I'm so unhappy

[vocis noctis]

My girlfriend and I split up yesterday. I had some aggression in me when she did so I threw my bicycle away which was the wrong way of expressing my feelings. She ran away. When I was going after her, she was @ a friend's place where I talked with her for a while, gave her a hug and a last kiss, and told her "You're my best friend ever!".

Today I went there again, stood in front of her window and started to sing a song. That fell the wrong way, I scared her and her mum and they both were terrified by me even tho i did nothing to harm them. I have not only lost her love but now I have lost her friendship too. I can't take this well; I wish time would travel more fast......

Does anyone know any harmless spells to regain happiness for myself, for my love and for us together? I just want her happy...

Yours sadly,

Mark.

[Danustouch]

I hope you meant harmless. And sweetie...we can't give you spells to regain her love. She has freewill. My suggestion to you, is to do a spell to heal your own broken heart. Goodluck.

[mol]

Originally posted by vocis noctis


Does anyone know any harmfull spells to regain happiness for myself, for my love and for us together? I just want her happy...

Yours sadly,

Mark.

Yours is a sad story indeed. Not unlike many of us have had. Unfortunately, the best spell for this is a distance spell. Its a very simple one. You must stay away from her. You must 'distance' yourself from her. Its the only way...really. You might send her a letter (One Letter) and apologize for the misunderstanding. Then you must leave it be my friend.

It hurts yes...but you MUST leave it be.

[vocis noctis]

you're both right... I need to leave her alone. I've promised her (well actually my mum did) to send her a few letters so I will do that but it's in her hands now. All I can do is wait, because I will wait untill she comes back into my life whether it be as a friend or my girlfriend...

Yours in tears currently,

Mark

[Xois]

Hi Mark

I know this is sooo hard, but the more you push for contact the more it will look like you are not in control of yourself. And that will just scare both of them

Take some time, reflect and really meditate on whether or not a woman who isn't quite as interested in you, is worth it. Be gentle with yourself, love yourself, have a hot bath and some chocolate chip cookies

it will be ok, no matter what!

*hugs*

Xois

[vocis noctis]

a bath... wish we had one...

oh well i'll get better. the crying just still is alot.

[Xois]

Crying is good for you though!

*hugs*

[Wyrdsister]

Originally posted by vocis noctis
Does anyone know any harmfull spells to regain happiness for myself, for my love and for us together? I just want her happy... my italics

I hope this isn't a Freudian slip, vocis...

Others have given good advice here. A distance spell is an excellent idea.

Wyrdsister

[vocis noctis]

oops, I ment to put "Non-harmfull" in stead of harmfull there.... my bad 8O

[vocis noctis]

Later today my mood has changed from depressed to somewhat hatefully. I've been on the phone with her today. Just once, cuz I needed to know what and what not to expect. Basically all she told me is that I made an unforgivable mistake (which isn't seen like that by me, I <insert curse word here> stood at her window singing a song cuz I thought all was allright!!) and I will never expect any friendship or stuff like that. She told me I basically should get the peep out of her life. Damn that just hurts too much.She doesn't trust me anymore cuz of something I did with good intentions but instead it kinda backfired. Time to switch to the silent-treatment indeed. It's all in her hands now. I give up.......

[vocis noctis]

I have put all of my ex g/f's pictures and other stuff in a little box. I can't even listen to music without feeling depressed cuz I miss her so. I think I need some rest...

[MostSacredTears]

Mark I know I already said take care and all, but this seems like a little much.

Music is a feeling of many, it's a thing that reaches hearts. Music shared with one that you loved, will give you a memory of one that you love. Don't see it as something depressing bro, see it as something you shared and you'll never forget. I have those same songs, books, and places that I shared with my ex, so I cherish them, maybe you should too. It'll give you memories so she's always there with you.

I wish you the best of luck, and I hope all goes well for you. You come first, so help yourself in the best of ways, and let it all out and rest. Walk in the forest, think, sleep, and get it all out. Then you'll feel relieved.

Take care of yourself bud, talk to you soon.

~Patrick~

[rantnraven]

Have you heard the following poem?

If you love something, Set it free.
If it comes back, it is yours.
If it doesn't, it was never meant to be.

In love, the heart can get wounded and requires time to heal. If you break your leg at work - let's say you were a door-to-door saleman, would you return to work the next day? No. You would take some time off to "Heal".

When my, at the time, wife asked for a divorce after 8 years married, I, too, was devistated. However, I knew that only time could heal a wound THAT deep. She and I talk every now and again but I took a year off without communicating with her without lawyers. Prior to that, a Fiancee of 3 years disappeared 1 month prior to our wedding. I found out later that she had run off with her lover and married him on the same day she was to marry me. (Flat line!!). I've not seen or heard from her since.

Even though these things occur, your heart will heal with time. You will one day reflect on this with solemn joy - that I assure your.

Give your heart time, stop all communications. And remember, she will need time to heal as well. If you love her, and you love yourself, allow for time to pass and wounds to heal.

*End Elder Mode*

*Start Friend Mode*

Give it up for now, man. Not worth putting youself through this additional torment. Smile and go get an Ice Cream or something. That always helped me.

*Never Ending Friend Mode*

Blessings and energy,
RnR

[vocis noctis]

RnR, thanks. You've opened my eyes in a different way.

Today she and I phoned. We talked and talked, I respect her choise because love is never coming from one side, both sides have to agree to the feelings of love and sometimes (well almost every time), that feeling ends. I have said to her all that I wanted to, all we need is time for now. Maybe she will come back and will love me once again but I don't really see that coming, so I want a friendship instead. A really good friendship in which we will still be able to watch films together, go out together and have fun together. I don't want her to leave my life, I just hope she can handle a friendship. I won't stop loving her, I'm sure of that, but the feeling will fade away at one point and won't be as strong as it is now. Love is a difficult subject. Thanks everyone for listening to me, I will keep posting here when I need to let things out, because that is always a great thing to do.

Yours healingly,

Mark

[vocis noctis]

Originally posted by MostSacredTears
Mark I know I already said take care and all, but this seems like a little much.

Music is a feeling of many, it's a thing that reaches hearts. Music shared with one that you loved, will give you a memory of one that you love. Don't see it as something depressing bro, see it as something you shared and you'll never forget. I have those same songs, books, and places that I shared with my ex, so I cherish them, maybe you should too. It'll give you memories so she's always there with you.

I wish you the best of luck, and I hope all goes well for you. You come first, so help yourself in the best of ways, and let it all out and rest. Walk in the forest, think, sleep, and get it all out. Then you'll feel relieved.

Take care of yourself bud, talk to you soon.

~Patrick~

The memories still are to new in my memory to think about them and cherish them. I don't want to hate her for what she's done, so I think my memory needs a break now, and one time I will listen to the music and cherish it just as you are doing now.
Thanks Patrick. You've been a good friend in a long time.

[sherry]

Mark,
I do know very well exactly how you feel, as all of us over the age of 16 have had at least one broken heart. Putting all the photos and music in a box will bring back the hurt when you open the box again. My suggestion is to give the music to someone who will enjoy it and put the photos away in an album for when your older. Myself I put them in a journal and wrote about the feelings I had when we met and some poetry, Then closed the journal paper clipped those pages together so I do not have to look at them everyday, I wrote about the happy and the sad and tried to pick out something I have learned from that person.
Not all of the feelings are the best but it did bring forth yet one more lesson and as I have heard everything is for a reason.
The fact that you went to her and sang shows how big of a heart you have and she just did not understand.

Journals are for me away of not staying with negative feelings, getting my words on paper so that the harshness does not cloud all the fun times. Putting down the heart ache on paper is a way to release how you really feel. It is a way for me to let go.

I also take long hot showers to release the tension and have found that the shower is a great place to cry. It is private, sounds do not upset everyone else in the house and I visualize the water running thru me to cleanse away all of the negative feelings so when I light my candle for meditation I do not reflect any harm to anyone with negative.

Good luck and Blessed Be Sherry

[Wolf Moon Witch]

Mark,
You've had a lot of good advice come your way. Love is one of life's hardest lessons to learn. Put it all in the hands of the Goddess. She will take care of you and in the meantime, take a time out and work through your feelings. Take a trip or something. Get away from everything. You need the space right now. Time is the greatest healer for you right now.

[Illuminatus]

Originally posted by vocis noctis
I don't want her to leave my life, I just hope she can handle a friendship. I won't stop loving her, I'm sure of that, but the feeling will fade away at one point and won't be as strong as it is now. Love is a difficult subject. Thanks everyone for listening to me, I will keep posting here when I need to let things out, because that is always a great thing to do.

Those friendships are usually a failure. They rarely succeed, and that is the case of a totally mutal breakup. In the case of a non-mutual breakup (or a dumping), one side always wants more. It's like a boat that is weighted down on one side, it will not go forward, it will only go in circles for a few weeks and then probably sink.

You will persue the friendship of course, but only on the hope that you two will be intimate again (in which case the ship will right itself).

Finally, the exact same thing that happened to you, happened to everyone else here. Almost exactly the same way, too. For me, she went off to Germany for two weeks and cheated on me. The story varies, but nobody gets out of this life alive, without a heartbreak. This trial is really no different from any others you have faced coming of age - skinning your knees on a bike, failing a test in school, puking up about 15 mixed drinks in the middle of your calculus midterm... okay, maybe that last one was just me. But you are walking in footsteps that are very well worn in.

[rantnraven]

Something about love. My ex-wifes words were this, "I still love you, (my name here). I'm just not 'In Love' any more". I pondered that for a while and I realized that I, too, felt the same way.

Just a thought to kick around.

RnR

[vocis noctis]

Originally posted by rantnraven
Something about love. My ex-wifes words were this, "I still love you, (my name here). I'm just not 'In Love' any more". I pondered that for a while and I realized that I, too, felt the same way.

Just a thought to kick around.

RnR

Humm... these words have been in my mind loads after you told them. I realise I still am in love with her, but she is not.

--

It was a bit weird tho. Yesterday we were both stoned (You people may not approve but I won't let myself be carried away. Don't worry.) on the telephone, and she gave me these hints she misses me. I wonder... I wonder if all my wishing and hoping would turn out to something good.
However, when we were a bit sobered up, I asked "hey am I having false hopes?" and she replied "yes".

Humm.... it's sometimes really hard.

[rain]

I know it's a well worn phrase, but time really is a great healer.

It has always worked for me!! And I know all about having so much anger and pain inside, I released mine by talking to good friends and changing it into positive energy to get on with my life.
And hugs from my kids of coursed helped more than words could ever.

Hugs to you my friend.

Blessed Be
rain

[Illuminatus]

However, when we were a bit sobered up, I asked "hey am I having false hopes?" and she replied "yes".

Humm.... it's sometimes really hard.

Yeah, but at least in terms of intimate relationships, women lie. So it's a good policy to take everything she says with a grain of salt.

- Illuminatus

[vocis noctis]

Originally posted by Illuminatus


Yeah, but at least in terms of intimate relationships, women lie. So it's a good policy to take everything she says with a grain of salt.

- Illuminatus

I need to keep this in mind. We were together the whole day and she gave me hints and even pinched my butt :p
But... when we were at home again, and the mood was changed, I said "am I still having false hopes?" and she said "yes" again even tho she gave me a lot of hints today to prove other wise and I know she loves me but won't admit it to anyone. I hope our love is strong enough. And maybe I'm on a wrong track and she really isn't lying....... who knows.

[Myst]

Originally posted by Illuminatus
Yeah, but at least in terms of intimate relationships, women lie. So it's a good policy to take everything she says with a grain of salt.


And men don't?