For All The Ladies In The House...

[CloakofStars9]

ok ladies, it's time to stop making excuses for men, we all are guilty of it...

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A25122-2004Aug22.html

It was a great date. He promised to call. He never called.
The average single woman will stare at the phone, willing it to ring. A long list of possibilities noisily circle through her brain, like a hamster on an exercise wheel: He lost my number. He's really busy. He's intimidated. I talked too much. I drank too much. I slept with him. I didn't sleep with him. Ei-yi-yi . . .


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No, no, no. None of the above. The answer, according to author Greg Behrendt, is that he's not really interested. Doesn't matter why. No ego-soothing platitudes. No pop psychology. No cute relationship tricks. He's just not that into you. The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable.

The tough talk is tough love for women from Behrendt, who strips away all the excuses for men (why he didn't call, isn't faithful, disappears, won't commit, etc., etc.) in the new book, "He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys," so that women will stop wasting their time on the wrong guy.

http://media.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/images/I25107-2004Aug22 (http://javascript<b></b>:void(0)) Blair Underwood and Cynthia Nixon in a scene from "Sex and the City." Author Greg Behrendt served as a consultant on HBO's hit show before writing "He's Just Not That Into You." (Craig Blankenhorn -- HBO Via AP)

[Iris]

I HATE relationship games.

"The rules state that I can't sleep with him until the third date, and only then if we have spent at least 5 hours having a deep conversation, and only if he has kissed me at least three times..."

I mean geez, does anyone REALLY care about that stuff?

Personally if a guy didn't call me, I wouldn't sit around thinking "Oh, it was me, I did this and that wrong..." Nonsense! If you were being yourself, and he didn't like you, then that's his loss. Go look at pics of Johnny Depp, forget about the guy who didn't ring, eat chocolate, be happy. :D

[CloakofStars9]

I HATE relationship games.

"The rules state that I can't sleep with him until the third date, and only then if we have spent at least 5 hours having a deep conversation, and only if he has kissed me at least three times..."

I mean geez, does anyone REALLY care about that stuff?

Personally if a guy didn't call me, I wouldn't sit around thinking "Oh, it was me, I did this and that wrong..." Nonsense! If you were being yourself, and he didn't like you, then that's his loss. Go look at pics of Johnny Depp, forget about the guy who didn't ring, eat chocolate, be happy. :D
amen sista :D

[Tsuchimaru]

Men and women are amusing.... :fpartyfav

[WitchJezebel]

Ptthhh, I could have told you that... I learned that the hard way.

Iris- I hate the games too, but the problem is so many people play them. I've gone out with a few guys that actually wanted me to play the game and when I wouldn't they we're gone.

[Iris]

Iris- I hate the games too, but the problem is so many people play them. I've gone out with a few guys that actually wanted me to play the game and when I wouldn't they we're gone.

Then that's their loss, Jezebel! Girls like us just 'keep it real', to use a phrase I really hate!

The way I see it is, if you like someone, what's the problem with calling them the next day? I could never get the hang of this "Wait three days, call him once, turn around three times and throw salt over your shoulder..." malarkey :lol:

[Terestai]

I'm glad I don't have to play games with my sweetie. Not these types of games anyway. :heybaby:

[{Tigress}]

This is soooooooooooo true. Guys don't have to be chased. Took me years to figure that one out. lol

And so what if he's not "into you"? He just doesn't know what he's missing!

[Pesha]

Men can't live with them, can't live without them. The games are just silly. For me, I need a striaght forward honest guy, no games and hey, just tell me if we do not click, becasue I will tell you the same if necessary.

BB
DS.

[WitchJezebel]

Then that's their loss, Jezebel! Girls like us just 'keep it real', to use a phrase I really hate!

The way I see it is, if you like someone, what's the problem with calling them the next day? I could never get the hang of this "Wait three days, call him once, turn around three times and throw salt over your shoulder..." malarkey :lol:

Who makes up those stupid rules anyway? I mean if a guy tells me he'll call, without specifying a day then sure, you've got to give some time, but give me a break. I haven't made up an excuse over a guy not calling since my early 20's and even then, it was a big mistake. I think now that I've had more experience, I don't wait around for him to call at all so it's a pleasant surprise if he does. I scare most men away anyway because I'm pretty straightforward about what I'm about. Oh and I don't do giggly and cute at all.

[WandererInGray]

*laughs* I never made those excuses or played those games. Probably why I was single for about 95% of the time between about 15 and 25.

[Kaylara]

Well, honestly, if neither of you are willing to put in even the effort it takes to make a phone call, where is this going to go? I don't bother waiting. If I like you, then I let you know. If you don't like me back fine. Sure, it's led to some weird outcomes, but I don't see the point in playing these games honestly.

[LadyTrinity]

I got told I would get a call in a few days from a guy and he called the next morn :woot:

[Katya]

if a guy didn't call me, screw him, i don't care.

[SacredWithin]

I have a question for the men checking this thread out (we know you arehttp://mysticwicks.com/images/icons/icon10.gif)

Why would you even waste your time telling a girl you're going to call her if you won't? It doesn't seem logical at the least.

[Hawkbrother]

I HATE relationship games.

Relationships are games??? Huh guess I've never palyed that one!

[Hawkbrother]

I have a question for the men checking this thread out (we know you arehttp://mysticwicks.com/images/icons/icon10.gif)

Why would you even waste your time telling a girl you're going to call her if you won't? It doesn't seem logical at the least.

Way back in the day when I was dateing, no matter how badly the date went I would call back if only to say thanks for the coffee or whatever...

[WitchJezebel]

Way back in the day when I was dateing, no matter how badly the date went I would call back if only to say thanks for the coffee or whatever...

That's very polite and I'm sure welcomed, but I've only had 1 man do that and it was because he was actually interested. I've called a man back the next day to say thank you for dinner, coffee, etc. and if they don't respond to that I just let it go. It's like some of the others said; if you're not interested don't say you'll call in the first place. I make it abundantly clear if I want to see you again, I expect the same in return.

[{Tigress}]

I have a question for the men checking this thread out (we know you arehttp://mysticwicks.com/images/icons/icon10.gif)

Why would you even waste your time telling a girl you're going to call her if you won't? It doesn't seem logical at the least.

That article had a good answer in it. They don't want the drama. It's easier for them to lie and fade away than it is to come out and say "I don't like you" and deal with the anger or tears that would ensue. And I have to agree... women don't make it easy for guys to be honest with us.

[Iris]

That article had a good answer in it. They don't want the drama. It's easier for them to lie and fade away than it is to come out and say "I don't like you" and deal with the anger or tears that would ensue. And I have to agree... women don't make it easy for guys to be honest with us.

In my opinion, that's no excuse!

It's NOT always easy to be honest, but, ya know, you just have to do it!

It's just downright unfair and cowardly to say you'll call and then not call...I had this happen to me once. It annoyed me even more because I specifically said to him "Don't say you'll call if you're not going to. If you have no intentions of calling then fine, but don't lie." He lied anyway :uzi:

Coward. Meh, who needs a man like that!

[Noriohtle]

Those men who say they are going to call then dont just do us a favor makes it easier to weed out the "Dead Wood"

Now i have one that continually calls me ... UGGHH .. at 3:00 in the morning and he knows i have to be at work at 7am!! i tell him to call at 5 as i get out of bed for coffee but he always rings in the middle of the night!!

Worthless men who would lie to you are not worth your time.
Men who want to play "games" are not worth your time
Learn that one you want in your life is out there and you will meet him.. when he is done with the ones that he is lying to this week (they all do it)

[Iris]

Relationships are games??? Huh guess I've never palyed that one!

No, they're not. That's my point! ;)

[OKmagnolia]

well, if you can't sleep with a guy until after your 3rd date then that means there is at least one rule that i didn't break. It took my husband a month or more just to kiss me. Hey, it has been over 8 years ago, I can't remember it that clearly.

[Garnet]

I used to be one of those that waited for a guy to call if he said he would. Honest, all he'd have to say is 'I'll call some time." without being at all specific, & I'd go home & set up camp next to the phone...pitch my tent & grill hot-dogs within inches of that @#%&!!! phone, & spend all my time there for days.
Now, I don't bother. I tell myself that he's lying & forget about him. If he does call, wow...a real surprise!!! If he doesn't, oh well.

[~ Monk ~]

That article had a good answer in it. They don't want the drama. It's easier for them to lie and fade away than it is to come out and say "I don't like you" and deal with the anger or tears that would ensue. And I have to agree... women don't make it easy for guys to be honest with us.Yep - I think for a majority of cases you've hit the nail on the head.


In my opinion, that's no excuse!

It's NOT always easy to be honest, but, ya know, you just have to do it!

It's just downright unfair and cowardly to say you'll call and then not call...I had this happen to me once. It annoyed me even more because I specifically said to him "Don't say you'll call if you're not going to. If you have no intentions of calling then fine, but don't lie." He lied anyway :uzi:

Coward. Meh, who needs a man like that!To be fair, though, there are plenty of women who play the same kind of game. Giving a number to a hopeful guy, then never returning a call. If you're not interested, why give someone hope? Honesty needs to go both ways.