and allows many things to occur during your life. One of the biggest things that occurs is this: You can at any time throw your hands into the air and go "Woe is me...so and so did x,y,z..." taking the opportunity for responsibility out of your hands. Now, while this concept is easier than making ALL your own choices, TO ME this is similar to what I view as a Christian mentality. (I WAS RAISED BAPTIST) I saw all through my childhood people who constantly threw their hands in the air with a "God's will" sort of attitude. When even as a child - I remember thinking "no YOU made that choice."

TO me being pagan means in part that we are responsible for our own actions. That is part of our spirituality. We are divine, we work WITH divine energies...not victim OF divine energies. There's no white haired God sitting on some cloud handing out absolution or forginess or understanding of my Human ways...
not in my witchcraft anyway. So I (being pagan and witch) Don't have the luxury of begging off under the heading of "human behavior, human weakness or human fraility". I think the God and Goddess granted me skills, like reason and responsibility. And I think I should live up to my potential.

If I allow another person to have such control over me that translates into my NOT taking responsibility for myself.
For example: My husband: Jim can take me from a good mood to a poor mood very quickly. He can. I love him and value his reactions to me. But WHEN he does or says something that can change MY MOOD.....
I don't Blame him for it. I "Allowed" Jim to alter my mood. I am not persecuted BY him. And therefore by accepting that it is MY Choice for my Mood to be changed, I accept responsibility for my OWN mood.....and don't go around whining "how Jim is so mean to me" etc.

My kids: Some days they are very easy to live with and sometimes not. But on those days when they "act up" - I don't feel victimized by them. My life isn't bad. I CHOSE to have children and knew what that would bring about in my life. I DONT complain about how my life would have been better had I not had kids. IT was MY Decision to give birth.....not theirs and I dont make them feel bad for having been born.

Point is this: Instead of complaining or whining about the many facets of my life - I know on whatever level I'm dealing with that I made each decision...
like the decision to post again what I hope may help some people here today.
I am making THIS decision to post. The reaction or response to this post is MINE. Period.

Empowering:
IF I were to say instead lay claim that JIM can "make" me have a good day or bad day then I empower JIM To control that decision.
But I dont want to do that.
If I'm in a bad mood due to something he said or did......I remind myself that it is MY decision to let him affect me in a certain way. I own it. I keep my power.

Learning to keep your power time and again is Not an easy task. But in doing so you are (1) taking responsibility for your own life (2) Stopping victim status in your life and (3) Learning more each day to have expectations of yourself and Living UP to your own expectations.

How can that be a bad thing?
Well, it's not...it's a good thing.

If more people would take responsibility for their own actions and their own decisions many things could be helped.
Like now for example:
You have a choice:
You can choose to BE a victim and feel all hurt because my message here isn't easy to read perhaps for you'd rather BE a victim and say "Sabrina said cruel things"...
or
You can remind yourself that it is totally YOUR decision how you recieve this message. And find the hope and purpose - not to mention - Love with which it was posted to support and help you.

I know different people have different opinions about what being victim really means. That's a given. What I am trying to point out is simply a reminder that ALLOWING others to have diminion OVER you...down to your very mood...IS giving away some of your power. You are empowering others when you LET them affect you. Trying to gain control over your life is part of what I believe following the path of witchcraft or paganisim is about. This is just my opinion. And opnions are like ### holes - everybody has them - right? LOL
But if I can help just ONE person by posting to ""KEEP your own power" and one person thinks twice before letting someone ruin their day - for they've read a reminder that it is THEIR decision how they Spend that day -
then I've helped someone.

Which was my misunderstood original intent.
I sincerely hope that re-posting this message will shed some light on my original post. That more people will choose to see the meaning.

If you choose to be hurt by my suggestion - then perhaps that's a strong indication that my reminder of "dont let aother person take your power" Is in fact For you.
Taking my message as as "hey, I could use that idea more in my life" is a healthy reaction and doesn't mean you are weak or needy or a bad person or bad pagan. It simply means - we're all processing and growing and learning together. I spent a great deal many years learning to live up to my own expectations and learning NOT to be the victim - one situation at a time. I'm not saying this is easy.....And I'm not saying that everyone HAS to do this. From the get-go this has been meant as a helpful suggestion for I see many of my brothers and sisters living as victims instead of claiming responsibility in their own lives. And I'm sorry that so many people have been offended by my observation - but what I've seen is sad and true. So I have tried to post something meaningful and helpful and purposeful so that IF there's anyone out there that needed this message - I did something to help them.

If anyone wishes more help in learning more about taking responsibility for their own actions and learning this concept of "NOT Empowering Others" in thier lives -
I've already started communicating with some in private message in order to help them do so.
If you continue to be put off by my post and think I'm trying to hurt people -
then I don't know what to tell you - except for I think You've missed my point entirely.

Hope this helps.
SIncerely,
Sabrina

I understand you, and I support you. I can now say that I support you 100%, now that you've cleared up some of the gray areas. Preach it, sister!
:bigblue:

[Sabrina]

Glad you liked the additional writings. I hope more people understand now what I was trying to say. It blows my mind sometimes when someone takes Sooo negatively something I was trying to help with that was intended as positive. Feels like I'm speaking pig-latin or some reversed language. LOL
Which (for me) somedays is entirely possible. I don't always do a good job of saying what I need to.

thanks for the help
Sabrina

[pawnman]

Glad you liked the additional writings. I hope more people understand now what I was trying to say. It blows my mind sometimes when someone takes Sooo negatively something I was trying to help with that was intended as positive. Feels like I'm speaking pig-latin or some reversed language. LOL
Which (for me) somedays is entirely possible. I don't always do a good job of saying what I need to.

thanks for the help
Sabrina

You really want to feel attacked, try spending a day in political pagan with a conservative attitude. That's my world. :lol:

[Phoenix Blue]

Bah. :p Suck it up, LT-to-be.

[Sabrina]

You really want to feel attacked, try spending a day in political pagan with a conservative attitude. That's my world. :lol:

See how limited I really am? I am unfamiliar with this group of which you speak. PM me with the information - Not that I should join. I'm not particularly political in my paganism....but now I'm curious, though. LOL

And to clarify - I don't really feel attacked persay as much as have felt misunderstood. The problem arose I think in my initial post having a "directive" feel to it. Now, while speaking harshly and out of patience with what had me troubled WAS rather the point: I could have tried to get it said with a softer tone, I suppose.
For future reference - I've learned that folks here at Mystic Wicks are more accustomed to a more gentle attitude and bristle when your tone gets abrasive.
I still think those who bristled the most are the ones where I somehow struck a nerve.
It's just the Irish in me that causes me to somedays cut through the muck and mire with a pretty sharp knife of verbiage. Pussyfooting around was never my strong suit.

but I know now...If I feel I've somthing important to get said - Find a nice way to say it here or people will baulk at the delivery and miss the message entirely.

we all learn - in our own way and in our own time....yes?

Cheers
Sabrina

[Nighthawk]

Awwww, it's okay, Sabrina... We all get over it. We all learn.

[Lunacie]

Okay, this is just me, from what I've seen on this discussion board and others, but I think when people deliver a harsh message, although their heart may be in the right place, what they are really thinking is that they know what is best for someone else. And they may be right about it, but who wants to be told "What you're doing is stupid so do this instead"? I'm not picking on you Sabrina, just sharing my observations and my feelings, okay?

[zakzekezedd]

OK, in my opinion what it all comes down to is recognizing the things in our lives we do have control over and taking responsibility for them. I can not control the fact that "Jim" or anyone else is basically a jerk..I can control how I react to that individual. I can not control the fact that the company I work for decides to lay off 300 employees and move the jobs to Mexico, I can control how I react to that news. Life smacks all of us alongside the head with a ball bat every so often, and when it happens we have two basic choices: 1) take the hit and then get up and keep on going (even if we can't see straight and are staggering a bit), or 2) curl up in a little ball and do the "poor, poor pitiful me" routine. I know a lot of people who are "professional" victims, they thrive on the attention the "poor, poor pitiful me" routine gets them. I generally avoid them like housework because being around them is such a complete drain. I have great sympathy for anyone who is going through a rotten time of it at home, at work, with their health, their relationships, or whatever. The people who I really respect and admire though are the ones who even when they get knocked down, get back up and keep trying at least.

[Sabrina]

Life smacks all of us alongside the head with a ball bat every so often, and when it happens we have two basic choices: 1) take the hit and then get up and keep on going (even if we can't see straight and are staggering a bit), or 2) curl up in a little ball and do the "poor, poor pitiful me" routine. I know a lot of people who are "professional" victims, they thrive on the attention the "poor, poor pitiful me" routine gets them. I generally avoid them like housework because being around them is such a complete drain. I have great sympathy for anyone who is going through a rotten time of it at home, at work, with their health, their relationships, or whatever. The people who I really respect and admire though are the ones who even when they get knocked down, get back up and keep trying at least.

Wow - wish you'd written the original post LOL - that might have kicked off my purpose for wishing to write about this in a MUCH better light!
Well said!......Incredibly well said......
:thewave:
If more people could adapt your thoughts and emotion to the theory of what playing victim means - the world would be a better place.
cheers - thank you for adding the puncuation at the end of my point.
:clapping:
Sabrina

[zakzekezedd]

You're welcome. There was an amazing essay written many years ago about this topic..not as it applies to witches or wiccans or pagans, but just the whole idea that America (in the writer's mind) was fast becoming a nation of "victims". Everything that was wrong was "someone" else's fault and another "someone" else's responsibility to "fix"--but not "mine". I've always regretted not saving the essay (it was in a Life magazine) because the author made such an eloquent point about the necessity of accepting personal responsibilty and accountability for our own actions and choices. Not the idea of laying guilt or blame, just the necessity of accepting responsibility for our own mistakes and failures..and yes, for our successes and acheivements.