Our Mates=Our Parents?

[Avalon]

Been doing some thinking about relationships lately, and got to pondering about my ex.

I thought he was perfect for me, for so many reasons. The more I thought about it, however, I realized that the things that attracted me to him in the first place were traits that my estranged father had. For a long time I had always gone against the Freudian-styled assumption that we are attracted to people that resemble our father (or mother for the fellows) in some way, physically or such. What are your views on this? David was truly the only time I could say that one of my boyfriends reminded me of my father.

[Rockprincess]

My husband is just about the opposite of my father, personality wise. Physically, they're similar - tall, very slender but lithe and strong, but my husband is dark whereas my father is very fair.

[oldsoul]

My man right now is eerily similar to my Dad. Ive often wondered about that myself. Give him blue eyes and Id be seeking therapy!! But its not always the case. My ex (you know who) isnt anything like my dad. I was more attracted to sense of humour in that case, completely different "style".

[Radocs]

I wouldn't be able to stand someone with my mother's personality for more than about 5 minutes. Thus I have never dated anyone like that.

[Bainidhe Dub]

You know... all my exes were as far away from being anything like my dad as possible lol.

[Shanti]

My SO is a lot like my father. Which is good, I liked my dad and I got along with him when I was a kid. My mom tore us apart when my folks got divorced when I was 12 and because she hated my dad, we couldnt have anything to do with him either. That sucked because I hated my mom, and thats not an understament. She is a very not nice person. I would of rather have been with my dad, but thats was a long time ago and he's passed on now.
My SO matches in personality and interest but not looks...and I am a lot like my dad too! :)

[WitchJezebel]

I wouldn't be able to stand someone with my mother's personality for more than about 5 minutes. Thus I have never dated anyone like that.

Same for me with my Dad - he really works my nerves. But come to think of it, I can't be in a room with my Mom for very long either... I pretty much date only men who are not like my Father.

[Terestai]

I wouldn't be able to stand someone with my mother's personality for more than about 5 minutes. Thus I have never dated anyone like that.

I second that!! :D I love my mother dearly, but would never be able to spend the rest of my life with someone like her.

[BlackMadonna]

Our Mates=Our Parents?
Yes, if we haven't worked out our parental issues yet.

[~Anamorata~]

Sometimes, I wondered, if my SO isn't really my brother...since, he & my dad are so similiar...tall, muscular, musician/biker type...and they both have the same bloody opinions, it's downright evil sometimes! :foh:

[Tzhebee]

My SO is similar to my fathers in many ways. Both of my dads being complete opposites, my SO pulls the best from each of them. Build-wise he is more similar to my step-dad. Attitude matches my father (unless he is working outside, then it is all step-dad). The way he cares for his family is 100% unique though. Thankfully he does not resemble either of my fathers in that aspect.

But, I got to thinking about me and his mom....ACK! :bug: why did I just do that!?!?!? I know realize why I can't stand that woman....she is me in 20 years. :lol: We have identical attitudes, but that is where the resemblance ends.

[Gothic Rayne]

I love my Dad but I don't want to date someone like him. I like that kind soul, but my Dad is way too laid back for my tastes!

[SacredWithin]

Well, I think it all depends on the person. I guess if you were always a needy person, then most likely you would proabbyl end up with someone like the parent that has raised you to feel that way. What I mean by the parent raising you to feel that way, I mean that some parents are quick to jump on something and do something for their child when they could very well do it on their own. Also, I see this in parents who baby their children from a very young age.

[Pan]

My mom always said I'd marry someone like my father.

And I did! He's so much like my father is scary. :lol:

I don't mind, though. My father is a wonderful man and I love him very much.

I'm just turning out a lot like my mother. :2G:

[morrigen]

You know... all my exes were as far away from being anything like my dad as possible lol.

Absolutely....and deliberately so!

[Silver_Undine]

My SO reminds me a lot of my dad. There are times when he says things and I have to do a double take to make sure I'm not talking to my dad. LOL.

[Sylvan]

I've noticed that over the years, I've had crushes on boys who looked like my cousins. :bigredblu

Can't say whether any of them remind me of my father though. And Hubby is not like Dad at all. His dad is/was more like my dad, I think...

[AbyssRose]

Well, I never had a problem with my father. But the guy im with now..is JUST like my dad..they say the same things..I watch the way he eats and he eats exactly like my dad.. some of his little peeves are just like my dad.. its kinda scary sometimes but I love him and I love my dad very much so I guess it will be okay :)

[misschief]

my husband doesn't look like my dad at all.. but they have the same personality and protectiveness of my kids and me. but... isn't it proven that people look for the traits of their parents in their mate?

[Sylvan]

Oh! Actually, you remember that "What Star Wars character are you" quiz that was out a while back? Hubby and Dad took it, and they both wound up as Lando Calrissian! :foh:
Interesting...

[Pol]

Physically and in personality, my wife could not be further from my mother. I think it's a bushel of bull, if you will. I'm sure there are many people where it rings true, but I think it's just their personal taste, and no connection - and definitely it's not true for everyone, or even a majority.

[Pol]

Oh! Actually, you remember that "What Star Wars character are you" quiz that was out a while back? Hubby and Dad took it, and they both wound up as Lando Calrissian! :foh:
Interesting...


Wow, your husband and dad are both totally awesome black dudes with little capes? Cool. :fpartyman

[Sylvan]

*snorticle* :hehehehe: And I'm Yoda... a short green old dude with big ears... :lol:

[Pol]

Kinky.

That's all I'm saying.

[Aine of the Fae]

At first I didn't think my husband was like my father at all, but the longer we are married the more I realize he is. And not in good ways either.

[Velvet]

I think I probably will end up with someone with my dad's personality with a few minor changes.

[Flaire-FireStar]

I've always been attracted to people that have some qualities like my dad. Not entirely, though.
I'd never be with anyone like my mom.

[Desdemona]

Here's one for ya: I am wildly attracted to men who act like my mother. Yeap. That is what I found out in therapy. They are taller, hairier, deeper-voiced versions of her with testicles, but that is my dysfunction. :eyez:

Thank god I married a man like my dad. He is sweet, sensitive and egalitarian. Like my dad. He even sounds like my dad.

[wounded_crow]

what's funny is i really don't act much like either of my parent's. I do worry from time to time (thanks mom) and I've heard words come out of my mouth in my dad's tone of voice (thanks dad) but when I decided to date I looked for women more like myself (and I married her). I did this because I don't know when my parent's stopped loving each other (though they are not separated) but I never wanted to be like that (never do) I tell my wife I love her ever waking hour and I will untill the day I die. No matter what.

[Moonstoned]

Dad has very dark skin and hair, and that is definitely what men I used to go for have. Husband has it. Apart from that, no.

The bad thing is that sometimes when we get into arguments, I see my Dad (with whom I have a terrible relationship) standing there, instead of my Husband. Projection you know? And that makes everything ten times worse. I have to remind myself that the father of my child is not MY father. :bug: That sounds strange, well, you know what I mean, my 'father stereotype' wasn't a good one.

[Faery-Wings]

At first I didn't think my husband was like my father at all, but the longer we are married the more I realize he is.
*nods*
When I met my hubby, 14 years ago, I thought he was the farthest thing from my very conservative, Italian, Catholic father. Now that we have been married for 11 years- there are so many simililarities in their personalities it is eeerie. And I find that I am turning into my mother. I am resisiting on some factors but sometimes it is hard.