View Full Version : Animal Humor

August 24th, 2004, 10:34 AM
How Many Dogs Does It Take to Change A Light Bulb?

1. Golden Retriever
The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives
ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a
stupid burned out bulb?

2. Border Collie
Just one. And then I'll replace any
wiring that's not up to code.

3. Dachshund
You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

4. Rottweiler
Make me.

5. Boxer
Who cares? I can still play with my
squeaky toys in the dark.

6. Lab
Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me
change the light bulb!
Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I?
Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!

7. German Shepherd
I'll change it as soon as I've led these
people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any,
and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has
tried to take advantage of the situation.

8. Jack Russell Terrier
I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off
the walls and furniture

9. Old English Sheep Dog
Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a
light bulb?

10. Cocker Spaniel
Why change it? I can still pee on the
carpet in the dark.

11. Chihuahua
Yo quiero Taco Bulb.

12. Pointer
I see it, there it is, there it is, right
there ...

13. Greyhound
It isn't moving. Who cares?

14. Australian Shepherd
First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a
little circle ..

15. Poodle
I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear
and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will
be dry.

The Cat's Answer
"Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change
light bulbs. So, the real question is How long will it be before I
can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?"


What is a Cat?

1. Cats do what they want.
2. They rarely listen to you.
3. They're totally unpredictable.
4. When you want to play, they want to be alone.
5. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
6. They expect you to cater to their every whim.
7. They're moody.
8. They leave hair everywhere.

CONCLUSION They're tiny women in little fur coats.

What is a Dog?

1. Dogs spend all day sprawled on the most comfortable piece
of furniture in the house.
2. They can hear a package of food opening half
a block away, but don't hear you when you're
in the same room.
3. They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.
4. They growl when they are not happy.
5. When you want to play, they want to play.
6. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
7. They leave their toys everywhere.
8. They do disgusting things with their mouths and then
try to give you a kiss.
9. They go right for your crotch as soon as they meet you.

CONCLUSION They're tiny men in little fur coats.

August 24th, 2004, 01:12 PM

Holly Ariadna
August 24th, 2004, 02:25 PM
LMAO! :lol: I'd hear the cats being women joke, but not the one about dogs being men!

Bainidhe Dub
August 24th, 2004, 02:28 PM
*giggles* I needed a good laugh *smiles*

August 24th, 2004, 02:40 PM
all are soo true,but i liked the Chuwawa(sp?)

August 25th, 2004, 05:16 AM
My fav is rottweiler, lab and pointer :lol: