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View Full Version : At what age did your children start exploring sexualy?



LadyJ0713
August 18th, 2004, 01:39 AM
Hi,
I walked in on my soon to be 5 year old son and his best friend kissing. Very passionatly. 6 months ago they were playing with each others penis. He is my only child. Im an only child. I know what I did at 7-9. He just started earlier. How would you handle this?
We talked about not kissing until he is older. I told him how I feel when I kiss his momma. That funny felling in your belly.
I dont want to crush any inicent exploration, but now days I dont want him charged as a sex offender either.
wer

AuroraSilvermist
August 18th, 2004, 01:59 AM
:holycow:

I think it's pretty easy to freak out about activity like this, but it sounds like you kept a cool head and approached things just right. You're not so much crushing innocent exploration as discussing with your son what's appropriate and what's not. As an example, I used to take care of a four year old girl who loved to masturbate...I mean, she'd lie on the couch and really go to town! I ended up telling her that I understood that it felt good when she did that, but that touching your privates was, well, something you did in private. (Incidentally, her mom approved of the way I handled things. hehe)

Maybe you could explain to your son that the sort of kissing he was doing is a special thing that happens between adults when they have very grown-up feelings for each other, and that he should wait to kiss until he's old enough to understand feelings like that. (Sort of what you already said about how you feel when you kiss his mom. :) )

Another thing I would make a point of talking to your child about is inappropriate touching. I tell my kids that it is NOT okay for somebody to touch them in a way that makes them uncomfortable or hurts them. I remind them that their "privates" belong to THEM, and they make all the decisions regarding them. I also tell them that if anybody ever touches them in a way they're not comfortable with, they should let me know so I can help. I don't want them to be embarrassed or ashamed of their bodies or their sexuality, but I do want them to know that they're in charge of those little bodies--ALWAYS.

It sounds like what your son did WAS just innocent exploring, but you're certainly not out of bounds talking with him about it, and taking an opportunity to teach him. Our sexuality is such a complex thing to understand, and a child of 5 certainly needs some guidance as he learns about his body, and his feelings.

:hugz:

Will
August 18th, 2004, 02:13 AM
:jawdrop: I started exploring that stuff when I was 5. It is just that I was exparamenting on girls. :shhhh:

Shanti
August 18th, 2004, 09:19 AM
He is normal but he has to learn not to kiss yet and that you dont touch each outher!!! Just explain that his penis is his and he shouldnt let no one else touch it and he shouldnt touch any one else. Its his private stuff. My son is 4 and started playing with it at 2. Its taken a lot of talking but he finally learned to keep it private and not to bring it out for others to see!!!

Now if I could just get him to stop 'watering' the trees and grass!!!!:woah:

RogueSpirit
August 18th, 2004, 09:22 AM
The earliest I remember masturbating (and getting spanked for it) was when I was about four. The earliest I remember experimenting sexually with other children (and getting beaten for it) was about four or five. My daughter started consciously masturbating when she was about three or four... and I handled it by telling her that she should keep it private so now she uses it as a way to embarrass or otherwise get a reaction out of me. She thinks it's funny. I'm more concerned about her not understanding that this behavior is really private and that she needs to keep it to herself than I am that she is doing it. Children who are so obviously sexual worry me in the world as it is today.

LadyTrinity
August 18th, 2004, 09:24 AM
My son is 11 months old and love to grab at his butt and he grabs at his genitles when I change him..
I think he is just discovering what it is LOL.
My friends daughter is 2 and always has her hands in her pants playing with her genitles.. Unsure how my friend handled that though :yikes:

Druchii
August 18th, 2004, 09:43 AM
My son "discovered" his... "kickstand" about a week ago, but according to the doctors he had already figured it out in the womb... it was just odd because he is only a few months old... his mom was mortified :D But we figured it was innocent enough.
I was beside myself with bowing to the absurd and just shrugging it off. I honestly didn't start exploring until I was like 15 or so ... didn't touch a girl till I was 18. Maybe I did what he does now, but I certainly don't remember it if I did. :)

TWILIGHTSKY
August 18th, 2004, 02:11 PM
I remember holding hands at 8, and that was a big deal! A peck on the cheek didn't come until a few years later; but then a couple years after that I got together with my guy.

I don't know whether it's just me or not, but it does seem like kids are doing EVERYTHING a lot earlier than we did when we were little.

Avalon
August 18th, 2004, 02:18 PM
My son "discovered" his... "kickstand" about a week ago, but according to the doctors he had already figured it out in the womb... it was just odd because he is only a few months old... his mom was mortified :D But we figured it was innocent enough.
I was beside myself with bowing to the absurd and just shrugging it off. I honestly didn't start exploring until I was like 15 or so ... didn't touch a girl till I was 18. Maybe I did what he does now, but I certainly don't remember it if I did. :)
Same here...I didn't start until I was about 11.

Tzhebee
August 18th, 2004, 02:20 PM
I remember hiding under the tree in the front yard with the neighboor boy and showing each other our private parts at age 5.

One of my daughters explores herself quite frequently (I assume, since every morning when I wake her up, her hand is in her panties) at age 8.

My 14 month old son has just figured out he has something "down there" besides his toes! :lol:

Vampy
August 18th, 2004, 03:20 PM
I walked in on my two oldest doing the same thing. Yea it freaked me out, but I calmed down and realized that it is a natural thing to do so there is nothing to really be worried about.

I just explained to them that their private parts are for themselves only, and we only kiss on the cheeks or on the lips, and that is it, nothing more...

I guess you have to ride that boat until they are old enough for *Horror Music Playing* "The Talk" *GASP!* ;)

I am sending as much energy as I can

Forever Yours,

Holly Ariadna
August 18th, 2004, 06:20 PM
I walked in on my two oldest doing the same thing.

Masturbating, or kissing each other?! :p

Vampy
August 18th, 2004, 09:55 PM
Masturbating, or kissing each other?! :p


both

LadyJ0713
August 19th, 2004, 01:09 AM
Hi, Thanks all. You've eased my mind. He's a very affectionate child. Holds his friends hand from school. She is so cute and they are cute together. They run towards each other when they see each other and run into each others arms and hug yelling each others name. Kodak moment.
Thanks again all
wer

Holly Ariadna
August 19th, 2004, 06:18 AM
both

Whoops... Masturbating is fine, but two brothers kissing each other... I'd have freaked out, I hope you didn't! You seem to have handled it pretty well.

Holly Ariadna
August 19th, 2004, 06:20 AM
Hi, Thanks all. You've eased my mind. He's a very affectionate child. Holds his friends hand from school. She is so cute and they are cute together. They run towards each other when they see each other and run into each others arms and hug yelling each others name. Kodak moment.
Thanks again all
wer

Awwwwwwwwwwwww!! That's adorable!! :D I remember my first "boyfriend"... We were 8 and sat next to each other at school. He drew a portrait of me, I still have it. :D He'd come with his friends and hide outside my house with water guns so I'd have to run after them and find him. OMG I wanna be 8 years old again...

Valkie
August 19th, 2004, 09:15 AM
ummm, I think I was around 6 with one of the neighbor girls. Another thing that no one else has mentioned, even though I was never caught by an adult, I felt guilty for years and thought that my innocent exploring was going to have a huge impact on my sexuality when I grew up. when kids explore this young, it's not about sex or attraction, it's about finding out what others look like and trying to imitate what they see.

Temair
August 19th, 2004, 03:44 PM
I remember my friend and I playing "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" at 7 years old. It was also about that time that my younger brothers and I would play doctor. At 10 and 11, another friend and I used to watch her parents' porn when they weren't home and we would sometimes act them out. I was taught that any sexual exploration was bad and that you shouldn't see anyone else's "stuff" until you were married. I have always felt guilty about those porn watching sessions and felt dirty about acting them out.
As for my children, my daughter got chicken pox at 6 months old, and it was localized in her diaper area. It itched, so she scratched and then we noticed that even after all the pox were gone, she still played with herself. I let my kids run naked through the house when they want to, and often times sge will lay on the couch watching TV and playing with herself. She is 2 now. My 5- and 8-year-olds apparently show thirs off to each other. The 5-year-old said that the 8-year-old had told her to "kiss her peepee", which my 8-year-old denies.
I want them to be more comfortable with their bodies than I am with mine, so I try not to tell them it is bad or wrong. 5yo has mentioned marrying her sister, and I said you can't marry someone in your family. I don't want to instill the homophobia I was raised with, so I say nothing about their being the same sex, just the same family.
It's hard, and I hope that I am comfortable enough that the inevitable talks as they get older won't be too hard.

FlyingBear
August 19th, 2004, 04:18 PM
Sophia is just over seven months old and plays with herself when we change her diapers. It might be cause it feels good, a comfort grab or just curiousity. Don't know, just not worried about it for now.

Pol
August 19th, 2004, 06:54 PM
Well, hmm..
When I was little, about 4-6 and my brother was 5-7, we'd lay face down in the tub and rub our peerless parts, but never touched each other sexually. We'd maybe pretend the other was a one-eyed monster about to consume GI Joe.. but that was the limit.
However, when I was 6 or 7, I remember doing a lot of dirty stuff. I fantasised a lot about girls (my own age and women I knew), though I never thought to touch myself till I was 13 or 14.
When I was 7, I was spending the night with a friend of mine, I think he was 5 or 6, and his sister who was 13 and his other sister who was 2 or 3. We all ended up stripped naked, and making Barbi dolls touch each other and kiss and such. I don't think I remember touching his 13 year old sister, but she did strip for us. I think she was a bit old to be 'innocently' experimenting. She was wiggling her body around and down right stripping.
I remember touching myself a lot in bed at night, but I wouldn't quite call it masturbating.
I do recall once when a good friend of mine (who was a girl) held my hand, I felt down right guilty. But then, I was raised in a fairly conservative Christian home.

I think that one reason that so many children today are sexually inclined is because our world is so okay with sex. I think that when people have been confined or forced into something, then when they come out of it they go the opposite direction. I think that as the modern world comes out of the prudish imposition of mediaeval Christianity, we're going also into the opposite direction where we make everything sexual and completely give into our sexuality.
I think this is coming out in our children as well.
I'm not at all a prude anymore, but I do still hold to the thought that sex and touching should at least mean something before it is being done, if only to keep it from being rampant.

I don't plan on keeping my kids from masturbating, as it's only natural and even healthy, but I do know that I will stress for it not to be done with or around other people (or kissing, for that matter).

Pol
August 19th, 2004, 06:57 PM
Oh, also my nieces used to hump (not to be crude) on the corners of diaper boxes and such when they were toddlers, and now that they're 4 and 5 they can also be heard saying some strange things in the bath (like 'woogie pulled my private,' or saying strange things to each other (not unlike the 'kiss my peepee' thing).

Has anyone noticed a change in behaviour when children do this?
I can detect something in their voices, something I remember feeling when I would do such things as a child. It's almost a certain maturity, and hiding their intentions, in their voice..

Anyway, the point of this was to say that my sister is not prudish by any means. She was the first of my family to break from Christianity, and has raised her children as liberal as she can, yet her children do not masturbate (as far as we know).
I'm wondering if it's not some inherent culture or belief that we do not teach our children but somehow learn from us without seeing or hearing a thing.

So my question is, those of you who find your children masturbating at such a young age, or making out at a young age - in your private lives (it's a private question, so you don't have to answer) that your children never witness, are you pretty sexual and liberated in your sexuality?

Vampy
August 19th, 2004, 08:59 PM
Whoops... Masturbating is fine, but two brothers kissing each other... I'd have freaked out, I hope you didn't! You seem to have handled it pretty well.


Umm I did freak out, just kinda sorta

Pol
August 19th, 2004, 11:24 PM
Just to say: I meant rubbing on the bottom of the tub, not each other.

The High Queen of Faerie
August 19th, 2004, 11:53 PM
wow, everyone's talking about "show me yours i'll show you mine" stuff, and i never did that at all. wow. people in general hate(d) me though, so that's to be expected ;)

i haven't even had a boyfriend face-to-face yet, just long distance. so i guess that says something about me, lol xD i'm different, wah wah

RogueSpirit
August 20th, 2004, 12:35 AM
So my question is, those of you who find your children masturbating at such a young age, or making out at a young age - in your private lives (it's a private question, so you don't have to answer) that your children never witness, are you pretty sexual and liberated in your sexuality?

I haven't been very sexually active for a while... really for about half (or more) of my daughter's life (she's almost six). In fact, in the last three years, I haven't had sex in the house at all and in the last 15 months I've only had sex once. But I am very liberated in my sexuality and always have been. My daughter hasn't done the make out thing, but that's probably because there hasn't been anyone around with which to do such things. The masturbating thing, on the other hand... well, we have trouble getting her to get dressed once she's naked and kind of have to stay after her to get dressed or she'll sit there all day playing with herself. And she's not shy in the least. We were asked by her daycare to make sure she wore shorts under her dresses because of what she would do during nap. This started when she was three or four.

The High Queen of Faerie
August 20th, 2004, 12:38 AM
I haven't been very sexually active for a while... really for about half (or more) of my daughter's life (she's almost six). In fact, in the last three years, I haven't had sex in the house at all and in the last 15 months I've only had sex once. But I am very liberated in my sexuality and always have been. My daughter hasn't done the make out thing, but that's probably because there hasn't been anyone around with which to do such things. The masturbating thing, on the other hand... well, we have trouble getting her to get dressed once she's naked and kind of have to stay after her to get dressed or she'll sit there all day playing with herself. And she's not shy in the least. We were asked by her daycare to make sure she wore shorts under her dresses because of what she would do during nap. This started when she was three or four.

wow... i must be really ignorant, but i haven't heard much of what i've been seeing here at all before. my family wasn't anything like this at all :p

halfwaynowhere
August 20th, 2004, 01:36 PM
i don't remember ever showing myself to anybody, but my brother, who is about three years younger than me, would show me his when he was little. I recall us sitting in the hallway looking at it.. and then he tried to color it with a crayon and i ran and told on him... he was probably 1 or 2...

Vampy
August 20th, 2004, 03:05 PM
I think it is something that children pick up, through tv, friends, I mean I was never sexually active in front of my kids, but they still knew about it.

Forever Yours,

Aine of the Fae
August 20th, 2004, 03:12 PM
I don't remember my childhood. However my son is a pervert :D I'm so proud :lol: I've caught him masturbating and told him it was fine as long as he did it in private. And he discovered hubby's playboy stash.... my husband was more upset than I was. I told hubby to get over it, kids explore.

Hubby grew up in an extremely prudish household and didn't even know what a penis was for until he was 15.....

Vampy
August 20th, 2004, 03:20 PM
ok I think thats funny

How old is your son?

Aine of the Fae
August 20th, 2004, 03:39 PM
He's 6.

mara
August 20th, 2004, 03:48 PM
When my oldest was 6 0r 7 I found pictures of women in bras that he cut out of magazines or the catalog in his dresser..we tease him about it now- he's 24 now.

Smiley Girl
August 20th, 2004, 03:50 PM
wow... i must be really ignorant, but i haven't heard much of what i've been seeing here at all before. my family wasn't anything like this at all :p
I know. My family wasn't like that at all either. I remember my brother and I used to take baths together until we were at least 7/5 and we never even touched our private parts hardly. We didn't even know what they were for but for 'that's where pee comes out' :veryweird ... just always treated them like another part of the body.

I never even started anything sexual until I was 13.

Tsuchimaru
August 20th, 2004, 03:54 PM
Same here...I didn't start until I was about 11.

Same here....

MsRavenFires
August 20th, 2004, 04:08 PM
My 8 yr old was caught doing the "mine is different and bigger than yours" to a family friends younger son..... it wasn't my son or even the other boy who were an issue. It was the other parents.... oh my god ! they wanted me to take my son to therapy because obviously he has been touched or abused or something , otherwise he wouldn't behave this way......<hangs head> after I calmed down and spoke to my son, the real issue we found out was that my son isn't circumcised and thier son is ---- and well my son was curious as to why his was soooooo different !

completely natural curiousity------ but the sad thing is they don't come around much anymore -- LO L-- or actually that's a good thing ! :)

Smiley Girl
August 20th, 2004, 04:24 PM
but the sad thing is they don't come around much anymore -- LO L-- or actually that's a good thing ! :)
LOL :veryweird


I don't plan on keeping my kids from masturbating, as it's only natural and even healthy, but I do know that I will stress for it not to be done with or around other people (or kissing, for that matter).
What he said :hehehehe:

RogueSpirit
August 20th, 2004, 04:28 PM
it wasn't my son or even the other boy who were an issue. It was the other parents.... oh my god ! they wanted me to take my son to therapy because obviously he has been touched or abused or something , otherwise he wouldn't behave this way

Honestly, I was almost afraid to mention my daughter's behavior in this forum because of that kind of reaction. I've gotten the same reaction from someone in another forum where a similar question was asked about two or three years ago. At the time, Morgane had never even had a babysitter. The only person around her at all was me. I had no doubt at all that what she was doing was just something she discovered felt good by accident. People just think that children aren't sexual beings... even though little boys will have erections in utero. I think the idea of it makes people uncomfortable because they confuse the idea that touching themselves feels good with because they masturbate, maybe they are somehow wanting to be involved sexually with others. Yes, excessive masturbation, usually in an inappropriate setting, is a sign that a child may have been molested. But excessive masturbation means that they may have already been masturbating and now they are doing it more than they were before... not that all children who masturbate have been molested. And they also seem to think that masturbation is something a child has to be taught about. Children may learn it, but they learn by accidentally touching themselves and realizing it feels good so they continue to do it.

Vampy
August 20th, 2004, 04:33 PM
That is a common misconception that most people have, "if a child does something the least bit sexual, then they have been sexually abused, case closed." and its that point that I want to reach over and choke the life out of them screaming, "ITS CALLED CURIOSITY!!!" (spell check). Anyway... just because a child touches his/herself or another childs genitalia (spell check) does not mean that they are sexually abused, its natural, and innocent, and it should stay as such.

Vampy
August 20th, 2004, 04:37 PM
He's 6.


Lmao, like I told boo, there aint no way that our kids are gonna grow up and not be perverts, no way at all ;)

Laurelei
August 20th, 2004, 06:13 PM
Just blinking in to give this thread a big :thewave::yourock: !

It's just that I remember experimenting when I was about 6, and it's bothered the heck out of me for a long time now. I can't comfortably discuss anything like that with my parents and my friends already think I'm a pervert ( :devil: ). I feel a lot better now from reading this!

I was an odd kid. I married my cat who was female, same as me. I remember asking my mum wether two girls could marry each other and she just said "well, if they really want to". I later freaked my teacher out by stating that I'd married my cat in a booklet about my family! :p

Vampy
August 20th, 2004, 06:25 PM
shoot, come in and talk to us... no one will think weird stuff... its life and its weird enough ;)

Holly Ariadna
August 21st, 2004, 01:38 PM
No comments... :lol:

Marchosias
August 21st, 2004, 03:50 PM
...kiddie porn, anyone? :p

Tsuchimaru
August 21st, 2004, 03:55 PM
...kiddie porn, anyone? :p

:lol: Really though....

~~Vampy's~~Boo~~
August 21st, 2004, 07:44 PM
Lmao, like I told boo, there aint no way that our kids are gonna grow up and not be perverts, no way at all ;)
LMAO :reindeer: :T

Strawberry Bounce
August 21st, 2004, 11:04 PM
Me & my friends use to make our Barbies have sex but we never touched each other.

Valkie
August 22nd, 2004, 01:38 AM
Are you kidding?? For the longest time my Barbie was living in an imaginary apartment in my closet. She was the town whore... needless to say, Ken was very happy.

Smiley Girl
August 22nd, 2004, 08:52 PM
Are you kidding?? For the longest time my Barbie was living in an imaginary apartment in my closet. She was the town whore... needless to say, Ken was very happy.
LOL :rotfl:

Laurelei
August 22nd, 2004, 09:25 PM
And the awful thing was that I used to do that... with my Beanie Babies. Zodiac Dragon was the tribe ladykiller, after taking advantage of Slowpoke the sloth, Starlett the cat and Amber the cat (who was in a play with Slayer the lizard and got VERY jiggy with him, much to the dismay of Spots the leopard). He also fell out with Pegasus (I think you can guess his species) by leading his girlfriend Mystical the Unicorn (non Beanie) astray. There is some integrity somewhere though, Toothy the T-rex has been in a steady relationship with Beanie the cat for about 3 years now... well, I grew out of playing with Beanies before I could make them fall out.

Of course, this was before and after the two Beanie Baby wars and, uh, public execution that the Beanie Tribe suffered.

Okay, I was a sick child :bad: :D.

~~Vampy's~~Boo~~
August 24th, 2004, 04:01 PM
this is gonna be a long post but here goes.......
my daughter is 6 and jordan is 5 he is my friends son anyways they have known each other since they were babies and jill and i have always said they were gonna get married
well lately they have been experimenting sexually and i just walked in on them and allyson had her pants and underwear off and jordan had his pants off it was obvious what they were trying to do......we have caught them kissing and stuff like that but nothing this extreme.... and not only all this but its like jill is tryin to blame allyson and i know damn well its both of them ally has seen me and my ex by accident and jordan has seen jill and her husband also so really its not just ones fault but her slant on it is that he never did all this b4 but he also hasnt really been around other girls either except to play outside or what not ally and him have sleep overs and what not. i guess maybe its time to not let them sleep over at each others houses... i have always taught ally that those are her parts and i dont want to get mad at her and make her feel like she is in trouble... but simply talking to her has not seemed to work so far.. they just keep finding ways to hide it... i cant tell them they cant play together anymore because i babysit jill's kids so that wont work... ??????????????????????????????????????????????????? :bouncingb

~~Vampy's~~Boo~~
August 24th, 2004, 08:04 PM
Umm I did freak out, just kinda sorta
i was online with him when it happened he FREAKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vampy
August 28th, 2004, 01:22 AM
Oh come now... I wasn't that bad... I was just a little hysterical... there is nothing wrong with drinking 2 quarts of Wild Turkey... is there?

Starry Di
September 2nd, 2004, 06:59 AM
this is gonna be a long post but here goes.......
my daughter is 6 and jordan is 5 he is my friends son anyways they have known each other since they were babies and jill and i have always said they were gonna get married
well lately they have been experimenting sexually and i just walked in on them and allyson had her pants and underwear off and jordan had his pants off it was obvious what they were trying to do......we have caught them kissing and stuff like that but nothing this extreme.... and not only all this but its like jill is tryin to blame allyson and i know damn well its both of them ally has seen me and my ex by accident and jordan has seen jill and her husband also so really its not just ones fault but her slant on it is that he never did all this b4 but he also hasnt really been around other girls either except to play outside or what not ally and him have sleep overs and what not. i guess maybe its time to not let them sleep over at each others houses... i have always taught ally that those are her parts and i dont want to get mad at her and make her feel like she is in trouble... but simply talking to her has not seemed to work so far.. they just keep finding ways to hide it... i cant tell them they cant play together anymore because i babysit jill's kids so that wont work... ??????????????????????????????????????????????????? :bouncingb

Have you tried explaining to them that they have to wait until they are adults to follow through on feelings like that? Or imitating sex? I think this would be a good opportunity to talk about sex.

Course, I could be wrong. For a more better opinion, I suggest contacting a pediatrician, as I'm sure they're faced with "problems" like this from their patients alot =) And might have heard of some parent that's found a way to keep their child from having sex.

~~Vampy's~~Boo~~
September 2nd, 2004, 07:57 PM
yes i have tried talking with them so has jill many times

OriginalWacky
September 2nd, 2004, 11:23 PM
Oh goodie, another topic I can go on and on about. ::giggle::

Seriously, I can't remember what I was like as a young child, and I waited quite a while before even having an interest in boys. For a while I was very VERY hung up about sex, probably because my mother was having it with ANYbody she could get drunk enough to drag home, and it was embarrassing. How many of you have woken up at LEAST once a week with a strange man in your mother's room, one whose name she doesn't even know?! The few friends I had weren't allowed to spend the night with me because of that kind of thing.

To top that off, she never really had any "Talk" with me about it, so I didn't know much anyway, just that it sounded really wierd, all those moaning and groaming noises. The closest I got to experimenting in my early teens was when our model horses would sing love songs to each other and kiss. Then they had a baby. There was never anything in between LOL.

It also made a HUGE difference that I had been raped very young, and again at 10, so I had no interest anyway, as I thought it was painful. I was very lucky when one of my friends (who happened to be a guy) wound up being my first, and we took it very very slow, and spent lots and lots of time together, so I wasn't so nervous. Of course, we were also, uh, under the influence of something at the time, which relaxed me too.

As far as my own children went, I was always very open to naming their body parts, whether they were private parts or not. In fact, my son was nearly three when my second was born, and one day when he saw me changing her daiper, he watched for a bit, then said, "Mom?" and I said, "What?". He then said, "Where's DemonChild's (not her real name, obviously) penis?" After a couple of seconds, I answered, "Girls don't have one." He just said, "Oh." and walked away. I got many a giggle out of that one.

Because of the kids' propensity to blurting out whatever came to mind, no matter where we were, I took to using the euphamism "bathroom talk" to signify that something was private, and shouldn't be discussed in public. I was completely open, and no matter what the question, I always answered honestly, and with a brief answer, leaving it up to them to ask more if they wanted more. The last time I was there to give them their bath, my daughters and I had a lovely discussion on the clitoris. I can about imagine what many people might think of me for discussing this, but I'd rather they talk about these things with me than gods know who. I figure it will be better especially when they get older, so that I can help guide them into making the right decisions about sex.

A friend of mine has similar ideas to mine about this, and it was a very good thing she did. A babysitters brother was attempting to molest her daughter, and her daughter was adamant about saying no, and telling her mother, thus preventing what could have been a long cycle of abuse for her daughter. That kind of openness not only gave her daughter the courage to say no about her body, but to tell as well, even with threats. I hope that should my children ever find themselves in a similar situation, they could tell me.

Shy Hawk
September 9th, 2004, 01:44 PM
I'm glad this thread is here, I have a new son, and this may help me in the future.
Also, I did a lot of experimenting with my younger brother between 5-9. I started masturbating around 9. I also felt extremely guilty about sexual play with other children and stuff. I was made to feel that that is really bad, and I was told that masturbation is bad too. I know that my husband had similar experiences so it makes me feel better to see that its not too uncommon.
But anyhow, I know that touching yourself is okay. But how do you deal with your children touching other children and vice versa? Aren't you afraid that its going to lead somewhere? Or that if someone older tried to touch them that they wouldn't know the difference and wouldn't say anything? Or some other icky thing?
And, I don't know how you can deal with siblings touching eachother at all. I'm not sure how I would react. I personally never got over it, but maybe its because of how I was raised. Since I was a little older than my brother I was meant to think that even though we didn't know the difference, and it was concentual, that I somehow molested him.
Please don't persecute me.:sniffsnif

Autumn Scarletwolfe
September 10th, 2004, 01:14 AM
Wow...I feel so sheltered or...something. I didn't have my first kiss until I was late 16. LOL. I can't say I or my siblings have ever done something like this....so I don't know. >_<

atropa
September 24th, 2004, 10:30 PM
*Groans* I can only imagine what I'm going to walk in on one day... What have I gotten myself into?? (lol)

Raven Reed
September 30th, 2004, 03:31 AM
My oldest used to masturebate ALL the time when he was about six or seven. We even made a "Private-Do Not Enter" sign, to save my nerves from walking in on him. :jawdrop: But I didn't make it a big deal, just made sure he did it in his room...

Now he is fourteen and just got over his first girlfriend. They got as far as holding hands and that was all he wanted to do. In fact, he got annoyed because his best friend was pushing him to go further than he was ready to. Made my mommy heart proud, that did! _handclapp

Marcasite
November 11th, 2005, 09:06 PM
wow, I thought I was the only dirty lil kid! when I was like 4 I said I was gonna marry my sister, but we had no idea marriage involved anything more than hanging out together all the time and making pancakes for one another :P wasn't too concerned about where babies came from and the suchlike! I started "experimenting" around 9 years old just kissing my friends and my (twin) sister for practise, my friends even "played" sex, which was just rubbing up against eachother clothed, but I never really felt anything "sexual" though I continued to feel dirty about it for aaages. when I was 10 or 11 my friends and I used to strip and compare our development, like who has the most hairs down there and the suchlike
So, though I'd experimented with girls, I had no idea about boys and was really in the dark about sex for a long while. I remember watching something about mary when I was 13 or so and really not getting it. As for my first experience with a boy,when we were both 16... neither him nor I could figure out if he was circumsized or not!

CoolJ
November 11th, 2005, 10:43 PM
This thread freaks me out. I'm sorry. ... :eek:

I guess I was just raised in a super-clean environment. Too clean. Still am :(

Cyzarine
November 12th, 2005, 06:30 PM
I cannot say because my kids aren't even a year old...but I started exploring at about 12...guess I'm a late bloomer compared to the ages now a days.