Danustouch
August 15th, 2001, 01:04 PM
My friend sent me this today..and i'm NOT quite sure how to take it....a joke, that is non offensive, and pretty true? Or...a Joke that is VERY offensive...or...a joke that is just silly?
*************************************************
Here's a bit of a humorous quiz for Pagans, you may require a pinch of
salt!
Score one point for each question unless otherwise indicated
1. You insist that your boss call you "Starchild" because otherwise
you'd sue for religious harrassment. (Score double for this if you don't
let that patronizing bastard call you "Mr. or Ms. Starchild.")
2. You've ever confused the Prime Directive with the Wiccan Rede.
3. You've ever cast a spell with twenty-sided dice.
4. You said it was bigotry when they didn't let you do that ritual in
front of city hall. It had nothing to do with the skyclad bit.
5. You picketed The Craft and Hocus Pocus, but thought that the losers
who picketed The Last Temptation of Christ needed to Get Lives.
6. You've ever publicly claimed to be an elf, alien, vampire, faerie, or
demigod, and been genuinely surprised when not everyone took you
seriously.
7. You've ever publically claimed to be the reincarnation of Gardner,
Merlin, Aleister Crowley, King Arthur, Cleopatra, Morgana Le Fay, or Jim
Henson, and been genuinely surprised when not everyone took you
seriously.
8. You've suddenly realised in the middle of a ritual that you weren't
playing D&D.
9. You've failed to realise at any point in the ritual that you weren't
playing D&D.
10. You've suddenly realised that you ARE playing D&D.
11. Your Book of Shadows is a rulebook for Vampire: The Masquerade with
notes in the margins.
12. You've ever affected an Irish or Scottish accent and insisted that
it was real.
13. You talk to your invisible guardians in public. (Score double if you
save places for them in crowded restaurants)
14. You've ever claimed to have met the Vampire Lestat or Dracula.
(Score double if you got into a fight and escaped) (Score triple if it
was no contest)
15. You own a ceremonial bong.
16. You've ever tried something you saw on Sabrina, The Teenage Witch.
17. You've ever had to go along with someone's ludicrous story because
it was twice as likely to be true than most of the crap you spout.
18. You expect your employer to exempt you from the random drug testing
because of your religion.
19. You've won an argument by referencing Drawing Down the Moon, knowing
damn good and well they haven't read it either.
20. You've ever referenced the Great Rite in a pick-up line.
21. Someone has had to point out to you that you do not enter a circle
"in perfect love and perfect lust." (Score double if you argued the
point.)
22. You claim to be a famtrad (hereditary), but you're not. (Score
double if you had to tell people you were adopted to pull this off.)
23. You claim to be a descendant of one of the original Salem Witches.
(Score to a lethal degree if you don't get this one.)
24. Someone once lost their boat delivering your ritual incense from
Mexico.
25. You've ever used tongue delivering the fivefold kiss. (score double
if you did it more than once.)
26. You've ever used reincarnation as the intro for a pick-up line. (You
may deduct this point if it worked.)
27. You think it's perfectly reasonable to insist that, since every
tradition is different, and no one tradition is right, there's no reason
not to do things your way.
28. You request Samhain, Beltaine, and Yule off and then bitch about
working Christmas.
29. The thing that drew you to the Craft was the potential to dance with
naked members of the opposite sex.
30. You strip in a club like the one in Porky's under your craft name,
and consider it highly appropriate.
31. You've ever been psychically attacked by someone who conveniently
held a coven position you crave, and suddenly had a glimpse into their
mind so you could see how evil they were.
32. You've ever achieved position or influence in a coven by sleeping
with half of it.
33. You claim yourself as a witch because of how early you were trained
by the wise and powerful such-and-such. Of whom nobody has heard.
34. You complain about how much the Native Americans copied from
EclecticWiccan Rites.
35. You're not a hereditary witch but you have a good disposition to it
because your ancestors (the ones before your german parents) were Native
American or Irish.
36. You don't know the difference between Irish and Scottish, and you
alternately claim to be either.
37. You think the number of Wiccan books you own is far more important
than the number you have read, regardless of the fact that most of your
books are for beginners.
38. You hang out with people who each match at least fifteen of these
traits.
39. You recognize many of these traits in yourself, but this test isn't
about you. But, boy, it's right about those other folks.
The higher the score the greater the likelyhood that... You Might Be
Giving Pagans A Bad Name!
Anonymous
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*************************************************
Here's a bit of a humorous quiz for Pagans, you may require a pinch of
salt!
Score one point for each question unless otherwise indicated
1. You insist that your boss call you "Starchild" because otherwise
you'd sue for religious harrassment. (Score double for this if you don't
let that patronizing bastard call you "Mr. or Ms. Starchild.")
2. You've ever confused the Prime Directive with the Wiccan Rede.
3. You've ever cast a spell with twenty-sided dice.
4. You said it was bigotry when they didn't let you do that ritual in
front of city hall. It had nothing to do with the skyclad bit.
5. You picketed The Craft and Hocus Pocus, but thought that the losers
who picketed The Last Temptation of Christ needed to Get Lives.
6. You've ever publicly claimed to be an elf, alien, vampire, faerie, or
demigod, and been genuinely surprised when not everyone took you
seriously.
7. You've ever publically claimed to be the reincarnation of Gardner,
Merlin, Aleister Crowley, King Arthur, Cleopatra, Morgana Le Fay, or Jim
Henson, and been genuinely surprised when not everyone took you
seriously.
8. You've suddenly realised in the middle of a ritual that you weren't
playing D&D.
9. You've failed to realise at any point in the ritual that you weren't
playing D&D.
10. You've suddenly realised that you ARE playing D&D.
11. Your Book of Shadows is a rulebook for Vampire: The Masquerade with
notes in the margins.
12. You've ever affected an Irish or Scottish accent and insisted that
it was real.
13. You talk to your invisible guardians in public. (Score double if you
save places for them in crowded restaurants)
14. You've ever claimed to have met the Vampire Lestat or Dracula.
(Score double if you got into a fight and escaped) (Score triple if it
was no contest)
15. You own a ceremonial bong.
16. You've ever tried something you saw on Sabrina, The Teenage Witch.
17. You've ever had to go along with someone's ludicrous story because
it was twice as likely to be true than most of the crap you spout.
18. You expect your employer to exempt you from the random drug testing
because of your religion.
19. You've won an argument by referencing Drawing Down the Moon, knowing
damn good and well they haven't read it either.
20. You've ever referenced the Great Rite in a pick-up line.
21. Someone has had to point out to you that you do not enter a circle
"in perfect love and perfect lust." (Score double if you argued the
point.)
22. You claim to be a famtrad (hereditary), but you're not. (Score
double if you had to tell people you were adopted to pull this off.)
23. You claim to be a descendant of one of the original Salem Witches.
(Score to a lethal degree if you don't get this one.)
24. Someone once lost their boat delivering your ritual incense from
Mexico.
25. You've ever used tongue delivering the fivefold kiss. (score double
if you did it more than once.)
26. You've ever used reincarnation as the intro for a pick-up line. (You
may deduct this point if it worked.)
27. You think it's perfectly reasonable to insist that, since every
tradition is different, and no one tradition is right, there's no reason
not to do things your way.
28. You request Samhain, Beltaine, and Yule off and then bitch about
working Christmas.
29. The thing that drew you to the Craft was the potential to dance with
naked members of the opposite sex.
30. You strip in a club like the one in Porky's under your craft name,
and consider it highly appropriate.
31. You've ever been psychically attacked by someone who conveniently
held a coven position you crave, and suddenly had a glimpse into their
mind so you could see how evil they were.
32. You've ever achieved position or influence in a coven by sleeping
with half of it.
33. You claim yourself as a witch because of how early you were trained
by the wise and powerful such-and-such. Of whom nobody has heard.
34. You complain about how much the Native Americans copied from
EclecticWiccan Rites.
35. You're not a hereditary witch but you have a good disposition to it
because your ancestors (the ones before your german parents) were Native
American or Irish.
36. You don't know the difference between Irish and Scottish, and you
alternately claim to be either.
37. You think the number of Wiccan books you own is far more important
than the number you have read, regardless of the fact that most of your
books are for beginners.
38. You hang out with people who each match at least fifteen of these
traits.
39. You recognize many of these traits in yourself, but this test isn't
about you. But, boy, it's right about those other folks.
The higher the score the greater the likelyhood that... You Might Be
Giving Pagans A Bad Name!
Anonymous
Reply Reply All Forward Delete Put in Folder...InboxSent MessagesDraftsTrash CanFamily HistorypicturesSpiritual Previous Next | Close
Hotmail Services
Free Newsletters
Special Offers
Pop Mail
Find Message
Reminders
Directories
Explore MSN
Air Tickets
Chat Rooms
Find Friends
Hear Music
Horoscopes
My Photos
Personals
Send Money
Stock Quotes
More...
MSN Home Hotmail Web Search Shopping Money People & Chat
© 2001 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved. TERMS OF USE TRUSTe Approved Privacy Statement