View Full Version : Self sabbatoge problems in the psyche.

July 28th, 2004, 02:28 AM
Well a good friend of mine has a problem, he been to counciling, but as has often been the case the psychologist/counciler/therapist was unhelpful.

See his problem is this: hes got something upstairs that tells him that hes not good enough. That if he is successful that hell be hurting people, that he cant afford to be selfish because even when hes helping others hes being selfish because it makes him feel good.

He doesnt take complements well. Hes learned over the years that if he just says "thanks" or something small like that then people wont fuss over it, but otherwise his general attitude remains the same: he doesnt deserve it, anyone could have done the same, should have done the same, and theres no reason to celebrate his doing/being that way.

Often times when things are going very well for him all of a sudden some thing goes wrong, his grades drop, a blockage pops up *in football for a year he was almost a pacifist... they wanted him on varsity before that* and he finds that he does better with a girlfriend, but the few that hes had always have deep emotional or psychological problems of there own that eventually cause her to dump him, sending him into a worse state than when he started.

Hes improved his self esteem over the years... alot of talking to his friends, alot of hugs... hes addicted to hugs really, and slow advances. The problem is he often has to start over every 5-9 months because something happens that just shoots him down again.

He also has abandonement issues. This of course doesnt help the above problems at all.

What can be done to help him? He really is a nice guy...we *his friends and most of the school* are all agreed his a pretty good guy, even if he is eccentric. He knows he has this problem, and wants to better himself *partially so he doesnt take up his friends times with his own insecurities... Im telling you this goes deep!* and heal this wound in his soul.

Any comments or questions or even better, advice, is appreciated.

Holly Ariadna
July 28th, 2004, 08:42 AM
Try a different counselor?

July 28th, 2004, 11:08 AM
Well a good friend of mine has a problem, he been to counciling, but as has often been the case the psychologist/counciler/therapist was unhelpful.

Josh has already been to a few... he refuses to try again because all it does is waste his parents money, which is tight these days.

Holly Ariadna
July 28th, 2004, 01:40 PM
Is he under 18? If he is, he should be able to get free counseling.

I still think he should try it. His parents are probably willing to pay if they know how much it hurts him. I had to see 3 or 4 different counselors/psychologists before I found one that I liked.

July 28th, 2004, 03:51 PM
he is indeed under 18, but not for long. And hes been fairly insistant on the money side of things. Though he is getting a job soon, and josh is the kind of guy whod pay for it himself.

July 28th, 2004, 04:02 PM
Sounds daft but he might be better going straight for hypnotherapy. I've used it twice for something similar and it really has changed the way I think and got rid of a lot of negativity.

It's not going to cure him overnight but it will make a heck of a difference. I couldn't believe the difference it made for me. He would only need 1 hour session (2 max) to make a change in him. The hypnotherapist I saw was brilliant he explained everything that was going to happen and I felt completely at ease. It really did help me and I think it is more likely than councelling to get positive results for your friend. It will be a lot quicker too.

Hope he gets sorted soon and it's really good that he's got a supportive friend like you to help him. That makes a difference too.