flaws

[Infinite Muse]

how do you get over your worst flaws? like overcome them, not just accept them.
like mine is: no followthrough. i completely lack it.
sometimes i even ask questions on this forum and never go back to read the answers (rollseyes) not because i am not interested in the answers but because i lack the followthrough, let myself get distracted by something else, and eventually forget
so .. how have you overcome your flaws

[Nighthawk]

I am not sure... It might be different fo reach different person. Followthrough...I have a problam with this too...but, I think working harder at it each day could help.

[misschief]

when you get an answer.. let me in on it. i do the same thing.

[DebLipp]

Overcome flaws first by realizing you're not going to change; you're not going to become a person who doesn't have those flaws. Instead, you're going to modify and adapt. So self-acceptance is crucial. You can't fight yourself or work against yourself. You'll set up negative energy and negative energy is naturally resisted; so you'll resist your own best efforts to change.

Instead, look at the flaw and say "This is hard to live with, how can I modify it?" Look at your positive attributes and see which of those could help to modify the flaws.

Example: Suppose you're bad at follow-through but good at routine; you are good at doing the same thing at the same time every day. In fact, if you're VERY routinized, this could be WHY you're bad at follow-through. Following through on something new represents a break in routine.

(But even if this isn't the case, you could still be good at routine. In fact, EVERYONE is at least a little bit good at routine because everyone gets up in the morning and brushes their teeth every day and so on. )

So create a follow-through routine. For example, with forgetting to follow up on questions you ask on the forum, you could turn notifications on, and then you'd be emailed the response and you wouldn't have to independently remember. Or you could have the notifications appear in your CP and then just ROUTINELY remember to check your CP every day.

The point is that you're using skills you already possess to modify other behaviors you have. My ex is very forgetful, and this is bad because he needs to take medication. So he sets his watch-alarm to go off when it's time to take his meds. He isn't changing the forgetfulness, he's modifying behavior to adapt to and correct the problems caused by forgetfulness.

[Desdemona]

I think if you want to overcome your flaws, it's like breaking any bad habit, or trying to cultivate a new one. *rubs chin, ponders* I think you have to make a conscious choice every day to do it. Pick an area in particular, even try keeping a journal. They say if you can keep anything up for twenty one days in a row, it becomes habit. I don't know who "they" are, or how they arrived at the magic number of 21, but it works.

At work, I was promoted, but one of the areas my superiors were concerned about and almost didn't promote me because of, was weak follow through. I get distracted easily too.

So what I do is I have a calendar that shows the entire month, and I write things on it that need to be revisited, and I track them. I put it on my to-do list every day. This seems to help. Stuff still falls through the cracks, but not as much as it used to. :bigredgri

Edited to add:

The point is that you're using skills you already possess to modify other behaviors you have. My ex is very forgetful, and this is bad because he needs to take medication. So he sets his watch-alarm to go off when it's time to take his meds. He isn't changing the forgetfulness, he's modifying behavior to adapt to and correct the problems caused by forgetfulness.What she said. :)

[Druchii]

how do you get over your worst flaws? like overcome them, not just accept them.
like mine is: no followthrough. i completely lack it.
sometimes i even ask questions on this forum and never go back to read the answers (rollseyes) not because i am not interested in the answers but because i lack the followthrough, let myself get distracted by something else, and eventually forget
so .. how have you overcome your flaws

This may sound silly, but post it notes do it for me. If I consistently remind myself what I want to do and how I want to change that aspect of myself, I will write myself notes to overcome it.

[Asthmorte]

my boyfriend helps me with that...everytime I apologize for one of my flaws he always says that its ok, tells me Im beautiful...he says all kinds of nice things. He makes me feel a bit better about myself.

[dr_zeus440]

sometimes i even ask questions on this forum and never go back to read the answers (rollseyes)
eh, happens all the time!

the best way to break your bad habits is to make a forceful decision to break them. you can sit down and talk it through and get answers all you want, but until you actually follow through, you havent changed. so bugger thinking about following through, just do it, its that simple. all you need is will, and if youre any kind of practitioner you should have plenty of that already.

[Æon Flux]

Well... I would have to say that I do overcome my flaws by accepting them and making little changes at a time.
Like my over eating. I started by replacing some of the real food with salad and then I slowly made the portions smaller and voila!
It took me less then a year to get my eating under controle, which is really good because bad habits and eating disorders doesnt break easily.
It's best to start small and dvance slowly, because otherwise it'll never work.