Croning! When are you ready?

[Shatril]

I was once told that you were not ready to be pronounced a crone until you felt like you had something to pass on to future generations. I have been wondering what are the signs that you are ready for your croning? I'm sure there are other signs, but I'm not sure what they are. I'm not sure that I'm ready, but I think I may be getting close to it. I would like some crones and near crones advice on this. If you have any ideas about the ritual portion please offer that as well. :huddle: Group Hug to All.

[Shatril]

No answer yet? Are all the crones in bed still? :megaphone WAKE UP EVERYONE

[Shanti]

Well I always thought that once your past menopause, you are a crone, old. Whether your a wise crone or not I would think would be the question, which only you can answer. I consider myself a crone in the making since I am in the process of my change of life.

[dreamingmystic]

I have been wondering what are the signs that you are ready for your croning. I'm not sure that I'm ready, but I think I may be getting close to it. I would like some crones and near crones advice on this. If you have any ideas about the ritual portion please offer that as well. :huddle: Group Hug to All.
Generally, one reaches Cronehood when you are entering menepause, around 50 or so. Cronehood comes in stages in some traditions. A woman just entering Cronehood is a young Crone and when one reaches the age of 56, it is entering the wise age. "when her Saturn has returned twice to her natal point" in astrological terms. There are rituals associatiated with these stages. Any celebration of this stage is welcomed, preferably in the Fall, harvest time when we celebrate remembering what we have done over the years.

Invite some women friends (or enlighted males, ones who were not afraid to buy Tampax for you:whatgives ) young and older. Have some wine or other 'spirit', Meade for example can be made or whatever you like. It doesn't have to be alcoholic, Apple cider or fruit drinks would be just as good. Music and candles of course. Rituals can be varied and what ever feels comfortable for you. Candles could be black as it symbolizes the dark mysteries associated with the crone and four Red to celebrate the end of menstruation. Light the first red candle for the bloods that are gone, the second one in thanks for children (if you have children, omit the word children and just use health or something that was learned recently) the third candle is for entering womanhood and the fourth for the labors and difficulties you have endured in life.

A cauldran, or dark pot a traditional symbol of the crone, can be used to simmer herbs or you can use insense such as Sandlewood or some other earthy scent, pictures to pass around of key points in the crone's life, such as weddings, childrens birthdays, career milestone, anything that marks passages or pictures of you and your friends. Do a clensing rituals, either burn some Sage and pass it through your house saying 'I call on the gods and goddess to protect this house and friends herein' or something that you are comfortable with, or cast a circle. Call on the Quarters, and the gods as chosen by the crone. State a purpose of the ritual, such as enlightenment or just blessing the people around you who are helping you celebrate this rite of passage. When comfortable the black candle is passed to each of the guests, who relate something about your life, a memory or achievements or something personnal that a friend might want to say.

There are a lot of advantages to getting older and it shouldn't be seen by the new medical problems like arthritis that pop up at this time, it should be seen as time where you can start to relax and look into things you may have always wanted to, but were restricted because of responsibilties with children, husband, working and running a household. This is the time to start concentrating on yourself a little more than you probably had time for before.

Groups and organizations are always looking for people to volunteer and relate your experiences with life changing episode, like divorce, grieving and such. If you enjoy dealing with kids, volunteer at your local library to set up a story telling group. This is a time to reap the rewards of sacrifices made. Tutoring or couseling is another option. As a crone, people will look to you for counsel. After all attitudes change. For example, you find yourself loosing tolerance for some things and gaining it for others, you are not as concerned with what others think of you as you were when younger, (like the angst of the teenager) It's a time to look back on your achievements and look at what you consider failures or regrets and see it as a learning experience. There's a certain amount of freedom that comes with crornehood.
Enjoy it.:fpartyfav

[grnpuffer]

It has nothing to do with biological age or biology unless that is how YOU identify yourself.

Everything has a season.
the maiden is exploring/learning/absorbing.
the mother creates the community. She is provides leadership either of a group of people/coven, her community or a nation. Starhawk is well into her 50s yet she is still quite the public leader. Some of the most effective public leaders in my pagan community are well into their 60s and beyond (gods! where do they get the energy??). What they do is expansive: they teach, design, lead, coordinate, communicate.

A crone is a person who has moved past the need for external exansion/expression of her power. Her power turns inward. This is a person who understands well what it means to teach, lead and coordinate, but those activities no longer support her (or his) growth.

My public phase ended by my late thirties. Prior to that transition, I was a busy coven leader, taught public classes, coordinated public rituals and events. My transition pretty much fit the formula.
*A personal recognition that spirituality is not a social sport (I haven't even attended a public ritual in over 15 yrs).
*Sufficient skill and experience to engage in deeper and more sophisticated spiritual practices. The progress from those practices in turn becomes more demanding of one's attention and it drives a hunger to dive deeper/higher. There just isn't brain or energy space to maintain an interest in the pagan/magical community anymore.
*I've disappeared from radar in my community.

I am, of course, happy to serve my community any time I'm called in any way I can. However, I've been amused to watch the transition in the types of requests I've gotten. I don't get called to teach wicca 101- type classes any more... I suppose its because the community is bursting at the seams with folks who can. I get calls from groups who want training in obscure or unconventional practices and it's been a hell of a challenge to give them what I can. It's been a real insight into how a community makes it's old wise women!!

You may not have had the good fortune of a community experience as a way to evaluate your growth. However, are you still at the maiden stage in your spiritual development? are you still seeking out information from books and others to build your experiences? Are you still hoping that somebody else outside yourself will give you the information to make you whole? Or are you at a place where you've sold your books because your inner experience and ownership of your personal growth is all you need (or can handle)? Is your own inner music the only symphony in your ear and is it clear and strong and sweet? I think a person is not a crone or a mage if they are still in motion, still seeking. I think a person is a crone when they've found the still point of their own divine being and the are at peace. I truly believe this is what is important.

Best wishes on your journey
Cheers!

[dreamingmystic]

I think that is a beautiful definition of a crone.

I see the crone as someone who as obtained some confidence in her own person, which I see coming as one ages, in the general sense as I have come acrosse younger people even in their 20's that seem very self assured and comfortable in their own skin, but they are few and far between. I still see wisdom coming with age when one is supposed to have figured a lot out in their own lives. I like the idea of the traditional crone. Not the one of fantasy made up by people who don't know any better of the old hag type of image.

If you look at the media, in the U.S. at least, it's inundated with youth, ad's are targeted to youth except for facial products that reduce the signs of aging or arthritis meds and the like. Programming also is geared to the young. It's the way it always has been here as far as I can remember. British t.v. seems to be unafraid to depict older people in starring roles that are creative and vital. Many people seem to resist growing older anyway they can. I know I was shocked when I turned 50 but I got over it and saw it as just another stage of life. Maiden, mother and crone are great ways of recognizing the stages or circle we all need to go through and it's a part of growing.

Community service can be rewarding and fulfilling as I have found out and it's a good learning experience as well. And a great way to interact with others and learn about the community. A true Celtic sense of community.

It's great that you have people in your community that are like minded. Where I live, it is devoid of a creative or imaginitive energy. It's a small, christian community more than anything else, either that or I just haven't found it yet, though I've been here for some 30 years or more.

[Shatril]

Well the crone stage is one that is certainly teaching me as much as the maiden and mother taught. The lessons are different, for sure, but at least now I know that I don't know anything. The ritual that you described dreamingmystic sounds like a good idea. I was wondering what the Saturn return would bring. I remember my first one. That was the year that I finally grew into my body. It was quite the rollercoaster ride, but when it settled out, I was much better for it. It was all good.

Shatril :chatty:

[Phi]

It has nothing to do with biological age or biology unless that is how YOU identify yourself.

Everything has a season.
the maiden is exploring/learning/absorbing.
the mother creates the community. She is provides leadership either of a group of people/coven, her community or a nation. Starhawk is well into her 50s yet she is still quite the public leader. Some of the most effective public leaders in my pagan community are well into their 60s and beyond (gods! where do they get the energy??). What they do is expansive: they teach, design, lead, coordinate, communicate.

A crone is a person who has moved past the need for external exansion/expression of her power. Her power turns inward. This is a person who understands well what it means to teach, lead and coordinate, but those activities no longer support her (or his) growth.

My public phase ended by my late thirties. Prior to that transition, I was a busy coven leader, taught public classes, coordinated public rituals and events. My transition pretty much fit the formula.
*A personal recognition that spirituality is not a social sport (I haven't even attended a public ritual in over 15 yrs).
*Sufficient skill and experience to engage in deeper and more sophisticated spiritual practices. The progress from those practices in turn becomes more demanding of one's attention and it drives a hunger to dive deeper/higher. There just isn't brain or energy space to maintain an interest in the pagan/magical community anymore.
*I've disappeared from radar in my community.

I am, of course, happy to serve my community any time I'm called in any way I can. However, I've been amused to watch the transition in the types of requests I've gotten. I don't get called to teach wicca 101- type classes any more... I suppose its because the community is bursting at the seams with folks who can. I get calls from groups who want training in obscure or unconventional practices and it's been a hell of a challenge to give them what I can. It's been a real insight into how a community makes it's old wise women!!

You may not have had the good fortune of a community experience as a way to evaluate your growth. However, are you still at the maiden stage in your spiritual development? are you still seeking out information from books and others to build your experiences? Are you still hoping that somebody else outside yourself will give you the information to make you whole? Or are you at a place where you've sold your books because your inner experience and ownership of your personal growth is all you need (or can handle)? Is your own inner music the only symphony in your ear and is it clear and strong and sweet? I think a person is not a crone or a mage if they are still in motion, still seeking. I think a person is a crone when they've found the still point of their own divine being and the are at peace. I truly believe this is what is important.

Best wishes on your journey

Cheers!I must stop here a moment to disagree, for croning is not about having all the understanding that one needs. Since my path is that of Seeker, and has been so since my babyhood, and will continue to be so until I die that does not mean that I am staying a maiden!
On the contrary!
The wisest persons to me are the ones who do stay active in their learning, who continue to reach out for more and more knowledge, who never believe that they have come to a point of having enough, or too much, or all there is, or all one needs. For there is no one capable of knowing all there is to know, and continuing to learn and understand the ways of others is important.

Perhaps you have reached a plateau in your learning rather than a finishing point? Perhaps being willing to submit yourself to being a newbie at some other table would help you to move forward. Perhaps you have learned all you can from your path, but you cannot have learned all there is to know of every path. Maybe learning then about a different path would curb your tendency for insularity?

I do comprehend what you mean by having found an inner music. But it is there that it may be shared, for a song unsung is not a song at all.

I gather from your post that you may be about 45 or so? Often we come to a slowing down before we begin anew. A time to regroup and be alone within ourselves with the knowledge we have gleaned, but it does not stop there.

To stop growing is to stagnate within one's own hubris, I think, and if I live to be 100 and am capable of reading then, I shall still be seeking, learning and interacting with others.

Yet I am a crone. I am not ready to become the hag, though, for to think that the crone is the last of stages is to be ready to die in mid life! I am not finished, not willing to stagnate.

I most humbly wish you well whether you choose to stay where you are in your learnings or whether you continue to go forward. I hope that I have not come across as harsh, but your post seemed to make light of the path of a Seeker.

[Phi]

Well the crone stage is one that is certainly teaching me as much as the maiden and mother taught. The lessons are different, for sure, but at least now I know that I don't know anything. The ritual that you described dreamingmystic sounds like a good idea. I was wondering what the Saturn return would bring. I remember my first one. That was the year that I finally grew into my body. It was quite the rollercoaster ride, but when it settled out, I was much better for it. It was all good.

Shatril :chatty:
Shatril the one who knows after long study that they don't know anything yet, is the wisest!

[Shatril]

Thank Phi, The more I learn the more I realize that I know nothing. Of course, it takes a very long time to realize you know nothing. It was hard work and a lot of research. :drinking: Let's pass the Crone Comfort tm and dance.:ringaroun

[Phi]

:chatty: :adidas: Says adidas, but looks like a pretty cool dance to me, what with the sunglasses and all.:needcoffe My early morning TM of choice...:crylaugh:

[Shatril]

Yes I stopped at the Tavern-The Lion and the Unicorn for my cuppa :javaswim: . Of course there is some concern for flying goop balloon in that place so be prepared. I found an other thread about croning, and they recommended a book by Shinoda-Bolen. I read one of here books a while back and liked it. She is an educated feminist hippy that was instrumental in starting and sustaining the womens movement. I found her book interesting and how the feminist had changed with age. Quite interesting. They probably have her books at the library I would guess. Gonna take a look for them. Oh! she's a shrink, so that will give it an interesting twist I'm sure.

[Phi]

Try to find Woman at the Edge of Two Worlds The Spiritual Journey Through Menopause by Lynn V. Andrews It's about a woman who had Native American elder women help her with her ceremony and passage. I think you will really enjoy it.

and you also might enjoy A Full Moon of Women by Ursule Molinaro, about notable women, but not necessarily about menopause...

[Shatril]

I read the Full Moon of Women. I will have to get the other one. That sounds like a great book. Thx, Phi

[Phi]

Maybe you're ready for croning when you can answer all these questions?:bouncysmi
How many can you answer?
Don't tell your answers, just how many! :nonono:I'll post the answers later.


01. After the Lone Ranger saved the day and rode off
into the sunset, the grateful citizens would ask, "Who was that
masked man?" Invariably, someone would answer, "I don't know,
but he left this behind." "What did he leave
behind?_______________________.

02. When the Beatles first came to the U.S. in early 1964, we all watched
them on the, ______________________show.

03. Get your kicks, _______________.

04. The story you are about to see is true. The
names have been changed ____________________.

05. In the jungle, the mighty
jungle,_________________________.

06. After the twist, the mashed potatoes, and the
watusi, we "danced" under
a stick that was lowered as low as we could go in a
dance called the _________________________.

07. N_E_S_T_L_E_S, Nestle's makes the very best,
_______________.

08. Satchmo was America's "ambassador of goodwill."
Our parents shared this great jazz trumpet player with us. His name was,
____________________.

09. What takes a licking and keeps on
ticking?__________________.

10. Red Skeltons hobo character was
________________________. and he always ended his television show by saying,
"Good night, and_____________________________."

11. Some Americans who protested the Vietnam war did
so by burning
their_________________.

12. The cute little car with the engine in the back
and the trunk in the front, was called the VW. What other names did it go
by?__________________________&_______________________.

13. I n 1971, singer Don MacLean sang a song
about, "the day the music died." This was a tribute
to__________________________.

14. We can remember the first satellite placed into
orbit. The Russians did it; it was called
_____________________.

15. One of the big fads of the late 50's and 60's was a large plastic
ring that we twirled around our waist; it was called
the ___________.

[Lunacie]

I'm old enough to know the answers to those questions, and old enough to have trouble remembering them all. The stereotype of a woman going through PeriMenopause is an emotion-ridden hag, but compared the the emotional rollercoaster I had been going through every 23 days since I was 9 years old, PeriMenopuase was smooth sailing. The worst problems were the lack of energy and the trouble remembering. Another stereotype is the older woman getting up to get something and forgetting what she wanted to get. I knew what I wanted but I couldn't remember how to get to where it was. :huh: I think I know a little bit what Alzheimers must feel like. I would be talking and forget a common word in the midst of a sentence, or say the wrong word and not even realize it until I saw the look of puzzlement on the listener's face. :T

I have an odd and eclectic collection of books, which is fitting for someone as odd and eclectic as I am. ;) Soon after beginning PeriMenopause I marked the Croning chapter in Casting The Circle by Diane Stein, which is written from a Dianic Wiccan point of view (I'm not Dianic myself), and has some lovely ceremonies in it. She writes, "There are various definitions of when a woman reaches croning and is eligible for a croning ritual. She may choose to celebrate when she reaches menopaise, or wait until her second Saturn return at fifty-six years. She may want her ceremony when her last child leaves home, at retirement from her career, when she has become a grandmother, or at any other time she feels ready for it.... The woman may be long past the rite of passage transition when she decides tohave a croning ritual - honor her wishes. Any time that a woman chooses to validate her consequence and Goddess-within power is a good time for a ritual.

At age 56 or at Menopause, whenever she feels herself ready and powerful, a woman becomes a Crone."

Lee Lanning and Nett Hart wrote this Crone Invitation: "We bring our medicine pouches and share what we know of healing, what we have gathered, what we have learned to do. We share how we are healing our pain, how we leave behind suffering, how we soothe any wrongs done to us or by us. We care for one another, responding to one another's needs. We make sure everyone has enough..."

One of the songs they suggest for this ritual is:
We are the old women,
We are the new women,
We are the same women,
Stronger than before.

Several things prompted me to begin calling myself Crone, although I wasn't part of a circle or coven to have a Croning Ceremony at that time. My first/last/only child had been out of the home for several years, I had stopped menustrating completely for about a year, I had my 50th birthday, and I was estranged from my husband. So I was no longer a maiden, a mother, or a lover. I was part of a wonderful discussion group online where I was sharing my accumulated wisdom with new seekers and debating with those who were older and experienced. I had become part of a very dear sisterhood with two other women which is one of the most important relationships in my life. Some people thought I should wait until I was 56 but somehow I just knew I was ready to take on the mantle of Cronehood and wear it proudly. That's when I invented Crone Comfort tm, which means more than a soothing drink, its shared wisdom or caring as well.

Hello Sister Crones. :)

[dreamingmystic]

Yikes, yes I can answer all the questions except the first one. I forgot unless it's the silver bullet.
Love the questionaire though. I often talk to the young who don't know what a record albumn is or and 8 track tape deck!

[Shatril]

Oh Phi, leave it to you to come up with that stuff. It is a great rundown though. Well the Lone Ranger was my favorite until he kissed my Mom at the drive-in theater. When we got home I told my dad.

Lunacie, Thanks for the good stuff on preparation. I'm going through my second Saturn Return. I distinctly remember my first. So much happened then it was pathetic. That was the year that I realized that I wasn't the stupidest person that has ever been on this earth. I left my husband that kept me firm in that belief for a number of years. Found a job making $20,000 more than he did, so I left him. hehehehe

I hope this year is equally as eventful. As I recall all of that stuff was very negative until a couple of years afterwards when I realize how far I had come.

Dreamingmystic it was a silver bullet!!! See your not losing it totally yet.

:drinking: Swig of the Crone Comfort tm. In the true sense as defined by Lunacie below. Thank you for this, all of you. HIC!

[Phi]

:bouncysmi



Answers:

01. The Lone Ranger left behind a silver bullet.
02. The Ed Sullivan show.
03. Route 66
04. to protect the innocent.
05. The Lion sleeps tonight.
06. The limbo
07. chocolate.
08. Louis Armstrong
09. The Timex watch.
10. Freddy the freeloader, and "Good night, and may
God Bless."
11. draft cards (the bra was also burned)
12. Beetle or Bug
13. Buddy Holly
14. sputnik
15. hoola-hoop

This was sent to me by my aunt and I thought it might be fun. I'm glad it made some laugh!:colorful:

[Shatril]

:steppy: Well at least I'm not losing my mind! That is a good thing. Some tests are worth taking.

I'm reading threw my In Praise of the Crone book by Dorothy Morrison. Love that book. Has a great powder incense recipe. love it. It is called Crone Powder. Will use it for the ritual.

[Phi]

The reason we have trouble recalling things quickly when we get to be crones is that there is soooo much stored in the brain!!!:veryweird

(that's what I tell myself!:nyah: )

[Shatril]

The reason we have trouble recalling things quickly when we get to be crones is that there is soooo much stored in the brain!!!:veryweird

(that's what I tell myself!:nyah: )

I agree with that, that is what I keep telling my 85 yo mom. We just have soooo much stuff that we just give up the trivial stuff.

[Lunacie]

I got a good chuckle from this story so I'm sharing with the rest of you crones and cronies. (BTW, I graduated in '68)


Have you been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking ... surely I cannot look that old?

You may enjoy this short story.

While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room of a new dentist, I noticed his certificate, which bore his full name.

Suddenly, I remembered that a tall, handsome boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 40 years ago.

Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought.

This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate.

After he had examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended the local high school.

"Yes," he replied.

"When did you graduate?" I asked.

He answered, "In 1963, why?"

"You were in my class!" I exclaimed.

He looked at me closely, and then the son of a bitch asked, "What did you teach?"

[Phi]

:rotfl:

(class of '70)

[Dusk]

I missed 4. I still don't feel that I have reached the crone level yet.

Fun questions, thanx.

[Shatril]

You have a few more years before a Croning may be in order. Actually more than a few. Keep track of this thread though. I'm starting to research the croning process and will be posting my finds here. Then when your ready you will have a set of resources. I'm having some trouble finding much, so it is a real dig.

[Lunacie]

Shatril, what kind of resources are you wanting to post here?

[Shatril]

Well mostly planning for a croning ceremony. I don't know where to go to look, so I'm cruising the web for ideas.

[Lunacie]

I hope this isn't a copyright violation. If it is I won't be upset at having this post removed, eh?

From the book Rites of Passage, The Pagan Wheel of Life, written by Pauline Campanella:

Every woman, at some point in her middle years, comes to the end of her child-bearing days. For some it happens when they are in their fifties, for some in their late thirties, but for most, menopause begins sometime in their mid-forties, and the process is a gradual one. The symptoms and variations of menopause, and the length of time it takes, are endless in variation, but according to the medical profession, a woman's risk of becoming pregnant is over when she has not had a period for one full year.

Naturally, if the woman is a Witch, then she enters a new stage of life when she has not had a period for a year and a day. As accustomed as we women are to marking dates on calendars in red ink, this gives us plenty of time to contemplate the meaning of this transition. On the one hand the days of our youth and the magick of our ability to bring forth new life will have come to an end, but on the other hand we are finally free of the burden of child-bearing and the risk of pregnancy. We can begin to turn our attention toward ourselves without the interference of the ebb and flow of hormones playing havoc with our emotions and coloring our views of reality. No longer will our blood flow so that we may give new life. No longer will our happiness wax and wane with he moon. That mystery has been revealed to us and it is now time to move on. When a year and a day has come to pass and not a drop of blood has flowed, it is time to celebrate this most intense of passages.



After sunset, cast a Circle and light the candles at the four quarters. On the altar, or at the center of the Circle, have a small hand mirror and a comb, and two red candles. After the Circle has been cast, take up one red candle, light it, and hold it high, saying something like this:

Ancient Goddess, Mother of all Life
I (craft name), your daughter, stand at a threshold.
Behind me are my childbearing years, and ahead
Is a door through which I cannot see.
At your altar, Lady, do I offer to serve you,
That I may follow in your ways.

Now carry the candle to the East point, raise it in the air, saying something like this.

Spirits of the East, whose element is Air,
Through your magick was I able
To bring forth new life
As does the Sun when it rises in the East.

Then going to the Southern point, raise high the candle, saying something like this:

Spirits of the South, whole element is Fire,
Through your magick was I able
To make a tiny spark
Into the flame of life
Warm and bright
As the sun at Midsummer.

Going to the Western point, raise the candle and say something like this:

Spirits of the West, whose element is Water,
Through your magick was I able
To open wide the gates
Letting the birth waters flow
Uniting Spirit and matter
Just as they part where
The Sun sets in the West.

And finally, going to the Northern point and raising the candle high, say something like this:

Spirits of the North, whose element is Earth,
Through your magick was I able
To feed and nurture the flesh of new life
Giving growth and strength
Just as our mother nurtures us
Like the new born Sun at Yule.

Then returning to the East, gaze at the candle for a few moments, meditating before saying words like these:

But the Wheel has turned
Once and a day
Since my blood has flowed.
My time for giving new life has ended
Behind me are the days of flesh
Ahead are the days of Spirit.

Extinguish the red candle and return it to the altar, taking up the second candle. Carry it, unlit, to the Eastern point and hold it high, saying something like this:

May this be the day of my rebirth,
Freed from the burdens of the past!
Now do I light this candle
(taking flame from the quarter candle)
As a sign of my new life,
As the morning Sun at Beltane,
Spirits of the East, now may I receive
Your gifts of clear thinking and inspiration.

Going to the South, meditate for a moment before saying something like this:

Spirits of the South, behold I am born anew.
Now may I receive your gifts
Of creativity and energy.
Let this candle be a symbol
Warm and bright
Like the noonday Sun at Lammas.

Going to the West, meditate for a moment before saying something like this:

Spirits of the West, behold I am reborn.
May I now receive your gifts
Of intuition and of knowledge of the Spirit World.
May this candle symbolize those gifts
As promised at the Samhain Sunset.

And then going to the North, meditate a moment before saying something like this:

Spirits of the North, behold my new beginning.
Now may I receive your gifts
Of strength and solidity.
And let this candle be a symbol of those gifts
Burning steadily in the darkness of an Imbolc Night.

Carry the candle back to the altar, place it so that its flame illuminates your face. Take up the hand mirror and gazing at your reflection, begin to slowly comb your hair, while chanting mentally or softly aloud:

Behold my true self
Changing, yet unchanged.

When finished, take up the candle again and intone words like these:

Ancient Goddess, Queen of the Night,
Keeper of the Dark Mysteries,
I, your daughter, (craft name), stand before your altar
Changing, yet unchanged,
That I may follow in your ways.

Feel the gifts of the four directions and elements as they mingle and flow through you, and if you feel so moved, dance around the Circle until the rite is ended. So mote it be!

[Flar's Freyja]

There is a beautiful solitary croning ritual in Susun S. Weed's "The Menopausal Years: The Wise Woman Way."

I've always found it interesting that people judge when someone has become a crone based on their age and whether they have stopped menstruating. There is an assumption that the crone passes on only the wisdom related to the path.

A woman may have lived forty years in twenty. Her life experience may have taken her places that many will never see. It may be that these experiences are what led her to the path and have given her strength and wisdom rather than coven and book studies. The growth she has experienced makes her deserving of respect as she walks the path.

When I read The Mists of Avalon, I found striking parallels between life and priestess training. For women, life frequently involves sacrificing the needs of the self in order to nurture others and achieve our own goals. We must learn to defer gratification, and we must learn that if that which we seek we find not within ourselves, we will never find it without.

A hysterectomy tossed me into menopause at the age of 35. At the same time, I left a very abusive relationship and went to college while being both mother and father to my children. I had severe physical pain that went undiagnosed for 9 years. I took steps toward this path unknowingly when I tried to find ways to deal with that pain. I took care of my children and earned my degree in hopes of giving my children a better life than I had. I took a three year hiatus from dating at all and spent 14 years living alone. At times, thought that the loneliness would kill me, but at some point something changed. I remember driving to work feeling pretty good about a new relationship and saying to myself that it felt so good to know that if it didn't work out, I would be perfectly fine on my own.

I've had experiences in my life that would make many people shudder, and life is still a rocky journey. I felt that I was ready to begin venturing into my crone years when my children were grown and were leaving the nest. I have a profession where I have opportunities every day to pass on what I have learned to parents and children. My son's girlfriend talks to me because she can not talk to her own mother.

It's only in the past year that I've been able to read for others with confidence, and readings just flow. I am able to create beautiful things when I never thought I was capable of this. My womb is no longer, yet I am giving birth again, to a whole new story in my life.

When I am with younger people, I often reflect that my presence here will have mattered if I can help one, just one, avoid making the mistakes that I made. I regret none of them, but if I can spare a young maiden even a small amount of pain, I can smile.

[Shatril]

Well Freyja most people view the Maiden, Mother, Crone as a cycle in every womans life. The passing from the maiden to the mother stage when they give birth to their first child, then moving from the child bearing years to Crone when one loses her fertility. These are outward signs of passage. In them selves they warrant a passage celebration.

I don't recall anyone saying that you can't be wise during any of the three stages, and one should always pass on wisdom that they possess to help others along their path. I seriously doubt that wisdom is the sole domain of the Crone. In fact, I know some crones that don't have any wisdom. :twitch:

It must have been hard to raise children without a helpmate. The anxiety that comes with that type of responsibility can crush some women. I'm glad that you are doing well. I hope that your life continues to hold work that can make you proud.

Shatril

[Shatril]

I had found a recipe for something called crone powder once. It was the best smelling recipe for incense to burn on charcoal that I have ever had. But I lost that recipe. Anyone seen that recipe in one of there books?