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Infinite Muse
August 17th, 2004, 11:08 AM
i was not "able" to breastfeed my daughter when she was first born
the nurses who came to my house for "folowups" were very very unhelpful and I think led me into the path of post-partum depression actually by their forcing of ideas and techniques and other stuff which i feel as yet is too private and embarrassing to share with anyone
Auryn had a "short tongue"; she would not suck anything, not a nipple, not a soother, etc
the nurses kept trying this that and the other
promising me that if i "kept at it" every half hour or so she would get right into it
see she would suck when they were there
my milk let down etc and she continued losing weight because she still wouldn't eat
when i was in the hospital they never even touched on breastfeeding, or even that i had to feed my baby; they just took her to the back of the nurses station and brought her to me whenever i asked and i think in all the time i was in there i tried breastfeeding twice and had to ask the nurses to come help each time which i was too embarrassed to do
the laleche league never answered their damn bloody phone
and eventually the nurses stuffed a feeding tube down auryn's throat (after which i never permitted them access to me, her, or my house ever again out of complete rage and disappointment)
so anyways .. should i ever have another .. which i hope to one day if i ever find some man who can tolerate being around me
how can i avoid this crappy circumstance form happening again?

Shanti
August 17th, 2004, 11:12 AM
Are you sure the short tonge wasnt becaused she was tonge tied? My son was and it was caught right away and fixed with no prob what so ever!

Infinite Muse
August 17th, 2004, 11:27 AM
i don't know what that means: tongue tied
her having a shrt tongue was an excuse my mum told me as to why she wouldn't suck to make me feel less guilty

Shanti
August 17th, 2004, 11:29 AM
Tonge tied is where they cant stck their tonge out because there is a little to much skin under it holding it in their mouth. The doc snips the skin under the tonge, which is easy when its caught asap and then the baby can stick their tonge all the way out!! :)

bluglass
August 17th, 2004, 11:48 AM
Tongue tied means the frenulum (there is a piece of skin under the tongue that is a connector so-to-speak) and if it is not long enough it doesn't permit the tongue to move properly. It interfers with nursing as well as eating and speaking though it might not be obvious. It is easily resolved by clipping it. I know that sounds barbaric but it is a very common procedure. I'm sure there could be complications but I've never heard of them. The condition persists and your pediatrician should be able to diagnose it. Since you are past that stage, and if it isn't interfering with your child eating solids or learning to talk then it doesn't matter.

But it can seriously interfer with nursing. There are a dozen things I can think of that make for a baby who doesn't nurse and it does take several weeks -- it is not just something people say to "get you though" it is a truth -- to get the nursing relationship really going well. There are literally physiological things that happen over the course of the first dozen weeks that all go to making nursing work. As with all babies some happen sooner or more easily or baby adjusts more easily and some take longer, and are very difficult to get though.

Another thing that happens is that mom's body learns a trick or two as well. Some mom's bodies learn quickly with baby #1 and some don't. My body had a terrible time in addition to all the problems my son had and those that were between us like thrush. With my daughter, once she woke up, she was a terribly sleepy baby that wouldn't eat for anyone in the beginning, she went like gangbusters. The nurses insisted on feeding her. I insisted on cup feeding so as not to spoil her for an aritificial nipple (which she ended up hating anyway). The insisted she would eat for them but she spit it all up.

But I digress. To answer your question: some things will resolve because you have been though it once so you know some tricks and traps already. The next baby will be a different baby and will act differently. There is no reason why the next baby will have the same problems. You don't say that you didn't have enough milk and that is a huge plus in your favor. I'm sorry that you didn't have a good lactation consultant and not all La Leche League chapters are equal. I'm sorry you had problems with them. I had problems too finding just the right group and then they were wonderful. You can find meetings on the web. I recommend trying again when the time comes. Go to meetings before the baby comes. You will learn manythings and see many moms nursing and perhaps it will help you get a little more comfortable. Or, if you need to be more private there are private lactation consultants, midwives and doulas that can help. And take a breastfeeding class before baby comes. Try your pediatrician or the hospital.

You did a wonderful job for your first. I'm sure you will make the best decisions you can in future.

Shanti
August 17th, 2004, 11:54 AM
Thanks blugrass, its been 24 yrs since my son was a baby and I didnt remember all the technical stuff about being tounge tied. I just remember the basics and that it wasnt a prob because it was caught right away so I didnt have any probs breastfeeding! :)

Infinite Muse
August 17th, 2004, 10:21 PM
Tonge tied is where they cant stck their tonge out because there is a little to much skin under it holding it in their mouth. The doc snips the skin under the tonge, which is easy when its caught asap and then the baby can stick their tonge all the way out!! :)

ic; i can't say as i have ever heard of that, but Auryn did have this funny thing that made her tongue look like it was/is split in the middle. instead of being semi-circle shaped, the end is more like m shaped

TWILIGHTSKY
August 18th, 2004, 02:16 PM
Each baby is different, and more than likely your baby and your body will be able to work in unison, no problem. :) If you do have another baby, it can't hurt to try!

Shanti
August 18th, 2004, 05:40 PM
ic; i can't say as i have ever heard of that, but Auryn did have this funny thing that made her tongue look like it was/is split in the middle. instead of being semi-circle shaped, the end is more like m shaped
Have your doc look...that is a perfect example of tounge tied!!!

HorseCrow
August 19th, 2004, 04:51 AM
Yep, I'll bet just about anything that she is tongue tied- and that can prevent her from nursing. See the doc and have it fixed, and when you have your next baby, make sure s/he is checked out right away (it is hereditary).

Infinite Muse
August 19th, 2004, 09:22 AM
thank you everyone for helping me figure this out
i am actually rather mad right now at the docs & nurses involved when i was still trying to breastfeed
they seemed so intent on brushing aside all my questions about why it wasn't working and trying to force me to use other methods and then forcing me to switch to powdered milk which i was so against and still am
sigh .. it could have saved me so much heartache; i doubt i would be on anti-depressants now if they had just *listened* when we all said we thought there was something wrong with her short tongue

Tullip Troll
August 19th, 2004, 09:31 AM
Just think how great you ll be for the next one...I think it's normal to feel out of control with first babies...it's so hard to know when to push and if what your feeling is normal or not. Sometimes I think having a baby in the hospital is the worst place to have a baby...everyone is so busy doing their job that things like that happen.

MheraPai

Infinite Muse
August 19th, 2004, 09:47 AM
Sometimes I think having a baby in the hospital is the worst place to have a baby...everyone is so busy doing their job that things like that happen.
i tried and tried to convince them to let me give birth on the beach (we were camping at the time) but no .. they had to drive me to the hospital where things went downhill superfast .. if anyone ever offers you and upper & a downer at the same time (aka, they shoved me full of glucose and gave me a shot of demerol which alone would have made me completely out of it) don't take it ... i wound up sleeping & screaming through most of my short 5 hr l&d (which they had to extend to be that long.. and if i had known thats what they were doing i would have told them to go to h*ll, but i was too out of it) and then i was out of the hospital 12 hours and 15 minutes after first walking through the doors with so little support it was spooky

Hope
August 19th, 2004, 10:52 AM
see if the hospital has a post partum support group

also if she was able to nurse, at times then didnt at others, are you really sure it's her tongue?

i actually know someone who has had 5 kids

and nursed all --- once she got an infection in her breast and it was painful

one they baby didn't nurse

and the others were very average

for the baby that didnt nurse, they do have this thing you put it around your neck (like a necklace) and the formula is at about the top of your breasts then there is a VERY small tube that runs down to your nipple

then when the baby is nursing they are getting breast milk and formula, and you know they are getting nutrition, but they are also stilmulating your nipples to encourage milk supply --- and it allows you to relax

love
hope

Autumn
August 19th, 2004, 03:58 PM
What Hope is descrbing is a supplemental nursing system or SNS I have some experience with it and Amethyst Rose has a ton onf experience with it.

Infanate Muse was it your choice to get discharged at only 12 hours postpartum?

I am angry just thinking about a situation like that for a first time mom...if it was what you wanted welll....If it wasn't...Then you all can wait for my rant in a later post!!!