Why do I feel I have to try so hard?

[LittlePerson]

Why do I try so hard at my religious life at all? I want to just kind of go okay this is what I believe and this is what I am and I'm okay with that and leave it? But the thing is I can't. I worry. I worry about what other people think of me, what to call God, what to call myself, which religion is the "correct" religion, what if there really is a hell, why I want to go back to being christian but I don't believe anything christian anymore, why I'm not content...
I'm so frustrated right now. It's like I kind of know what I believe and how I practice my spirituality, but I try so hard to be more to learn more to do things the right way. I know I'm a virgo and have always been a perfectionist worry wart but I can't take this anymore. I struggle with knowing that there are things I don't know and feel I should like afterlife and all though I believe in rebirth but don't really know what happens after the lifetimes journey is over and I care but I don't want to. I have always felt comfortable praying to God in dialogue but feel pressured to label God and my spirituality or to pick a religion to not only please myself but others and the problem is that I'm not really fitting neatly into any organized religion. I've studied them all. I feel scared to actually call myself pagan and all since I know people feel it's their right to condemn me. I have recently had advice on this and that it's my right not share my religious beliefs with others. Okay but I'm still scared right now. I've been pagan for only nine months now and still feel scared of offending the Christian God I grew up believing in and going to a place called hell but I don't believe in hell, so that doesn't make any sense at all.
Can someone help? I just want to be comfortable with myself and my decisions and accept that I cannot know everything or have to label myself and God just because it easier for our society if we do. Aaagghh!
Whew that was a load of my chest. Thanks.

[misschief]

i went thru something similar a little while back. had a thread going and everything about my frustrations. i felt like mine wasn't enough, and that there has to be more out there. eventually it made me so mad that i just stopped everything for a while. one day i just started again. *shrug* maybe if you just leave it alone for a little while and try to otherwise occupy yourself it will become more clear. that advice was given to me, and worked. but you'll get several different opinions and ideas... so don't take mine and run with it. just hang out and see what's best for you.

[Nuiket]

I am not a Counslor Right now but That is a little normal for a lot of people. Turthfully only you can decide what is right for you. But in Honsety Hell is another thing for bad everyone has there bad sides to them the gods did before there was Chirst and that there is Chirst. It's Called the Devil. There is no real right way to believe except for your way you believe the way you want to and that is what is right for you.

[LittlePerson]

Thanks Nuiket. The Jews believe that God is both good and "evil". Light and dark that there is no devil. I more believe that than I do a separation. Hmmm.

[bshore]

If you're still looking for a counselor, I'd like to help. I'm seking a path to call mine, too, maybe we can help eachother out. PM me if you're interested.