.........

[angelicwitch1983]

ive gone insane and im already scratching myself till i bleed. if i succeed, then the place would be better. if not, then pray that i will succeed. i am not more than a mere failure and a shame to even my own mother. there goes all hope for me............

[violet rain]

whats going on hon?

[FeatherGoblinglimmer]

Sweetheart. Take a breath, calm down. Nothing is worth this. Your mother is your mother and will love you no matter what, even if you have the worst relationship ever. You are not a failure. Noone is. Everything can be sorted somehow, there is always a way. Call a friend. Do something sweetheart.

[Shanti]

We are here to hear you. You are a giving person and by no means a failure.
Slow down. Take a breath.
~hugs~

[angelicwitch1983]

have you ever been told that your own mother is so damn tired of you and keeps on giving you so much crap that you couldnt take it? clue: scratchy scratchy scratchy is all im doing. im just punishing myself.... :bug: :scream:

[Pesha]

I sense so much pain in you dear. I send positive light and love your way and tell you to please always remember this:

You are a beloved child of the Universe. The Great Mother formed you and loves you. Feel peace dearone.

BB
DS.

[Shatril]

Can you tell us what behavior your mother does not like, and why she decided she was tired of it? She still loves you, but something has triggered a bad response from her. Do you have any ideas about this? Some days parents just have bad days, however if she knew what you were doing with her response, I'm sure she would want to help.

[Shanti]

Hon. my mother told me that she didnt even want me. I was suppose to replace my dead brother but I was born a girl. I grew up with knowing this. She wouldnt let me forget.
But I know one thing....even if I am not important to some...there is still a reason why I am here. I am 44 now and my kids love me and are glad I am here and my SO loves me. I matter to them. I love me.
Time will change things and you will find that you are very important too. Dont let yourself be so hurt...you are better than that. You deserve to love you!

[Hope]

((hugs)) and calm and love from with in

love
hope

[LadyTrinity]

?? :ahhhh: PM me if u want to talk. Im hear for you :hugz:

[Mesektet]

Our chantry sends our energy to you in this time of need. We are all children of light, and we are all loved.

[HorseCrow]

:hugz: Hang in there hon, it'll get better (((Love and light)))

[angelicwitch1983]

i feel awful now cuz i damaged myself again. but this time, in two months i will be moving out so maybe a change of scenery is in order and needed. as for my arm, i went to that mystic wicks and they helped me pick out oils i need to help mend it as well as a candle and incense to help pray to my real mother goddess. i think shes the only parent i have now and i do love her. :foh:

[OriginalWacky]

i feel awful now cuz i damaged myself again. but this time, in two months i will be moving out so maybe a change of scenery is in order and needed. as for my arm, i went to that mystic wicks and they helped me pick out oils i need to help mend it as well as a candle and incense to help pray to my real mother goddess. i think shes the only parent i have now and i do love her. :foh:
Okay, this is going to likely sound horrible, but I gotta say it.

Screw your mother. If she doesn't want you around, then so what? *I* want you around. I'm willing to bet there are others as well.

Okay, now to the better stuff. Honestly, you are a worthwhile person. No matter what the problem is, no matter how bad it is, you are still worth so much here in this time and place. Keep your chin up, and you WILL make it through this, and you WILL find a way to be happier.

I'll be happy to stir you into the cauldron.

[angelicwitch1983]

good news i think ill be moving out in a few months, maybe 2, and then ill be normal again. and about getting a job, i found out my bf's mom knows the manager at a place so itll be easier to find one and settle down in my own place. :)

[Shanti]

good news i think ill be moving out in a few months, maybe 2, and then ill be normal again. and about getting a job, i found out my bf's mom knows the manager at a place so itll be easier to find one and settle down in my own place. :)
Thats great news! You can leave and leave all the crap behind you. Move forward hon. It will get better. :)

[angelicwitch1983]

yay yay! itll get better like you said ^_^ :fprisoner

[Lunacie]

**sending hugs and energy**

Are you in therapy, hon? I've found a couple of great discussion boards that deal with folks who have survived some really bad childhoods but still try to hurt themselves. If you're interested I can share those URLs with you.